Thirty
He’s here.
Todd the asshole boss. Todd who somehow continues to make my life hell. I don’t understand why he’s here until I see his blond friend from the art gallery smiling and air-kissing the hell out of the room.
“You’d rather what?” Sam sees me shiver. “You’re cold. The wind’s picking up. Shall we go in?”
“I like it out here.” I can’t stay on the balcony all night but I need a few minutes to collect myself. Dealing with Todd will require a plan. A solid plan that I currently do not have.
Sam runs his hand down the goose bumps on my arm but says, “Whatever you want.”
The balcony is separated from the main event space by a wall of windows, but it’s darker outside than in, so I know I’m not visible to the crowd. I keep my breath controlled and even, forcing my body to calm itself even though my palms are so damp that Sam makes a face when he touches my hand. “About Robin,” he says before he squints through the windows. “Oh, can you give me a moment? That’s my old friend Dmitri. I haven’t seen him in years.” He gestures to a man inside wearing a bow tie.
I nod to Sam to show he can go off and talk with his friend—and regret it instantly.
Because Todd comes out to the balcony seconds after Sam exits to check the space for someone worthy to talk to. I’ve no place to hide.
He recognizes me instantly and strides over. “Gracie, all alone out here. You’re looking good.” How did I never notice he looked like a wolf with his shaggy hair and the wide mouth filled with big teeth? He’s a wolf and I’m a lamb. “That long hair. I approve.”
He knows that under this perfect makeup and styled hair and expensive Chanel getup, I’m only Gracie.
“You should have dressed like this for work,” he says.
He shifts closer, too quick for me to back up. So I don’t. I stand my ground even though it means he’s near. I don’t grant him the power to make me move, and that small, unintended gesture reminds that I’m not a lamb at all. I won’t be the same vulnerable Gracie who left his office a month ago. That distance has given me enough space that I can keep my head even though my teeth are about to start chattering.
I channel Fangli, with no smile and astonishment he would be so rude as to approach me. “Excuse me. Who are you?”
His fingers slip down to encircle my wrist tightly enough to press the bracelets into my skin. “Come off it, Gracie. I don’t know what game you’re playing but I always knew there was a bad girl under those thick sweaters and submissive look.”
He’s so fucking gross. Why didn’t I see this before? How did I let this piece of shit beat me down so badly? I feel the weight of the wig on my head, the delicate straps of the leather heels cutting into my ankles. He might treat me like Gracie, but I’m Fangli here.
“I’m talking to you, Gracie.” Todd gives me a little tug when I don’t answer, and I shift my gaze down to where his hand encircles my wrist. Fangli wouldn’t put up with this treatment. Neither would Anjali, although she’d probably opt for breaking Todd’s nose.
I won’t put up with it either.
I flick his hand off. “I don’t care,” I say. It comes out in a scalpel-sharp voice I recognize from one of Fangli’s dramatic roles.
“What did you say?” He leans in too close but I don’t move. Instead I keep silent and stare him down.
And I see what I missed for so long.
Standing in front of me on the dim balcony, Todd is nothing but an empty man-shaped shadow surrounded by the lights shining from thousands of windows in the city skyline. With the filter of fear stripped away, I recognize him for what he is: a mediocre and blustering bully who I despise. I take a deep breath and let all my fear go, because he’s not worth it.
I don’t need to answer him.
I turn to leave Todd stewing in his impotent rage on the pretty balcony but although I’m done with him, Todd doesn’t think he’s done with me. I feel a heavy hand land on my shoulder just as I spot Sam stepping through the doorway, a frown growing between his brows.
Twisting back sharply enough to knock his hand aside, I give Todd my most unimpressed look. Sam’s beside me now and his presence bolsters my confidence. I can almost feel the strain he’s under to keep cool but he waits for me to handle the situation.
Todd glares at me. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but it doesn’t matter how you dress yourself up—you’re the same boring girl you always were. You should be grateful I even bothered to look at you.”
“No.” I glare back. “No, that’s not something to be grateful for at all.”
God, that feels good. Over his shoulder, I see the woman who welcomed us watching with a dark look on her face. She’s speaking into her walkie-talkie. A security guard materializes beside her seconds later and they both walk over to us, expressions hard and eyes trained on Todd.
Todd sees her and glances over at me with a look of almost hilariously misplaced triumph. “Get her out of here,” he says, pointing at me as they approach. “She doesn’t belong here.”
The security guard doesn’t even hesitate. “Let’s go, sir.”
I take in that beautiful moment as Todd smirks at me, right before he understands what’s going on. Then he looks between me and the guard. “What?”
“Time to go, sir.” The guard looks at me. “Ma’am, do you want us to call the police so you can press an assault charge?”
It’s like Todd really doesn’t get it until he looks at the event woman, her lip curled in disgust. He turns back to look at me and…crumples. It’s like watching a bag deflate in slow motion.
I pretend to consider what the guard said, although I know that I can’t. Fangli’s image needs to be considered. “Banning him from all events will do.”
Todd’s face goes red as I refuse to move or look away.
I’ve won.
I turn away first, giving him my back. He’s not worth my time.
“He’s gone,” Sam says after a moment. I nod but I’m listening to the people around me as the crowd spills out to the balcony. The moment with security has not gone unnoticed.
“What was that about?”
“The nerve of that guy.”
“That’s Wei Fangli. I heard she’s a real bitch.”
“For what, not wanting to be pawed by that pig?”
“Did you see that?”
Sam’s touch on my arm reminds me to straighten my back and keep my expression neutral. Todd’s gone but my triumph is dampened by the knowledge that this might rebound on Fangli.
Sam quells the murmuring with a frown that makes me tense, and it’s not even directed at me. He takes me to the side, out of sight of others on the balcony, and wraps his arm around me. “What happened? Do we need to go?”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You’re shaking. That was your old boss, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
Sam’s expression hardens. “Tell me the whole story. All of it.”
The sordid tale spills out. “I don’t know why I couldn’t stand up to him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I couldn’t lose my job and I didn’t want to accept it was happening.”
Sam tucks my head under his chin. “Gracie. It’s all on him. Not you.” He pauses. “Can I tell you a story?”
“Yes.” I want to get my mind off this mess.
“I told you about my mother and how she wants me to take over the production business.”
“You did.”
“She also tried to get me my first job. I said no, I was going to change my name and do it myself.” He leans us against the railing, the wind lifting up our hair. “She warned me against a certain acting coach and I was sure, because I was a teenager, that she was lying to me so I’d fail and have to come back to her.”
“What happened?”
“I went to meet the coach. She was famous and everyone knew if she agreed to take you on, you were special. It was her and me.” He sighs. “Then she told me to sit down and she put a hand on my thigh. High on my thigh.”
“How old were you?”
“Eighteen.”
“What did you do?”
He laughs and it’s the same tone that I have when I think of Todd. “Nothing at first. Maybe it was in my head. I didn’t want to make a fuss. I didn’t want her to think I was a little kid.”
“Did she stop?”
Sam looks at me, mouth turned down. “Do you think she would? Did your boss?”
“No.”
“What I realized later was it’s not only sex. It’s power. She saw a vulnerability in me and took advantage.”
“I’m weak, is what you’re saying.” I move further around the side of the balcony and Sam follows. We’re now completely hidden from the crowd.
“I think Todd saw you care about people and you avoid calling attention to yourself. He saw a chance.”
This is too true for me to debate. “Did the acting coach… I’m sorry.” I suddenly realize I’m prying.
“I managed to drop the script, and when I bent to pick it up, I pretended to fall off the chair, muttered my apologies, and ran out.”
“Smart.”
“I felt like an overreacting idiot until I went back and told Fangli and Chen. We knew there was no point in telling the instructors so they helped me talk it through, process it. That was that.”
“What about the coach?”
“Faded into obscurity after she got caught misreporting her taxes.” He smiles broadly. “I might have been the one to report her.”
“They say revenge doesn’t make you feel better.”
“Do they? Felt pretty great to me.”
Sam’s story encourages me about the situation but I still feel like past me was gutless. “I should have…”
He puts a finger on my lips. “Fuck shoulds.”
“But…”
“Gracie, you are perfect as you are. It’s not a bad thing to want to keep peace in your life and care for the people in it. That a bad person can manipulate it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. To be kind and generous is a gift.”
“Please take your seats.” I hear an usher politely herding people into the main room. “We’re about to begin.”
In our secluded side alcove, Sam and I ignore him.
“Todd knows I’m Gracie when I’m dressed like this, as Fangli.” I point to the tube top.
“Did you admit it?”
I think. “No.”
“Then forget Todd.” He puts his finger under my chin to lift my face. “You’re beautiful inside and out. Don’t let a person like him extinguish any of you. You should be proud of yourself.”
“Thank you.” My reply is barely a whisper.
“Gracie.” He’s so close. The breeze from the lake licks my skin where he pushes my hair back behind my shoulder.
“Sam?” I don’t move for two reasons. The first is that my knees are so shaky that if I move, I might fall over. The second is that I want him to make the choice. I want Sam to close the distance between us.
He doesn’t make me wait long before he presses his lips to mine, butterfly soft and so fleeting I wonder if it happened. Then he pulls back, only a bit, as if to gauge my reaction. “Gracie?” he asks. “Is this…this is good?”
“God, yes.” I wrap one arm around his neck and grab his arm with the other as I rise up on my toes. I can feel the smile on his lips disappear as I lean into him for a proper kiss, the one I’ve been craving ever since I saw him on that stupid magazine cover. His mouth slots perfectly into mine and this time, it’s real. Sam is kissing me, Gracie. Not Fangli. His arms are wrapped around me, and he kisses me again. Hidden on a balcony overlooking a dark lake, he kisses me until all I can think of is Sam.
This is all real. I can feel it’s real. I know it’s real. It has to be.