3
Shirley's rants about Penelope dominate her conversation with Lennox that evening, as they will many others while he's cooking a Thai chicken coconut curry in the kitchen, she sits at the tiny fold-up table next to the door that opens on to their small yard overlooked by the back windows of similarly poky terraced flats the smell of sliced shallots and minced garlic sizzles in the pan when they moved into the rented flat the couple upstairs complained they'd never smelt anything so disgusting in over seventy years well now you have, Shirley thought, shutting the door on them intelligence is not innate, Lennox, it's acquired, in spite of what Penelope thinks, having a go at me in front of everyone, and she dares to call herself a feminist? Shirley takes a sip of her cold Lucozade this unduly warm May evening I'm not a snob, as well you know, I went to grammar school, come from working-class stock and believe in egalitarianism über alles, not to be confused with being a communist, of course, I know enough about Stalin and Mao to be disabused of any fantasies in that direction at the same time, the truth is that hierarchies of power and privilege won't disappear, every historian knows this, it's innate to human nature and inherent in all societies in all eras and equally manifests in the animal kingdom, so I can't pretend otherwise my job as a teacher is to help those who are disadvantaged Lennox stirs in the red curry paste and grated ginger she admires his straight back, his blue office shirt, collar undone, stomach nicely contained within the parameters of his belt, the rest of his body contoured in all the right places: shoulders, biceps, bum, thighs, calves, courtesy of regular gym visits she'd wanted a man who looked like he could carry her, physically, not metaphorically she'd wanted a man who'd treat her as equal, who was responsible with a sensible career plan (solicitor) and didn't drink (much), smoke (never), do drugs (only once) or gamble (not even the pools) Lennox coats the skinless chicken pieces in the sauce of lemongrass, lime leaves and coconut milk, the meal will be delicious, it usually is as Lennox follows recipes to a T
he doesn't believe in taking risks, neither does she at least grammar schools attempted to level the playing field, Lennox, she continues, and made it possible for brighter children to receive a better education or else those public school boys would still be running the show as if it was the 1890s and not the 1980s Lennox scoops basmati rice out of the value sack they keep in the larder, deposits it in a chipped enamel saucepan of boiling water on the two-ring stove a case in point is our nation's current Commander-in-chief, who'd never have made it to the top of the political pile otherwise, love her or loathe her, it's the principle of social mobility I'm arguing here Lennox chops coriander stalks and sprinkles them on top of their steaming plates, tries out a different international dish most nights, which is the only travelling they can afford while saving for a mortgage they've journeyed through the Mediterranean and the Middle East, and recently leapfrogged over to South East Asia she can't wait to savour the rich creaminess of the curry as it slides down her throat they'll make love tonight, and once they're homeowners, they'll make babies their hips found each other's dancing to Ken Boothe and John Holt spinning on the turntable of a basement blues in Chapeltown with wall-to- wall speakers, a pot of curry goat in the kitchen, and rammed with all the other Afro-Caribbean youngsters who couldn't get past the bouncers of the clubs elsewhere in the city even if they did, were unlikely to hear the music they loved played they got to know each other over the next few months of dating he told her he'd been sent by his Guyanese parents to live in Harlem as a young child, while his newly migrated parents found their feet in Leeds he was raised by his Great Aunt Myrtle, a magazine journalist, who urged him to work hard at school, even if it made him unpopular with his classmates study now and reap the benefits for the rest of your life, she told him
meanwhile his mother progressed from Barney's biscuit and toffee factory at the back of Vicar Lane bus station where it was her job to clean out the vats, to Morrison's mail order warehouse on Marshall Street where she was a packer his father progressed from Robinson's steel works where he worked evenings and weekends to earn a living wage, to Leeds Post Office which offered better hours and pay once they were earning enough, they sent for him and had three more children Lennox returned to Leeds with the belief he could do better than his parents he was a good student at secondary school but soon understood he was seen as a bad person outside it an enemy of the nation on account of his skin colour to be stopped and frisked by the cops, which began when he was twelve and looked fifteen, terrified when these grown men manhandled him in the street in front of everyone, tried hard not to cry, sometimes did their parting shot, on your way, Sunshine, you're lucky this time it was scary, creepy and emasculating, he told Shirley the first time he let his guard down and confided in her, every time it happened I was relieved that I wasn't beaten up or killed in a police van or cell I was a good boy who didn't mix with ruffians or get into fights I started wearing suits outside of school, even though my mates laughed at me and others thought I'd become a Jehovah's Witness I was a good boy who walked to Leeds Central Library every Saturday afternoon to pick up my supply of books for the week because I wanted to be well-read Great Aunt Myrtle drilled it into me to be a person with knowledge, not just opinions I decided to be a solicitor, maybe even a criminal barrister these days when the police try it on, I let them know I'm a lawyer and they think twice about putting their filthy hands where they don't belong Shirley had long felt angry on behalf of her brothers who'd also been harassed by the police since they were young all black men had to learn to handle it, all black men had to be tough
and when the police killed or beat someone, they were allowed to investigate themselves, and exonerated the accused weekly dating with Lennox escalated to cohabitation in their final year; once graduated, they moved to London together Miss Shirley Coleman eventually became Mrs Shirley King Saturday evenings they might catch a film, around midnight a party or club where they danced into the early hours to lover's rock, reggae, soul, funk twice a year they shopped for essentials in the sales, she met up with her group of girlfriends from university about once every two weeks her best friend, Amma, was separate to this arrangement they'd become friends at New Cross Grammar School for Girls with its pipeline to the professional classes of Blackheath and the smarter postcodes of Greenwich, Brockley and Telegraph Hill, rather than the sink estates of Peckham as eleven-year-olds they were subject to the gravitational pull of being the only black girls in their year and standing out because of it Amma was the shyer of the two and Shirley felt protective of her; by their teens, Amma, whose parents were educated socialists (unlike hers who were neither educated nor political), got involved in the local youth theatre, became confident, went down the maverick route, railed against the system Amma came out as lesbian to Shirley at sixteen which was initially quite disgusting it felt like a betrayal of their friendship although Shirley never let on her true feelings because she didn't want to hurt Amma luckily, Amma didn't start wearing men's underpants, or ogling classmates in the showers, nor did she try it on with Shirley, who began to feel self-conscious of her body around her friend, and for a while was wary of sharing a bed when they stayed over in each other's houses in due course she made the decision that so long as Amma didn't fancy her (there were no signs that she did), and so long as she didn't tell anyone, besmirching Shirley's own reputation as lesbian-by-association, it was sort of okay fat chance
when Amma left school she started shouting it from the rooftops as if it was something to be proud of her entire raison d'être was to rail against whatever prevailing orthodoxy she objected to and try to smash it to bits which was impossible, so what was the point? Shirley had to put up with her badge-wearing friend or lose the friendship, she can't not have Amma in her life she loves her as a friend also Shirley doesn't meet many new people, her social circles are from university and fellow teachers, whereas Amma makes new friends from the arty world practically every day, who also become Shirley's friends, of sorts mostly gay, and while she doesn't get it or like it, she finds their unconventionality interesting enough to enjoy their company so long as they're nice to her, and most of them are they're a fascinating, artistic and radical counterpoint to my more practical and responsible existence, she tells Lennox who accuses her of being over-analytical Lennox and Amma have a mutual lovefest, he thinks she's a right character, which makes Shirley feel that she isn't he comes more alive around her, sparring, more jokey and extrovert they tease Shirley for being goody two shoes (as if Lennox isn't himself), nor does he give a fig about Amma's sexuality, his Great Aunt Myrtle was in the closet, according to him she lived for years with Gabrielle, her special friend who died, she kept her photograph on her bedside table he remembers as a child finding a box in a cupboard when he was snooping, which contained photographs of Great Aunt Myrtle and Gabrielle from the thirties – wearing monocles, bow ties, riding jackets, plus fours, smoking cigars he thought they were at fancy dress parties he wishes Great Aunt Myrtle had felt free to be herself, she died not long after he returned to England, if she were alive now, he'd visit and get the truth out of her, tell her he approves, if that's the right word
Shirley likes his open-mindedness, even if she can't agree with him it's not that she's backwards or anti-gay, it's more of a gut response to something that doesn't feel natural even when she tries to reason with her opposition to it.