25
CORA
I hear my name. My name. Spoken by a voice I’ll have to die to forget. And maybe not even then.
“Cora.”
Without another thought, I unbolt the door and throw it open.
Ivan pushes through the door and locks it behind him in an instant. He does exactly what I worried Mikhail would do, but instead of panicking, I throw myself at him.
I plaster my body to Ivan’s in every conceivable way, trying to touch as much of him as I can. The more of him I touch, the less likely it is that this is some kind of vivid daydream.
If every part of me touches every part of him, then this has to be real.
“Ivan,” I breathe.
Help me, is what I’m really saying. Save me.
His hands smooth across my shoulders and down my spine. My face is pressed into his chest as I take deep breaths of him. We’re in a public restroom, but he smells like fresh air. Like nighttime and sandalwood.
I squeeze my eyes closed just in case this actually is a dream. If it is, I never want to wake up.
“Cora.” He curls a hand around the back of my head and runs his fingers through my hair.
“How are you here?”
“I was on my way to meet Francia for lunch. I saw you walk past the back door.” He chuckles to himself in disbelief. “I thought it was a dream.”
Cautiously, I crack one eye open and peek up at him.
His eyes are bright, cloudless. He’s staring down at me like he can’t believe I’m in his arms. For some reason, that is enough to convince me this is real. Because I would never in my wildest dreams imagine Ivan could look quite this stunned.
He’s here.
Ivan Pushkin is standing in front of me, alive and real.
The enormity of it slams into me and, before I can stop myself, I hook my hands around his neck and kiss him.
His mouth fits against mine the way I knew it would. Then his tongue swipes across my lower lip and there is suddenly nothing at all comfortable about the gnawing ache in my stomach. One flick of his tongue and my body is on fire.
“I missed you,” I gasp against his mouth. “I want you.”
I arch against him. I feel how much he wants me pressed against my stomach. I slip my hand between us, stroking him roughly.
“Fuck.” He presses his stubbled cheek against mine. His breathing is heavy in my ear.
I am cataloging every detail of this. Of him. The million tiny things I didn’t know if I’d ever experience again.
It all feels so precious. But I can feel it slipping through my fingers. Time is short and I don’t want to waste a second of it.
I stroke him again, drawing a deep groan from his chest. Then I move to unbutton his pants.
But Ivan grabs my wrist. “We can’t. Fuck, I want to, but—” His forehead drops to mine. I look into his eyes, but the amber is gone, devoured by dark desire. “When I’m inside you again, Cora, I’m going to take my time. It’s something that can’t be done in a few minutes. I need hours. Days. A whole fucking lifetime.”
My whole body warms. I trail my hand over his chest and cup his cheek. “You can’t talk to me like that and expect me to wait.”
He huffs out a soft laugh. “Who said anything about waiting?”
I’m about to ask what he means when he spins me around and presses me to the tile wall. Slowly, so slowly, he kisses his way down my body and drops to his knees.
A dark tendril of hair falls over his forehead as he looks up at me.
I’m absolutely positive there is no sight more beautiful in all the world than this mountain of a man on his knees.
Then he pushes my dress up around my waist and I can’t savor anything. I don’t have the brain space for it. All I can focus on is the heat of his breath against my damp panties. The scrape of his beard against my inner thigh.
He hooks my leg over his shoulder and I melt back against the wall. I’m balanced between him and the tile, which is good, because I don’t think I can stand on my own.
Then he shoves my panties to the side and I moan.
Suddenly, I realize that there is no way I’ll be able to get through this without screaming. There is no way we can do this without me alerting every human within a ten-mile radius that Ivan is eating me out like his life depends on it.
“Wait!” I tug on his hair, trying and failing to pull him away from the ache between my thighs. “Wait. I can’t—I’ll scream, Ivan. I can’t—”
He reaches up and presses a palm flat over my lips. “Save your screams, solnishka. Save them for when they count.”
I kiss the tip of his finger just as he kisses my clit. He flicks his tongue against me and then delves deeper. He tastes me in long strokes, lapping from top to bottom and bottom to top and kissing every point along the way.
I writhe under his touch. “Ivan,” I gasp, raking my fingers through his silky soft hair.
He strokes his hands up and down my thighs. He reaches under my dress and grips my waist. One hand curls over the lace of my bra, kneading my breast.
He’s everywhere all at once. All I can do is press back against the wall and take it.
“You taste so fucking sweet,” he growls. I feel the vibration at my core. Goosebumps sprout across my skin.
“I need you,” I whimper, clutching my leg around his neck to draw him closer. “I need you inside of me. I need to feel you. I need—”
Ivan slides a finger inside of me. It isn’t what I meant, but I gasp anyway. My hips jerk, taking in even more of him.
“Like that,” he says. “Ride it, Cora.”
I grind myself against his hand, slowing slightly as he adds another finger and then a third.
He pumps his hand into me and flicks his tongue across my clit. His other hand is still kneading my breast, working me from every angle.
I don’t want it to end.
The last few days have been a nightmare. I was beginning to worry that the rest of my life would be stumbling through the darkness, desperate to find the light.
But here it is. The light.
“I’m so c-close.” I tug on his hair and arch against his mouth. “I’m so… Right there… Please don’t…”
Ivan hooks his fingers inside of me, setting off nerve endings I forgot existed, and boom, I explode.
Pleasure overflows from me in mindblowing pulses that take my breath away. There’s no lung capacity left for me to scream. It takes every bit I have just to keep breathing.
I squeeze my eyes closed as the world spins out of control.
Gently, he works me down from the climax. His fingers slow and his tongue eases me down. Finally, he works my leg off of his shoulder and lowers my dress. All I can do is collapse into his arms, a puddle of Cora left behind where prim and proper Cordelia was just a few minutes ago.
“What about you?” I whisper into his chest.
“If you think that wasn’t for me, then you’re fucking insane.” He grips my chin and kisses me. His lips are slick with me and I press into the kiss harder.
His tongue slides into my mouth. I start to lose myself in him. But now, the frenzied desire has passed and my mind has a little more room to think clearly.
I pull back, pressing a hand to his chest. “Don’t ruin my makeup. I have to—I have to go back out there.”
“Leave it,” he orders. “Let me take it off. Let me take everything off.”
“Mikhail is here,” I protest. “He’s right out there in the dining room. If he sees me like this, he could… I don’t know what he’d do.”
He growls. “Nothing. If he touches you, I’ll kill him.”
“Funny. I just thought the same thing before you got here.” I press my cheek to his chest and listen to the consistent thudding of his heart. “I want to stay here with you. But he’s out there. Waiting.”
Ivan strokes my hair. “Francia is probably here by now, too.”
That means we should leave. The rational part of my brain is shouting at me. You should go before you run out of time.
If Mikhail comes looking for me, there is nowhere to hide Ivan. He should get out of here while he still can.
“Oh,” I say, an idea taking root. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner. “You should… Oh my God, take me with you! Right now. Ivan,” I gasp, grabbing his hands, “let’s get out of here. We can leave and—”
“If there was any chance I could get you out of here today, I wouldn’t have touched you.” He grips my hips in frustration. “I would have waited until we were back at my house. In my bed.”
My skin heats again. It’s good to know he was thinking clearly, at least. As soon as I saw him, I had to touch him. I forgot about everything and everyone else.
“Why is there no chance?”
“I have no idea how many guards Mikhail has with him and I’m by myself.”
My hopes deflate. “There are at least five Sokolov guards with us today. Maybe more.”
“I could call in a team, but there’s so much we wouldn’t know. I’m not going to escape with you into a situation I haven’t scouted. I’m not going to risk your life like that. Not when I have a better plan taking shape.”
I fall against him, my forehead pressed to his chest. “I want this to be over, Ivan. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
He takes a deep breath and then pulls me away. He leans down and looks into my eyes, his mouth a serious slash. “You are Cora fucking St. Clair.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“It means everything. Everything, Cora.” He squeezes my shoulders. “You are going to clean yourself up and walk back in there like nothing happened.”
I shake my head. “I’m not like you. This isn’t my world. I don’t know how to do any of this.”
“You are. It is. And you do.” He presses a kiss to my forehead, his lips lingering there before he finally pulls away. “I have to go. But I’m going to see you soon.”
Instinctively, I dig my fingers into his arm. Gently, he pries my hands away and wraps his fingers around mine for one brief squeeze.
Then he’s gone.
And I’m all by myself again.