36
A Moment of Vision
“Get ready,” Nora said, beaming. I barely had time to take a breath before she swung open the conference room door and the entire campaign team leaped to their feet and clapped. “Say hello,” Nora called, “to the woman who saved our asses.”
They cheered even louder. Cary wolf whistled and led a chant of “Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.” I covered my face with my hands, completely overwhelmed. Thanks to the walkout, I’d barely gotten any sleep for the last four days, and now I was bone-tired, which meant I was wearing my heart on my sleeve. Nora only laughed and pushed me into the room.
“Thank you,” I said, as staffers hugged me and clapped me on the back. “Thank you so much.”
“Shh,” someone hissed. “It’s about to start.”
Everyone’s eyes turned to the giant TV that had been wheeled into the corner. Cary grabbed the remote and dialed the volume up as Trisha Smith’s face filled the screen. With everyone’s attention off me, I did a quick scan for Logan. My heart lurched.
“He’s hammering out the details with union reps,” Nora whispered. “Otherwise, he would’ve been here.”
I nodded, forcing my spine to straighten. I’d accomplished the single greatest feat of my career, and nothing would diminish that.
“Trisha Smith here, reporting breaking news from the capitol.” A strong breeze managed to blow some of Trisha’s stiffly styled hair across her face, but she didn’t flinch. “After a statewide teacher walkout led the Texas Tribune to uncover explosive evidence of quid pro quo dealings between Governor Mane and top officials at the Texas Educators Association, the state’s largest teachers union has reversed its endorsement for the second time. By popular demand, the TEA once again endorses Logan Arthur for governor.”
Cheers broke out so loudly it was almost impossible to hear what Trisha said next. “...making history with this reversal. In a stunning move, TEA members protested the actions of their own leadership, staging what ended up being a three-day walkout to protest unfair dealings between Governor Mane and their president and secretary-treasurer. Here to say more is one of the leaders of the walkout, Mrs. Muriel Lopez.”
I nearly clapped when the camera turned to Muriel. She stood in front of her beaming daughter Carmen, who kept trying to pop her head around her mom and get in the shot. Muriel, who dressed for the spotlight every day of her life, was finally getting it. Good for her.
She blinked into the camera with a deer-in-the-headlights expression.
“My mom’s a hero!” Carmen shouted, bouncing behind her.
Thankfully, it jolted Muriel out of her stage fright. “Yes, uh...thank you, Trisha. We were disappointed in the decision Sonny Yarrow and Kai Harris made to endorse Governor Mane, given Logan Arthur is the candidate with a plan to support teachers. We knew we had to make our voices heard. So while it pained us not to go in to work, we needed people to take us seriously.”
“And that they did,” said Trisha. The camera moved smoothly back to her. “Insiders report pressure from the walkout already had the governor’s office scrambling, and the final nail in the coffin came on day three, when the Tribune published leaked emails between TEA President Sonny Yarrow and his golfing buddies, in which Yarrow claimed he’d held Mane over a barrel and, quote, ‘spanked him real good until he gave me and Kai what we wanted.’”
“Tragic,” Cary whispered. “Never trust your secrets to men who golf.”
“Once that story broke,” Trisha continued, “TEA leadership held a virtual town hall and agreed to their members’ terms: a reversal of the endorsement and an ousting of Yarrow and Harris. As for who will replace Yarrow as union president, one key front-runner has emerged: Alexis Stone, who Arthur campaign insiders credit with getting the campaign to make education a top priority.”
“That was me.” Nora winked. “I’m insiders.”
“While Alexis Stone’s reps declined an interview, citing a need for rest, we’re here with her sister, Senator Lee Stone.”
Nerves fizzled in my stomach as the camera turned to Lee. The chyron under her face read Sen. Lee Stone, aka #SadCrawler.
Lee flipped her hair. “Thanks, Trisha. And may I also thank you for including that footage of me crawling to the marathon finish line in CBS 12’s Best News Clips of the Decade documentary, ensuring it will live forever. Please know I can’t wait to return the favor one day.” Trisha blanched, but Lee barreled on. “Alexis has shown real leadership over the last few months. Not just in the walkout, but in consistently amplifying the voices of teachers and school staff. I think she’d make a fine union president if that’s what she wants. In fact, I think she’d make a fine politician.”
“Following in your footsteps,” Trisha prompted.
Lee grinned. “What’s important is that the world is seeing the Alexis Stone I’ve always known. She’s a powerhouse.”
All the hairs on my arms rose.
Trisha squared off with the camera. “Will Alexis Stone be the next TEA president or state senator? More on this story as it develops. Now, back to the studio for a timely Halloween topic: razor blades in your kids’ candy—myth or modern scourge? The answer may surprise you.”
Cary turned off the TV and the volume in the room rose back to a dizzying level.
“Cary, crack open that champagne,” Nora called. “One hour of celebrating, and then I want everyone back to work.”
Cary saluted. “Aye-aye, captain!” He lunged for the minifridge.
“Come on.” Nora tugged me toward the door. “If I know anything about my people, things are about to get weird.”
I followed her out, grateful to escape. I was thrilled we’d pulled off the walkout. And later, I was going to find that news clip of Lee saying I was a powerhouse and play it on repeat. But right now, I was so tired I could barely think.
“Now that I’ve got you alone,” Nora said, hopping up to sit on a cubicle desk. “And we have a brief window of sanity before the next crisis hits, I want to hear what you’re thinking.”
“This might be my exhaustion talking, but what?”
She kicked her legs. “Well, do you want that union job?”
That, at least, was easy. “Not in the slightest.”
Her mouth quirked. “Then where do you see yourself after the campaign? You’ve built all this capital with us. What are you going do with it? Your sister is clearly seeding the ground for you to move into politics. Does that interest you?”
Like every other time I tried to picture what I wanted, there was nothing but white noise. I groaned and pressed my hands to my face. “I don’t know, Nora. I just don’t.”
“You want my advice?”
I peeked through my fingers. “Sure.”
She gave me an appraising look. “I know you’re an introvert, but so are a lot of people in the public eye. I think you have something. I think you could be exactly like your sister. A leader with a bright future.”
I could be like Lee. There was a desire I finally recognized, because it was my oldest one. Just hearing Nora say it out loud brought an embarrassing prickling heat to my eyes. I hastily wiped the moisture away.
Her voice grew softer. “I could help, you know. Taking on campaign challenges is what I live for. We could do it together.”
I’d never been this close. All I had to do was reach out and take what Nora was offering, and I could be a person my father would’ve been proud of. A go-getter, a front-runner, no more second fiddle. All I had to do was say yes, and I could have Lee’s life.
I didn’t want it.
It hit me with sudden clarity: I didn’t want to be a leader, or live a public life, or be in the spotlight. Hell, I was tired of orchestrating shenanigans, and I couldn’t sail through life with the cool, confident nonchalance that always made Lee so enviable. Right or wrong, it wasn’t my way. I didn’t fit into her mold.
And that was okay.
It was more than okay. Dear God, I’d overlaid Lee’s desires, and what I thought my father valued, and what I figured the world wanted from me on top of my own wishes for so long that it had become nearly impossible to know how I really felt. What I wanted. No wonder all I got was white noise when I thought about it. My own hopes and preferences had been buried under other people’s for so long.
Standing in front of Nora in the middle of the empty cubicles, I experimented with lifting their expectations off my shoulders, ignoring the voices that said Lee this or You should really or People will be disappointed. Without the voices, there was nothing left but me. Was it really meant to be this easy? Was I really supposed to think about what would make me happy, and simply listen to the answer?
“I’ve loved this experience,” I said to Nora, feeling it out. “It’s helped me grow, and it’s been amazing to feel like I’m fighting for something. But the truth is...politics isn’t where my heart belongs. I love stories. I always have. And strangely, all this pretending has made me realize that I want to do more of it. Storytelling, I mean.” I thought back to that night at the Fleur de Lis when Logan listened to me embody Ruby Dangerfield, that day in his living room when he asked me if I’d ever thought about writing. He was always so good at seeing me. Maybe better than I’d been at seeing myself. “I think I want to try to write a book.”
I could tell what I was saying was right because it felt like settling into myself. No more fitting into uncomfortable molds.
Nora, who’d been listening stoically, finally smiled. “A writer. I can see that.” A new wave of popping sounds came from the conference room and she shook her head. “They’re on to round two. You better get out of here before they charge out, lift you on their shoulders, and carry you around the room. I’ve seen it happen.”
I blanched and moved to leave.
“Wait—Alexis...”
I stilled.
“My family still doesn’t understand my career. They think I’m nuts for living and breathing politics. But it’s what makes me happy. So I better see you do what makes you happy, and fuck what anyone else says. Otherwise, you’re back in my doghouse.”
I smiled at her. “Nora, you know I wouldn’t dream of disappointing you.”