72
IVAN
Cora gets out of her dress and into normal clothes faster than should be possible. I still haven’t said a word.
There isn’t a word to say. Not if I’m going to keep my promises.
She turns to me, her lace bodysuit tucked into her jeans. “Are you really not going to say anything?” she hisses. “Defend yourself! Explain this to me!”
“There’s nothing to explain.”
She holds up her phone. The screen is black now, but I can guess what the text messages were. The way Francia and Jorden acted when I showed up makes a lot more sense now.
They were digging up dirt on me.
“Your last girlfriend is missing. No one has seen her,” she says. “And when I asked if you were going to kill me, you said, ‘It wouldn’t be the first time.’ I thought you were just saying that, but now… Now, I don’t know.”
“It looks like you know enough.” I gesture to where she’s slipping into her shoes. “One text and you’re ready to sprint out the door.”
“Because you aren’t telling me anything!” she cries.
She shoves her phone in her pocket and presses her hands over her eyes. When she pulls them away, there are tears gathering there. Emotion threatening to overflow.
She takes a deep breath and whirls towards me. “You and I are in a weird, not-really-a-relationship where we don’t owe each other a lot. I’m doing you a favor and you’re keeping me alive. It’s quid pro quo. This is different. You owe me an explanation, Ivan.”
I know I do.
But I can’t.
“Katerina has nothing to do with you.”
There isn’t even a comparison. I was forced to be with Katerina despite having no interest in her. With Cora, I want to be with her more than anything, but I can’t. They’re opposites in every way.
“She has a lot to do with me if I’m going to end up like her,” she snaps.
I take a step towards her and she shrinks back. Actually wilts in front of me.
It’s been a long time since she’s been scared of me. I forgot how it feels to see her flinch when I approach.
I retreat and fist my hands at my side. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Then tell me,” she pleads. “Tell me what is going on. Trust me with the truth. Tell me that you’re the man that I think you are.”
My life is built on a foundation of lies. Cora wants the truth, but it isn’t my truth to tell.
“I’m not the man you think I am.”
Her face falls. “What—”
“You’re looking at me like that.” I jab a finger in her direction. “You’re looking at me like I’m the monster under your bed and that’s not who I am. Not to you. Whatever you’re thinking right now, it’s worse than the truth.”
“Okay.” She blows out a breath, but it doesn’t do anything to calm her. She’s still shaking, pacing back and forth in front of me. “Okay, so maybe you didn’t kill her. That’s what you’re saying. But she’s still missing. Something happened to Katerina.” I don’t say anything and Cora seems to fold under the weight of her own misplaced expectations. “If you won’t tell me what happened, then it has to be because it’s worse than I think. Did someone attack her the way they’ve attacked me?”
“No one attacked her.”
“Then where the fuck is she?!” she screams. “People don’t just disappear into thin air! Something must have happened to her. And I know how you are with me. I don’t think you would hurt me. We’re just pretending, but you’ve sworn to protect me. Did you swear to protect her, too?”
For a brief moment, I’m once again in the back of that car. The divider is up and Katerina is huddled in the seat next to me. She’s wearing a fur coat and huge sunglasses. When she speaks, her voice is barely more than a whisper.
“I trust you, Ivan,” she says. “Whatever happens, I trust you.”
Which is why, standing in front of Cora now, I bite my tongue. I swallow down the explanations that are clawing at my throat.
A tear rolls down her cheek and she swipes it away. “If you couldn’t keep her safe, then why should I trust you to protect me?”
It’s her doubt in me more than anything that snaps my self-control. I take a jerking step towards her. “I took care of her!”
Cora scrambles back against the wall. Her skin goes pale—so pale—and her thoughts are written plainly on her face.
She thinks I took care of Katerina. After everything, Cora thinks I killed her.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I didn’t mean—”
“I want to leave.” Cora crosses her arms over her chest like armor. “I know you have other safehouses and more than enough guards. Put me up somewhere else.”
“No.”
She frowns. “Then chain me up. Lock me in a dungeon. Take care of me. The only way I will stay here with you is if you force me to stay.”
A dark part of me wants to strap her to the headboard and not let her leave until she understands.
But nothing has changed. There is too much I can’t tell her—too much she doesn’t know. And in the end, it might be for the best if she leaves. She’s been a distraction since the moment she arrived.
Out of sight, out of mind. A man can hope, at least.
Cora is glaring at me, preparing for the worst. So when I nod in agreement, the fight drains out of her.
She sags, her shoulders drooping. “I want to stay with Jorden.”
I scrub a hand through my hair. Jorden’s apartment is a shithole, but the location makes it surprisingly easy to guard. Plus, the private parking garage in the alley is a good entry and exit point. It’s not where I’d like to put Cora, but it will do.
“Fine. Yasha can take you. I’ll arrange it.”
Her knuckles turn white from clenching her phone so hard. She nods and looks down at her feet and mumbles something I don’t catch.
Fifteen minutes later, Cora is gone.
The car disappears down the drive, a fog of dust trailing behind it. Once she’s out of sight, I walk back into the silent, distraction-free house.
It’s never felt emptier.