CHAPTER 6
Maria
I knew you’d like him!” Serena crowed. “Was I right or what?”
It was Sunday morning, and as usual, Maria was with her sister on the back porch while their mom was finishing up breakfast. Their father was walking Copo, who was fluffed and clean, with a pink bow near her ear.
“I didn’t say I liked him,” Maria answered. “I said he was interesting.”
“But you also said you’re meeting him today. In your bikini.”
“I’m not going to be wearing my bikini while I’m paddleboarding.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not you, okay? It would make me uncomfortable.”
“Well, you better show some skin, because believe me, you’re going to want him to take his shirt off. The whole sneaking-a-peek thing needs to work both ways.”
“I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”
“You’re right. You should probably wear some baggy sweats or something like that. And no matter how you’re dressed, I’m just glad you’re finally going on a date.”
“Don’t try to make this into something that it isn’t. It’s not a date. We’re just going paddleboarding.”
“Uh-huh.” Serena nodded. “Whatever you say.”
“I don’t know why I even try to talk to you about these things.”
“You talk to me because you know I’ll tell you the truth. Which is why, of course, the two of you hit it off so well. Because Colin is just like me.”
“Yes, of course. You’re right. I’m essentially going out with my younger sister.”
“Don’t blame me. I’m not the one who followed him out to the pier.”
“I didn’t follow him out to the pier!”
Serena giggled. “You’re so touchy these days. But if you want my advice, I’d wear a bikini under the baggy sweats, okay? Just in case it gets too hot out there. Because it’s going to be warm today.”
“Can we talk about you instead? Like how the rest of your evening went?”
“There’s not much to tell. We hit the bars, went to a party. Just a typical Saturday night.”
“How’s it going with Steve?”
“He’s a little clingy, and I’m not sure I’m ready for something like that. But back to Colin again. He’s seriously hot.”
“Yes, I noticed.”
“Did he try to kiss you good-bye?”
“No. And I didn’t want him to.”
“That’s good,” she said, “keep playing hard to get. Guys like that.” Maria made a face and Serena giggled again. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. I think it’s great, though. You not only have a date—a real date, no matter how you describe it—but you’re the one who asked him. You’re the epitome of the modern woman. And just so you know, I’m totally jealous that you’re going to get to see him with his shirt off. I don’t think he has an ounce of fat on him.”
“I really couldn’t tell you. It was kind of dark and he was walking beside me.”
“I want pictures today. You always bring that camera with you anyway. Just sneak a few of him.”
“No.”
“I would think that you could do at least this one little thing for your baby sister, who also happens to be the one to set you up with him.”
She thought about it. “Okay, maybe.”
“Awesome. Or better yet, take some with your phone and send them to me and I’ll put them on Instagram.”
“Not a chance.”
“Are you sure? I’d hate to have to tell Dad you’re going out with an ex-con who’s currently on probation.”
“Don’t you dare!”
“I was kidding! I don’t even want to be in the same state when you drop that little bombshell. So warn me in advance, okay?”
“Will do.”
“Still, you should get a selfie with him at the very least. Before the announcement. That way, you’ll know you actually went out with him, since it’ll never happen again after that.”
“Are you done?”
Serena giggled. “Yes. Now I’m done.”
Maria noticed a hummingbird sipping from the feeder her mother had hung, hovering in a way that had mesmerized her since she was a young girl. From inside, she could hear her mother quietly singing to herself, and while the aroma of eggs and refried beans should have been making her hungry, she was already a little nervous about the upcoming afternoon. She wondered how much she’d actually be able to eat.
“I’m still kind of surprised at the way he just… told you everything,” Serena finally offered.
“Had you been there, you would have been in shock. Trust me.”
“It’s weird, though. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like that before.”
“You’re telling me.”
Two hours later, Maria was at home, debating what to wear. Serena’s advice sounded in her ear, making the decision a lot more difficult than it should have been. Normally she wouldn’t think twice about it; she’d wear shorts and either a halter or a bikini top, and she certainly wouldn’t have showered beforehand or put on makeup or felt the clawing pangs of nervousness in her belly, but there they were. Standing in front of her chest of drawers, she debated what kind of impression she wanted to make. Bold? Casual? Sexy?
It was a whole lot easier for men, she decided: Throw on a T-shirt, flip-flops, and shorts and head out the door. Meanwhile, she had to debate the length of her shorts, and decide how tight or faded she wanted them to be, or whether she should wear the ones with the sexy tears below the back pockets or go a bit more conservative. And that was just the bottoms; trying to decide on her top was even more difficult, especially since she hadn’t decided whether to wear the bikini or a one-piece underneath. Despite what she’d said to Serena, it was a date, and aside from the fiasco last weekend with Jill and Paul, she hadn’t been on a lot of dates recently. Add in the fact that her thoughts had been drifting to Colin all morning and last night, and the whole thing left her feeling more jittery than ever.
What did she want with him, anyway? Colin was the kind of guy she used to prosecute. Until yesterday, had anyone even suggested that she go out with a guy with his past, she would have laughed aloud or—more likely—been offended. She should have simply said good-bye after he’d walked her to her car last night. The very idea of the two of them going out today was absurd, and yet… she had asked him, and she had trouble remembering exactly how that had happened or what she’d been thinking.
And yet, Colin was… magnetic. It was the word that had popped into her head while she was taking a shower, and the more she’d thought about it, the more apt the description seemed. While his answers had left her spinning at times, she had to admit that his here’s the real me and you can either accept me or not shtick was refreshing. More than that, she sensed that his regret had been real, underscoring how much he really had changed. She wasn’t naïve enough to ignore the possibility that he may have been trying to play on her sympathies, but it was impossible to reconcile that notion with the guy who’d changed her tire, or walked the beach with her, or attended classes with her sister in the hopes of becoming a teacher. He certainly hadn’t tried to hit on her, and had she not asked him to go paddleboarding, she had no doubt he would have left her at her car without further ado.
She had to admit that she appreciated the fact that he had been so open and honest about his past. If he’d waited until today to reveal those surprises, she would have felt manipulated and angry, maybe even frightened. The chemistry she’d initially felt with him would have been doused almost instantly, leaving her wondering what else he’d been lying about. No one likes a bait and switch.
Truthfully, she didn’t know a lot of people who’d turned their lives in an entirely new direction, like Colin had. And though she had no idea where today might lead—or even whether it was a beginning of sorts—she finally thought, Oh, what the hell? and put on her black bikini, then chose the sexy tight jean shorts with the tears below the pockets. Last, she pulled on a formfitting shirt with a plunging neckline. Serena, after all, had been right about something else. If Colin took off his shirt—and that, she had to admit, wouldn’t bother her in the slightest—then at the very least, she should have the option of doing the same.
Colin was leaning against the side of his car as she pulled in behind him, and when he waved, all she could do was stare. He wore a gray T-shirt that clung from his sculpted shoulders all the way down to his narrow waist. The sleeves could barely contain his well-defined arms, and even from a distance, the deep blue-gray color of his eyes was visible, set off by his sharp cheekbones. As improbable as it seemed, her first thought was that he was getting more handsome by the day. When he pushed away from the car and smiled, she felt something jump inside her while a little voice whispered, If I’m not careful, I could get in serious trouble with this guy.
Forcing the thought away, she waved from inside the car, then took a deep breath as she shut the engine down. When she opened the door, the heat assailed her almost immediately. Thankfully, the humidity was minimal and a slight breeze stirred the air, making it a bit more bearable.
“Hey there,” she called out. “You’re right on time.”
She saw that he had brought a backpack, a small cooler, and a pair of towels. He leaned over, picking up the backpack and flinging it over his shoulder. “I got here early,” he said. “I wasn’t sure that I was parking in the right place. There aren’t any other cars around.”
“It’s always quieter on the tip of the island,” she said. “People don’t like to feed the meters, which is good, since it means we don’t have so far to walk.” She shaded her eyes. “How did sparring go?”
“It was a little more intense than usual, but no bruising or broken noses.”
“I can tell,” she said with a smile. “How about the other guys? You didn’t hurt them, did you?”
“They’re fine.” He squinted into the glare. “Your turn. How was brunch with your family?”
“No broken noses or bruising, either,” she teased, and when she heard him laugh, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, reminding herself not to get too carried away. “On a more serious note, though, I should probably warn you that I told Serena we were going out on the water today. In case she hunts you down after class and asks you for lots of personal details.”
“Will she do that?”
For sure, Maria thought. “Probably.”
“Why doesn’t she ask you?”
“I’m sure she’ll be calling me later. She considers it her duty to be heavily involved in my personal life.”
“Okay.” He grinned. “You look beautiful, by the way.”
She felt a flash of heat in her cheeks. “Thank you,” she said. Then, trying to keep things light, she added, “You ready for today?”
“I can’t wait.”
“We’re lucky there isn’t a lot of wind. The water should be perfect.”
She began to unhook one of the straps that held the paddleboards in place on the roof rack. Noting what she was doing, he stepped close to help her unhook the other straps. The muscles in his forearms moved like piano strings, making his tattoo ripple as the two of them worked side by side. He smelled like salt and wind, clean and fresh. He lifted the top board off, leaning it against the car before doing the same with the other, propping the two against each other.
“How’s your balance on the board?” he asked.
“Pretty good. Why?”
“Because I packed a small cooler,” he said, gesturing at it behind him. “I was wondering if you’d be able to put it on your board. I’m not sure my balance will be good enough at first.”
“It’s not that hard,” she said. “You’ll get the hang of it. But to answer your question, yes, I can put the cooler on my board, and actually, that’s perfect, since it will give me a place to put the towels. I hate wet towels.”
Opening her door, she reached for both her camera and the carrier straps for the boards, consciously trying not to stare at him. She laid out the carrier straps, then hooked them to the boards, knowing Colin was watching her and liking the way it made her feel. When she was finished, he grabbed his backpack and both boards. Maria picked up the towels and cooler as they started toward the point. “What’s in the cooler, by the way?” she asked.
“Snacks, basically. Fruit, some nuts, a couple bottles of water.”
“Healthy,” she commented.
“I’m pretty strict about what I eat.”
“And the backpack?”
“A Frisbee, a Hacky Sack, and sunscreen. If we hit the beach or whatever.”
“I’m not very good at Frisbee. And just so you know, I’ve never touched a Hacky Sack in my life.”
“Then we’ll both be trying something new today.”
On the beach, the sand glowed almost white in the sunlight. Aside from a man tossing a ball to his golden retriever in the waves, the beach at this end of the island was deserted. Maria raised the cooler in the direction of the inlet. “That’s Masonboro Island,” she said.
“Until you mentioned it last night, I’d never heard of it.”
“It’s rustic. There are no roads or picnic areas. In the summers, a lot of boaters go there, but lately, I’ve had the place to myself. It’s quiet and beautiful, and it’s a great way to kick off my week, especially one like this one. My partner has a trial later this week, and I’ll probably be working late every night to make sure he has everything he needs. I’ll head in earlier than usual, too.”
“That’s a lot of hours.”
“Gotta get ahead, you know,” she cracked.
“Why?”
“If I don’t do my job, I’ll get fired.”
“I wasn’t asking about doing your job well. I understand that. I was just wondering why it’s important to you to get ahead.”
Maria frowned, realizing that he was the first person who’d ever asked her the question and she was at a loss. “I don’t know,” she finally answered. “I guess I’m just wired that way. Either that, or it was all my parents’ fault. Isn’t that what people say in therapy?”
“Sometimes. And sometimes it’s even true.”
“Don’t you want to get ahead?”
“I’m not sure what getting ahead even means,” he said. “Bigger house? Better cars? More exotic vacations? My parents have all those things, but I don’t get the sense that either of them is really happy. There’s always something more out there, but where does it end? I don’t want to live like that.”
“How do you want to live?”
“I want balance. Work is important because I have to support myself, but so are friends, health, rest. Having the time to do things that I enjoy, and sometimes doing nothing at all.”
The cooler thumped gently against her leg. “That’s very… sensible.”
“Okay.”
She smiled. I could have predicted he was going to say that. “You’re right, of course. Balance is important, but I’ve always liked the feeling of succeeding at something difficult, whether it was grades when I was a little girl or a well-written brief now. Setting goals and then reaching them makes me feel like I’m not just going through the motions of life. And in the end, if I do it well enough, other people notice, and I get rewarded. I like that, too.”
“That makes sense.”
“But not for you?”
“We’re different.”
“Don’t you set goals, too? Like finishing college or winning a fight?”
“Yes.”
“Then how are we different?”
“Because I don’t care about getting ahead. And I generally don’t give a lot of thought to the way other people define it.”
“And you think I do?”
“Yes.”
“Care to elaborate?”
He took a couple of steps before answering. “I think you care deeply about the way you come across to other people, but to me, that’s a mistake. In the end, the only one you can ever really please is yourself. How others feel is up to them.”
She pressed her lips together, knowing he was right but still a little taken aback that he’d simply… say it. Then again, he was forthright about everything else, so why should she be surprised?
“Did you learn that in therapy?”
“Yes. But it took a long time to embrace it.”
“Maybe I should talk to your therapist.”
“Maybe,” he agreed, and she laughed.
“Well, just so you know, it’s not all me. The fact that I need so much external validation is my parents’ fault.”
When he arched a skeptical eyebrow, she nudged his shoulder playfully, the gesture strangely natural. “I’m being serious about this. I might have been born with drive or ambition or whatever you want to call it, but they definitely nurtured it. Neither one of my parents went to school past the eighth grade, and they had to sacrifice for years before they could start the restaurant. They had to learn a new language and accounting and a thousand other things from scratch when they were adults, so to them, a good education was everything. I grew up speaking Spanish at home, so right from the start, I had to work harder than the other kids because I didn’t understand anything the teacher was saying. Even though my parents were both working fifteen-hour days, they never missed a meeting with my teachers, and they made sure I always did my homework. When I started to bring home good grades, they were just so proud. They’d invite my aunts and uncles and cousins over on the weekend—I’ve got a ton of relatives in town—and they’d pass around my report card, going on and on about what a good student I was. I was the center of attention and I liked the way it made me feel, so I began to work even harder. I’d sit in the front row and raise my hand whenever the teacher asked a question, and I’d stay up until the middle of the night studying for tests. As a result, I was pretty much a total nerd all the way through high school.”
“Yeah?” He wore that amused expression again.
“Uh… yeah,” she said sheepishly. “I got glasses when I was eight, these brown-rimmed monstrosities, and I had braces for three years. I was shy and gawky and I actually liked to study. I didn’t go to a prom until I was a senior, and even then, I went with a group of other girls who didn’t have dates, either. I never kissed a boy until the month before I started college. Trust me, I know what a nerd is, and I was one of them.”
“And now?”
“I’m still kind of a nerd. I work too much, I don’t visit my friends as often as I should, and I don’t really do anything on the weekends except paddleboard and spend time with my family. On Friday nights, you can usually find me reading in bed.”
“That doesn’t make you a nerd. I don’t go out much anymore, either. If I’m not working out or competing, I’m usually listening to some tunes or studying or hanging with Evan and Lily at the house.”
“Lily?”
“Evan’s fiancée.”
“What’s she like?”
“Blond. About the same size as you. Terrific personality. And very, very Southern. She’s from Charleston.”
“How about Evan? Is he anything like you?”
“He’s more like you, actually. He’s got his act together.”
“You think I have my act together?”
“Yes.”
“Then why doesn’t it feel that way?”
“I have no idea,” he answered. “But I think most people would say the same thing about you as I did.”
She squinted over at him, liking what he’d said. By then, they had reached the shoreline, and she slipped off her sandals, focusing on the water. “Okay, this is good,” she declared. “The tide’s going in, which makes it easier. If it were going out, we’d have to launch from down there,” she said, pointing over his shoulder. “You ready?”
“Almost,” he said. He put the boards down and shrugged off the backpack, storing his flip-flops and removing a bottle of sunscreen. He pulled off his shirt, tucking it away in the backpack as well, and her first thought was that he looked almost sculpted. His chest and stomach were a landscape of contours and ridges, every muscle sharply defined. On his chest, a colorful dragon tattoo wound its way over one shoulder, intertwining artfully with a Chinese character. He stared toward the water as he began to apply the lotion. “It’s gorgeous out here,” he observed.
“I agree,” she said, trying not to ogle.
He squeezed some more sunscreen into his hand before offering her the bottle. “Do you want some?”
“Maybe later. I put some on earlier, but I don’t generally burn. Latin skin, you know.”
He nodded, slathering some on the fronts of his legs and then turning around. “Would you mind putting some on my back?”
She nodded, her mouth going slightly dry. “Sure.”
Their fingers brushed as she took the lotion. She squeezed a dab into her hands and slowly ran her hands over his back, feeling the interplay of muscles and skin, trying to ignore the strange intimacy of what she was doing. Serena was going to love hearing about this.
“Will we see any dolphins or porpoises?” he asked, seemingly oblivious to her thoughts.
Running her hands over the cords in his back, it took her a moment to answer. “I doubt it. At this time of day, they’re usually on the ocean side.” Then, feeling a pang of disappointment, she finished and closed the cap. “All right, you’re done.”
“Thanks,” he said, putting the sunscreen away. “What’s next?”
“We’re almost ready.” She unhooked the carrier straps and handed them to Colin to store in his backpack as she grabbed the smaller of the two boards. “Can you follow me out with the cooler and towels? I’ll show you how to get up.”
She waded into the ocean with her board, and when she was a bit more than knee-deep, she lay down on it, pulling herself along its length until she was centered. She set the oar perpendicular to the board, then held it fast as she first went to her knees, and then finally stood. “Ta-da… And that’s all there is to it. The key is to find your sweet spot, where neither the nose nor the tail is underwater. And then, keep your knees bent—it’ll help keep you upright.”
“Got it.”
“You can put the cooler behind me, and then stack the towels on. And would you hand me my camera?”
He waded into the water, following her instructions. She draped the camera strap around her neck as he retrieved his own board and repeated her movements. When he was standing, he shifted his weight, the board wobbling slightly.
“It’s more stable than I thought it would be,” he remarked.
“Now when you turn, you can either paddle forward for a wide, slow turn, or you can paddle backward for a tighter turn.” She demonstrated the first, then the second, rotating in place, moving a bit farther from shore in the process. “You ready?”
“Let’s go,” he said. Within a few strokes he’d caught up to her, and they began to paddle side by side until they reached the fertile, still waters of the marsh. Above them, the blue sky was limned with thin cirrus clouds. Discreetly, she watched Colin taking in everything, his gaze lingering on the brown pelicans and the snowy egrets, or an osprey that passed overhead. He didn’t seem to feel the need to break the silence, and she thought again that she’d never met anyone like him.
As her thoughts continued to drift, she turned her attention to the island, noting the gnarled remnants of tree stumps, gray and salt-coated, their roots twisting like frayed yarn on a loosely twined ball. Curving pathways cut through the saw-grass-speckled dunes, shortcuts to the ocean side of the island, and driftwood, stained black from the marsh, collected at the water’s edge.
“You’re thinking about something,” she heard him say. Without her noticing it, Colin had moved his board closer to hers.
“Just how much I love being out here.”
“Do you come out every weekend?”
“Most weekends,” she said, keeping her strokes steady. “Unless it’s raining or the wind is gusting. Strong winds make it feel like you’re not getting anywhere, and the water can get kind of choppy. I made that mistake once when I brought Serena out here. She lasted about twenty minutes before she insisted on heading back, and she hasn’t come out ever since. When it comes to the ocean, she’s more of the lay-out-in-the-sun or relax-in-the-back-of-the-boat type of girl. Even though we’re close, we’re not that much alike.”
The curiosity in the way he watched and listened urged her on, and Maria drew her paddle through the water. “Serena has always been more outgoing and popular than I ever was. She’s had one boyfriend after the next and has a zillion friends. Her phone never stops ringing, people always want to spend time with her. It wasn’t like that for me. I was always quieter, shyer I guess, and I grew up feeling like I never really fit in.”
“You don’t seem shy to me.”
“No?” she asked. “How do I seem to you?”
He cocked his head. “Thoughtful. Intelligent. Empathetic. Beautiful.”
The certainty with which he spoke—like he’d reviewed the list beforehand—made her feel suddenly self-conscious. “Thank you,” she murmured. “That was… sweet.”
“I’m sure you’ve heard it before.”
“Not really.”
“Then you’re hanging out with the wrong people.”
She adjusted her feet on the board, trying to mask how flattered and flustered she felt. “So no girlfriend for you?”
“No,” he answered. “I wasn’t really boyfriend material for a while there, and lately I’ve been pretty busy. You?”
“Still single,” she said. “I had a serious boyfriend when I was in college, but it didn’t work out. And lately I’ve had a tendency to attract the wrong kind of men.”
“Like me?”
She gave a sheepish grin. “I wasn’t thinking of you when I said that. I was thinking about the managing partner at my firm. Who happens to be married and has a family. He’s been hitting on me and it’s been making work pretty stressful.”
“I can imagine.”
“But you don’t have any advice for me, right? Since you don’t give advice?”
“No.”
“You do realize that having a conversation with you takes some getting used to, right? Serena, for instance, always has loads of advice.”
“Is it helpful?”
“Not really.”
His expression said she’d just proved his point. “What happened with your boyfriend?”
“There’s not much to say. We’d been going out for a couple of years and it felt to me like we were moving toward something more serious.”
“Marriage?”
She nodded. “I thought so. But then, he decided that I wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted someone else.”
“That had to be rough.”
“At the time, it was devastating,” she agreed.
“And no boyfriends since then?”
“Not really. I’ve dated a few guys, but nothing ever really materialized.” She paused, remembering. “I’d go dancing with my girlfriends at this salsa club in Charlotte, but most of the guys I ended up meeting wanted only one thing. To me, sleeping with someone is an outgrowth of a commitment, and a lot of guys just want a fling or whatever.”
“That’s their problem.”
“I know. But…” She tried to think of the best way to phrase it. “It’s hard sometimes. Maybe it’s because my parents are so happy and make it seem so easy, but I’ve always assumed that I’d be able to find the perfect guy without having to settle. And growing up, I had all these plans… I just knew that by now, at my age, I’d be married and we’d live in a restored Victorian and we’d be talking about kids. But those things seem further away now than they did when I was a little girl. They seem further away than they did even a couple of years ago.”
When he didn’t respond, she shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m telling you all this.”
“I’m interested.”
“Sure you are,” she said, dismissing his comment. “It sounds boring, even to me.”
“It’s not boring,” he countered. “It’s your story and I like hearing it.” He let that sit before abruptly changing the subject. “Salsa dancing, huh?”
“That’s what you heard? In everything I said?” When he shrugged, she went on, wondering why it seemed so easy to talk to him. “I used to go almost every weekend.”
“But you don’t go anymore?”
“Not since I’ve moved back. They don’t have any clubs here. Not officially, anyway. Serena tried to drag me to this one place and I thought about it, but I begged off at the last minute.”
“It sounds like it might have been fun.”
“Maybe. But it’s not even a real club. It’s in this abandoned warehouse, and I’m pretty sure the whole setup is illegal.”
“Sometimes those are the best places to go.”
“I assume you’re speaking from experience?”
“Yes.”
She smiled. “Do you know anything about salsa dancing?”
“Is it like the tango?”
“Not really. The tango is kind of like ballroom dancing, where you move around the room. Salsa dancing is more of a party dance with lots of spinning and changing hands, and you stay in one place on the floor. It’s a great way to spend a couple of hours with friends, especially if your partner is good. It was the only time I felt like I could really let go and be myself.”
“Aren’t you being yourself right now?”
“Of course,” she answered. “But this is definitely the quieter version of me, the more typical one.” She raised the oar overhead to stretch for a moment, then dipped the tip into the water again. “I have a question,” she said. “And I’ve been wondering about it since you mentioned it.” When he turned toward her, she went on. “Why do you want to teach the third grade? I’d think that most guys would want to teach at the high school level.”
He pulled his oar through the water.
“Because at that age, kids are old enough to understand most everything an adult tells them, but still young enough to believe that adults tell the truth. It’s also the year when behavior problems begin to really manifest. Taken together with all the testing the state requires, third grade is just a critical year.”
They glided on water almost as still as glass. “And?” she asked.
“And what?”
“You said the same thing to me last night. When you thought I wasn’t telling you the whole story. So I’ll ask you again—what’s the real reason you want to teach the third grade?”
“Because it was my last good year in school,” he said. “Until a couple of years ago, in fact, it was my last good year, period. And it was all because of Mr. Morris. He was a retired army officer who got into teaching later in life, and he knew exactly what I needed. Not the mindless discipline I had later in military school, but a specific plan just for me. He didn’t take any crap in class from the very beginning, and as soon as I began acting up, he told me that I’d have to stay after school. I thought I’d just sit in the classroom with a book or he’d have me clean up or whatever, but instead he had me run laps around the lower school and do push-ups every time I passed him. And the whole time, he kept telling me that I was doing great, that I was really fast or strong or whatever, so it didn’t feel like punishment. He did the same thing at recess the next day, and then he asked if I could start showing up early every day because it was clear that I had a gift for running. That I was stronger than the other kids. Better than the other kids. Looking back, I know he was doing it because of my ADHD and other emotional crap, and that all he really wanted to do was burn off my excess energy so that I could sit still in class.”
His voice grew softer as he went on. “But back then, it was the first time I could ever remember being praised, and after that, all I wanted to do was make him even more proud of me. I buckled down and school started to get easier for me. I caught up in reading and math, and I was better behaved at home, too. Fast forward a year to Mrs. Crandall’s class, and all that went right out the window. She was mean and angry and she hated boys, and I went back to being the troubled kid I used to be. After that, my parents shipped me off, and you already know the rest of that story.”
He let out a long breath before facing her. “That’s why I want to teach the third grade. Because maybe, just maybe, I’ll come across a kid like me and I’ll know exactly what to do. And in the long run, I know how much that single year might mean to that kid. Because without Mr. Morris so long ago, I would never have considered going back to college now and becoming a teacher.”
While Colin spoke, Maria kept her gaze fixed on him. “I know I shouldn’t be surprised, considering everything else you’ve told me,” she said. “But I am.”
“Because?”
“It’s inspiring. Why you want to become a teacher, I mean. I don’t have any stories like that. Half the time, I’m not even sure why I became a lawyer in the first place. It just kind of happened.”
“How so?”
“When I first got to college, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I thought about business school or getting a master’s and I even debated whether or not to go to medical school. It was hard enough just to pick a major, and even in my junior year, I still had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. My roommate, on the other hand, was set on going to law school, and I sort of convinced myself that the idea was a lot more glamorous than it really is. The next thing I knew, I was applying to law school, and three years later, I had a job lined up with the DA and was studying for the bar. And now, here I am. Don’t get me wrong—I’m good at what I do, but sometimes it’s hard for me to imagine that I’ll be doing it the rest of my life.”
“Who says you have to?”
“I can’t just throw my education away. Or the past four years. What would I do?”
He scratched at his jaw. “I think,” he finally said, “you can do whatever you want. In the end, we all live the life we choose for ourselves.”
“What do your parents think about you being back in school?”
“I think they’re still wondering whether I’ve really changed, or whether I’ll revert to being the guy I used to be.”
She smiled, liking that he said what he thought without worrying what she might think.
“I don’t know why, but it’s hard for me to imagine the other Colin, the one you used to be.”
“You wouldn’t have liked him much.”
“Probably not,” she said. “And he probably wouldn’t have stopped to change my tire, either.”
“Definitely not,” he agreed.
“What else should I know about the new Colin?” she asked, and her question gradually gave way to a meandering conversation about growing up in Raleigh and a bit more about his friendship with Evan and Lily. He told her about his parents and his older sisters, and what it had been like to grow up under the care of various nannies. He talked about the early fights he’d been in, the schools he’d attended, and offered more details about the years following high school, although he admitted that they’d largely blurred together. He talked about MMA, and when pressed, he recounted a few of his fights, including the most recent one with the marine, which had left him bruised and bloody. While many of the stories he told her underscored the rough edges of his past, they were of a piece with what she already knew.
As they talked, the tide began to roll in, propelling them forward side by side. The sun gradually bowed toward the horizon, the water beginning to gleam like old pennies. The thin cloud cover softened the glare and began to change colors—pinks and oranges and magentas.
“Would you like to check out the beach?” she finally asked. He nodded, and as they began paddling toward shore, Maria spotted the sleek, dark backs of three porpoises slowly approaching. They arced through the water, and when she pointed them out, Colin broke into a boyish grin. In unspoken agreement, they stopped paddling, allowing their boards to drift. To her surprise, the porpoises altered their course, gliding directly toward them. On instinct, Maria reached for the camera and began to snap photos, adjusting the framing with every shot. By some miracle, she captured an image of all three of the porpoises breaching the surface before they paraded past in single file, close enough to touch, their blowholes spraying water. Maria turned, watching them retreat toward the inlet and the ocean beyond, wondering what had brought them to this place in this exact moment.
When they finally vanished from sight, she noticed that Colin had been staring at her. He smiled, and on instinct, she raised the camera and snapped his picture, suddenly recalling the flash of vulnerability he’d shown a few minutes earlier. Despite the outward confidence he exuded, she understood that like her, Colin simply wanted to be accepted; in his own way, he was just as lonely as she was. The realization made her ache, and it suddenly felt like they were the only two people in the world. In this silent, intimate moment, she knew that she wanted to spend more afternoons with him just like this one, an ordinary afternoon that somehow felt magical.