CHAPTER VI Thoughts When I am all alone Envy me most, Then my thoughts flutter round me In a glimmering host; Some dressed in silver, Some dressed in white, Each like a taper Blossoming light; Most of them merry, Some of them grave, Each of them lithe As willows that wave; Some bearing violets, Some bearing bay, One with a burning rose Hidden away -- When I am all alone Envy me then, For I have better friends Than women and men. Faces People that I meet and pass In the city's broken roar, Faces that I lose so soon And have never found before, Do you know how much you tell In the meeting of our eyes, How ashamed I am, and sad To have pierced your poor disguise? Secrets rushing without sound Crying from your hiding places -- Let me go, I cannot bear The sorrow of the passing faces. -- People in the restless street, Can it be, oh can it be In the meeting of our eyes That you know as much of me?
31 Evening: New York Blue dust of evening over my city, Over the ocean of roofs and the tall towers Where the window-lights, myriads and myriads, Bloom from the walls like climbing flowers. Snowfall "She can't be unhappy," you said, "The smiles are like stars in her eyes, And her laugh is thistledown Around her low replies." "Is she unhappy?" you said -- But who has ever known Another's heartbreak -- All he can know is his own; And she seems hushed to me, As hushed as though Her heart were a hunter's fire Smothered in snow. The Silent Battle (In Memory of J. W. T. Jr.) He was a soldier in that fight Where there is neither flag nor drum, And without sound of musketry The stealthy foemen come. Year in, year out, by day and night They forced him to a slow retreat, And for his gallant fight alone No fife was blown, and no drum beat. In winter fog, in gathering mist The gray grim battle had its end -- And at the very last we knew His enemy had turned his friend.
The Sanctuary If I could keep my innermost Me Fearless, aloof and free Of the least breath of love or hate, And not disconsolate At the sick load of sorrow laid
32 on men; If I could keep a sanctuary there Free even of prayer, If I could do this, then, With quiet candor as I grew more wise I could look even at God with grave forgiving eyes. At Sea In the pull of the wind I stand, lonely, On the deck of a ship, rising, falling, Wild night around me, wild water under me, Whipped by the storm, screaming and calling. Earth is hostile and the sea hostile, Why do I look for a place to rest? I must fight always and die fighting With fear an unhealing wound in my breast. Dust When I went to look at what had long been hidden, A jewel laid long ago in a secret place, I trembled, for I thought to see its dark deep fire -- But only a pinch of dust blew up in my face. I almost gave my life long ago for a thing That has gone to dust now, stinging my eyes -- It is strange how often a heart must be broken Before the years can make it wise. The Long Hill I must have passed the crest a while ago And now I am going down - - Strange to have crossed the crest and not to know, But the brambles were always catching the hem of my gown. All the morning I thought how proud I should be To stand there straight as a queen, Wrapped in the wind and the sun with the world under
33 me -- But the air was dull, there was little I could have seen. It was nearly level along the beaten track And the brambles caught in my gown -- But it's no use now to think of turning back, The rest of the way will be only going down.
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