Chapter 32
Shelby
I sit down in the seat, watching the baseball game that started thirty minutes ago. My leg bounces up and down as the minutes tick by. My stomach rises and falls every single time I think I see him walking to me, but then it turns out not to be him.
My hands shake as my phone pings, and I look down, seeing it's my sisters.
Clarabella: Is he there yet?
Me: No.
Presley: What are you going to do if he doesn't show up?
I put the phone down, not even able to think about what I'll do if he doesn't show up. My eyes are watching the game while I replay the scene this morning over and over in my head. He looked exhausted, and all I wanted was for him to take me in his arms and kiss me. It's been a week since he last kissed me, and at night, if I close my eyes tight enough, I can still feel his lips on mine. I left his office, and I could barely see in front of me. My eyes were filled with tears, and only when I was in the safety of my car did I let the sob come out. I spent the whole day pacing in my office, watching the minutes go by, and it felt like hours. When it was finally time to leave, I changed out of my office clothes and put on black tights with a white T-shirt. Exactly what I used to wear when we would go watch the games together. My jean jacket is rolled up at the sleeves with a baseball hat on my head.
I look at my watch again and see that another thirty minutes have gone by. The pit of my stomach falls when another thirty minutes go by, and it's pretty clear he's not showing up. I put my head down as a tear escapes, running down my cheek. I fucked it up so bad, I think to myself when I wipe the tear off my cheek only to have another escape. I look up and see that the game is literally almost over. This was stupid. I pushed myself on him too much. I should have waited for him to come to me. I regret every single thing that I did the last two days. Camping out almost at his house to catch him. Leaving only to go to sleep and then racing back over. When I saw him get back home, I almost got out of my car and ran over to him. Instead, we had this stupid plan to woo him, which only pushed him farther away.
I feel someone sit next to me, and I look up to see him. "Is this seat taken?" he asks, and I see that he's wearing exactly what he used to wear. His blue jeans and white shirt with a brown jacket.
"That depends," I say as the tears escape me, and I look at him, the smile filling my face.
"On?" His leg is pressed against mine, and a shiver runs through my body. He takes a second to look around. "It's really empty up here."
I laugh through the tears now. "I bought all the seats," I inform him.
He whips his head around to look back at me. "What?"
"Well, if you weren't going to show up, I needed to sulk in private, and then if you did show up, I wanted to have an open conversation without people listening," I state, wondering how this conversation will actually play out. "To be honest, I was thinking you weren't going to show up." I look down.
"I took an Uber here." He starts to talk. "And she got rear-ended by this truck who got rear-ended by another, and it was a clusterfuck and a disaster. She was crying. It was her first day, and then she had to call her mom to come and get her." He shakes his head and laughs. "But I'm here."
"I missed you," I tell him.
"I missed you more," he whispers, putting his arm around my chair, and I turn to face him.
"I'm sorry," I say softly.
"There is no reason for you to be sorry," he says, his hand coming up to cup my face. "I should have given you time to think about things instead of just demanding that we jump into the water." He shakes his head. "And then I had to leave for work, and coming back, all I wanted to do was see you and talk to you, and it just—"
"It hurt you," I say for him. "I hurt you."
"I hurt you," he says softly. "Not coming after you today was the hardest thing I've ever done. There is already gossip about Sheila, and I just didn't want the extra gossip." He looks down. "Plus, I don't know how long PG would have lasted." I laugh.
"I went to see Joseph." I want to make sure that he knows everything. "After I left your house."
"Do I want to know?" he asks as I can see him swallow.
"Well, he's still a dick." I laugh at him. "And he’s jealous of you," I disclose to him.
"No surprise there," he says. "I don't care." He comes close to me, and my heart speeds up. "Shelby," he whispers. "I can't do this if we're a secret."
"I wouldn't want you to be a secret," I tell him. "Not now. Not ever. You deserve more." I smile at him.
"I deserve you," he tells me. "After all this time, I deserve you."
The crowd starts to go crazy, making us look up, and we see ourselves on the screen with a heart around it. "It's the kiss cam," I say, smiling and putting my hand on his leg.
I look up at him. "It's about time," he says, turning and grabbing my face in his hands. "It's about fucking time."