CHAPTER 18
Maria
Thanks again for coming,” Maria said to Serena on the drive back to Wilmington. The rain blew in soft sheets, making the oncoming headlights shimmer.
“It was fun,” Serena said from the passenger seat, a soda wedged between her legs. “It was also one of the more interesting Saturday nights I’ve had in a long time. I think I actually know one of the fighters.”
“Duh,” Maria said. “You were the one who set us up.”
“I’m not talking about Colin. I’m talking about one of the other fighters—I think I’ve seen him on campus. Of course, from where we were standing, it’s not as though I could be certain. Tell me again why we didn’t try to get closer?”
“Because I didn’t want Colin to know I was there.”
“And again… why is that?”
“Because we haven’t talked since last weekend,” Maria said. “I already told you all of this.”
“I know, I know. He yelled at the waitress and the police came and you got all freaked out. Blah, blah, blah.”
“I appreciate your sympathy.”
“I’m sympathetic. I just think you’re making a mistake.”
“You didn’t say that last Sunday.”
“Well, I’ve had a chance to think about it. And on that note, thanks for keeping me in the dark about the stalker until then.”
Her voice dripped sarcasm, but Maria couldn’t really blame her. “I didn’t know for sure until then.”
“And when you did find out? Colin was right there, trying to get answers.”
“He was doing way more than that.”
“Would you rather date the kind of guy who does nothing? Who would sit there like a log? Or would you have wanted him to take charge of the situation? Hell, if I’d been there, I would probably have yelled at that dingbat waitress, too. Who can’t remember what someone looks like a few minutes after they’ve ordered a drink?”
“I saw a side of Colin that I didn’t like.”
“So what? Do you think that Mom hasn’t seen a side of Dad that she doesn’t like? Or vice versa? I’ve seen a side of you that I don’t like, but I didn’t shut you out of my life.”
“What side?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“Fine. You always think you’re right. It bugs me.”
“No, I don’t.”
“You’re making my point.”
“And you’re beginning to irritate me.”
“Someone’s got to keep you in line and tell you when you’re wrong. And on that note, you’re wrong about Colin, too. You should call him. He’s good for you.”
“I’m not so sure of that.”
“Then why did you insist that we come watch him fight tonight?”
Why had she wanted to come tonight? She’d waffled, telling Serena that she’d promised Colin that she would, but Serena had merely scoffed.
“Just admit that you still like him,” she’d said.
Last weekend, it had been clear that she needed some space to think. Her whipsawing emotions—about the stalker, about Colin—had left her feeling wildly off-kilter, a feeling that only grew worse as the week wore on.
Even the atmosphere at work felt odd to her. Ken had been in and out of Barney’s office most of the week, looking distracted and worried, though he didn’t so much as mumble a single word to her. Barney was equally tense; both he and Ken weren’t in the offices at all on Thursday, and when Lynn didn’t show up for work on either Thursday or Friday, she’d expected Barney to raise hell as soon as he returned, if only because Lynn hadn’t so much as called to say she wouldn’t be coming in. However, Barney had simply added Lynn’s work to Maria’s plate without explanation or comment.
Strange.
Her parents, too, were a concern. Still grieving over Copo, her dad was depressed to the point that he’d stopped going in to the restaurant, and her mom was worried about him. Maria had dinner with them on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, Serena on Monday and Wednesday, and on the way to Colin’s fight, they’d both agreed that something needed to be done, even if they weren’t quite sure if there was anything they could do.
The fight was supposed to be a distraction, or at least that’s what she’d tried to tell herself. Serena, too. But as soon as Colin had stepped into the cage, she’d felt an almost nauseating wave of butterflies coupled with an acute sense of regret.
All of which meant… what?
With her parents grieving, the idea of begging off their usual Sunday brunch was out of the question, even if she didn’t feel as though she was in the right frame of mind to support anyone. Which was why the sight of Serena on the front porch, almost vibrating with expectant energy, caught Maria off guard. As soon as Maria pulled into the drive, Serena skipped over.
“What’s going on?”
“I know what we have to do,” Serena said. “And I have no idea why it took this long to figure it out, other than that I’m an idiot! On the plus side, you and I are going to get our lives back… I mean, I love Mom and Dad, but I can’t keep coming over here for dinner a couple of times a week and having brunch on Sunday. I already have to spend time with them at the restaurant, and I need at least a little space, you know?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve thought of something to help Mom and Dad.”
Maria stepped out of the car. “How are they?”
“Not great.”
“This should be interesting.”
“Like I said, I have a plan.”
It took some coaxing, but despite their reservations, Maria’s parents weren’t the kind to say no to their kids, especially when the girls were united in their pleas.
Climbing into their dad’s SUV, they drove to the Humane Society. When they reached the parking lot of the low-slung, nondescript building, Maria couldn’t help noticing how her parents dragged their feet, reluctance written in their every step. “It’s too soon,” their mother had protested when Serena first introduced the idea.
“We’ll just see what’s available,” Serena had reassured them. “No pressure.” Now they trailed behind their daughters, moving slowly toward the doors.
“I’m not so sure this is a good idea,” Maria hissed, leaning closer to Serena. “What if they don’t have a dog here that he likes?”
“Remember how I told you that Steve volunteers here? Well, after I told him about Copo, Steve mentioned that there’s one dog that just might be perfect,” Serena whispered back. “He even agreed to meet us here.”
“Did you ever consider getting him another shih tzu? From the same breeder where they got Copo?”
“Of course I did,” Serena said. “But I didn’t want them to think we were trying to replace Copo.”
“Isn’t that exactly what we’re doing?”
“Not if it’s a different kind of dog.”
Maria wasn’t as confident in Serena’s logic as her sister obviously was, but she said nothing. Steve, looking visibly nervous, greeted them as soon as they entered. After Serena offered him a hug, she introduced him to her parents. Steve eagerly led them into the back, toward the kennels.
Dogs immediately began to bark, the sound echoing off the walls. They walked slowly past the first few kennels—there was a Lab mix, a pit bull mix, and some sort of terrier—and she noted her parents’ apathy.
Ahead of them, Serena and Steve stopped at one of the smaller kennels. “How about this one?” Serena called out. Felix and Carmen headed over to her, moving reluctantly, like they’d rather be anywhere else. Maria trailed in their wake.
“What do you think?” Serena pressed.
In the kennel, Maria saw a small black-and-brown dog with a face like a teddy bear’s, sitting on its haunches, making no noise at all. Maria had to admit that it was just about the cutest thing she’d ever seen.
“He’s a shorkie tzu,” Steve offered. “It’s a mix between a shih tzu and a Yorkshire terrier. He’s very sweet and between two and three years old.”
Steve opened the kennel; reaching in, he picked up the dog and offered it to Felix. “Would you mind carrying him outside? He’d probably love some fresh air.”
With a trace of lingering reluctance, Felix cradled the dog; Carmen leaned in curiously. Maria watched as the little dog licked her father’s fingers before yawning with a squeak.
Within minutes, Felix was in love, as was Carmen. Serena stood by watching them, holding Steve’s hand, clearly pleased with herself.
Not that Maria could blame her.
No wonder she’d been short-listed for the scholarship; Serena was sometimes absolutely brilliant.
When Maria returned to work on Monday, the tension in the office was palpable. Everyone was on edge, paralegals whispering to each other over the partitions of their cubicles, growing silent whenever any of the attorneys approached; meanwhile, Maria learned that all the partners had been closeted in the conference room since the very early morning, which could only signify that something major was brewing.
Lynn was absent for the third consecutive workday, and with no idea what she was supposed to do—Barney had neglected to leave her any instructions—Maria poked her head into Jill’s office.
Before she could get a word out, Jill began shaking her head and talking loudly enough to be heard in the hallway.
“Of course we’re still on for lunch,” Jill announced. “I can’t wait to hear about your weekend! It sounds amazing!”
The partners were still behind closed doors when Maria finally took a seat across the table from Jill at a nearby restaurant.
“What in the world is going on today? It’s like some sort of twilight zone back there! And what are the partners talking about? No one seems to know anything.”
Jill expelled a long breath. “It’s all very hush-hush right now… but I’m sure you’ve noticed the absence of your paralegal?”
“Does she have something to do with what’s going on?”
“You could say that,” Jill muttered, trailing off when the waiter approached to take their drink orders. She waited until the waiter had walked away before speaking again. “We’ll get to that,” she said. “And I’ll answer what I can. Mainly, I wanted to have lunch with you because I wanted to run something by you in confidence.”
“Yeah, of course…” Maria said.
“Are you happy working at the firm?”
“I’m doing okay. Why?”
“Because I was wondering if you’d ever consider leaving and coming to work with me at my own firm.”
Maria was too stunned to formulate an answer.
Jill nodded. “I know it’s a big decision, and you don’t need to give me an answer right now. But I want you to think about it. Especially now, given what’s going on.”
“I still don’t know what’s going on. And wait… You’re leaving?”
“We’ve been working on our plans since before you started here.”
“We?”
“I’ll be working with Leslie Shaw. She’s an employment attorney with Scanton, Dilly and Marsden, and we went to law school together. She’s terrific, sharp as a tack, and shrewd when it comes to labor law. I’d like you to meet her if you’re open to the idea of maybe coming to work with us. You’d have to like her, of course… but if you have no desire to leave, then I hope you’ll forget I said anything at all. For now, we’re trying to keep this as quiet as possible.”
“I won’t say anything,” Maria promised, the shock still reverberating. “And of course I’d be willing to meet her, but… why are you thinking about leaving?”
“Because our firm is in trouble. Like, Titanic-hitting-the-iceberg trouble, and the next few months aren’t going to be pretty.”
“What do you mean?”
“Our managing partner, Ken, is about to get sued by Lynn for sexual harassment. And I’m guessing that two, maybe even three other paralegals are also going to sue. That’s what the partners have been meeting about all day. Because it’s going to make the news and it’s going to be ugly. From what I heard, the private mediation didn’t go well last week.”
“What mediation?”
“Last Thursday.”
“Which explains why Lynn, Barney, and Ken were absent… Why haven’t I heard anything about this?”
“Because Lynn hasn’t filed with the EEOC yet.”
“Then why was there a mediation at all?”
“Because Ken was warned about it a couple weeks back and has been doing everything he can to head it off. You’ve noticed, I’m sure, that he’s been on his best behavior since then. He’s terrified. I’m sure he expects the firm to negotiate a settlement, and I’m sure the other partners are balking at that. They want Ken to make it go away, but he doesn’t have the money.”
“How can he not have the money?”
“Two ex-wives? And this isn’t the first time it’s happened. Ken has settled before. That’s why I used to ask you about him. Because you’re young and attractive and you work in the office, which is all it takes, as far as Ken is concerned. The guy does all his thinking from below the waist. And, of course, Lynn will claim that the partners were all in cahoots with him, since they knew exactly what kind of guy he was and never did anything about it. The firm could be staring at a multimillion-dollar payout… and let’s just say that a lot of clients aren’t going to want to be associated with a firm known for rampant sexual harassment. Which brings me back to my original question: Are you open to the idea of joining Leslie and me at a new firm?”
Maria was overwhelmed. “I don’t have employment law experience…”
“I understand, but I’m not worried. You’re smart and driven, and you’ll pick up on it faster than you probably imagine. The one caveat is that we’re probably not going to be able to match your salary from the get-go, but you’ll have more flexible hours, and just by joining on day one you’d be on the fast track to becoming a partner.”
“When are you thinking of leaving?”
“Four weeks from Friday,” she said. “We’ve already leased and furnished an office a few blocks from here; all the paperwork is filed.”
“I’m sure there are others out there who are much more qualified. So why me?”
“Why not you?” Jill smiled. “We’re friends, and if I’ve learned one thing in this profession, it’s that work is a lot more enjoyable when you like the people you spend your days with. I’ve had enough of Ken and Barney to last a lifetime, thank you very much.”
“I’m… flattered.”
“So you’ll think about it? Assuming you and Leslie hit it off?”
“I don’t see why I wouldn’t. What’s Leslie like?”
The partners finally filed out of the conference room around three p.m., all of them looking grim. Barney immediately holed up in his office, clearly in no mood to talk. The same went for the other partners; one by one, office doors were closed. Like most of the employees, Maria decided to leave a few minutes early, and on her way out she noted that the remaining staff members acted both nervous and scared.
Jill had called her again after speaking with Leslie and confirmed plans for the three of them to have lunch on Wednesday. Jill’s enthusiasm was infectious, but the upheaval was also causing Maria some trepidation. Changing jobs, changing her practice area (again), and joining a start-up still felt risky to her, even if staying here suddenly seemed even riskier.
What she really wanted, she realized, was to talk to someone other than Serena or her parents. Climbing into her car, she found herself driving past Evan’s house and the gym, searching for Colin’s car before winding her way to Wrightsville Beach.
The bar at Crabby Pete’s was mostly empty. She was climbing onto a stool before Colin finally noticed her, and she watched his surprise slowly give way to something more reserved.
“Hi, Colin,” she said quietly. “It’s good to see you.”
“I’m surprised you’re here.”
Staring at him standing behind the bar, she thought to herself that he was one of the handsomest men she’d ever met, and felt the same pang of regret she had on Saturday night.
She sighed. “I’m not.”
The bar was a good place to talk; the physical barrier between them and the fact that Colin was working kept the conversation from becoming too serious too quickly. Colin briefed her on the fight with Reese and Evan’s insistence that the whole thing had been rigged. Maria told him about the dog they’d helped their parents adopt, along with the crisis at the firm and her new career opportunity with Jill.
As was typical, he listened without interruption; as always, she had to draw out his explanations and thoughts; but when the time came for her to leave, he asked a waiter to cover for him for a few minutes so he could walk her to her car.
He didn’t try to kiss her, and when she realized he wasn’t going to, she leaned in and kissed him. As she tasted the familiar warmth of his mouth, she found herself wondering why she’d felt it necessary to take a break from him in the first place.
At home, the exhaustion of the day finally taking its toll, she fell asleep quickly. She woke to a text from Colin that thanked her for coming by and told her that he’d missed her.
Tuesday, the mood at the office was worse than it had been on Monday. While the partners seemed determined to act in a business-as-usual kind of way, the withholding of information was wearing on everyone else. There was little question that most of the office had begun to imagine the worst, and rumors began to fly. Maria heard whispers about layoffs—many of the employees had families and mortgages, which meant that their lives might just become a lot more complicated.
Maria did her best to keep her head down and concentrate on work; Barney remained quiet and distracted. The necessity for focus made the hours pass quickly, and when she finally left the office, she realized she hadn’t thought about the stalker at all.
She wondered whether that was good or bad.
On Wednesday, the lunch with Leslie and Jill went even better than Maria could have hoped. Leslie was in many respects a perfect complement to her best friend in the office—just as lively and irreverent, but also nurturing and thoughtful. The idea of working side by side with them began to seem too good to be true. After lunch, when Jill popped over to report that Leslie had been equally enthusiastic about the meeting, Maria felt a wave of relief. Jill also walked her through their basic offer, including her salary, which was significantly lower, but at this point Maria didn’t care. She would adjust her lifestyle accordingly.
“I’m excited,” she told Jill. She wondered what—if anything—she should reveal about her stalker or the fact that she and Colin were tentatively back together, and then she realized that she hadn’t even mentioned the fact that they’d been broken up.
Too much happening all at once.
Meanwhile, at Martenson, Hertzberg & Holdman, the black cloud that had descended on the office grew steadily darker, and as she and Jill approached her office, Jill leaned toward her.
“Don’t be surprised if you hear something major tomorrow,” she warned.
Indeed, on Thursday morning, word raced through the office that Lynn had filed with the EEOC. Ken again was a no-show. Though the report was supposed to be confidential, in an office of high-powered attorneys with favors to call in, it was soon on virtually everyone’s computer. Joining the crowd, Maria read through the EEOC charges, which spelled out all the lurid details. The report recounted in blunt and highly specific, often sexual language Ken’s numerous and unwanted advances, including his promises of career advancement and a higher salary in exchange for specific sexual favors. Employees, their worst fears now confirmed, were moving around in a daze.
Maria and Jill escaped the office, heading to lunch at their usual time, and discussed when to announce that they’d be leaving the firm. Maria leaned toward the idea of letting Barney know sooner rather than later so he wouldn’t be caught in a bind—maybe within a few days.
“He’s demanding, but he’s also been fair and I’ve learned a lot from him,” Maria said. “And I have no desire to make things even worse for him.”
“That’s a valid point—and it’s thoughtful—but it might backfire. I’m wondering if we should let the dust settle first.”
“Why?”
“Because once you and I announce that we’re leaving, it might set off an exodus of other attorneys, which could lead to a death spiral. We announce, then others do, then clients leave, and the next thing you know, even people who were willing to stick around might find themselves out of work.”
“I’m sure a lot of people are already considering their options.”
“I’m sure. I would. But that’s not the same as actually resigning.”
In the end, they compromised on two weeks from Friday, leaving Barney with a short window to find a replacement. From there, the conversation moved on to the kind of firm they wanted to create—the kinds of cases they’d take on, how they’d grow their client base, which of their clients might follow them, how much support staff they’d initially need.
On Friday, another bomb went off in the office when word raced through the hallways that Heather, Ken’s paralegal, and Gwen, the receptionist, had also filed complaints with the EEOC, their statements as damaging as Lynn’s had been. Once again, the partners closeted themselves behind closed doors, no doubt sending death stares in Ken’s direction.
One by one, associates and staff began leaving the office—some at three, others at four. Exhausted from the week, Maria decided to join them. After all, she was planning to meet Colin later, and needed time to unwind first.
“I can’t imagine how surreal it must have been all week,” Colin remarked.
“It’s been… awful. A lot of people are angry and scared and practically all of them feel blindsided. They had no idea something like this was coming.” They were at the Pilot House again, and though they’d spoken on the phone a couple of times—both of them trying to inch their way back to normal—this was the first time Maria had seen Colin since her visit to Crabby Pete’s. In his jeans and white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, he looked, impossibly, even better than he had on Monday. Funny, she thought, what even a little time apart could do.
“And Jill?”
“A total lifesaver. Without her offer, I don’t know what I would have done. It’s not as though firms are hiring these days, and I probably would have been a basket case. And Jill’s right. With three employees filing with the EEOC, it’s pretty certain that even if the firm does find a way to survive, all the partners are going to be on the hook financially and it’s going to be grim for the next few years.”
“Which probably means they’re upset.”
“Try furious. I’m pretty sure that they’d all like nothing better than to strangle Ken.”
“Doesn’t the firm have insurance for things like this?”
“They’re not sure it’ll cover this. He was clearly breaking the law, and according to the complaints, there are recordings, e-mails, texts, and one of the paralegals supposedly even has a video.”
“Not good.”
“No,” Maria agreed. “There are a lot of innocent people who are going to get hurt by this. I can’t tell you how fortunate I am.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t start saying that.”
Colin smiled. “Okay.”
They spent the night rediscovering each other, falling asleep with their limbs intertwined. In the morning, Maria had no regrets and was surprised to catch herself picturing something long-term between them. The thought was strangely thrilling. After they spent Saturday together flying kites at the beach, the feeling only continued to grow.
On Saturday night, she had dinner with Jill and Leslie while Colin worked; after his shift ended, they met at his place. Evan and Lily were there, and the four of them talked until past three in the morning. Unable to stay awake a minute longer, Colin and Maria didn’t make love until the following morning.
Though she invited him to brunch, Colin begged off with his apologies, citing a number of upcoming exams he had to study for before working another shift that evening. When she arrived at her parents’ home, she was pleased to learn that Smokey—the name her parents had chosen for the dog—now had his own rhinestone collar, bed, and various toys strewn throughout the living room, but he seemed most content when snuggled against her father. In the kitchen, Carmen couldn’t stop humming. For her part, Serena talked more about Steve than she ever had before. “Okay, maybe it’s getting a little serious,” she admitted, eventually submitting to her mother’s grilling.
At the table, it was Felix’s turn to ask about Steve, and all Maria could do was smile. Between her career, her family, and now Colin, things were on the way up. As they cleared the table, Maria realized again that she was no longer obsessing about the man in the baseball hat, partly because of everything else going on, but also because there’d been no sign of him lately.
She wanted to think he’d given up—that he’d finished rattling her cage. But as much as she’d enjoyed the temporary reprieve, she wasn’t yet ready to believe it was completely over.
Before a rainbow, after all, there’s usually a storm.
The weather was too cool to paddleboard, and since Colin was occupied, Maria spent the rest of the afternoon and evening trying to catch up on office work. With Lynn absent and Barney operating at less than full capacity, the fact that she’d be leaving in three weeks made her feel a bit guilty. Not guilty enough to change her mind, but enough to keep her at the MacBook until her documents became a blur and writing became pointless.
When she awoke the next morning, Maria found herself wondering about the coming week—how much worse the mood at the office was going to be—and whether anyone else had made the decision to leave. Most of the partners were as distracted as Barney and Ken, which meant work was probably backlogged in every department, and making new hires was going to be tough once word of the firm’s troubles leaked out. No doubt it already had.
For now, she resolved to make her own departure as painless for Barney as possible. Hitching her purse over her shoulder, she grabbed her briefcase and headed out the door, her eyes flashing to the doormat.
It took a moment to process what she was seeing before her breath caught in her throat.
A wilted rose, with petals turning black, along with a note.
You will know how it feels.
Almost like she was dreaming, her feet remained rooted to the doorstep, because she knew there would be more. On the railing near the steps was another rotting rose that drooped under the weight of another card. Willing her feet to move forward, she stepped over the flower on her doormat and moved closer to read:
Why did you hate her?
The parking lot outside her door was deserted, the sidewalk empty; no cars she didn’t recognize. Her mouth was dry as she locked the door behind her and lifted the rose from the mat. Grabbing the flower that had been threaded through the railing, she forced herself to walk down the steps, her eyes scanning her car.
As she’d feared, her tires had been slashed. On the windshield, an envelope was tucked beneath the wiper.
Later, she’d be amazed at how calmly she’d handled the discoveries, at the clarity of her thoughts. When she reached for the envelope, she thought about fingerprints and how best to read the letter without damaging any evidence and held the envelope at the creases. In that moment, she felt no panic; rather, she was overcome with a slow, sinking sensation, a recognition of inevitability. Somehow, some way, she’d known this was coming.
The letter, computer generated, was printed on a single sheet of unlined printer paper, the kind that could be purchased at any office supply store. The final line, however, had been handwritten in boxy, almost childlike lettering.
You don’t think I know what you did? You DON’T THINK I KNOW WHO WAS BEHIND ALL OF IT? You don’t THINK I can SEE INTO YOUR MIND and know what YOU DID! You have taken THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT
Your HEART IS FILLED WITH POISON and you are THE DESTROYER! You POISON and you WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH IT You will know how it feels, because I am IN CONTROL NOW
I am the living INNOCENT ONE
SEE ME just as I see you!
When she finished the letter, Maria read it a second time, feeling physically ill. The disintegrating rose was still on the windshield and she reached for it, grouping it with the others in a gruesome bouquet.
Turning away from her car, she started back toward her condo, her limbs heavy with dread. The signs, she realized, had been obvious, and she’d willfully ignored them. All at once, memories sparked like blinding visions before her: Gerald Laws being interviewed by the police, with his neatly parted hair and white teeth; Cassie Manning, her young face distorted with fear; Cassie’s father, Avery, frighteningly certain of Laws’s intentions and possessed of a burning intensity himself; Cassie’s mother, Eleanor, mousy and silent and above all, frightened. And finally Lester, the nail-chewing, nervous brother who’d sent her so many terrible notes after Cassie’s death.
Those awful notes, reflecting his gradually escalating anger. Like Laws’s letters to Cassie while he was in prison.
The first step in a pattern…
On the way up the stairs to her door, Maria’s cell phone rang. Serena. She ignored the call, needing to talk to Colin. She needed him to make her feel safe; here and now, she felt exposed. With shaking hands, she dialed him, wondering how soon he’d be able to make it to her place.
A pattern…
Margolis had told her to come to him with the report, and she wanted Colin there for that as well. She had to tell Margolis about Gerald Laws and Cassie Manning, the woman whom Laws had killed. She wanted to tell him about the Manning family and everything that had happened to her recently. But mostly she wanted to tell him that she knew exactly who was stalking her, and what his endgame was going to be.