22
Ma finds me curled up on the other bed, crying as if I’ve just been watching one of her K-dramas.
“Meddy?” She hurries to my side and gives my shoulder a little shake. “Kenapa? What happened? Why you cry?”
I look up and the sight of her round, lined face is too much to bear. A fresh wave of tears bursts out of me and I babble, “I’m sorry, Ma. I’m so sorry.” It’s all too much, all of it. Ah Guan. Ma and her sisters helping me with Ah Guan without a single word of complaint. And how in truth, I’ve been plotting to get out of the family business for months.
And, of course, Nathan. How I’d met my soulmate in college, fallen irrevocably in love, and never told Ma about it. It’s stupid, but it feels like the biggest betrayal somehow. And now I’ve lost him again.
“It’s just—” I take a breath. “Things have gotten so complicated. And I’m so sorry that I got you into all of this.”
She breathes out. “Aiya. Of course I get into all of this.” She gestures vaguely in Ah Guan’s direction. “I’m your mother. I must protect you.”
“But that’s just it, Ma. I don’t want you to protect me. You’ve been doing it this whole time and I’m grateful, but I wish I weren’t such a mess, you know? I wish you didn’t need to protect me.”
Ma gives me a small, sad smile and puts a hand on my cheek, the way she’s done ever since I was big enough to remember. “You’re not a mess. You just kill by accident only. Bad luck. Can happen to anyone.”
That makes me laugh despite everything. “I don’t think accidentally killing your date is something that can happen to anyone, Ma.” I sigh. “I haven’t been honest with you, and with everything that’s been happening, I don’t know if I’ll get the chance to tell you the truth about Nathan, so . . . I want to tell you, Ma. I don’t want to keep things from you anymore.”
A light dawns on Mama’s face, shaving off years and making her look so young and vibrant, I catch a glimpse of her as a twenty-something, full of fire and laughter. “Yes,” she says. “Tell me.”
Minutes later, we sit on the balcony, cupping hot mugs of tea in our hands.
“I met Nathan the first week of college. It was love at first sight, which I realize is cheesy as hell, but . . . Yeah.”
She laughs. “You know, I meet your dad at wedding. He keep smiling, smiling at me, aduh, I was so irritated at him. I said, ‘Eh, you look at me for what, ah? Can you stop looking?’ and he said, ‘I like staring at beauty.’ And that’s it, BAM, fell in love.”
The thought of Papa and Mama being young and in love is a bittersweet one. “How come you can still talk about him so fondly, after everything that’s happened?”
“Oh, Meddy. Because I got you. And your papa was very kind in the beginning. Always listen to me, very good man. We try hard to be good to each other. And it didn’t work out, but it is okay, we got you, that is good enough.”
I reach out and squeeze her hand. It’s smooth, smoother than mine, and I remember the feel of it when I was young, stroking my hair as I cried in her lap after getting bullied or failing a test. My mother’s always had such smooth hands, but now I see wrinkles and age spots on them too, and the sight is so jarring. When did she get old on me?
“So what happen with this boy?”
I sigh. “Everything. He was my everything, and I guess that’s what scared me the most. I was eighteen. I wasn’t ready to find my everything yet, you know? And of course there’s the family curse.”
“What family curse?”
I stare at her. “You know, the one that’s taken all the men in our family! You and all the aunties used to mention it when I was a kid. You guys would be like, ‘Ah, we are so unlucky, we are cursed to have our husbands leave us.’”
Ma laughs. “You mean family blessing?”
“What?”
“Aiya, we call it curse at first because yes, of course we are sad that our husbands all leave us. But after few years we realize actually, is not a curse. It is family blessing. Because your papa leave me, I become even more close to your aunties. And they become more close to each other too, because they have no husband, no son. And you, they see you as their daughter. It’s like you grow up with four mothers. That is blessing, Meddy. We are very blessed, we have close family.”
My eyes fill with tears. All these years, I have never seen it that way, but Ma’s right. I did grow up with four mothers, and it really has been amazing. There’s been so much love in my life that I took for granted.
“You’re right, Ma.”
“And anyway, it is not curse that take your papa away. We just not work out, it is okay, we move on. And your aunties are the same with your uncles. Maybe at first heartbreak, but after a while it is okay. Don’t miss out on love because you think we got curse, so silly, you. I thought you are more educated than that.”
A laugh bubbles out. My superstitious mother is chastising me for believing in curses. Life could not get weirder.
“That is why you never tell me about this Nathan?”
“Yes and no.” I take a deep breath. “The truth is, I was a different person in school than I was at home. I don’t really know how to explain it. It’s nothing against you or the aunties, it’s just—I don’t know—”
“You feel more free to figure out who are you.”
I stare at her in wonderment. “Yeah. Exactly. How did you—”
“Aiya, you think you are the only one who go to school, is it? I go to college also, I know what you are talking about. At home, I am just Third Sister, no one special, not the oldest, not the youngest. Not the prettiest, not the smartest. But in school, I can be my own person. Not just Third Sister, but me. Natasya.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly it.” All along, she’s understood. Of course she has. Like me, she grew up in a huge, close-knit family filled with overbearing relatives. “So I didn’t want to take him home at first because of that, and then as we became even closer and he became an even bigger part of my life, I didn’t know how to take him home and tell you that we’d been together for more than a year. It felt like such a betrayal to you, and I didn’t know how you’d take it. I’m sorry, Ma. I should’ve had more faith in you.”
“Yes, you should have,” she says, simply. I steel myself for a tirade of guilt-tripping, but for once, Ma is quiet.
“Anyway, then we graduated, and he got a job offer in New York, and I didn’t want to move across the country just to be with him. I don’t know. Or maybe I did, and it scared me to hell that I wanted to. That I would give everything up just for him. So I made myself choose something else. Something that would keep us far apart from each other. But I never could move on from him, because I knew he was the one, Ma.” And the tears come again, as I admit it out loud for the first time. “He was my one, and it killed me, losing him that first time, and I can’t believe I just lost him again.”
“Why lose him again?” She frowns in confusion.
A shaky laugh rattles out of me. “He saw Ah Guan’s feet and he thought it’s my boyfriend, napping in my bed. I couldn’t tell him the truth, obviously, so I let him think that.”
Ma purses her lips. “Ooh. Bad luck, very bad luck.”
“You can say that again.”
“So how? Are you going to chase that boy?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know that there’s anything I can say to change his mind without telling him the truth. And honestly, I don’t want to lie to him. I don’t want to make up some crazy story about how it was just my aunt or whatever who was napping—” Of course, once I say that, I get a glimmer of hope, like huh, maybe I could tell him that it was one of my many aunties underneath the duvet. But as soon as I imagine myself lying to him, everything inside me shrivels up. I have no desire to do so. I can’t stand the thought of having to look him in the eye and feed him false words. “And anyway, I probably shouldn’t be getting distracted by—whatever this is.”
“Love is a good distraction. Maybe I get my grandbabies soon,” Ma says with a grin.
I roll my eyes, but I can’t stop the smile from tugging at the corners of my mouth. How does my mom do it, every time? She’ll find me in pieces, and somehow, some way, she manages to put me back together. I reach out and squeeze her hand. “Thanks, Ma.”
“Aiya, thanks for what?” She waves me off and takes in a sharp little breath. “Ah! I forget to tell you I find this outside. Aduh, you are so careless, how can you forget your own key card?” She digs in her pants pocket and brandishes a plain white card.
I frown as I take it from her. “That’s not my key card. I put mine on the table over there.” We both look at the table, and sure enough, my key card’s lying there. I turn the card Ma found over in my hands. On the other side, in plain letters, are the words MASTER KEY. My breath comes out in a small “Oof.”
“It’s Nathan’s card. He must’ve dropped it after he opened the door for me. Ugh, I’m gonna have to return this to him somehow.” An idea pops into my head. “Right after I use it to return the tea ceremony gifts.” I pace the room, working out how and when I should do it. It’ll have to be tonight, right after the reception, while everyone is outside watching the fireworks. I’ll steal back here, grab the duffel bag, use the key card to open the bridal suite, and put it—somewhere. Maybe under the bride’s bed or something, where it wouldn’t be found right away, so it gives us more time before Maureen realizes something’s gone wrong with her plan.
I go over my plan again, poking and prodding at the details to look for flaws, and yeah, obviously there are flaws, but overall, it’s the best plan anyone could come up with given the situation. For the first time since this entire fiasco started, I actually feel kind of good. Yes, there is still a dead body in my bed and a stolen stash of jewelry in my closet, but hey, at least I now have a viable plan to take care of the latter. In no time I will come up with another plan to get rid of the former. Hopefully.
“You think of something?” Ma says.
I turn to her, grinning wide, and am about to tell her my plan to return the stolen jewelry when Ah Guan’s phone vibrates. The sound slices through the air, silencing both of us. I don’t think either of us even dares to breathe. Our gazes shoot to the phone, buzzing on the table like some great big beetle. Reluctantly, I step closer, still holding my breath, and see Maureen’s face on the screen. Argh, great. What now? God, I hope their plan didn’t involve them meeting up once he got the duffel bag. I let the call go to voicemail.
Ma gnaws on her lip. “Maybe you can just ignore—”
The phone buzzes with a text.
Maureen [2:02PM]: SOS. Srsly, where tf r u?
SOS. Dread fills my stomach, leaden and hot. This isn’t going to be anything good. With a deep breath, I pick up the phone and type out:
Ah Guan [2:04PM]: What is it?
The reply is practically instantaneous.
Maureen [2:04PM]: PICK UP THE PHONE U FUCKER.
Oh god, she’s going to call again, isn’t she. I quickly type:
Ah Guan [2:04PM]: Can’t, w/ ppl right now
Maureen [2:05PM]: Get rid of them! This is an emergency!
Ah Guan [2:05PM]: Just tell me what happened.
Maureen [2:06PM]: Over text? R u high rn?
Right. She can’t tell me over text because then it could be used as evidence if things go sideways. Okay. Think, Meddy.
Ah Guan [2:08PM]: I’ll call in a sec but I won’t be able to say much ’cuz ppl around me.
Maureen [2:08PM]: FINE.
“I’m going to call her back. Don’t say a word while I’m on the phone with her.”
Ma nods, and I take a second to gather myself. Deep breath. Okay. I tap on Maureen’s name and call her. She picks up on the first ring.
“Dude, oh my god, things are so bad. I can’t even—everything’s going wrong!” Her voice is shaky, hoarse with tears.
Instinct kicks me to say something. It feels so wrong just standing here being silent. I opt for a Hugh Jackman as Wolverine grunt. “Hmm.”
“They—shit—they found out the stuff’s missing!” she hisses.
Oh! Hope soars. Maybe that’s good. They’ll catch Maureen and—oh. And they’ll interrogate her, try to dig for the truth, and what if she spills then? What if she says Ah Guan came and got the stuff, and then they—I don’t know, what would they do? Maybe search the entire resort? Would they do that? Who am I kidding? There’s easily a couple million dollars’ worth of jewelry and fine watches in that duffel bag; of course they would. They’d do anything to get it back. Shut off the island from the mainland. Tell every guest to stay in their room while they methodically go through everybody’s room. Oh my god. This is bad. This is really, really bad.
“And the heat’s on me,” Maureen continues. “’Cause I was the last one with the stuff. I can’t let them suspect—not her, oh god, I can’t—change of plans, you hear me?”
I give my Wolverine grunt again.
“We’ll have to pin it on the photographer.”
“What?!”
“She was the one who helped carry the boxes back to the room—you sound weird, do you have a cold?”
It takes everything inside me to come up with another grunt.
“Anyway, she helped me carry the boxes back. I can tell them that I was careless, that she was still in the room when I opened the safe. Maybe she saw the safe code or whatever, and then came back later to take the stuff. That’s believable, right? It’ll buy us enough time. You need to—shit, what are we gonna do with the stuff? You need to put them in the photographer’s room and—”
I hang up on her. My heart is racing, my mind shattered. I can barely string together a coherent thought.
“What did she say?” Ma asks, rubbing her elbows, her face lined with worry. She’s so concerned she forgets to speak English and switches to Indonesian. “Meddy, you look so scared, what is it?”
I stare at the phone. I stare at Ma. Nothing comes out.
“Meddy!” Ma snaps her fingers. At the same time, the phone vibrates again. I jump, and reality comes rushing back in, like a flood.
I hit Reject, and then send off another text:
Ah Guan [2:11PM]: Can’t talk now, but will take care of the stuff. Don’t worry.
When I look up again, Ma raises her eyebrows. “Well?”
“They found out that the tea ceremony gifts are missing, and Maureen wants to blame it on me.”
When I was five, there was a boy at my kindergarten who was always pulling my hair and pinching me. When Ma complained to the school about it, they laughed and said, “Awww, that’s so sweet! Little Bobby has a crush on your daughter. Isn’t that the cutest?” Ma rose to her full five feet two inches—even her breasts rose—and she got this look on her face, as if the soul of a warrior had just taken over her features. Mrs. Mallone, my teacher, was still stupidly grinning at her. She didn’t even know what was coming. But by the time Ma was done with her tirade, Mrs. Mallone was in tears and had promised to have a talk with Bobby’s parents about boundaries.
The expression on Ma’s face reminds me of that moment. Everything about her is standing tall and proud and furious.
“That no-good thief wants to frame my daughter?”
It’s right at this moment that the door unlocks, and in come all my aunties. They pile in, rubbing their bellies and chatting amicably in Mandarin, but then Big Aunt notices the look on Ma’s face.
“What happened?” she says. “Is there trouble?”
“The thief wants to frame Meddy!” Ma cries.
My aunties gasp, shock and anger rippling through them. Big Aunt cries the F-word in Mandarin, Second Aunt immediately launches into some Tai Chi pose that no doubt has some ridiculous name, and Fourth Aunt slides her over-the-top nails across her neck, hissing. I want to hug them all to pieces. They’re all so enraged on my behalf.
“We’ll fix this,” Big Aunt says, and for once, Second Aunt doesn’t even come up with a snarky retort. She nods along while crouching into a pose that looks like it should be called something along the lines of Carrying an Extra Large Gourd and says, “Don’t worry, Meddy. We’ll fix this.”
“No.”
They all look at me. Ma steps toward me. “Meddy—”
“No, you’ve all helped me so much. I can handle this one by myself. I know exactly what I have to do. I’m going to get rid of this—” I heave the bag out of the closet. “And then I’ll be back for the body.”