TWENTY-TWO
Between looking for Berry and getting full-on glares from Tanner, Sarah, and Gilly for the rest of the day, it was kind of a mess. It was like every second between talking to Mr. Davidson and going to rehearsal was like another pin being pushed into my brain.
Like here’s how upset I was:
I ordered pizza for lunch. Greenville disgusting pizza. And then I ate it by myself, sitting on the still-wet steps writing and deleting texts to Berry.
I mean, look, I take a person’s request for personal space very seriously. If someone says they need you to back off, you absolutely need to back off. But there was also the look Berry gave me right before she skated off into the rain. Like I was the biggest numb brain ever. Like, okay, not unlike the look I was sure I was giving Lucy the night before.
So I didn’t send the many texts I wrote to Berry.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t miss the look Gilly gave me from her seat at the lunch table with Sarah and Tanner and John. Like some fugitive message of concern lobbed at me from inside the fort or something.
I wasn’t up for it. Like. Everything was falling apart; I couldn’t afford to do one more thing that would take the ground out from under me. Maybe Lucy was right. Maybe all my choices were making everything worse. For everyone.
But then, of course, by that standard, after school I could have just gone home and not gone to rehearsal.
But Mr. Davidson seemed so sure. And a sliver of me just didn’t want to give up. So I went.
Rehearsals were after school in the chemistry lab, of all places. I guess because the band was in the music room. On the way there I ran into future magical fairy, Minnie, with new and improved wings on her back. And even more eyeliner. It was like her face was morphing into a fairy face more and more every day.
“You look awesome,” I cheered.
“Coat hangers!” She pointed at her back.
“They worked great.”
“Anne!” Mr. Davidson popped his head out of the doorway of the chemistry lab. “Hey, Minnie! Come on in.”
Inside, Gilly and Tanner and Sarah and John were sitting at the chem table at the front of the room. Gilly was kind of folded in on herself. She looked up at me with huge eyes when we walked in. She looked. . .surprised.
“Hi,” I said. “Uhhhhh.”
Minnie looked around the room. “Awkward,” she whispered.
“No.” Tanner stood up from his stool, shaking his head. “What the fuck is she doing here?”
“Tanner!” Mr. Davidson clapped his hands together. “I will not have that language in this room.”
“You’re not supposed to be here,” Sarah added from her perch, with a level of assurance that seemed. . .weird.
Like, was the small town rumor mill that strong that everyone already knew the results from my fight with Lucy the night before? We still didn’t have curtains up. Was that it?
I scanned Sarah and Tanner’s faces, avoiding looking at Gilly.
Or did they just think it was obvious that accusing me of an actual crime would be a solid way of taking Peter Pan away from me?
“Miss Shirley is a player in our troupe.” Mr. Davidson closed the door with a decisive click and turned back to the classroom. “And as a member of this cast, she is here for—”
“She also destroyed my backyard,” Tanner cut in. “There was, uh, major damage? So maybe a destructive person like that shouldn’t be allowed to be the lead in a school play?”
I mean, a brief study of the history of actors would say otherwise, but I digress.
Suddenly I could picture Tanner and his dad looking at whatever char spot on their back lawn was left after we put out the fire. I could see Tanner’s dad typing the word damage into his email. Something about that word was like a kinetic bomb in my brain.
Da mage?
To his la wn???
I wanted to jump on Tanner’s head and scream.
How about my lawn, you jerk? How about the lawn you and your terrible friends spray- painted and I never even told anyone! Because I’m not a dick! And you are!
But before I could think of jumping or screaming, I felt Mr. Davidson’s hand on my arm.
“My original understanding of your initially stated quarrel, Sarah, reinforced by you and your mother’s letter and letter campaign,” he explained, smoothly, “was that you were concerned that the content of the play was not to your standards and was in conflict with the heritage and values of the school. I have addressed these concerns with your mother and with all levels of the school administration at a meeting an hour ago, at which point I noted that Peter Pan was one of the first productions at this school, and the original production featured a female lead. So this play and its cast are entirely in keeping with our values. And so, we will be performing Peter Pan. And Anne will be our lead.”
Did that mean he’d talked to my mom? Also, cool about the school’s history with Peter Pan!
I stared at the side of Mr. Davidson’s face. His jaw flexed.
“Okay, yeah, well, it’s also clear that she’s got some vendetta against us, so maybe it’s not okay for her to be in the play,” Sarah sniped. “Maybe it’s about that now.”
“That would be a matter to take up outside of this production,” Mr. Davidson rebutted. “For the moment, we will continue with rehearsals.”
A hot stillness settled over the room. Possibly because I was still bubbling.
“What if we’re not okay with that?” Sarah said, looking at Tanner.
There was a scuffling on the other side of the door. Like someone was listening? Then, like out of nowhere, Minnie let out a long groan. “Oh, whatEVER, Sarah. Give it a fucking break.”
“Language, Minnie,” said Mr. Davidson.
Someone else snickered.
“Oh, you think this is funny?” Tanner was dialing his phone. “I’m calling my father.”
Taylor, the kid with the drums, sat up. “Can we just rehearse without you calling your dad, dude? Like, come on.”
“Mr. Spencer.” Mr. Davidson’s voice was tight. “Please put your phone away for the duration of this rehearsal.”
“She fucking tried to set my house on fire.” Tanner pointed at me with his phone, which was still ringing. “That’s fraud.”
Sarah crossed her hands over her chest and bored a glare into my chest. No one said anything about how technically, okay, i f I had set Tanner’s lawn on fire, which I didn’t, it would have been arson and not fraud.
Also, come on, that’s funny.
Tanner held his phone up to his ear. “Dad?”
“Stop.” Gilly pulled herself to her feet. Or foot. Since she was still in her boot. She looked like a small tree springing up from the ground. A tiny tree, but still a tree.
Tanner looked up, seething. “I’m on the phone.”
Gilly held up her phone. “Okay, well, tell your dad that I have texts from Sarah that say some other kid knocked over the firepit that night, not Anne or Berry.”
“GILLY!” Sarah spun around to stare at her.
Gilly’s voice wavered, “T-tell him you told Vice Principal Shirley that I was there, but I wasn’t because I went home before the fire even started. And my dad picked me up, so he can verify that. Tell him I said I’ll show the text to Vice Principal Shirley, Tanner, if you don’t stop this. . .now.”
Tanner froze, his phone an inch from his cheek. I could hear his dad shouting through the speaker.
Tanner hung up.
Sarah tossed her pages down onto the floor with a slap. “Fuck you, Gilly.”
Mr. Davidson swayed slightly. “Oh my” escaped his lips.
Gilly took a deep breath. “No. Fuck you, Sarah.”
“OKAY!” Mr. Davidson held up his hands and stepped into the line of rage. “That’s enough f-bombs for today. Sarah and Tanner and Gilly, that’s at least one too many each, so you can go to the office and pick up a detention slip. Everyone else.” He sighed and looked at his watch. “That’s a wrap for today. We’ll take this up tomorrow. So have your lines memorized.”
The Forever crew filed out of the room, each taking a long look at me as they left. Gilly was still struggling with her crutches, which clearly Tanner and Sarah weren’t going to help her with anymore.
“Hey.” I stepped forward, pulling back a stool so she could get out. “Thanks.”
“I mean.” She pulled a crutch into position. “It was kind of the least I could do.”
“Well, thank you anyway.” I slid out of her way. “I’m sorry you kind of— I mean I’m sorry you lost— I mean I’m sorry your friends—”
“Are assholes,” Gilly finished for me, hopping forward. “This whole town is full of assholes.”
“I used to think the same thing,” I said, “but to be honest Greenville is kind of proving me wrong. Like more and more every day. And I’m also kind of an asshole sometimes.” I pointed at myself with my thumbs. “Like I’m cool but I’m ALSO a person who starts pizza fights, so. . .”
“Yeah.” Gilly stared at the door. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure they’re not going to talk to me again.”
“You never know.” I shrugged.
“Yeah, when they decide they’re not talking to someone, they kind of stick to it,” Gilly told me.
“Well, I’m talking to you,” I offered. “You know, if you’re into that.”
An idea flashed over her face. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Do you want to come with me to the Fall Dance next weekend? Since I’ll probably be going by myself.” Her eyes got wide. “Not that that’s why I’m asking you.”
My face got hot. “Why are you asking me, then? Because I’m talking to you?”
Gilly shook her head. “No! I want to go with you. To the dance. Because. . .” A small smile curled the corners of her lips, “You’re pretty cool, like I said. What do you say?”
She reached out and touched my hand. Which almost caused her to fall over.
You know when that thing you’ve been kind of secretly dreaming of happens and then suddenly that secret dream is revealed and you feel, like, exposed and giddy and scared all at once?
“Okay.”
Gilly’s phone buzzed. “Oh, that’s my dad, I bet,” she said. “I gotta go. But it’s a date, right?”
“It’s a date.”
Gilly hopped away and I sat down in a seat in the empty room that was once the site of my standoff.
I looked at my phone.
There were three texts from Berry.
BERRY
Hey. I hope everything goes okay today.
BERRY
You deserve to be a star.
BERRY
Just FYI.
Without thinking, I tapped the little Berry icon on my phone, which was a picture of one of the sculptures from her secret garden, and called her.
People do that, you know: just call.
Suddenly there was a ringing in the hallway very close to the door. I bolted out of the room to find Berry frantically silencing her phone.
“HEY!”
“HEY!” Literally every part of her face was red. With her green hair, she looked like a radish. But, like, in a cool way.
“I didn’t know you were here.”
“Oh.” Berry shoved her phone in her pocket. “I was just checking on you. To make sure you were okay.”
“Since how long?”
“I mean, I heard Davidson tell Sarah off.” Berry smiled. “And I heard Gilly stick up for you. That’s pretty nice. And. I mean, yeah.”
“So you heard the whole thing basically.”
The smile slipped from Berry’s lips, replaced with the same look from this morning.
“I’m glad Gilly stood up for you,” she said. “And I’m glad you’re okay.”
And with that Berry hopped on her board, risking Principal Lynde’s wrath, and zipped down the hallway.
Really not wanting to risk any wrath, I walked to the front steps and I strapped on my skates. Diana Ross’s “Upside Down” blasted on my headphones as I rounded out of the parking lot and headed home, chasing the last slivers of light.