THIRTY-ONE
The Punishment
Gray.
This is how I would describe the next two weeks of my life. Grounded, I can only leave the house for school and for some shifts at work, and then I have to return as soon as the dismissal bell rings or after I’m done with my job.
Even though I promised my mom that Ares was out of my life, she still punished me. I am dutifully serving my sentence because she’s right. I didn’t do things the right way. Maybe if Ares was my official boyfriend, I could defend myself. But I can’t expect her to understand that I agreed to be with a guy who doesn’t want a stable relationship.
Yes, the last time I saw him he was nice, but he couldn’t even tell me that he likes me. I don’t expect him to tell me that he loves me; I just need to hear . . . something… words that prove that he does have feelings for me, and it’s not just sexual attraction.
I haven’t heard anything from Ares for two weeks, and I haven’t even looked out of the window to try to see him. What for? What would I gain by doing that? To torture myself more? No thanks, I’ve had enough.
A part of me feels that the conversation with my mom gave me back my strength and everything I threw aside for Ares. Well, not for him, because he didn’t make me—I decided to do it.
The saddest part of this situation? Yoshi.
Surprisingly, it’s not my mom’s slap that makes my heart hurt. It’s Yoshi.
I feel betrayed on so many levels. Yoshi told my mom everything, and it hurts me so much. He’s been my best friend since we were little. He’s always been there, but the fact that he betrayed me—and in such a big way—leaves me with a wound in my heart. I don’t know if he did it because he thought that it was the best thing for me or if it was out of jealousy, but either way it was wrong. You tell someone secrets because you trust them. I trusted him, and he took that trust and destroyed it.
Dani was furious when I told her what he had done. She threatened to hit him along with a couple of other violent things too graphic to describe. I had to calm her down and force her to promise to leave him alone. I don’t want any more drama. I just want time to keep passing, for my wounds to start healing, and for these feelings to go away.
Yes, I want a miracle.
Anyone would think that Yoshi would try to apologize, but he hasn’t. He just avoids me and ducks his head every time I run into him at school. I’ve wanted to confront him, yell at him, slap him, see what excuses he uses, but I just don’t have the energy for it.
Apolo and I have become a little closer, although every time I hang out with him, I can’t help but think about his brother. But I just deal with it. What happened between Ares and me isn’t his fault.
I let out a long sigh. It’s Saturday, and I’m cleaning the house. I feel like a zombie, moving automatically. I can tell I’m a little depressed. I don’t know if it’s because of Ares, the situation with my mom, the situation with Yoshi, or maybe a combination of all three.
Rocky is sitting with his muzzle on his front paws, looking at me as if he knows I’m not feeling well. My dog and I have a connection beyond words. I kneel in front of him and rub his head. Rocky licks my fingers.
“You and me against the world, Rocky.”
Mom appears in the doorway of my room, wearing her nurse’s uniform. “I’m leaving. I have a night shift today.”
“Okay.”
“You know the rules: don’t go out and no visitors unless it’s Dani or Yoshi.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Her hard expression softens. “I’ll call you from time to time on the landline.”
That pulls me out of my numb state. “Are you kidding?”
“No, I trusted you, and you used that to party and bring boys to the house.”
“Mom, I didn’t commit a crime, I just—”
“Quiet. I’m late. I expect you to behave.”
A forced smile forms on my lips as I clench my fists at my sides. I can’t believe this is happening. My relationship with my mother has fractured, and it’s all because of Yoshi.
What gave him the right to tell my secrets to my mother?
Night falls, enveloping my room in darkness. I don’t even want to move to turn on the lights. I’m surprised to hear the doorbell ring. I look through the little peephole in the door and see my former best friend waiting impatiently. He’s wearing his favorite sweater and a wool hat. His glasses are slightly fogged up. It must be a bit cold outside. Autumn has already arrived, leaving the hot summer behind.
I think about not opening the door, but I can’t leave him out in the cold either.
“I know you’re in there, Raquel. Open up.”
Reluctantly, I open the door and turn my back on him to head to the stairs. I hear the door close behind me.
“Raquel, wait.” I ignore him and keep walking. I climb the first step and he grabs my arm, turning me toward him. “Wait!”
I slap his hand away. “Don’t touch me!”
He raises his hands. “Okay, just listen to me. Give me a few minutes.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“It’s a lifetime of friendship; I deserve a few minutes.” I gave him a cold look. “Give me five minutes, and then I’ll leave you alone.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “Talk.”
“I had to do it, Raquel. You were gawking at that guy. Do you have any idea how much it hurt me to watch him use you repeatedly while you let him? I grew up with you. I care about you.” He touches his chest. “Regardless of how I feel about you, you’re my best friend. I want the best for you.”
“And telling my mom was the solution? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“It was the only thing I could do. If I had tried to talk to you, you wouldn’t have listened to me.”
“Of course, I would have.”
“Be honest, Raquel. You wouldn’t have. You would have said I was jealous, and you would have ignored me because you’re so fucking blind with love that you can’t see beyond your nose.”
“You have two minutes left.”
“Remember what you said to me last Christmas? When you told me it was time to forgive my father?”
I tighten my lips because I do remember. Yoshi’s dad had messed up big time with them, and Yoshi was furious. I advised him to at least listen to his dad’s side of the story.
“No, I don’t remember.”
His expression falls. “I was furious with you, I shouted at you: ‘How can you take his side? What kind of a friend are you?’ And you told me: ‘A true friend is one who tells you the truth to your face, even if it hurts.’”
I don’t like it when someone uses my own words against me. “That was different. I talked to you. I didn’t go gossiping and meddling with your father.”
“Yes, you talked to me, and I listened to you. You wouldn’t have listened to me, Raquel. I know it, and you know it too.”
There is a moment of silence. “Your time is up,” I tell him and turn away.
I hear him mutter defeatedly. “Rochi . . .”
“My name is Raquel.” My voice comes out colder than I expected. “Thank you for the explanation. Regardless of your reasons, you destroyed years of trust in a flash, and I don’t know if it’s something that can ever be restored. Good night, Joshua.”
I leave him there at the bottom of the steps, and he looks like a gentleman waiting for his lady to come down the staircase. Except that he took it upon himself to destroy any chance with said lady. When I get to my room, I hear him close the front door. I let out a big sigh and walk to my window.
The window that started it all.
“Are you using my Wi-Fi?”
“Yes.”
“Without my permission?”
“Yes.”
Idiot.
A sad smile crosses my lips. I sit down in front of my computer, and the memory of Ares kneeling in front of me, fixing the router, comes to mind. I glance at the window, and I can almost see him. I shake my head.
What’s wrong with me?
Stop seeing him everywhere, it’s not healthy.
With nothing to do, I go on Facebook. Well, not my personal Facebook. It’s a fake one that I created to check on Ares. I know, I’m a hopeless case. In my defense, I created that account a long time ago and haven’t used it since. But now that I’ve blocked Ares from my personal Facebook, I have to use the fake one again.
It won’t hurt me to check his page, will it? There’s nothing to lose. His profile has no new posts, only photos where other people have tagged him. The most recent one is from Samy’s account, as you might expect. In the photo they’re at the movies, and she’s laughing with her mouth full of popcorn while his hand is raised as if he was feeding her. In the post she wrote: Movies with this guy who brightens my days.
Ouch.
My heart gives a pang, but I keep scrolling down. All I see are posts of people tagging him with pictures of the soccer game two weeks ago and congratulating him, telling him how great he is. I roll my eyes. Keep feeding his ego, as if he’s not arrogant enough already.
Taking one last look at the picture with Samy, because obviously I’m a masochist, I close Facebook and go to sleep.
I don’t want to think anymore.
My cell phone wakes me up. I half open one eye and my eyelid trembles with the effort. It’s still dark, what time is it? The phone keeps ringing and I stretch out my hand toward my nightstand, knocking everything over in the process.
I answer without even looking at the screen.
“Hello?”
“Good morning,” my mother’s voice replies. “Get up.”
“Mom, it’s Sunday. Did I also lose the right to sleep in?”
“I’m not off shift today until after noon, please finish cleaning the house, and get the laundry started.”
“Understood.”
Hanging up, I brush my teeth and go downstairs. The doorbell rings, startling me. Is Joshua back? If he thinks coming to see me every day will get him anywhere, he’s wrong.
The doorbell rings again and, growling, I shout, “I’m coming!”
I really don’t have the energy to deal with Yoshi right now. The doorbell rings again, and I rush to open the door. What hits me first is the chilly air, and then surprise at the person in front of me. It’s the last person I expected to see.
Ares Hidalgo.
My heart skips a beat and starts pounding like crazy. Ares is standing in front of me, looking as if he didn’t sleep a second last night. His hair is messy, and there are big dark circles under his pretty eyes. He’s wearing a white shirt that looks wrinkled and the first few buttons are undone.
A goofy smile forms on his lips.
“Hello, Witch.”