sofia
I wait for the door to close and then literally count to ten before I let out the huge breath I have been holding in. I look up to the ceiling, blinking as I breathe in and out to get my heart rate down. I’m surprised I didn’t have a fucking heart attack. “What. The. Actual. Fuck,” I curse out loud as the adrenaline I had running through me slowly leaves and the reality hits me. “This is not happening.” I walk on shaky knees, looking in the offices and seeing no one is there. I hear chatter coming from the end of the hallway and walk into our makeshift conference room.
The three of them sit around the round table, each looking down at the paper in front of them. I walk in and place the manila folder on the table. “I quit,” I declare to all of them, pulling out a chair and sitting in it because my knees are going to give out. I’m so filled with nerves I quickly get back up and start pacing the room. “I’m not doing that.” I point at the file on the table and feel like it’s a ticking time bomb before quickly exiting the room.
“Oh, shit,” I hear Presley say from behind me as the sound of the three of them getting up fills the room.
“She needs some of the sweet tea,” Clarabella says in a whisper but not really whispering.
“This does not bode well,” Shelby says under her breath.
“That I do.” I point at them. “That is exactly what I need.” My feet make their way straight into my office and toward the bottle of sweet tea I keep hidden in the closet for emergency situations. Grabbing the bottle, I unscrew the gold cap before I take a swig of the liquid. It tastes sweet but it burns all the way down. I put the bottle on my desk and slip off my jacket when I feel suddenly hot.
“Oh, shit,” I hear from behind me again when I see Presley walk into my office and going to sit down on one of the pink chairs facing my desk. She crosses her legs and just waits for me to say something.
“Is this code purple?” Shelby asks, not sure what to do as she comes into the room with her hands in front of her, wringing them together.
“Everyone needs to calm down,” Clarabella says, her voice coming out smooth, as she walks over and turns one of the pink chairs around for me to sit. “Why don’t you have a seat?” Clarabella is trying to remain calm, but from the way she is breathing heavily, she is not relaxed.
“Yes, let’s sit down,” Presley urges, patting the chair beside her. “Just so you know, you can’t just quit.” She laughs nervously, trying not to panic. I can tell all three of them are slowly starting to panic as they share a look with each other.
“I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” Clarabella says, “but Presley is right.” She looks at Presley, who blows on her nails and wipes them on the white silk shirt she is wearing. “You can’t just quit.”
I wish it was that easy. I wish she was right. But fuck me, seeing Matthew again, after all this time, was a shock. It also felt like someone wound up and kicked me right in the vagina using a soccer cleat.
“Whatever happened,” Shelby soothes in a soft motherly voice, “we can recover from it.”
“I don’t think so,” I fire back, picking up the bottle and having another swig. This time the burn doesn’t really get to me, which should be an indicator that I should not be drinking anything more.
“It’s not as bad as you think it is,” Clarabella says quietly, waiting for me. I put my head back and close my eyes, but then I just see Matthew’s face again and no one needs that right now.
“It really is,” I finally reply, looking at all three of them.
“I can assure you it’s not.” Shelby walks to me and puts her hands on my arms and smiles at me.
“I just met my ex-boyfriend and his fiancée.” I say the words out loud into the universe so now everyone fucking knows.
“Fuck,” Clarabella blurts, “it is as bad as you think.” If I wasn’t in my own shoes, I would laugh at this whole thing.
Presley’s and Shelby’s heads whip toward Clarabella, who holds up her hands. “Don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just stating the obvious.”
“Okay,” Shelby remarks, “this might be a little hiccup.”
I laugh at her. “A minor issue.” She looks around.
“A little bump in the road,” Presley follows Shelby’s lead.
I look at Clarabella, waiting for her words of encouragement, but instead she shakes her head. “This is like an asteroid coming to the earth.”
“What is wrong with you?” Shelby hisses between clenched teeth at Clarabella. “This is not helping anyone.”
“Fine.” Clarabella rolls her eyes. “Why don’t we start from the beginning?”
“Yes,” Presley says, looking over at me, “define ex-boyfriend.”
“Ohhh, good one.” Clarabella nods her head. “Let’s define what kind of ex-boyfriend.”
“How long did you guys date?” Presley asks.
“Two years,” I tell the group.
“How long ago did the breakup happen?” Shelby asks.
“Almost two years ago,” I share, trying not to think of the day it all came to a screeching halt.
“Was he the best sex you ever had?” Clarabella questions, while Presley and Shelby groan. “What? This is a great question. We need to know what level it was on.” They just glare at her. “Okay, fine, we will table that question for after.” She glares at her sisters. “On a scale of one to ten.” She puts her hand on my desk and starts tapping her finger. “Ten being the highest, how much did you want to throat punch him when you saw him with his new girlfriend?”
“Fiancée,” I correct her. “Not like we just ran into each other at a bar or in Walmart. He came here with his fiancée.” Clarabella cringes at that statement and I swear if it wasn’t happening to me, I might laugh at this whole situation. “I mean, what are the odds that your ex-boyfriend is going to walk into your place of employment on your first day on the job and you get to plan his wedding?” I mean, the irony behind it, I just can’t even wrap my head around it. “But the answer is ten.”
“Okay, I’m sorry,” Shelby says. “But I have to ask, does the fiancée know?”
I shake my head and laugh. “I walked in there, and I swear to God, it was as if time was standing still and everything was in slow motion. I felt eyes on me, and then when I looked up, I saw him.” I grab the bottle and take another swig of the sweet tea, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “We pretended we didn’t know each other.”
“What?” Clarabella shrieks out. “And what did you do?”
“I pretended I didn’t know who he was,” I say, folding my arms over my chest. “I even pretended I didn’t like hockey,” I pfft out.
“He plays hockey?” Clarabella asks. “Like professionally?”
“Yes.” I nod my head. “Even when we were in school, he was drafted when he was eighteen, but he wanted to get a degree before he played.”
“Shut up,” Clarabella squawks, taking out her phone. “What’s his name?”
“Matthew Petrov,” I reply as she opens Google and must type in his name.
Her eyes come to me. “Stop it.”
“Let me see.” Presley extends her hand for the phone. She gets it and I ignore the gasp from her and then glance away when she looks at me with her mouth hanging open, and then she closes it again as she hands the phone over to Shelby.
She grabs it, and I see her eyes go big. “He looks awful,” she tries to say, and even I know she’s lying.
“Maury said that’s a lie,” Clarabella jokes, shaking her head. “But did he look at you and was like, holy shit, what do we do?”
“I have no idea. I avoided him as much as I could. I directed my questions straight to Helena,” I state, proud of myself. No matter how many times my eyes wanted to look over at him, I just stared straight ahead. I swear, I could feel his eyes on me the whole time, but I didn’t look over at him. Not once. The only time I did was at the end and even that was too much for me.
“Did they have a date in mind?” Clarabella leans back in her chair and I shake my head.
“No, obviously it has to be in the summer since he’s off then,” I share with them the only detail I really paid attention to. The whole exchange was also a touch weird and not just because it was with my ex, but she name-dropped who he was every chance she could.
“It’ll probably be a big wedding,” I fill in. “He has a big family.”
“Define big.” Shelby lifts her eyebrows at me.
“About as big as mine, if not bigger,” I share and ignore the pull to take the phone from her now.
Shelby puts the phone down and I wonder what pictures they looked at. After we broke up, I blocked his name from my phone. I mean, not really, but I definitely didn’t go on and google him. I mean, maybe I did just the one time, but that was after a long day of drinking and an unsuccessful date where I had to pleasure myself. It was a moment of weakness. “How did you leave it?” She taps her manicured finger on the phone.
“They would get back to me,” I say and laugh, “as if I would even think about doing this.” I roll my eyes.
“Okay, I have to ask, who broke up with who?” Clarabella finally asks the loaded question.
I shake my head and put my hand to my forehead. “He broke up with me.” I thought I was over the pain from that day, but clearly, I am not. I’m far from over it. It’s been two years. It should be dead and buried in my memories. Sadly, seeing him for even five minutes brought it all back.
“This is getting sad,” Clarabella says, “so let’s get back to the questions about sex.”
“Dear God,” Shelby mutters. “Maybe there are some things she shouldn’t share.”
“Bite your tongue,” Clarabella retorts, “I literally heard you and Ace going at it in a shed.”
“It was in my backyard, my fenced backyard!” she shrieks, and I roll my lips. The three of them have caught each other in so many compromising positions, it’s always a new story. I have even caught or heard one of them at times. I mean, if I was in a committed relationship like all of them, I guess I would be doing the same. Especially since Shelby and Clarabella were supposed to marry one person and then married someone else. Presley was so scared she fought really hard to push Bennett away, but he did not let her go. I would love to have a love like that. I thought I did have a love like that. Sadly, I was wrong.
“It was also one hundred and twenty degrees, I’m surprised you didn’t faint,” Presley reminds her. “You came out a sweaty mess.”
“I’m surprised we didn’t have to take you to the hospital for dehydration.” Shelby shakes her head.
“Can we please focus on Sofia for once?” Shelby redirects.
“Yes, can we,” Clarabella agrees. “Sex on a scale of one to ten?”
I look at the three of them, putting my hand to my stomach. “He was my first kiss,” I admit, breathing out and looking at the ceiling to blink away the tears that have now crept up on me. “My first everything, really,” I whisper as I walk around the desk, avoiding looking at them. I’m not sure I can stand them looking at me and seeing the pity in their eyes. “Needless to say, I’m not working with them.” I finally look at all three of them and they just look at me and nod.
“If they call you back,” Shelby says, getting up, “I’ll take it.”
“Do you really think that he would come back?” Clarabella questions me and all I can do is shrug my shoulders. “Okay, he came today but did he know he was meeting you?”
“I don’t think so,” I answer honestly. “They filled the doc out online and all correspondence was done through the main email address, so there isn’t a fixed name on there,” I say, putting my hand in front of me. “Either way, that was my one and only appointment I will do with him.”
“Or,” Clarabella suggests, “you show him that he means jack shit to you and plan him the best fucking wedding of his life.”
“How is that going to help her?” Shelby asks the question I almost asked.
“Think about it.” Clarabella smiles. “Every single time he thinks of his wedding, he is going to think of her.” If I have to admit it, I think it’s genius, but I won’t put myself in that position. “It’s up to you.” She gets up. “And no more sweet tea, your face is already flushed.”
I take a deep breath. “I guess we will see if they call or not.”