THIRTY-TWO
class="p_body_text">When we finally got to the beach, he didn’t even pause to appreciate it. He got out of the car, took off his shirt and walked straight into her. I’ve been sitting in the sand watching him swim for a while. He’s the only one out in the water right now and I’m the only one on the beach. It’s empty because it’s October and Samson is insane for being in the water when it’s this cold.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">But I get it. He needs it. Years of therapy, rolled up into a swim.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He eventually comes back to me, dropping to the sand next to me. He’s soaking wet and breathing hard, but he looks content. He said very little on the drive here, but I also haven’t asked very much. He’s been deprived of everything he loved for so long, I want to give him time to soak it all in before bombarding him with questions about the last few years.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He glances behind us. “Does no one live in Marjorie’s house?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“No.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He asks because it’s obvious the house hasn’t been taken care of since it’s been empty. There are shingles missing from the roof. Grass grown up around the foundation.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Marjorie passed away in March, so Kevin will probably put it up for sale soon. I hated that Samson wasn’t able to attend her funeral. I know she meant a lot to him. She even visited him a few times before she died.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson repositions himself so that he’s lying in the sand, his head in my lap. He stares up at me with a look of peaceful content. I drag my fingers through his wet hair and smile down at him.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Where’s Pepper Jack Cheese?” he asks.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I nod my head at our house. “He’s an indoor dog now. He and Dad bonded.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“What about you and your dad?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I smile. “We bonded, too. He’s been great.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson brings my hand to his mouth and kisses it. Then he grips it with both hands and presses my palm against his chest, holding my hand there.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Everything fell right back into place with him almost as soon as I laid eyes on him today. It’s like a single minute never even passed. I have no idea what tomorrow holds, but everything I need is tied up in this moment.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“You look different,” he says. “Better. Happier.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I am.” I can feel his heart pounding against my palm. “I’m not gonna lie, I was so mad at you in the beginning, but you were right. It was for the best. I never would have left otherwise.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“It was awful,” he says with a contradicting grin. “Complete torture. I can’t tell you how many times I almost caved and asked Kevin for your address.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I laugh. “Glad to know you thought of me.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Every minute,” he says confidently. He reaches a hand up and touches my cheek. I lean into his palm. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I nod.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Did you date other guys?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I blink twice. I was expecting him to ask me that, but maybe not this soon.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He lifts up onto his arm until he’s face-to-face with me. He reaches around me and presses a comforting hand to the back of my neck. “I’m only asking because I’m hoping your answer is yes.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“You’re hoping I dated other people?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He shrugs. “Not saying I wouldn’t be jealous. I’m just hoping you actually had fun in college and didn’t treat your dorm room like a prison cell.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I dated,” I say. “I even had a boyfriend for a while during junior year.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Was he nice?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I nod. “He was. But he wasn’t you.” I lean forward and kiss him briefly. “I made friends. I went out. I made good grades. And I even loved my volleyball team. We were pretty damn good.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson grins and then resumes his position by laying his head on my thighs. “Good. I don’t regret my decision, then.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Good.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“How’s Sara? Are she and Marcos still together?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Yeah, they got married last year. She’s four months pregnant.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Good for them. I was hoping that would work out. What about his clothing line? Did it ever take off?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I point at a house down the beach. Samson lifts up onto his elbows so he can see where I’m pointing. “That’s their house. They just finished construction on it six months ago.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“That yellow one?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Yep.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Damn.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Yeah, the clothing line is doing well. He has a lot of followers on TikTok, so that gave his merch a huge boost.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson shakes his head. “TikTok?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I laugh. “I’ll show you later when you get a new phone.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Oh, how the tables have turned,” Samson says. He moves until he’s sitting next to me again. He wipes sand from himself. “Can we go see them?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Sara and Marcos? Right now?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Not this second,” he says. “I want more time to catch up with you. I’d also like to see your father. I owe him an apology or ten.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Yeah, that’s not gonna be easy.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I know. But I’m persistent.” Samson wraps an arm around me and pulls me to him. He kisses the top of my head.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“What am I supposed to call you? Shawn or Samson?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Samson,” he says immediately. “I’ve never felt more myself than when I was with you that summer. That’s exactly who I want to be. Forever.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I wrap my arms around my knees and bury my mouth into my elbow to hide my smile.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Where do you live now?” Samson asks me.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I nod my head at my father’s beach house. “Staying with my father and Alana this week, but I have an apartment in Houston. I’m in law school.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“No way.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I laugh. “I am. Just started my first semester in August.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson shakes his head with a mixture of pride and disbelief on his face. “I didn’t know that’s what you wanted to do.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I didn’t know either until you were arrested. Kevin has been really helpful. I’m actually about to start an internship at his office.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson smiles softly. “I’m proud of you.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Thank you.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I took some college classes in prison,” he says. “I’m going to try to get into school somewhere, if anyone will take me.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">His eyes drift away after he says that, like he’s worried for all the challenges he’s about to face.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“What was prison like?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He sighs. “Real, real shitty. I give it a one out of ten. Do not recommend.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I laugh. “What’s the next step? Where are you going to stay?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson shrugs. “Kevin has all that info. Says he set something temporary up for me. I was supposed to call him as soon as I was released, actually.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">My mouth drops open. “Samson! It’s been four hours. You haven’t called him?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I don’t have a phone. I was going to ask if I could use yours, but I’ve been a little sidetracked.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I roll my eyes and take out my cell phone. “If you violate parole over something this stupid, I’m driving you to jail myself.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson brushes sand from his hands and takes the phone after I dial Kevin’s number. Kevin answers after the second ring.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I haven’t heard from him yet,” Kevin says, assuming it’s me calling. “I promised I would call you as soon as I did.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson smiles at me as he speaks into my phone. “It’s me, Kevin. I’m out.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">There’s a pause on Kevin’s end before he says, “This is Beyah’s number. You’re with her?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Yep.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Where are you?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“We’re at the beach.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Can Beyah hear me?” Kevin asks.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Yes,” I say, leaning toward the phone.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I guess you were right about him.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Sure was,” I say with a smile.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I told you you’re gonna make one hell of a lawyer with that kind of commitment,” Kevin says. “Listen, Samson. You listening?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Yep.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“I’m going to email you the information for your parole officer today. You have seven days to check in with him. You’ll find your key under the rock to the right of the trash can.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson glances at me and raises a brow. “What key?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“The key to my mother’s house.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson looks over his shoulder at Marjorie’s home. “I don’t know what you mean.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Yeah, I know. My mother made me promise not to tell you until after you were released, which is why I instructed you to call me as soon as you got out. You follow instructions terribly. The deed is at my office, I can bring it by sometime this week. I tried to do what I could with the house, but life has been busy. It needs a lot of work.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">The look of disbelief on Samson’s face is something I wish I could take a picture. I’m sure the same look is splashed across my own face.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Is this a joke?” Samson asks.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“No. You made some stupid mistakes but you also did a lot of good for a lot of people in that community. My mother being one of them. She thought you deserved to be able to call that place your home because she knew how much you loved it.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson releases a trembling breath and then drops the phone in the sand. He pushes off the ground and walks away from his conversation with Kevin. He pauses near the water and grips the back of his neck.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I pick up the phone and wipe the sand off of it. “Can we call you back later, Kevin?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Is everything okay?”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I watch Samson as he struggles to absorb everything Kevin just told him. “Yeah. I think he just needs a while to process this.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">After ending the call, I walk over to Samson. I stand in front of him and lift my hands, wiping the tears away from his cheeks like he’s done for me so many times.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He shakes his head. “I don’t deserve that house, Beyah.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I take his face in my hands and tilt it until his focus is on mine. “You’ve been punished enough. Accept all the good things life is throwing at you today.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He blows out a quick breath and pulls me in tightly. I don’t let him hug me for long because I’m too excited to find that key. I grab his hand and pull him away from the beach.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">“Come on, I want to see your house.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">We find the key exactly where Kevin said it would be. When Samson goes to insert it into the lock on the door, his hands are shaking. He has to pause for a moment and press his palms into the doorframe. “This can’t be real,” he whispers.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">It’s dark when we walk inside, but I can see the layer of dust on the floors before he flips on a light. There’s a musty, salty smell to the place. But knowing Samson, those are things he’ll have fixed by tomorrow.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He touches everything as we walk through the house. The cabinets, the walls, the doorknobs, all of Marjorie’s furniture that’s still here. He goes into every room and sighs in all of them like he can’t believe this is his life.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I can’t believe it either.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson finally opens the door to the stairwell that leads to the roof access. I follow him up the stairs and onto the roof where he takes a seat. He spreads his legs and pats the area of space between them, wanting me to sit with him.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I lower myself to the roof and then lean back against Samson’s shoulder. He wraps his arms around me, and as beautiful as the view is from here, I squeeze my eyes shut because I’ve missed the feelings I have for him so much. More than I even knew.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I’ve gone so long trying not to feel them, I was starting to worry I no longer felt anything. But the feelings were never gone. They never left. I just forced everything to sleep so it wouldn’t hurt as much.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Every now and then, Samson shakes his head in total disbelief. I’ve known him to be a quiet person since I met him, but he’s never been this speechless around me. I love his reaction. I love getting to witness his life change for the better right before my eyes.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Look at us. Two lonely kids who slipped through all the cracks, but then climbed right back up to the top of the world.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Samson touches my face, urging me to tilt my head back so that I can see him. He’s looking at me in the way I saw him look at me so many times that summer—like I’m the most interesting thing on this peninsula.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">He kisses me, then lowers his head and presses his lips to my shoulder. He rests his mouth against my skin for a while, as if he’s making up for all the years he couldn’t kiss me there. “I love you.”
class="p_body_text_first_indent">Those three words are a simple whisper against my skin, but they provide enough pressure that I feel my heart bone heal completely.
class="p_body_text_first_indent">I lean my head back against his shoulder and look out at the water. “I love you too, Samson.”
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class="p_body_text__and__centre_alignment">The End