6 Everything changed, Ma, once me and my Hattie found each other, it was like I came out of the darkness and into the light and could love her as I should I wish you'd seen me spoil her, Ma, let her get her own way with everything because I couldn't say no to anything she wanted, until Joseph stepped in and said I was ruining her I wish you'd seen how Joseph and Hattie adored each other, how he made no concessions for her being a girl, how she followed him around copying everything he did I wish you'd seen Hattie grow strong, tough and tall, Ma, seen her learn to plough, sow, thresh, drive bales of hay on the tractor from the fields to the barns I wish you were around to be her grandma, to tell her what it was like for you growing up, and stories about me from when I was too young to remember I wish you'd not died so young, Ma, seen how well I was looked after in the home, how I learned to walk in shoes, had clean water and fresh food and learned many things I wish you'd seen me running in the meadows outside the home, Ma, just as you'd imagined, and pressing flowers in my flower book and writing little poems about them I wish you'd learnt to read and write, Ma, gone to school as you really wanted to, you'd have liked reading books, Ma, especially all the famous novels by Mr Charles Dickens I wish you'd seen how I learnt how to act with poise and ladylike decorum, Ma, I wasn't a pushover, just as you weren't, I could stand up for myself when I had to I wish you saw how much I hated being a servant, Ma, how I resented every minute of it, until I had my own home and then thoroughly enjoyed keeping a clean and pleasant house I wish you saw how much Joseph loved me again when I came round, how we decided together there'd be no more bairns and he used the withdrawal method instead I wish you'd met Joseph, Ma, my man, who stood at my side for the rest of my life, he was my shelter and my companion and the best father of our
little girl I wish you'd seen how Hattie had no one ruining her personality, Ma, how she ordered the workers about, how me and Joseph laughed when she tried to boss us around I wish you'd seen how I learnt to help out on the farm outside to fill the ice house with the ice we dug up from the frozen lake in winter to harvest fruit from the orchard, make preserves and jams to pick and pickle vegetables and store them in the ice house to feed the cows, goats, pigs, horses, chickens, turkeys, ducks, peacocks to put motherless lambs in boxes in front of the Long Room fire to muck out a whole winter's worth of dung from the horse shelter to smoke meat and salt bacon with pork grease to harvest fruit from the orchard, and make preserves and jams to do the hedging, hurdle-making, basket-making, butter and cheese- making weeding and weaning and beekeeping and brewing cider, beer and ginger ale I wish you'd met Slim, Ma, the American man who married Hattie, how relieved we were she'd found someone we knew would look after her when we were gone I wish you'd met Sonny and Ada Mae, Ma, your great-grandchildren, I only knew them for a little while Joseph was so thankful that finally there was a boy who would one day carry on the family farm.
Chapter Five The After-party