3

3 Shirley walks back through the gathering lighter on her feet

she can't wait to tell Lennox about her encounter with Carole, even though he dismisses her long-held grievance as a negative waste of energy life's so much simpler for men, simply because women are so much more complicated than them Lennox never seems to get uptight about anything she drags him away from Lakshmi to collect their coats and while the attendant fetches them, looks back at the party large spaces packed with raised voices remind her of the cacophonous nightmare of hundreds of schoolchildren in the school canteen the awful squeaking of voices and scraping of metal on crockery resounding and rebounding against the walls and ceiling her idea of a good night out is still grooving to lovers' rock with Lennox in a corner of a party where everybody is like them and quietly smooching in the dark rice, peas, curry goat simmering on the stove in the kitchen she spies Roland walk in from the promenade, his carriage full of self- importance, although it entertains her more than annoys her these days she only really got to know him a little when he fathered her goddaughter, Yazz, before then he, like many of Amma's friends, had no time for her by the time Yazz started primary school he was becoming famous and she was, for a while, in awe of him, which was silly she used to dread their encounters because he made her feel inferior as soon as he opened his mouth this one time she was bundling little Yazz into the child seat of her car while Roland rabbited on about Piaget's stages of child development, about which he knew much less than her she didn't feel confident enough to show off her knowledge, never did with him then he got a call to say his mother, who'd returned to the Gambia years earlier, had died one minute he was standing there pontificating, the next he'd collapsed on to the pavement Shirley ushered Yazz and Roland back into the house and let him cry his heart out in her arms

thereafter she saw his intellectual showmanship as a performance, deep down he could be as vulnerable as anyone these days they rub along quite pleasantly together, although not so much she's going to delay leaving the party to go over and say hello next she spots Lakshmi wandering around anxiously, she must be looking for Carolyn, her latest twenty-something child bride, as Amma jokes Shirley saw the child bride in a huddle with another much older woman a few moments ago, who seemed quite taken with her Lakshmi had better watch out just as she's thinking of finding Amma to say goodbye, she sees her heading towards the Ladies with Goddess Dominique, giggling conspiratorially it reminds her of when they ran the theatre company together and they wanted to be with each other more than anyone else, even more than their lovers until Nzinga came on the scene and whisked Dominique away to a glamorous life in America although it wasn't that, from Amma's reports, apparently Nzinga took Dominique down a peg or two (that was overdue) Amma insisted there never was an attraction between her and Dominique, yet Shirley never understood a friendship where you went to the toilet together in your twenties, as they did, let alone in their fifties Shirley had tried to avoid Dominique tonight, who's far too edgy to be around a boring heterosexual suburban schoolteacher unfortunately, they ended up standing beside each other at the bar during the interval and Shirley couldn't make a discreet escape Dominique was the same as ever, still thin, tight white tee-shirt to show off her flat stomach (rubbing it in), biker jacket, knuckle-duster rings, earrings crawling up her ears like loops of silver stitches, black jeans, biker boots, boyish hairstyle, no grey it would be age-inappropriate attire if Dom didn't look thirty-two black women never look their age, except for Shirley typical bad luck

they hadn't seen each other for many a year and true to expectation Dominique grinned mockingly at Shirley as if entertained by Shirley's pathetic little life hey, how ya doin, Shirl? she asked in her almost-American accent true to form, Shirley had absolutely nothing exciting to tell her, and when she bounced the same question back at Dominique, it was, wow! where do I begin? just as Dominique's attention was diverted by the barman who chose to serve her first of course he did a wine glass in each hand, Dominique moved away, great to see ya, Shirl, she said, and disappeared after serving Goddess Dominique the barman took an order from the person on the other side of Shirley who'd arrived later than her Shirley said uncharacteristically loudly, excuse me, I was here first and the entire counter turned to stare at her she hadn't resented Amma's friendship with Dominique when she came on the scene, because their paths had already forked dramatically her friendship with Amma is based on historic loyalty and comfortable familiarity rather than shared interests and perspectives, they tend to see films together which Shirley believes should be thrilling entertainment (from what she can tell, billions of people in the world agree with her) Amma likes very slow foreign films with no plot and lots of atmosphere because 'the best films are about expanding our understanding of what it means to be human, they're a journey into pushing the boundaries of form, an adventure beyond the clichés of commercial cinema, an expression of our deeper consciousness' you can imagine what Shirley thinks of that they compromise, Amma went to see La La Land with her, not admitting she enjoyed it (Shirley could tell she did), and Shirley sat (slept) through Moonlight, which Amma said was one of the best films she'd ever seen she watches the two friends disappear into the Ladies – so confident, fun- loving, youthful and flamboyant she wanted to say goodbye to Amma, they've hardly spoken all evening as she's been swamped by her admirers, Shirley isn't venturing into the

toilet to intrude on her gossipy catch-up session with Dominique who'll give her a look that says, what is it now, boring Shirl? Shirley's already had a quick chat with Yazz who seems to have caught the unseemly afro virus, her hair sticking up in a wiry frizz back in the seventies people had tidy, symmetrical afros, it wasn't for Shirley even then, her mother put her under the hot iron comb at the age of twelve and she hasn't seen or felt her real hair since Yazz didn't bother to introduce her godmother to the two friends with her, which was plain bad manners they looked a bit attitude-y, and Shirley's used to teenagers cowering at the sight of her, not acting as if they're equals one of them was wearing a very non-religious hijab with sequins on it, the other one was spilling out of a very low-cut top Yazz is more like Roland than her mother in presenting an overly self- assured image, and it feels as if she only speaks to Shirley out of a sense of duty these days you're my favourite godmother, Yazz used to tell her, perhaps she says that to all her godparents, all one million of them she suspects Yazz doesn't find her very interesting Lennox tells her to stop being silly her and Lennox slip out of the lobby and on to the promenade where Yazz is leaning against the wall facing the river talking to someone, a man with vulgar tattoos up his arms, it could equally be a woman, hard to tell in this 'anything goes' environment Shirley can't wait to get back home, to snuggle up on the sofa with Lennox with a cup of hot chocolate and catch up on the Bake Off finale she missed tonight.