18

Chapter 9

Chapter Seven


Chapter Seven

“ARE you going to tell me what the hell happened?” Tyler barked.

I’m falling in love with someone who can’t love me back.

Alyssa winced at the thought. Lingering over the act of drawing back

the blinds at Bonheur to let in the midday sun, she tried to decide what to

say.

Finally, she turned to him. “Nothing.”

It was a huge lie. The most shatteringly pleasurable night of her life

reduced to one trite word. If she hadn‟t been going to hell already, the lie

would have put her there.

He arched a tawny brow. “The shadows under your eyes have bags so

large they could pack for a trip to Europe. As soon as we got to Sexy

Sirens this morning, you shut yourself into your bedroom. I fucking heard

you cry. I don‟t have to be a genius to figure out that since you spent last

night with that short-order loser, maybe something went down.”

“Tears are no big deal.” Except Luc didn‟t love her. They were just

fucking, and she‟d just charged down the path to a big, ol‟ heartache with

no idea how to backpedal.

“You didn‟t cry for your mother, but you cry for this prick? Baby, c‟mon.

You never call me at eight thirty in the morning unless it‟s an emergency.

While you were getting coffee, I peeked in your guest room. The bed was

perfectly made. Only other bed in that house is yours.” Tyler crossed his

arms over his chest, his glare pure pissed off. “Given that, you calling me

not long after the crack of dawn is significant. Now do you want to tell me what the hell happened?”

The bastard was too observant. “No.”

“You had sex with him.”

Amazing, relentless sex. Why confirm the obvious?

Alyssa moved to the next window and focused on the blinds.

“Goddamn it!” Tyler spoke through clenched teeth. “Did he hurt you?”

“Tyler, just leave it.”

“Hell, no! If he hurt you, if he forced you, I‟ll bust him up—”

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“No. We were mutually consenting adults, and that is the end of this

conversation.”

Suddenly, Tyler was across the room and his arms were around her.

He really was her best friend these days and it would be so easy to lean on

him. But so unfair to him.

“You don‟t have to be strong all the time,” he whispered. “Tell me. I‟ll

help however I can.”

She cupped his cheek in her hand. “You can‟t. But I appreciate you

more than you know.”

He sighed and tightened his grip on her, leaning into her until his

forehead pressed against hers. It would be easy enough to slide into bed

with Tyler, see if he could help her forget her overwhelming feelings for

Luc. Alyssa had never played that game before, but she was pretty sure it

would be pointless.

“Baby, you gotta give me something more. I‟m dying here.”

Before she could reply, the restaurant‟s front door slammed. Gasping,

Alyssa whirled, ready to tell the interloper that the restaurant wasn‟t open to

the public until tomorrow night. But it wasn‟t a stranger who stood there. It

was Luc.

He looked furious enough to spit nails.

Tyler‟s preservation instinct must be nonexistent because, instead of

backing off, he tightened his arms around her. She pushed against his

chest and nudged him away. Reluctantly, he let her go, muttering a vile

curse.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Luc asked him.

Crossing his thick arms over his wide chest, Tyler looked pumped up

on fury. “My job. You?”

“Since when is your job trying to get into Alyssa‟s panties?”

“She only wears thongs, actually.”

Alyssa gasped. “Tyler!”

Luc ground his jaw, fists clenched. This situation was headed for the

toilet unless she diffused it.

“Stop it, both of you. Tyler, can you leave us alone for a few minutes?”

“I‟m not budging if there‟s any chance he‟ll hurt you.”

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Spine stiffening, Luc stalked across the room. “I‟d never hurt her. Ever.

You, I‟d pound just for fun.”

“Bring it on, asshole.”

“No more!” Alyssa yelled. “We have things to do today that don‟t

involve you two beating the shit out of each other.” She looked at Tyler,

eyes pleading. “I‟ll be fine. Please . . . You‟d be doing me a big favor if

you‟d pick up my dress from the tailor.”

Tyler clenched his teeth and seethed, ripping his keys from the pocket

of his jeans. “If you need anything, if he harms one hair on your head, call me. You know I‟m here for you.”

She nodded. His devotion nearly brought her to tears. Why couldn‟t

she love him the way he wanted her to love him? Life would be so much

less complicated.

But easy was never her lot.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

He drew closer, his face solemn, communicating both his dedication

and concern. Then he cupped her face in his hands and placed a tender

kiss on her lips. A second later, he was gone.

Now she was completely alone with Luc. The silence was deafening.

“You‟re here early,” she said to break it. “The others have already

done most of the prep work in the kitchen, so you should—”

“Stop it.” He stalked to her, unnervingly close. “When I woke alone, I

worried about you, but you left before the bed was even fucking cold so you

could run to him?”

Alyssa paced across the room. How dared he imagine, after what

they‟d just shared, that she could possibly jump from his arms to Tyler‟s?

Here she was, terrified that she‟d lost her heart to a man who might never

be able to truly love her back, and he imagined she‟d run to another lover.

That alone confirmed that, no matter how intimate last night had seemed,

no matter how much her feelings had grown, his hadn‟t changed. She could

not lose her heart to someone who didn‟t respect her. Someone likely to

leave her in five days and never look back.

“Aren‟t we just fucking?” she challenged.

He stalked after her and grabbed her arm. “Goddamnit, answer my

question.”

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“You think I‟m capable of jumping from your bed to his? That I‟m so

insatiable, what we did last night and this morning wasn‟t enough?”

Luc didn‟t say anything for a long moment, just stared with blazing

eyes. “I don‟t want to think that. God, woman. You singed my skin off. It

was amazing. I looked forward to waking up this morning and having you

again. But you never slept next to me, did you? I rolled over a few minutes

ago, and you were gone. Now I find out now you‟ve been with Tyler for the

last . . .” He glanced at his watch. “Three hours. I walk in, and he‟s holding

you. He kissed you, for fuck‟s sake.”

“A friendly peck!” she argued.

“Friendly, yeah,” Luc grunted. “I‟m sure everything on his mind is

platonic.”

“I don‟t control his thoughts, just mine. What‟s on my mind is platonic,

whether you believe it or not.”

“Give me a reason to believe it.” His dark eyes beseeched her. “You

look exhausted. The first words I hear out of his mouth are a plea for you to

give him more because he‟s dying. Which implies that you were giving him

something in the first place.”

Alyssa closed her eyes. Maybe it was Luc‟s jealousy talking—at least

in part. The other part . . . He was just never going to change his opinion of

her, and no matter how much she cared, how sincere she was in

expressing her feelings, how chaste she was with every other man, he‟d

never believe she was anything but a whore.

“I can stand here in perfect honesty and say that in the last three

months, I‟ve had sex twice, both times with you. Can you say the same?”

Luc paused, swallowed. His dark eyes flashed with guilt. His silent

answer gouged her with pain. Bitterness flooded her mouth.

“Three months ago, I was in a relationship.”

Helping his cousin fuck the man‟s pretty wife. It burned her to know

that Luc had jumped from her bed to Kimber‟s and never looked back until

Deke had cut Luc from the action.

Suddenly, Luc paused, then frowned. “Are you and Tyler . . . dating?”

It didn‟t matter what she told him. He‟d never believe the truth. “Tell

you what—you give me all the details about your relationship with Kimber,

then I‟ll spill my secrets. Deal?”

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His face closed up. “There‟s nothing to tell.”

Alyssa didn‟t have to know the whole story to know he was lying

through his teeth.

“So you didn‟t fuck her after you left my bed?”

Luc closed his eyes, the uneasy tightening of his face making her

insides bleed.

“This isn‟t about what I did or didn‟t do with Kimber.”

“Then why is it about what I did or didn‟t do with Tyler?”

“Three months ago, we didn‟t make any promises or demands,” he

pointed out.

“We didn‟t make any last night, either,” Alyssa flung back at him. “A

night of sex doesn‟t entitle you to the details of my relationship with Tyler.

And after this chat, spending last night with you was a mistake I won‟t be

repeating.”

His eyes flared with fury, and he stomped across the room. “Like hell.

For whatever reason, you went to a lot of trouble to seduce me. Mission

accomplished. Just because last night is over doesn‟t mean we‟re done.”

Luc‟s words were spoken like a vow, and Alyssa‟s insides quivered. As

much as she still wanted him, they couldn‟t continue like this. Even last

night she‟d realized that the longer she stayed in his arms, the more likely

he would break her heart.

For months, she‟d been romanticizing the connection between them.

She wanted him for more than sex. Now she knew beyond all doubt that

the yearning didn‟t run both ways.

“Wrong, Romeo. Last night was great, but you‟re already in another

relationship and I don‟t „fit into your future.‟” She shrugged. “Itch scratched.

Moving on.”

“No way in hell,” he snarled. “Are you saying that you have a new itch,

this one for Tyler? Is that what this morning was about?”

Alyssa got how he might think that. If a man had disappeared so

quickly out of her bed and she‟d found him in another woman‟s arms, even

if it was to be consoled, she‟d be confused and hurt. Despite Luc‟s jealousy

and whatever feeling he had for her, it didn‟t add up to anything lasting.

And if she kept sharing her body with him, she‟d never get her heart back.

Anything less than full reciprocation on his part would crush her.

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“This isn‟t about Tyler. Yes, I spent a lot of effort to seduce you, but

you said when you arrived that sex between us wasn‟t smart. Allow me to

admit that you were right.” She checked her watch. “Misa will be here in

five minutes and she‟ll be expecting direction. The rest of the staff will

arrive in an hour. You‟ll need every minute to prepare. We‟re expecting a

full house tonight.”

A moment later, she heard a car door slam. Tyler was back in record

time. She breezed past Luc, headed for the restaurant‟s front door.

He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close. “Where are you

going?”

She jerked free and lunged for the door. Luc didn‟t want her . . . but he

didn‟t want anyone else to have her. Alyssa refused to play that game.

Hopefully, dishing back some of his own medicine would put some distance

between them.

Smiling tightly, she quipped, “Maybe it is time I let someone else

scratch me.”

THE mock dinner service was winding to a merciful end. The evening

had been flawless. The muggy afternoon had given way to a cooler

evening, and Alyssa had thrown open the doors to the patio, bringing the

outside in. The food had been impeccable, the help she‟d hired perfect. Not

a hint of an undercooked steak or overcooked vegetables. The waitstaff

had been deferential and efficient. Patrons all around smiled—and Bonheur

had secured lots of future reservations.

Professionally, Luc couldn‟t be happier.

Personally, swallowing nails would be less painful than forcing down

the fury inside him.

He stood just outside the kitchen, loitering in the hall, looking for a

certain gorgeous blonde . . . There. She drifted from one table to the next in a graceful sway, her elegant black dress tastefully draping her gorgeous

body. She‟d swept up her hair in something classic and feminine.

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Understated diamonds winked at her ears and her wrist. Sophisticated,

refined. A perfect match for her atmosphere.

And she still gave him a raging erection.

Smiling graciously, Alyssa paused at the next table, visited with

guests, accepted a hug from a couple. Their toddler fisted her hands into

the long sway of Alyssa‟s hair, and she smiled, kissing the little girl‟s

forehead.

The sight of her affectionate gesture jolted Luc. He swallowed down a

sensation he could term only pure longing. God, what an impossible wish.

Just because Alyssa liked that child didn‟t mean she wanted any of her

own. Or would be the sort of dedicated mother his own had been. Besides,

even if she ended up having a huge maternal streak, she wasn‟t what he

needed, and the road to parenthood with him wouldn‟t be easy.

Besides, Tyler was scratching her itch now. And Luc was alone—trying

not to feel the confusion and pain crushing his guts.

A moment later, Alyssa drifted outside, under the external lighting,

pausing to greet an older couple. Not five feet from her, Tyler watched her

unblinkingly.

What had they spent the afternoon doing? If it was what Luc feared,

that was his fault. Had he pushed her away with his accusations and

behavior? Why the hell hadn‟t they just enjoyed their time together and had

a week of uncomplicated sex?

Because nothing between them was uncomplicated. He couldn‟t touch

Alyssa and feel nothing.

That scared the shit out of him.

Someone waving caught his attention, and he looked up to see Kimber

standing with a hesitant smile and an upraised hand.

Pregnant.

Resentment jabbed him. Deke was living the life Luc wanted with a

wonderful wife who would never refuse him her body or tell him that she

had someone else to scratch her itch. She understood Deke‟s hang-ups

and been patient until he learned to overcome them. Alyssa . . . What

would she think if she knew he could not father children? Would she

shrug—or think him less of a man?

With a sigh, Luc made his way over to Kimber and his cousin.

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Deke stood and held out a hand. “Good work. Food was incredible.

You always cooked fine meals when you lived with me, but you outdid

yourself on this.”

“Super delicious,” Kimber added with a dimpled smile.

Luc shook Deke‟s hand, then slipped an arm around Kimber. “Thank

you. And congratulations.”

He forced himself to look at Kimber and mean the words. He was

happy for her. For Deke. Somehow, someway, he‟d find this ideal future for

himself, and maybe he could get over the choking envy.

“Thanks,” she murmured. “We‟re thrilled.”

“As you should be.”

Deke beamed with joy.

“I‟ll do my best to be a very committed uncle and spoil the tyke like

mad.”

Kimber smiled and hugged Luc close. “You‟re such a wonderful

person, I have no doubt you‟ll succeed.”

“Are you done cooking?” Deke asked.

Luc nodded. “The last ticket went out about ten minutes ago.”

“Good. Sit. We‟ve got hardware to discuss.”

“On that note, I‟ll run to the ladies‟ room. I already spent three hours

looking at the equipment on the trip over. Nice stuff. I hope Alyssa will be

okay.”

Without thought, Luc‟s gaze sought the woman in question. She was

winding her way across the patio, the night breeze stirring the pale tendrils

at her neck. Making him ache for her.

But he had to get his mind back on the present.

As if their sex life wasn‟t fucked-up enough, Alyssa had some prick

threatening her. In that respect, Luc was glad Tyler was doing his job so

diligently, even if he didn‟t like that the other man watched her as if she

were dinner and dessert all in one.

Deke looked at him, then Alyssa. He brought his gaze back. “What‟s

up with you two?”

Luc started to evade the question. But he stopped. Avoiding this . . .

thing between him and Alyssa wasn‟t making it go away. And it needed to;

he knew that. Why couldn‟t he work it out?

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“I don‟t know. She‟s . . .” He rubbed his forehead, searching for the

right words. “Under my skin.”

“That guy her bodyguard?” Deke nodded at Tyler.

“Of sorts, yes.”

Deke raised his brows. “He looks like he‟d like to do more to her body

than guard it.”

“I‟m pretty sure Tyler already does.” Why else would she allow him to

kiss her? Have a house key? See her naked? Touch her in public?

Leaning in, Deke stared at Luc long and hard. He swallowed, certain

his cousin could see right through him.

“Unless I miss my guess, you‟ve had an encore performance with

Alyssa recently.”

That obvious? “So?”

“So you don‟t care if she fucks him, too?”

Luc fisted his hands in the tablecloth. He knew it was telling, but hell,

Deke saw through him anyway. “It infuriates the hell out of me. I‟ve had

moments lately where I wanted to break every bone in his miserable body.”

“She‟s more than a fuck to you?” Deke sounded surprised.

As much as Luc wanted to avoid answering the question, he couldn‟t.

In fact, he‟d been asking himself the same thing.

“I don‟t understand it. She‟s everything I don‟t need. Shady profession,

total lack of modesty, so damn independent. Probably multiple lovers,” he

snarled. “I can‟t see her being happy with a rock on her hand, kids in tow,

living in suburbia.”

“But you don‟t know that for a fact?”

“No,” he admitted.

“Let me ask you something. Were you ever jealous watching me in

bed with Kimber?”

Luc paused. But the answer was easy. “No. Though you two had a

bond, for a long time I felt completely involved in the relationship.”

“I couldn‟t stand watching you touch her,” Deke admitted. “Every time

you did, I thought it was going to fucking kill me. How is that different from

how you feel about Alyssa being with Tyler?”

“I knew you weren‟t going to hurt Kimber,” Luc hedged.

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But did he really believe that Tyler would hurt Alyssa when he was

trying so hard to guard her?

“Okay, forget this guy. What about Jack Cole? If Morgan was out of

the picture, would you share Alyssa with Jack? He‟s a stand-up guy, and

I‟m pretty sure it wouldn‟t be the first time he‟d had sex with her. Sure, it‟s

been a few years—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Luc growled.

The image of Jack Cole unleashing his chains and cuffs and

commands on Alyssa was like running his guts through a meat grinder.

Truth was, he didn‟t want anyone else touching her.

“Okay.” Deke held up his hands. “But take my word for it. When you‟ve

got feelings for a woman, jealousy comes with the territory.” He stood as

his wife approached. “Especially when the woman is beautiful. Everything

okay?”

“Great.” Then she frowned at Luc. “You all right?”

No. Leave it to Deke to throw the fact he felt more than lust for Alyssa

in his face. What the hell was he supposed to do about it?

“Fine.” He did his best to sound sincere . . . and knew he fell short of

the mark.

“I have my next doctor appointment in a few weeks, and Deke will be

out of town. Can you take me?” Kimber asked. “How much longer will you

be here?”

A pity invitation, and he was desperate enough to grab it. Any small

involvement with Deke and Kimber‟s baby was likely more than he‟d ever

have for himself, especially if he kept ignoring Emily and chasing Alyssa

like a schmuck.

Bless Kimber for caring how he felt. He brought her close for a long

hug. “I‟d love to. I‟m only here until Thursday.”

“Oh, just a few days, then.” She smiled. “That‟s great!”

Deke clapped him on the back and sent him a meaningful stare. “Make

the most of them.”

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JUST after midnight, Alyssa shut the doors to Bonheur. A weight lifted

from her shoulders. The evening had been a huge success, and everyone

who‟d come tonight said the food and service were spectacular. All wanted

to come back, and she finally believed she had a future comprised of more

than taking off her clothes for strangers. The evening really couldn‟t have

gone better.

Except watching Luc with Deke and Kimber.

To say that the sexy chef still had feelings for his cousin‟s beautiful

wife would be stating the obvious. He‟d hugged her, looked into her eyes.

The moment hadn‟t seemed sexual, but they were in public. And Deke

supposedly didn‟t share anymore. Still, the embrace had unnerved Alyssa.

Was the other woman the reason Luc couldn‟t give more of himself to her?

“You ready to go?” Tyler asked, hovering near her as he had all night.

“I‟ll take her home,” Luc said, appearing behind her.

“It‟s my job.” Tyler crossed his arms and donned his badass mien as

tightly as he would leather pants.

Luc ignored him. Instead, he turned to her, face solemn. “I‟d like to

take you home. We should talk.” She hesitated, and he pressed. “Please.”

What did he want? If she went, she risked further heartbreak. But if

she refused him, she‟d never know. What if he wanted to renew their earlier

argument? Or just have sex again. She winced.

“All right.” She avoided looking at Tyler. “I packed up your things.

They‟re in my foyer. Homer is expecting you.”

At that, Tyler smiled. She also read the hurt on Luc‟s face. For her

sanity, she had to sideline him to Homer‟s, but she should have done it

when they were alone.

“Fine,” he bit out.

Telling her that it wasn‟t fine at all.

“You sure you want to ride with him?” Tyler asked, clearly looking for

any reason to get one up on Luc. “I can follow you, make sure he doesn‟t

give you any issues.”

She leveled him with a no-nonsense stare. “He‟s a chef, not a serial

rapist. I‟ll be all right. We‟ll talk tomorrow.”

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Scowling, Tyler drifted closer, reaching for her. Luc was faster and

closer, wrapping his arm around her waist. She ignored Tyler‟s not-so-silent

curse.

Outside, she locked the restaurant‟s door and let Luc lead her to his

SUV. His touch lingered at her waist, and she tried not to notice her

quivering knees.

Once they were on the road and the beautiful night air sifted through

her hair, she turned to Luc. “Spill it. What did you want to talk about?”

“Everything.”

Alyssa had this niggling suspicion that Luc was going to try to talk his

way back in her bed. And where he was concerned, she was so, so weak.

Though she should give him brownie points for facing the conversation

head-on, she really didn‟t know what to say that wouldn‟t lead to her

admitting she had deep feelings for him and them undressed and entwined.

“I‟m exhausted, and it‟s late,” she begged off. “Can‟t it wait until

tomorrow?”

“It shouldn‟t take me more than a few minutes to apologize.”

She whipped her gaze around to him—and didn‟t say a word.

He swallowed, his long, dark hair whipping around in the night wind.

He looked gorgeous, so capable and sensitive. She fell for him a bit more.

“Don‟t look shocked, please. I‟ve had a few hours to think about what

happened earlier. I was wrong to jump down your throat about your leaving

this morning to be with Tyler. It‟s none of my business. You have a lot on

your mind, and he works for you . . .” Luc shrugged. “I won‟t lie and say I

like the way he looks at you. I have no doubt his thoughts are totally

unprofessional. I also won‟t lie and say the thought of you with him doesn‟t

make me crazy.” Luc gripped the steering wheel tighter. “But that‟s

between the two of you, and I have no right to interfere.”

So he was past the anger and knew he‟d pissed her off, and

accordingly wheeled out an apology. But . . . “In other words, it‟s none of

your business if I fuck Tyler, but you still think I am and will try not to growl

at me about it?”

“It doesn‟t matter what I think. It‟s your life, and I have no right to tell

you how to live it. I have four days and some change left here. I‟d rather

spend the time enjoying you than fighting with you.”

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“So let‟s put all the emotion behind us so we can fuck like rabbits for

four days?”

God, why didn‟t he just slap her in the face instead of slowly stabbing

her in the heart?

“I meant that you‟re right. I haven‟t been a monk since we first got

together, and it‟s wrong of me to expect that you have no other life. I don‟t

know whether you and Tyler have something going. I‟m not passing

judgment. All I‟m saying is that I‟d rather spend time with you, whatever we

choose to do, than argue.” He sighed, and shot an enigmatic dark stare at

her. “You‟re a fascinating woman. I want to know you more.”

Good guy or player? That was the problem. She didn‟t know Luc deep

down. Either he was genuinely apologizing for allowing his misplaced

jealousy to get the better of him or he was saying what he thought she

wanted to hear, hoping that she‟d be motivated to shed her clothes and

spread her legs. Either way, he‟d said nothing emotional . . . but this was

the first time he‟d pursued her. Could it lead somewhere?

“What I really wanted to hear was that you believed I didn‟t have sex

with Tyler today.”

Luc shrugged. “You don‟t owe me explanations.”

“I don‟t,” she agreed. “But I want to know what you really think.”

It was probably pointless, but she couldn‟t stand him thinking she was

the kind of woman who slept around.

He paused, seemingly lost in his thoughts, sorting through them.

“You‟re too dedicated to your future to fuck away the afternoon the day

your happiness opens its doors.”

Tears hit her instantly. He got it. He got her! It was a start.

Alyssa bit her lip to hold it in. Damn exhaustion was making her

weepy, and the shit had to stop.

She took a deep breath to compose herself. “Exactly.”

“I‟m sorry I put extra stress on you.”

“I‟m sorry I disappeared this morning. I should have left a note or

something, explaining . . .”

What? That she‟d been too overwhelmed by their time together and

had lost her heart?

“That you were too keyed up?” he guessed.

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It was as good an excuse as any. She nodded.

“I understand.” He slanted a concerned frown to her. “Did you get any

dinner?”

She sorted through her evening‟s events, then shook her head.

“Lunch?”

No, she‟d been too busy making sure her appearance tonight was

perfect to worry about food. “I skipped it.”

“Breakfast?” He sounded incredulous.

Alyssa winced. She‟d been curled up on her bed at Sexy Sirens, crying

her eyes out.

“Damn it! You‟re not taking care of yourself. Did you sleep at all

today?”

Because Lord knew Luc had made certain she didn‟t get any sleep last

night.

Again, she shook her head.

A moment later, they pulled up in front of her house. He hopped out

and rushed around his SUV to get her door.

Now that she‟d been still for a bit, weariness crept up on her, and she

stumbled out of the vehicle—into his arms. He brought her close, and she

allowed herself to feel safety and warmth, pretend that she really mattered

to him.

“That‟s it.” He sounded fed up. “I know you‟re eager to throw me out,

but you have to let me in to take care of you.”

If she did that, she‟d wind up naked with him again, letting him deep

inside her body, deeper inside her heart.

“Luc . . .”

“You‟re not talking me out of it. Keys?” He held out his hand.

Alyssa wavered. How nice would it be to let Luc take care of her for a

few minutes? She was always in charge of everything—had been since the

day she left home. Right now, giving over her responsibility to him sounded

like a ridiculously wonderful fantasy.

Fearing she would regret the decision but too tempted to care, she

dropped her keys in Luc‟s palm.

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