39
IVAN
I tried to be careful. I fucking tried to go slow and be gentle. But having her close, smelling her, tasting her—it was too much.
Did I push her too far? Is she hurt?
Fucking hell, I should have sent her away immediately. The moment we left Alexander McAllister’s, I should have driven her to the airport. She isn’t safe in my life. She isn’t safe with me. Not when being near her turns me this feral.
Then she looks back at me. Just a little peek over her shoulder…
And I know, if she keeps looking at me like that, there’s no goddamn way I can ever let her go.
That’s why I turned her around and finished in her from behind. Because those eyes will be the death of me. Worse yet, they’ll be the death of her.
If she stays in my world, she’ll die. One way or another, I’ll lose her.
At least, if I send her away, she lives.
When it’s over, Cora rolls to face me. “Thank you for saving me.”
“You’re the one who stabbed that motherfucker in the neck. You saved yourself.”
She shakes her head. “No. No, I—You gave me hope. With the phone call that showed me you weren’t an enemy. The bathroom. The texting. The necklace. Everything you did was a little ray of light. I needed all of it.”
“Anything for you,” I whisper back. “I’ll always be there for you.”
It’s a lie. Or, it should be.
Tomorrow, I’m going to let her go.
Tomorrow, I’m going to set her free.
But for tonight, let me lie.
Cora nestles her head against my chest and closes her eyes. Her breathing slows and evens out quickly, but I don’t let go. I hold her while she’s asleep, delaying the moment I have to let her go for as long as I can.
But dawn comes too quickly. Birds sing outside the window. The sun cuts through the shades. Time marches on and reality invades dreams.
Gently, I disentangle myself from Cora limb by limb. As I go, I take my heart with me.
Our time together is done. Soon, she’ll understand why it had to be that way.