Chapter 25
Bennett
The conference room is full. Every single chair is taken as we work through the merger. Bottles of water are all over the table, and my neck is killing me from staying in the same spot for the past ten hours. I look up and see all of the tired faces. “We are in the home stretch, people." They all look up at me. “Why don't we take ten?"
There are so many sighs of relief when I say that, it takes a second more for all of them to push away from the table and stretch their legs. I get up and go into my office. My head is throbbing softly, my back is killing me, and all I want to do is close my eyes. I spent zero minutes sleeping last night. Zero. I lean back in the chair and close my eyes. “I guess you’re as tired as I am?" My eyes flutter open to see Clarissa leaning against the doorjamb.
"Hopefully we can get this done in the next hour and then you can go back home." I rock in my chair back and forth.
"Music to my ears." She smiles. “Thank you for inviting me yesterday. It was a blast." She huffs, “And I'm still full."
I laugh at that because, knowing Harlow and her family, she probably had to eat five times the food just to please them. “Not a problem," I say. “Hope you had fun."
"It was so much fun." She pushes off from the doorjamb. “I'm going to go and step outside and see if I can spot the sun."
I close my eyes again for just a second. Maybe bringing her to the birthday party wasn't such a great idea. It was only when I got there and I found out that Presley thought she was my date did it really make me second-guess inviting her. It also didn't help that Mrs. Baker spent the majority of the day glaring at me from across the room. That mixed in with the conversation with her sisters and then finding out that she dipped out early, I was a fucking mess.
"Five minutes!” I hear someone yell from the hallway and open my eyes, grabbing my phone to see if I missed anything. My heart stops when I see that I have a text from her sent about eight hours ago.
Gorgeous: Can you call me when you have a minute? Everything is fine; just wanted to ask you something.
My fingers are typing her back at the same time that I hold my breath.
Me: Still at work, will call you as soon as I leave.
My foot starts to move up and down when I see the three dots pop up and then another message comes in.
Gorgeous: Okay. I'll wait for your call.
I look down at the screen. Since when has she ever waited for my call? "Okay, people," I hear from the hallway. “Let's get this show on the road." I get up from my chair, bringing my phone with me, just in case she texts me back and it's actually an emergency. The nerves take over the pit of my stomach. I sit back in my chair in the conference room.
"Let's get the show on the road," I urge, trying to pump everyone up. I look around the table and see all of them focusing on the papers in front of them. "As soon as we are done with this, we can take the next two days off." All of the heads snap to look at me. “That's what I like to see," I joke. “Motivation."
"If we finish this in an hour," the other partner says, “I'll add two days to that."
"If we finish in forty-five minutes," I counter. "We get the week." I clap my hands. "Now let's go."
My team does not play when it comes to time off. It takes us less than forty-five minutes to finish the rest of the merger. All notes have been entered, and when I get up forty-four minutes later with the file in my hand, I walk out, proud of the work that we just poured three weeks into. I huff out as I walk out of the conference room and head to my office. Putting the file down and grabbing my things, I am one of the last ones to walk out of the office.
It's as dark now as when I got here this morning. I slip into the car and start it, pulling up Presley's name. Everything inside me is trembling, everything from my hands to my heart. The sound of ringing fills the car, and she picks up after two rings. “Hello?" Her voice comes out softly.
"Hey," I say, my voice trembling. “Sorry, I just got out of the office." I pull away from the office and make my way home. “We were finalizing a merger."
"Oh, yeah, no worries," she says. “I was…" She stops talking. “Um…" I can tell she's nervous about something. “I was wondering if we could talk."
"Um, yeah. I'm on my way home now. How is tomorrow?" I suggest, and I pull up to my house and see her sitting outside on my steps. I stop, and she looks at me. Her hair is loose and she is wearing a baby-blue flowered dress. She looks beautiful and she glows.
"How about now?” she asks, and I pull into the driveway. She disconnects the phone, and I get out, leaving my phone in the car.
"How long have you been here?” I ask, walking up the steps.
"I want to say not long," she says and then looks over at the bag of food beside her. “But Clarabella had to drop off food." She wrings her hands.
"Is everything okay?” I ask, suddenly worried that something happened and she wanted to do this face-to-face.
"Yeah." She gets up, and the dress falls to her ankles. “It's just, I kind of have something to talk to you about, and if I didn't come here, I don't know if I would have the courage tomorrow."
"Why don't we get you out of the heat?" I tell her, walking past her and ignoring the way that my head is spinning. I open the door and step in with her following me. I turn on the lights in the kitchen. “Do you want some water?"
"No." She shakes her head. “If I drink I'm probably going to throw up." She puts her hand to her stomach.
"Do you want to sit?” I ask, and she just looks at me.
"How much time do we have?” she asks, and I tilt my head to the side. “Like, is your date coming over?"
"I'm not dating anyone," I tell her. “Clarissa works for the firm, and she's here to help with the merger. She is happily married to her husband."
"What?" she gasps. “Why didn't you lead with that yesterday?"
"Why would you think I was on a date to begin with?" I counter her with my question.
"Because you showed up with her?" She throws her hands in the air. “What else would I think?"
"I would think that you would know how I feel about you." I put my hands on my hips.
"About that." She tries to joke, but I see her lower lip tremble. “I think I messed up." She says the words as if she is in pain. “Oh, God," she says as she puts her hand to her forehead. “This is a lot harder than I thought it would be." My feet stick to the floor in my kitchen with an island between us. My head is going around and around as I try to figure out what the fuck she was saying. "When my father died…" She starts and then I can see the tears form in her eyes and she wipes them away. “I saw my mother go through every single day with something missing. She would pretend she was okay, she still does, but at night when she would climb into bed, I would hear her talking to him through the wall. She would literally go over her whole day." I can't even imagine how I would have handled that. "And then in the morning, it would be like it never happened."
"Gorgeous," I say to her, but she shakes her head and holds up her hand.
"If you interrupt me, I won't say what I need to say," she says. “What you deserve to know. I vowed I would never fall in love because losing it would have broken me." She wipes off her cheeks, but the tears keep rolling down them. “I just never wanted to rely on someone so much that if they left, half of me would leave with them." She chuckles. “And then, well, my siblings didn't help that at all. Watching Travis, Clarabella, and Shelby getting their hearts broken, and here I was with the only guy I've ever been with." Her voice shakes. “So I fought it because if I said how I felt, it would be taken away from me. It would be ripped from me, and then I would be just like my mother." She looks down, and I see her hands shaking. “Bennett, I won't be able to survive without you." She smiles through her tears. “The minute that I admit what I'm so scared to admit, it’ll be the end of us, and I don't think I can survive. These last weeks have been hell, one thousand percent the worst days of my life, and if it wasn't for the baby, I don’t know where I would be. Last night at home, I felt the baby kick for the first time," she says with a beaming smile, and I can't help the smile that fills my face. “At first, I thought it was in my head, but then I drank more apple juice, and it was not in my head." Her smile fades. “And all I wanted to do was call you. All I wanted was for you to be there with me. All I wanted was…" She trails off.
I swallow down the lump in my throat as the words she's just said spin around in my head. “In the hospital room, I told you."
"You told me you loved me at the same time that I was scared to lose our child," she snaps. “The whole reason I didn't call you was because I thought you would hate me if anything happened to the baby." Oh my God, it’s my turn to put my hands in front of my mouth. How could she even be thinking that?
"I would never…" I start to say to her, but she cuts me off.
"I know that, but can you imagine being the reason you lost the baby?" she says softly. “That day you were so happy and then…" She trails off.
"What are you saying to me?” I ask, wanting to hear it, wanting her to admit what I've known in my heart this whole time.
She takes the biggest inhale I've ever seen. Her chest rising and falling, her hands shaking. “I'm saying that I'm in love with you." She puts her hand to her mouth to stop the sob. “I'm saying that I love you, and I'm in love with you. I'm saying that I want this, me and you. This is what I want." She shakes her head and looks down at her hands. “And I get that I might be too late and that you may have moved on." She looks back up at me. “I don't even know what I would do if the roles were reversed." She smiles sadly. “I mean, my sisters would probably burn down your house and put fire ants in your bed."
I can't help but laugh at that. “I can only imagine."
"So this is it." She extends her hands to the sides. “Me admitting what I should have told you in the hospital room."
"Why now?” I ask.
“Well, one, you brought a date to my brother's house." She holds up her finger. “And two, I'm tired of living without you. I'm tired of telling myself that I'm not in love with you when I am." All I can do is look at her. This woman who pushes me to the edge of the cliff and makes me want to jump off. The woman who I will love for the rest of my life, regardless if I'm with her or not. “These past couple of weeks have shown me that, well, I'm a dumbass, and that I've put you through all of this for nothing. I know it's a lot to take in, and I really hope you can forgive me. So…" She points behind her. “I'm going to leave to give you your space and wait for you to think about what you need to think about."