71
BRIAN CLUB
Dev
New message
ping
New message
ping
New message
ping
Roisin put down her roller. She was wearing pyjamas inside out and her hair bundled up into a Sainsbury’s bag to keep it from paint flecks.
She’d tried headscarves in the past; they looked more appealing and yet didn’t keep her puce hairline safe enough. The thing about being single was, there was no one to see her looking like a Mars Attacks alien with a plastic shopper on her head.
Roisin wiped her hands on a cloth and picked her phone up. She best not switch to video call by accident.
She was in the process of turning the chapel-shaped open-plan reception room ‘Lamp Black’ by Little Greene. It was a dramatic shade that Joe had once upon a time, refused to sign off on, making it feel like a definitive break with the past. It was also a definitive break with good taste. Three-quarters of the way through the project, she had to admit it might’ve been the one thing Joe was right about. It had recreated a shop where they’d burn incense and try to sell you Himalayan salt candles that looked like lumps of ear wax. She could imagine Matt saying surely there are easier ways to open a portal for The Wicked One.
Matt.
Being busy helped banish Matt McKenzie from her mind. When masking-taping edges, swapping her brush sizes for the corners, she didn’t think about the contours of his face as much. Or his hands on her body, or how it felt when he kissed her, or any intimate moment that they’d shared that was unhelpful to the decision she’d regretfully made that they were no more.
It was the walks she couldn’t forgive, she thought, hand wavering while she was dragging bristles along the skirting board. At a bleak time in her life, those rambles through the woods had saved her sanity. Yet the whole time, Matt was a double agent. He could, as she’d said, have ended her doubts over Joe there and then. But he held it back, made a fool of her.
God, she’d even told him about her short-lived bout of misery-promiscuity in her teens. That was how much she’d trusted McKenzie.
What did Gina say? I feel naked around him anyway, so once he’d literally seen me naked, it was more than I could tolerate.
Yes, that. Her port in a storm had turned out to be more storm.
She opened the messages on Brian Club.
Dev
GUESS WHO DIDN’T GO TO SOLLER
PLEASE SAY CONGRATS TO THE NEW MR & MRS DOSHI!
There followed two photos of Dev and Anita, one a selfie of them holding up their ring fingers to the camera, another outside the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas.
While Roisin was marvelling at this, another message arrived.
Dev
Forgive the surprise, we decided to go for it. If we weren’t waiting, then why wait. HOWEVER. If you think you’ve dodged celebrating with us you’d be wrong <3
Got a cancellation slot at the Midland Hotel **next Friday** GET YOUR GLAD RAGS ON FOR OUR WEDDING RECEPTION!
Meredith
MANIACS
I am laughing out loud at my desk.
However sadly next Friday I have cinema tickets. Have fun xx
Gina
Me too, same film. It stars The Rock and Sir Ian McKellen. What a shame. Congrats guys! Xx
Roisin
DEV & ANITA – THIS IS AMAZING! Mr & Mrs! Wonderful news <3
However, I need to be in for E.on to read the meter on Friday night. Gutted. Xx
Anita
BAD BAD BITCHES
Dev
Snakes everywhere, Mrs Doshi. Just u and me now hun xoxo
Joe
(Assuming the girls are joking) but I genuinely have to fly to the States on the Wednesday prior. So sorry Have a great day, guys, congrats and see you soon Xx
Roisin couldn’t deny she was relieved at not sharing a ballroom with Joe’s seething discontent. Nor did she want him intuiting he’d succeeded at blowing her and McKenzie apart. Hmmm.
She’d tried not to think about how, in not forgiving Matt, she was dancing to Joe’s tune.
Dev
No worries mate, we know we’re chancing it here – we figured that if anyone can’t make it, we’ll have a separate celebration with them. Safe travel Xx
Once she’d finished painting, Roisin messaged Meredith and Gina separately.
Has anyone told Dev & Anita about me and Joe? I think he’d call me straight away, so guessing not?
Meredith
No!
Roisin
Given Joe’s not going to be there, easier to leave that now until after his knees up?
Meredith
Good thinking
Gina
Also I rang Matt as soon as I got the message from Dev, and had a REALLY good chat. He’ll definitely be coming to the reception. He doesn’t want to rejoin the WhatsApp group for now because of the heat with Joe, but he’s basically back on board for events without him. Feels really good to have made up.
Roisin wished her fulsome, positive response to this wasn’t so false. It was clear Matt hadn’t told Gina what had happened between them, and nor had she. She and Matt were over before they’d begun, so what was the point? She’d tell the girls one day, but couldn’t face it right now. Having felt the need to disclose a kiss, she was far more resigned about neglecting to mention their having done much more. Life moves pretty fast.
Nor had she told her friends about Joe and Beatrice; that could wait, too.
Irony upon irony: Gina was overjoyed that Matt was free to come back to the Brians, but Roisin knew now he never would.
This was where Roisin and Matt would be forever, then: decoding information passed between third parties. Oof – while she’d accepted there’d probably be occasions she’d have to socialise with Joe and New Mrs Joe (God help her), Matt and New Mrs Matt was going to be torment.
Roisin inspected the quantity of Goth paint left in her tin and sighed heavily.
‘I’m going to need a good dress,’ she said aloud, to a mostly soot-coloured room.