SIX
Hayes stood in the doorway of Ren’s office, two cups of fresh coffee in his hands. The windows were dark at this hour, and Ren had his back to him as he sat in front of his triumvirate of monitors. His hand gripped the back of his head and his legs were splayed out in front of him like he’d just run a marathon and collapsed in the chair.
“That bad?” Hayes walked over and set the coffee on the corner of Ren’s messy desk. Ren had briefed him this morning on the security breach, but then had told him not to worry about it, that he’d handle things. Hayes hated that Ren still felt like he had to kid-glove him with work stuff. So he’d insisted on taking on the logistical tasks while Ren dug into the game to see what he could find.
Ren had relented and Hayes had introduced himself to the team, even though that’d been the last thing he’d wanted to do today. Everyone had seemed professional and welcoming enough. Ren had obviously prepped them that they should be expecting him to return soon, but he’d caught a few watchful glances. He was sure there were whispers after he’d left the room, but there was nothing he could do about that. It was a new part of his existence that he was going to have to get used to. Released or not, he was a former convict. People would always wonder if he’d really done that horrible crime and had simply had enough money to get away with it.
But Ren was right. He couldn’t hide forever. There was a company to run. So he’d gotten the awkward introductions out of the way, and then had delegated what needed to be done for the day. He’d gotten them to take Hayven offline. Then he’d set up a refund for this month’s members to compensate for the downtime. He’d drafted a notice to go out to everyone to be on the lookout for fake emails. Despite the fact that they were in crisis mode, being busy had actually felt good. He liked having a mission, an objective.
But now it was bordering on eleven at night. Everyone else had gone home for the weekend and Ren had barely left his office. The guy could go into obsessive hyperfocus mode with stuff like this. He’d forget to eat and sleep if no one reminded him to take a break.
Ren ran a hand over his face and rocked forward in his chair to grab the coffee. “I don’t know. I can’t find anything obviously wrong, but I can feel the bastard’s dirty fingerprints all over my game. And I know systems get attacked every day, but this feels like more than that. Be a troll, a troublemaker, a thief—fine, whatever. But this shit could get someone seriously hurt. Cora could’ve been raped.”
“It definitely feels personal,” Hayes said, stepping to the side and eyeing the row of Ren’s drawings. Though members could personalize their characters, Ren had designed the components and liked to see how people put them together. A version of Master Dmitry was pinned up there, but Ren had left him shirtless and had inked in elaborate tattoos of snaking, thorny vines over his chest. Dmitry was trying to grab at them but they were part of his skin, leaving him in beautifully rendered anguish as he tore at himself. Hayes looked away, afraid Ren would notice his lingering attention on the art. “This attack took time to orchestrate. Whoever it was had to know enough about the game—who was talking to whom, who lived where—to even set it up.”
“Exactly,” Ren said, tone grim. “It has intent.”
Hayes turned away from the wall of drawings and watched the steam curl off his coffee. “Did Cora say anything about possible enemies? A crazy ex or something?”
Ren’s chair squeaked as he stretched. “I didn’t have time to ask, but we can pick her brain on Monday. I was hoping to figure out if she was the only one affected or if it’s more widespread. That would answer some questions and give us a place to start.”
Hayes looked up. “If it’s more widespread, we’re fucked. No one’s going to play a game like Hayven if they think their information isn’t protected.”
Ren groaned. “I don’t even want to consider that possibility. We finally get solid investors backing us and our most profitable product could go up in flames.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll wait until Monday before I panic. Hopefully, Cora will be able to find the clues and trails I don’t know how to see and we can stop this before it goes any further. I was hoping I could do something to help tonight, but this is above my pay grade.”
Hayes perched on the edge of the credenza. “You know for a fact that she’s skilled enough for this job?”
Ren lowered his hand from his face and gave him a what-the-fuck look. “Of course. Why else would I hire her?”
Hayes sniffed. “Don’t forget how well I know you. You feel guilty because she was attacked. Plus, I saw how close to her you were standing.”
“Dude, I feel like absolute shit that she was attacked. It could’ve been so . . . I can’t even think about it.” A haunted look flashed through his eyes. “But that’s not why I hired her. I went with my gut. And based on what I found on the résumé she sent me, I was spot on. She went to a good school and has worked for two top-tier companies. The only ding was that she apparently quit her last job with Braecom without notice. But there’s a story there. She’s not the flighty type.”
“Oh, so you already know her type, huh?”
Ren shrugged. “I’m good at reading people. I know flighty. I’m flighty. She’s definitely not. She’s the type that probably has some itemized life plan written down with little checkboxes next to each task. Something went down at the last job to make her leave.”
“And the reason you were standing so close?” Hayes pressed.
The corner of his mouth twitched—Ren’s mischief mode. “I was doing that for the same reason you were giving her the shakedown.”
Hayes grabbed his coffee and sipped. “There was no shakedown. I barely said a word to her.”
“Bullshit. She caught your attention just like she caught mine. There’s something about her that’s just . . . I don’t know. Interesting. Like she’s got good secrets.”
He wasn’t going to honor that with a reaction, but Ren was right. Something about Cora had made him want to keep looking, to extend the conversation. He didn’t quite understand the reaction. She was far from his usual type. When it came to women, he was typically attracted to ones with more in-your-face sex appeal, ones who embraced that ultra-feminine look. But Cora had been rocking some female Clark Kent vibe with her dark-rimmed glasses, skinny jeans, and a vintage Mystery Machine T-shirt that hugged her body just enough to reveal her barely-there curves. That tomboy look worked on her. Plus, a woman with a mind sharp enough to do high-level computer security and who hadn’t retreated when he’d held her gaze? That was all too intriguing. Which meant he needed to steer clear. “I don’t see it.”
Ren snorted. “Oh, come on. You eye-fucked her in that way you used to do before we put a submissive through a scene. I’m surprised you didn’t ask her for a safe word and make her call you sir.”
Hayes winced.
“And she stared right back—all bold and shit.” Ren’s smile was far too amused. “I almost got a semi just watching the two of you. She’d be a challenge. A quiet one with all those hard-to-crack layers? Hot.”
“Ren.” His tone held warning.
He held up a hand. “Don’t get your feathers fluffed, Fox. I’m just calling it like I see it. And it was nice to see you give that look, to know that you’re still capable. It’s been a long time.”
Hayes rubbed his brow and closed his eyes, a headache brewing. “It was just a look. And even if it was what you’re saying, she’s going to be an employee. And she’s young.”
“She’s twenty-six. And we’re contracting her services. I’m not her boss. And neither are you.”
Hayes’s head lifted at that. “Uh-uh. Don’t go looking for loopholes, Muroya. The woman just got attacked because of our game. She’s going to be working with us. Plus, you don’t know anything about her. She probably already has a boyfriend or a girlfriend. She—”
“Watched me get a blow job from Naomi last night at the party and liked it.”
“What?”
Ren looked all too pleased at Hayes’s shock. He rocked back in his chair. “I did a scene last night. Chris Jenkins has a cuckolding kink and asked for my help. We were going to try it at The Ranch, but when we ran into each other at the party, I figured, why not? So Naomi and I snuck off into a hallway. I thought we were alone, but then I looked up and there was this woman in the dark, watching us.”
“You’ve got to be shitting me. Cora?”
“Yep. Apparently, she’d been in the hallway already when we arrived. And, man, it was intense. She looked so . . . entranced. I could tell she wanted to stay. But I spooked her and she bailed. I found her at the party afterward, thinking maybe she was new to The Ranch since there were a lot of members at the party. But she was freaked out, and obviously shocked by what she’d seen. We didn’t even exchange names.” He shrugged. “I thought it was done. Then, boom, here she was today. She had no idea she was coming to see me. You should’ve seen her face when she realized who I was. I almost felt bad for her. Until she checked me out. Then I just felt other things. So, obviously, it’s fate.”
Hayes ran a hand over the back of his head. “Fate is bullshit.”
Was it fate that had locked him in a cage for three years? Fuck fate.
And he didn’t want to think about blow jobs in dark hallways, of watching or being watched, of the woman he was going to be working with being interested in that kind of thing. He didn’t need to know these details. He wanted to think of Cora as a sexless entity. A bot who would be working on their computers. Just like he was trying to think of Ren as a sexless best friend.
“You said she was freaked out by what she saw. So she’s not kinky?” Hayes’s words came out like a prayer.
Ren set his coffee aside and tilted back in his chair, making the springs groan again. “She says no. She wouldn’t tell me who she is in the game. She said she just likes video games and is an observer in Hayven.”
“There are lots of those. That’s half our subscriber base.” Hayes should know. He used to be one of those lurkers up until a few months ago when he’d met Lenore. But, of course, Ren didn’t know any of that. Ren didn’t know he played at all.
“Yeah. But I know what I saw last night, and I see how she reacts to me—how she reacted to you. Maybe she does just observe, but she’s lying to herself if she thinks she’s unaffected. She’s wound up tighter than a ball of rubber bands and dying of curiosity. A voyeur at the very least. I saw it all over her face last night. She’s freaked out by the urge, but it’s there. You know what that does to me, Hayes.”
Hayes groaned. “Stop.”
Ren had always had a fetish for the newbies. He liked teaching and opening up people’s world, that process of discovery. He’d prepare them for the lifestyle and then let them go so they could find a long-term relationship. That’s how Ren’s brain operated—new, new, new. He always wanted a new challenge, a new rush. But no one who would expect him to stick around.
He sipped his drink. “What does it matter to you anyway? You’re doing your thing. I’m doing mine. If something happens between me and Cora, that doesn’t have to affect you.”
Hayes’s jaw clenched.
Ren’s eyes narrowed, gaze shrewd. “Unless you want it to.”
“No.” The word was like a thunderclap. Final. Definite. A lie.
He had no idea why the thought of Ren and Cora hooking up bothered the hell out of him. He didn’t know Cora, and he was used to Ren’s escapades. And it wasn’t like Hayes was going to make some move on her. Even if the way she looked at him today had made his instincts prickle with awareness. For a brief moment in the hallway, he’d had a flash of Ren stepping behind her, whispering commands in her ear, telling her exactly what to do and what the two of them were going to do to her.
Hayes had gotten used to missing sex. But he hadn’t been prepared for the deep ache for more that had hit him, that thrill of playing on the edge, that connection of sharing a woman with his best friend, that satisfaction of being in charge and making sure everyone found their version of bliss. His body had physically hurt with the rush of need and the grief that had been hot on its heels. He’d never have that again. Instead, Ren would pursue Cora, and Hayes would continue exactly as he was now. The thought was damn depressing.
“You know,” Ren said, voice deceivingly casual, “when she first saw you in the hallway this afternoon, she made this little breathy sound. I don’t even think she realized she did it, but it was obvious what she thought of the view. Not that I blame her. I mean, you’re not as hot as me, but you’re pretty close.”
Hayes’s head lifted at that, sending Ren a warning look.
Ren grinned. “Okay, maybe equally as hot. But the point is, she isn’t repulsed by us. Always a good start.”
Hayes shook his head. “There is no start.”
“Come on, Fox. I know you’re in monk mode, but a little harmless flirting never hurt anyone. This could be good for you. I think you’re going to like Cora. And I have a feeling she’d like us.”
“I don’t need to like her. I just need her to get this breach fixed.”
Ren tipped his head back and groaned. “Yeah, yeah. All work and no play. The Hayes who could crack a smile is gone. He will not try to make a friend at work. He will not enjoy the company of a smart, interesting woman just for the hell of it. He will not take up his very hot best friend on his very generous sexual offers. Broody dude will brood in his office all day long and be broody. I get it.”
Hayes stared at him, the words said lightly but landing heavy. Every word was the truth. He didn’t like the picture it painted. At all. He could remember a time when he and Ren had joked around, when they gave each other a hard time on a daily basis and made each other laugh. When being at work was like play—an adventure with his best friend by his side. They made video games, for God’s sake, not nuclear bombs. Everything felt so life and death lately. How Ren had even tolerated being around Hayes since he’d gotten out was a freaking wonder. Hayes released a breath and scraped a hand through his hair. “Goddamn, I am a miserable fuck to be around, aren’t I?”
Ren lifted his head, surprise on his face.
“And broody, Ren? Who uses that word? I’m not a eighteenth-century English lord.”
Ren’s lips curved. “You could totally pull that shit off, though. Lord of the manor? You’d be all over that. Wearing cravats. Bossing people around. The mansion would have to be named something super dark and creepy. Raven House or Blackwood Manor.”
“And Lord Hayes never comes out of his room,” Hayes said.
“And the drawing room is haunted.”
“And there’s a room in the east wing that always remains locked,” Hayes added.
“Because that’s where the bodies of the former servants are kept. They all killed themselves because the lord was so damn broody that they could bear it no longer.”
“Ha. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so close to the truth.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, feeling ten kinds of exhausted. “I’m sorry, man. I get so trapped in my own head sometimes that I don’t realize how shitty it must be to be around me.”
Ren sat forward, bracing his arms on his thighs. “I’m not looking for an apology. You know I’d put up with your broody ass for as long as it takes. You have the right to be angry and depressed and paranoid. You come by that stuff honestly. You’ve been through hell.”
Hayes looked down.
“And believe me, I remember how it is to feel like you’re drowning under the weight of all that heavy stuff. When you first met me, I felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean with bricks strapped to my feet. I didn’t think I’d ever surface again. Hell, I didn’t know if I wanted to. But this bossy white kid from across the street forced me to go to school every morning and talk to that nosy social worker. He made me draw my comics. He kicked my ass and forced me to go through the motions. And eventually, my brain caught up. I started seeing the other side, laughing again, having fun. Living.”
Hayes’s chest tightened. He could remember the day he’d first heard Ren really laugh. The kid had been so beat down, so quiet, for so long. But one day after school, Ren had brought Hayes to his aunt’s restaurant to introduce him to sushi. Hayes had talked a big game that he could handle spicy food, so Ren had bet him twenty bucks that he couldn’t take a big dollop of wasabi without spitting it out. Hayes had boldly popped it in his mouth and swallowed. It’d taken about five seconds before he was coughing, ten before he was crying, and fifteen before he was beseeching God for help and cursing the entire nation of Japan.
But then Ren had burst out with this full-throttle laugh that had filled the restaurant and had taken Hayes completely off guard. He’d never heard the kid sound so openly joyful. And suddenly the house of pain that the wasabi had brought on was worth every second. He’d finally gotten to meet the real Ren, had gotten a glimpse of the sarcastic, playfully sadistic smartass he’d eventually become. He’d surfaced in the ocean.
“Yeah, you were a broody motherfucker, weren’t you?” Hayes said, trying to lighten the mood.
“I was worse. I wasn’t broody, I was emo before emo existed. And you didn’t let me get away with it.” Ren stood and stepped closer. He thumped Hayes on the knee, making him look up. “So, that’s all I’m trying to do for you. You annoyed the hell out of me back then. Now I’m returning the favor. I’m not going to sit by and let you lock yourself up in the manor, Lord Hayes. I’m going to push you. I’m going to point out when a pretty woman gives you a look. And I’m going to make inappropriate sexual offers. And you are going to appreciate it, dammit.”
Hayes laughed at that, the sound hoarse and foreign in his throat. “I don’t deserve a friend like you.”
“That’s the thing,” Ren said, putting his hands on Hayes’s shoulders. “You absolutely do. You’re not just a good guy. You’re the best guy I know, Fox.”
Hayes’s jaw flexed.
“All I’m asking is that you try,” Ren said, voice softening. “Let me push you. Trust that I’ve got your best interests in mind. I’ve got your back, just like you had mine.”
Hayes’s heart was beating fast, his palms sweaty against his thighs. The thought of trusting anyone, even Ren, was so goddamned hard. But he heard what Ren was saying. Just one foot in front of the other—go through the motions. Stop running in place. “This sounds like a negotiation conversation at The Ranch.”
Ren smirked. “Oh, hell no. You would be the worst goddamned sub in the history of subs. My arm would go out before I could beat you into submission.”
Hayes grinned. “No doubt.”
“So?” Ren asked, dropping his hands from Hayes’s shoulders and folding his arms, the gauntlet laid down.
Hayes released a breath and pushed himself off the credenza. “Fine. I’ll try to let you push. I’ll come to work next week. I’ll be less brooding lord and more the guy who used to work here. But the Cora thing is a no go for me. No women. No kink. That’s all I can give you right now.”
Ren nodded, relief at the edges of his expression. “I’ll take that. For now.”
Ren held out his hand like it was an official negotiation.
Hayes took it and squeezed but instead of releasing it, he tugged Ren closer. He touched his forehead to Ren’s, their hands clasped tightly between them. “For what it’s worth, you’re the best guy I know, too. And turning down your offer was and still is the hardest thing I’ve done since getting out. I won’t use you, Ren. Doesn’t mean I’m not tempted.” He swallowed hard, letting the truth slip free. “I’ve always been tempted.”
Ren closed his eyes, breathed. “Fox . . .”
In that moment, Hayes wanted to cross that line, to do something about the attraction that had simmered unspoken between them for all these years. It’d been so goddamned long since he’d touched someone, been touched. He’d just have to angle his head, brush his mouth against Ren’s. He didn’t have much experience with men, but this wasn’t just any guy. This was Ren. He had no doubt it’d be like a match struck if they ever let the smallest thing happen.
Then disaster would follow. Ren had friends. And Ren had lovers. The two didn’t cross. Something happening between them would light a match and then it’d burn everything the hell down.
Hayes released Ren’s hand and stepped back. “I’ll see you at home.”
Ren’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Yeah. See ya.”
Their gazes held for a second too long. Hayes turned and strode out the door before he did something he’d regret in the morning.
He’d agreed to let Ren push.
He hadn’t agreed to jump off a cliff.