Chapter 23
Luke
I park my truck in the driveway, getting out and slamming the door behind me. The sun is just going down as I jog up the two steps to the front door. Unlocking the door, I grab the mail lying on the doormat before walking in and kick the door shut with my foot, tossing my keys and phone onto the table by the front door. I don’t turn on any lights as I make my way from the entryway past the kitchen and finally to the back room where my bedroom is.
I kick off my shoes before reaching behind me to pull my T-shirt off as I start the shower. I’ve been in a bad mood since I walked out of Clarabella’s this morning. I mean, I didn’t exactly walk out. It’s more like I stomped out like a child, even slamming the door behind me. I knew the minute I got behind my wheel and took off that I made a mistake. I should have discussed it with her. I should have relaxed for a minute. But the thought that she didn’t want to be seen with me just hit home in more ways than one, and I just couldn’t escape it.
When I pulled up to the restaurant, Mikaela was there having coffee, and the day just turned shittier and shittier as the hours went by. I want to say that it was everyone else who was the problem, but it was all me. And it didn’t get any better because I kept checking my phone, wondering if she was going to text me or call me, but it was radio silence. There was no missed call, no text, no nothing, and it just ate away at me.
The shower doesn’t even help, and when I walk into the kitchen twenty minutes later, I’m wearing just gym shorts. I turn on the television, putting it on SportsCenter before walking to the kitchen and pulling open the fridge. “Fuck,” I hiss when I find it empty. I’m about to walk over to the phone and order something when I hear a soft knock on the door. I look over at the door, not sure if it was actually a knock, when I hear it again. I don’t even bother checking to see who it is before I swing open the door, and my heart stops in my chest. Or maybe it starts, but whatever it is, I feel a sense of calmness run through me as she stands there wearing a black outfit.
“Hi,” she says, standing there nervously as she smiles shyly. “I come bearing a peace offering.” Her voice cracks at first as she holds up a bottle of scotch in one hand. “And figured that food would sweeten the deal.” She holds up the brown bag in the other hand. I stand here in front of her, holding the door, and all I can think is that she got even more beautiful since I saw her this morning. “Can I come in?” Her eyes shine, and I see her eyes blinking furiously as she blinks away tears.
I don’t say anything to her because the only thing I want to do is yank her to me and wrap my arms around her and just be with her. But instead, I move out of the way, giving her the space she needs to walk inside. The minute she steps inside, I hurriedly close the door behind her, making sure she can’t leave. She doesn’t move from beside me. “Hi,” she says softly, and I can smell her lavender scent, and my hands itch to hold her hand.
“Hi,” I greet just as softly to her standing in front of me, my hand coming up to cup her face without even thinking about it. I bend my head to kiss her lips gently. I don’t know if she is going to kiss me back, but I couldn’t go another minute without kissing her. My hand drops from her face as she looks up at me.
“I’m sorry.” Those two words make all the anger just melt away. Her even showing up here, I don’t even remember why I was mad to begin with. Nor do I care.
My hand slides around her waist as I pull her even closer. “Me, too.” My voice is but a whisper before I kiss her again. This time, my tongue comes out and slides with hers round and round until we are both breathless. “Come in.” My hand falls from her as I walk her into the house.
“I went by the restaurant to see if you were there,” she says when we both stand by the island in the kitchen, and I look over at her. “Mikaela said she kicked you out.”
“She didn’t exactly kick me out.” I roll my eyes, and her eyebrows go up. “Okay, fine, she kicked me out,” I confirm, and she laughs. “It seems I was a negative Nancy.” I pull out a stool for her to sit on. She sits on the stool, and I walk over and grab two glasses for the scotch before sitting next to her. “What did you bring?” I ask, looking over at the brown bag.
“Burgers,” she says, grabbing the brown bag and putting her hand in it, taking out one container and handing it to me. “I figured it was a safe bet.”
I grab the container from her, and I can’t help but lean forward to kiss her lips. “It’s safe.” This time, she is the one who leans into me for another kiss, but her tongue slides in with mine, and I can’t help but turn and grab her. I open my legs, pulling the stool in the middle of them.
“We should talk,” I say when she lets go of my lips, and she nods her head.
“We need to talk about what is going to happen going forward,” she shares, looking down at her hands.
“I agree.” I take her hand in mine. “I just want to say that I want to be with you.” My heart speeds up in my chest as I admit it out loud.
She is very quiet, and she just looks up at me. “Who’s to say you won’t take off again?” she asks, and I know that she has a valid point in being scared.
“From when I was a young kid,” I start, “I’ve always been taught that nothing lasts forever. I’ve also been taught that the minute you get used to something or admit that you want something, they turn around and show you that nothing is guaranteed. It’s why I never had a serious relationship. It was just easy not to get attached. It’s why the only friends I truly have are Mikaela and Francois in New York.” She looks down, and her hair falls in her face. I put my hand under her chin and lift her eyes to see me, tucking her hair behind her ear. “For the first time in my life, I’ve let myself want something,” I admit. “The first time we were together, it was like this whole thing was a fucking dream, and I had this voice in the back of my head telling me that it was a mistake.” As I admit this to her, the lump in my throat grows bigger and bigger. My heart beats so fast I think it’s going to come out of my chest. My hands are so fucking sweaty I feel like I need to wipe them down. But Clarabella just squeezes my hand, making it feel like it’s okay. “I’ve let my guard down when it came to you, and slowly, you’ve crept past all these defenses, so taking off was the only thing that I thought would be right. But with that said, going to New York was also a dream come true, and I just couldn’t say no to that.”
“I would never want you to choose me over your career,” she says softly, and I can see the tiny teardrop escape from her right eye. “Never. I would never tell you not to go away for six months either. All I ask is that you just talk to me.”
“Fair enough, and for the record, I can’t even tell you how sorry I am,” I say, and then I lay it all out for her. “My parents never thought I would amount to much. It’s not like they were the nurturing kind, and for some crazy reason I can’t even explain to myself, I want to make a name for myself. I want to become the best person I can be so that I can say look at what I did. It’s stupid, and it’s sick and twisted, but this is me.” I smirk at her. “And if you give me a chance, I promise to make it up to you.”
“All I ask of you is to talk to me,” she reaffirms, and I nod my head. “And that goes for me also.” Her hand comes up, and she holds my face. “This morning, I was just shocked that Edward showed up and...”
“And I should never have answered your door,” I admit. “It wasn’t my place.”
“I don’t want people to think that I just ran off because of you,” she admits. “I don’t want people to talk more than they are.”
“And me answering your door half-naked didn’t help.” I smile sadly. “I promise if you have me over again, I won’t answer the door.”
She leans forward and kisses my lips, and I can’t help it, but the nerves settle. “How about for the next little bit, we just be me and you?” she suggests softly. “Before we tell the world.”
“I’ll take you any way I can get you,” I say as I turn my face in her hand and kiss the palm of it.
“Okay, so now that I told you what I want from you.” Her voice is soft as I bring her hand to my lips, kissing her fingers. “What do you want from me?”
I chuckle. “You, I just want fucking you.”