Chapter 22

"Here you go," I say, getting off the exam table and handing him the pictures of the ultrasound. Our fingers graze each other, and it almost feels like an electric shock runs through my body. I quickly move my hand away and turn so he doesn't see the tears that form in my eyes. “You can look at them while I change," I say softly, looking over to my dress that I hung up on the hook.

"I'll wait for you outside," he says, and I wait until the sound of the door clicks shut behind him before I walk over to the chair and sit down. My breathing is coming in pants now.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck," I say over and over again as I count to twenty, and when that doesn't work, I count to fifty. Ever since I walked into this office and saw him, my whole body has been on high alert. It's been over two weeks since I've seen him, and I thought for sure it wouldn't bother me as much as it did the last time, but I was wrong. The pain was, in fact, even worse than before, which I didn't think was humanly possible. How could you hurt more than you did before? There were days when I felt like someone beat the shit out of me. Every single bone in my body hurt. Every single step that I took felt heavier and heavier. The only thing that kept me going was the baby. It was the only joy in my life. I would spend hours online searching about things happening at this time.

"I don't know," I reply, walking out. “I thought you would be in the waiting room," I mumble. I stop and make another appointment, and he takes out his phone to put it in his calendar. He gets a pair of scissors from the receptionist and cuts his picture off, handing me one.

"I think I'm going to get one frame for each month," he says as we walk out, and I can't help but smile and look over at him. “That's not too much, right?"

"I've already started the ultrasound montage on the bedroom wall," I admit to him as our walking slows down the closer we get to our cars. "This is me," I say, pointing at the car.

"Oh, yeah," he replies and looks as if he wants to say something, but instead, he nods at me. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Will do," I say, swallowing the lump and walking over to my car. I don't bother looking to see if he got in his car as I drive away. I think about going home, but if I do that, I'll just be sitting in the middle of the couch, so instead, I head to the office.

"What are you doing here?" Clarabella asks me, and I glare at her.

"Last I checked"—I look around—“I work here."

"Didn't you have a doctor’s appointment?" Shelby opens her eyes and looks over at me.

"I just came from there, and the doctor said that I need to listen to my body." I sit in one of the empty chairs. “So my body said to come to work."

"Was Bennett there?" Clarabella asks as she leans back in her chair.

"Well, he is the father, so yes, he was there," I confirm, ignoring the way my stomach flips and flops when I think about him. The minute I saw him, I couldn't even move. He looked even more handsome than he did the last time, and I didn't think it was possible. His sleeves were rolled up like they always are, and my eyes stared at them, thinking about the times he used to hold me. I took him for granted.

"Did you tell him how you felt, or are you still a dumbass?" Clarabella asks me, and all I can do is flip her the bird.

"What were you guys talking about?" I change the subject, and she just snickers at me.

"When are you going to be able to meet with clients?" Shelby huffs as she now gets up from lying down. “I don't know how much longer I can do this." She closes her eyes, and now it's my turn to laugh.

"What happened?” I ask and look at Clarabella, who just shakes her head and laughs.

"I met with a couple today who got engaged after three weeks." Shelby puts both hands up. "I have food in my fridge older than that relationship." She shakes her head. “Anyway, they are walking around the venue, and the guy decides that today at this moment, while choosing how they would put tables, to ask her what her number is.”

"If I was there, I would have told her not to answer,” Clarabella deadpans.

"She wasn't the problem,” Shelby says. “She laughed at him and was like six, and she thought she was the one with the high number."

"Oh my God." My hand goes to my mouth.

"Yeah, but turns out he's over one hundred. He stopped counting, apparently, because after one hundred, it's redundant!" Shelby shares, and all I can do is stare at her while Clarabella laughs.

"So they aren't getting married?" I ask, and this is when Clarabella starts to slap her desk in a fit of laughter.

"No," Shelby says. “She thought it was the most romantic thing in the world that he would choose her forever."

"Damn," I say. “Isn't it like a rule to never tell your number?”

"I told Luke,” Clarabella says. “It was more than five."

"I mean, Ace knew before we got married," Shelby declares and then tilts her head to the side. “Why? What’s your number?"

"Um," I say, thinking about lying to them but knowing that they would probably see right through me.

"Oh my God,” Clarabella says. “You dirty dog."

"Hardly," I say, bracing myself. “One." The minute I say the number, you could hear a fucking pin drop.

"You’re lying!” That’s the first thing Clarabella shouts to me, and I shake my head.

"How is that possible?" Shelby gasps. “You were on Tinder."

"So?" I snap. “Not everyone that goes on Tinder is there for sex."

"So, you went out on dates,” Clarabella says.

"I did, but that didn't mean I had to sleep with them." I get up now.

"You're a dumbass,” Shelby says, getting up. “You spent the past twelve years sleeping with one man who you are now having a child with, and you’re going to tell me that you don't have any feelings for him."

"Of course, I have feelings for him," I say, swallowing. I love him, my head screams. “But I also know that he wants the whole package with a white picket fence and June Cleaver in the kitchen." I ignore the sting that starts in my eyes. “So it is what it is. Now I'm going to go and see if I can get something to eat."

"We wanted an intimate affair." He rolls his eyes. “By the way," he says and looks down, and I can see that he's nervous about something. “I just wanted to give you a heads-up that Bennett is coming."

"He might also bring someone," he says, and my whole body turns to ice. My stomach sinks to my feet, and I feel tingles running all through my body. I also think I'm going to be sick. “I can tell him not to come."

"No." I shake my head and put the biggest fake smile on my face I've ever put. “It's fine." I look around. “I'm going to go and see if I can find Mom." He takes one look at me and lets me go. If I stayed there any longer, I might have burst into tears.