matthew
They say in life there are moments you will always remember. Like the first time I scored a goal at seven, in overtime, in a hockey tournament. Or the time when I got drafted into the NHL. There is even the time when I suited up and scored my first goal as an NHL player. And then there will be this moment. Definitely this moment.
My hand is in Helena’s as we look at a picture of an elaborate altar. She is going on and on about it and how she would have added color into the flowers. When I hear the sounds of heels clicking behind me, the sound coming closer and closer to us, I can see the woman approaching in my peripheral vision. The sun comes into the windows all around her. My head turns in slow motion or maybe that is just how I feel it happens. I blink once, twice, three times, wondering if my head is playing tricks on me.
My vision is almost blurry at this point, or at least that is how it feels, until the woman is standing closer to us. It can’t be. Again, I blink my eyes, hoping to fucking God that this isn’t happening to me right now. I even lift my free hand and rub my eyes to see if it’s all in my head. Sadly, it is not.
My heart is beating so fast and so loud in my ears that all I hear is the thumping it makes. My hands are now getting sweaty, and the heat is rising to the back of my neck. She is looking down at her feet, and when she finally looks up, she spots me and we make eye contact. Full-on eye contact. There is no denying it’s her and not some long-lost twin that everyone has. You know the one everyone is always telling you about but probably doesn’t exist. Yeah, that one.
She stops mid step, and if you didn’t know her, you wouldn’t see the way her eyes light up for one second before the wall comes down, shutting it out. Her eyes go from mine to Helena and then down to our hands. My head is screaming at me while I keep asking myself the question over and over again. What the fuck is she doing here?
“Hello,” Sofia greets when she is standing in front of us. “You must be Helena.” She looks over at her and extends her hand to her. “I’m Sofia.”
“It’s so good to meet you,” Helena says, “this is my fiancé.” She hugs my arm with her hands and looks up at me. “Matthew Petrov. We call him Matty.”
I look over at Sofia and see her blue eyes get a tad darker when she looks at me, everyone calls me Matty, except for Sofia. She always called me Matthew or MVP, but that was as a joke every time I won a game. “Matty.” She extends her hand to mine as if she doesn’t know me, as if we’ve never met. I don’t know how I feel about this. On one hand, I should be happy I don’t have to explain this to Helena, and on the other hand, I’m pissed. Which I shouldn’t be, especially with the way things ended. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” My hand moves up and clamps on to hers, and I swear to God it’s like I’m being electrocuted or something. “Thank you so much for coming in today,” she states, and I can’t help but take her in. Her brown hair is pulled back in a ponytail, but I see the end of her hair is curled and drapes over her shoulder. Her smile is as fake as can be. Trust me, I spent two years knowing the ins and outs of Sofia. No one knew me better than she did. No one knows me better than she does, is more like it. Not even Helena, I don’t know, and I can’t even explain it. With Sofia it was just so easy, me being me never fazed her. “And congratulations on the engagement,” she says, and I see her eyes looking straight down at the ring on Helena’s finger.
“Thank you so much,” Helena replies, and my tongue just keeps on getting bigger and bigger in my mouth. She picks her hand up to look at the diamond in front of her before she turns to smile at me. All I can do is smile back at her. “It was a special surprise.”
I almost laugh because it was not a surprise at all. In fact, she left me subtle messages since the second week we started dating. She was at the peak of her prime and wanted to get married when she would look amazing in her pictures. We’ve been together for nine months and this was the next step, so I thought why not. “That sounds very romantic,” I hear Sofia say, shaking my head.
“Shall we sit down and go over a couple of things?” Sofia suggests, pointing at the round table to the side. “Would you care for anything to drink?” She looks at Helena first.
“I’ll have a bottle of water,” Helena says, “sparkling if you have it, if not still is good.” She nods her head and then has to look over at me. I’m waiting for it, and when she does, I really wish that she hadn’t. Her eyes pierce my soul and make my heart stop in my chest. “He usually has still water.”
“Coming right up,” Sofia declares, turning and walking away from us, disappearing around a wall. I swear, if I could, I would let out a deep sigh and hang my head. I really want to get the fuck out of here. Seeing her it’s just, I don’t even know what to say. I’m surprised. I’m shocked. I’m blown fucking away that she is here. Not only is she here but I’m also going to sit down and discuss my wedding with her. I close my eyes; not even sure I want to think about how things would be if the roles were reversed. I would not be okay with any of this. I guess I would be happy for her, maybe, not sure. My head is going around and around, I’m literally hanging on by a thread.
“What is wrong with you?” Helena hisses to me. “You are acting so freaking weird.”
“No, I’m not,” I scoff at her, shaking my head while my whole body wants to pick up the chair and throw it across the room, right before I run out of here. “I’m fine,” I confirm, walking over to the round table Sofia pointed at before walking out. I pull out a chair and sit down, my foot moving up and down, the nerves just radiating in my body. “Sit down.” I pull the chair beside me out. “Before you agree to anything…” I want to tell her more, but I hear the clicks from Sofia’s shoes coming again.
She holds a silver tray in her hand, coming into the room and spotting us sitting down. She walks over, placing the silver tray down on the table. “I didn’t know if you wanted lemon or lime.” She smiles at Helena as she puts two small plastic containers on the table, each with lemon and lime. “I also didn’t know if you wanted it chilled or not, so I got you both,” she goes on, putting the four bottles on the table, along with a crystal glass for each of us. She sits down in the chair facing us, and I grab the closest water bottle to me, not noticing if it’s cold or hot or fizzy or not.
“Okay, before we start,” Sofia says. She looks at Helena and then looks at me, and I think this is it. This is the moment she is going to say we dated. My heart speeds up even faster and my fingers squeeze the water bottle hard in my hand. She places her hands in front of her, crossing her hands together. Poised. Controlled. Classy. Unlike me, who is now starting to sweat and wondering how long this is going to be. “Why don’t we see if we are compatible?”
Oh, you’re compatible all right, my head screams, laughing.
“That sounds amazing,” Helena says as she grabs a bottle of water, opening it. “As I mentioned to you before, my fiancé is Matthew Petrov.” I close my eyes, knowing where this is headed, I think I even roll my eyes at her. “I’m not sure if you are familiar with his name?”
“No,” Sofia answers, and my eyes snap back to her as she looks at Helena. “That name doesn’t ring a bell.” I want to pfft out and remind her of all the times she called my name while we were together. Dammit, now is not the time for this. I shouldn’t be this affected by her. Not after all this time. I close my eyes to erase the memories that all of a sudden have come full force.
“He plays hockey for the Carolina Whalers,” Helena announces proudly from beside me, and I look over to see her brown eyes shining. Her blond hair is neatly styled with a curl at the end, she is the picture of Southern beauty.
“I don’t watch hockey,” Sofia says and all I can do is look at her, waiting for her to look at me so I can silently call her a liar. “I prefer football instead.” She smiles at Helena, who just smiles and shrugs her shoulders.
“Well, because of his schedule, we would have to be married in the summertime,” Helena explains and all I can do is nod at that.
“Do you know what services you are looking for?” Sofia asks her and Helena just looks at her dumbfounded. “There are wedding planners and there are wedding coordinators.” God, I missed her voice. “A wedding planner assists you in planning the entire wedding or specific wedding activities. What we do is provide you with a list of vendors for the wedding and you tell us if you have a specific vendor in mind, and we will handle all contracts on behalf of you.” Helena looks over at me. “I will be there every single step of the way as soon as you sign the contract until the last guest has left your wedding reception.”
“What does a coordinator do?” Helena asks, and I literally want to get the fuck out of here as fast and as soon as I can. My body feels like it’s been asleep for the past two fucking years, and all of a sudden, every single sense in my body has been awoken.
“A coordinator is there for you for a specific period, be it a month before the wedding or even sometimes two weeks before the wedding. You provide the list of venues and then I make sure everyone shows up,” Sofia says and then she starts talking about other things, but I can’t even concentrate on what she is saying right now. The only thing I can do is beg for this to be over.
“That is something to discuss.” I finally find my words and look over at Helena. “We should discuss things and then we can get back to you.” I turn now to look at Sofia, seeing her smirk and then look down. Everything about her is polished, from the softness of her makeup to the way her nails are manicured. She was always so put together, except when we went riding horses. It was the only time she would let her hair down. It was one of her favorite things to do. I wonder if it still is.
“That is the best way to do it,” she suggests and pushes away from the table now. She stands up and Helena follows her. I put the bottle of water back down on the table, untouched except for the time when I was squeezing the shit out of it.
I stand as Helena walks in front of me to stand in front of Sofia. “If you have any questions,” Sofia says as she walks out with us, “please give me a call. One of the team members will be happy to assist you in any way we can.” She stops walking when we are in front of the door and my heart speeds up for a whole different reason. I’m leaving her and I’m not ready.
“Thank you so much,” Helena replies, holding out her hand to shake Sofia’s, “for taking the time to sit with us and discuss things with me.”
“This is what I’m here for,” she responds, extending her hand to shake Helena’s. “Mr. Petrov,” she says with a tight smile, “it was a pleasure meeting you.”
My hand extends to shake hers, and unlike before, I squeeze her hand just a touch. “We will be in touch.”
She lets go of my hand, but it feels like she’s still holding it as my hand falls to my side. “Well, whatever it will be. Congratulations on the engagement and the best of luck for the wedding.”
I nod at her and look at Helena, putting my hand at the base of her back and ushering her out of the place. The door closes behind me and it takes everything I have not to look back. “We aren’t using her.”