4 Yazz invited Courtney to stay at hers at the end of their first year she warned her that at least one of Mum's harem was likely to be walking about the house half-naked in the morning and trust me, that's not a pleasant sight with the oldies Courtney'd only been to London once before, a day trip involving a bus tour to Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Big Ben, St Paul's Cathedral and the Tower of London, before getting the train straight back to Dartingford they shared Yazz's double bed and chatted before they went to sleep that first night with the lights off and the moon shining straight on to the bed, which made the night feel special to Yazz, especially when the nights were warm and the window was open as they lay there, Yazz asked Courtney why she hadn't visited the capital more often, you don't know what you've been missing, babe it's because my parents don't like London, Courtney replied, they think it's a hellhole full of coloureds, suicide bombers, left-wingers, luvvies, gays and Polish immigrants, who deprive the hardworking men and women of this country of the chance to earn a good living; Dad gets all his political thoughts from the newspapers, quotes from them verbatim, although funnily enough he's friends with Raj, the mechanic in the village, they drink together down the pub when I call him a hypocrite, he says, it's Raj, Courtney, he's different you can tell your dad from me that the British economy would collapse without immigrants to set higher working standards, Mum says give me a Polish plumber or electrician over homegrown workers any day it makes no difference to him, he says they're all the same, love, meaning all the people he hates I can't wait to see his face when I bring home a mixed-race baby Yazz showed Courtney Peckham, Stockwell, Brixton, Streatham as they walked down Brixton High Street, Courtney said she was going to faint at all the beefsteak on show, couldn't help staring at the juicy buns on the boys whose jeans were so low they exposed almost their entire underpants
Yazz noticed that those 'buns' reciprocated Courtney's attention, her creamy softness pouring ostentatiously over the top of her denim blouse they stared at Courtney, not at Yazz, who wasn't the one getting checked out as usual, and she usually got checked out a lot not that she's interested in the kind of male who belts their trousers underneath their bum today it's all about Courtney, who's not even particularly hot and it's like Yazz is invisible and her friend is an irresistible goddess a white girl walking with a black girl is always seen as black-man- friendly Yazz has been here before with other white mates it makes her feel so jaded they arranged to meet up with Nenet at her family house behind Queensway Nenet texted the directions, 'around the corner from Hyde Park LOL' they arrived at a large house behind a security gate and had to ring the bell to be let into a drive made of crunchy gravel a maid wearing a black uniform with white pinafore let them into a hallway of marble floors, fountain, colonnades and a winding Hollywood staircase that went all the way up to a domed roof Nenet came bounding down the stairs to greet them holding a tiny ball of fluffy white fur in her arms, her shih-tzu, Lady Maisie here, she said, thrusting it at them, have a cuddle Courtney was happy to oblige, even let it snuggle up to her face, cooing about how cute it was, being used to far worse with farm animals, Yazz imagined, like pigs and sticking her hands up cows' anuses to release their constipated stools she herself declined to touch it, not liking to get too close to things that licked their own bottoms clean Nenet gave them a quick tour of the house, which Yazz thought was sick, as in obscenely rich sick not sick as in wonderful Nenet apologized for her mother's ostentatious taste in home decor, not for her wealth please be careful what you touch, squaddies!
Yazz noticed Courtney acting as if she was honoured to have been allowed into Nenet's life now that she'd seen how she lived Nenet was now 'Nenet who lives in a huge house near Hyde Park', something Yazz couldn't mentally undo or un-factor into her opinion of her friend she realized that knowing someone comes from money isn't the same as witnessing the extent of it in close proximity they went for a walk in Hyde Park, strolled along the Serpentine in the sunshine Yazz looked out at the blue lake and people enjoying themselves in pedalos and rowing boats the path around it seemed to be a cruising strip for rich Arabs, the car park rammed with cars with doors that opened upwards and golden wheel hubs that could save the National Health Service Nenet, who usually wore designer sportswear at uni, was clad in a tight top, short skirt, high heels, and looped over her shoulder was a Chanel bag with a gold chain her body language changed whenever a group of young men approached to admiringly check her over, which they did without fail, what with her cascading black hair, gleaming brown skin and toned legs this was her milieu, she was walking like a princess, a bit up herself Nenet always insisted she was Mediterranean, much to Yazz's amusement and Waris's annoyance when she tried to convince them she wasn't black or even African as her family were from Alexandria on the Egyptian coast you're African, Nenet, Waris lambasted her, go on, admit it, you're an African woman, and she'd jump on Nenet and pretend to beat her up, the pair of them squealing like six-year-olds the Serpentine cruisers ignored Yazz who was way too dark for them (yeh and they can piss off) they boldly slow-stripped Courtney with their eyes as if she was a chambermaid Courtney got off on it, loving the attention Yazz didn't want to break the news to her
the three of them discussed university in a way they didn't when they were on campus, but somehow today felt different, their first year had passed, the long summer stretched ahead Yazz and Courtney were going to spend it prepping for their second year by getting on top of their reading lists, that and summer jobs would keep them busy Waris had already started an internship at a Wolverhampton charity for ex-offenders Courtney was about to start work in a lifestyle farm shop in Suffolk that sold cookers for ten thousand pounds Yazz was waitressing in a hip West End restaurant frequented by oligarchs, celebrities and Premier League footballers with their trophy wives, mistresses and escorts she made notes on her phone for her future memoir and took surreptitious photos with her iPhone Nenet, who was getting off on being in her natural habitat and the centre of attention, confided that she wasn't planning on doing any reading for her Art History course because – guess what? she blurted out that she didn't need to and this is confidential so pleeeeaaase don't tell a soul, especially not Waris, the truth is that I commission my essays from a retired academic she turned to face them, expecting admiration, approval Yazz was stunned, replied quietly, you're supposed to work for your degree like everyone else, I didn't know you were one of the cheats it's not cheating when everyone else is doing it that doesn't make it right and not everyone is at it wake up, Yazz, people aren't going to tell you, are they? Kadim's MBA is costing him a fortune Yazz wondered if their friendship could overcome Nenet's cheating on top of her extreme privilege, it explained why she could binge-watch an entire Netflix series the night before an exam and still get an A+ for her coursework Nenet was a spoilt, lazy and immoral princess who didn't play by the rules and would do anything to hold on to her privilege, even marry someone picked by her parents
Yazz wondered if sharing the same corridor in halls and being one of the few brown girls on a white campus was really enough to keep the Unfuckwithables together post-university, or even into their second year, come to think of it Yazz had to work hard, to lay the groundwork for the future because she's got to be at the top of her game, and Courtney (or rather Roxane Gay) really was right, she can see that now, privilege is about context and circumstance and even if she was rich she wouldn't cheat, she's going to earn her first class degree and like Waris will bust a gut to get it, she's not going to be ejected into the big bad world with a poor degree and no master plan, last term she met third year students about to graduate who looked terrified when she asked them about their next steps a Master's in Journalism beckons, in London, where she fits in and can live rent free with Mum she's already a regular feature writer for the student newspaper, Nu Vox, and her column, Why is My Professor Not Black?, inspired by a student conference she attended in her first term, generated more online comments than any other that month, only half of them totally ignorant, of course, written anonymously by the inbred, pea-brained, racist, cowardly, fugly and utterly friendless trolls of this planet the point is, the article boosted her rep and she's become a personality on campus, someone asked for her opinion by the Media Society and student radio she's going to try and place articles in professional newspapers and über- blogs next year, and she's going to assume the editorship of Nu Vox in her third year, when she's eligible she's going to get herself elected President of the Media Society she's already thinking about her campaign strategy woe betide any pipsqueak usurpers who get in her way she knows it won't be easy, she's ready for the fight Yazz reflects on the rest of the squad Courtney's a really nice person, formerly naïve and uncomplicated, who's grown so much since she first arrived at uni and is now more worldly-wise through her membership of the squad, who aren't your typical students in the east of England, that is:
a badass humanitarian whose mother is a lesbian luvvie and whose father is a gay 'intellectual' a super-rich (cheat) who's politically connected to the old Egyptian elite a Muslim Somali woman who wears a hijab and is a mixed martial artist Waris is the deepest of them all, because her family has such a painful history, even though she hates it when people feel sorry for her Waris's life has been the most unfair and it's forced her to prematurely maturate just as life's obstacles have forced her, Yazz, to prematurely maturate, too and so it begins The Last Amazon of Dahomey the play.
Dominique