CHAPTER TWENTY
Lucas
Jealousy. That was new.
It was nothing like those quick and thoughtless gut reactions I’d experienced in the past. Oh no, this was more intense than fast, and certainly not thoughtless. It was the full thing. The full-on blood-boiling, gut-wrenching, want-to-growl thing.
I’d wanted to say something back at the café. I’d wanted to mark my territory and say mine, like a Neanderthal. An animal.
Just like I’d behaved at the Halloween party.
But I wasn’t supposed to think about that.
I’d tried my best these past few days, and failed. I’d tried to pretend that those moments in that stall weren’t all I thought of when Rosie bit her lip in thought, or when she came close and I got a whiff of her scent, or when our hands brushed reaching for the salt and caramel popcorn I made for her.
Some days, I found excuses to touch her. I’d tell her she had something in her hair. Or that I’d thought there had been something clinging to her clothes. Sometimes, I reached for her and didn’t come up with an excuse in time so I just smiled at her like a total idiot, and hoped for the best.
And here I was, feeling jealous. Like I had any right to claim ownership over Rosie after a couple of experimental dates and whispering some dirty words in her ear.
How did I dare to call her mine after just that?
She deserved men in tuxedos that took her to fancy places in Manhattan. And I… didn’t even own a tux. I didn’t even have a button-down shirt or a blazer with me, for crying out loud.
It was laughable, really.
No wonder Lina had flipped at the idea of us becoming… whatever, everything, anything.
“Lucas?” Rosie’s voice drew my attention back to her as we exited the subway station closest to our place. Our place, which wasn’t even ours and we wouldn’t be sharing for much longer.
I sighed. “Yeah, Ro?”
“I’ve been thinking,” she said so slowly that it made me glance over at her. “Actually, I haven’t been thinking this for long, but I was wondering, you know, now that I’m writing, and our experiment is working, if it makes sense anymore.”
My fingers tightened around the bag I was carrying. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you’ve helped me so much already, you know? I think I might have everything under control. It has been all slowly coming to me, and I’m no longer lost, poking around in a fog. And we said we wouldn’t allow this arrangement to put any awkwardness between us but I…” She blew air through her mouth. “I… I don’t know, Lucas, it felt a little awkward at the coffee shop so I just—”
She stopped herself. She was looking everywhere but at me, and I didn’t like that. Not one bit. Because I wanted her eyes on me, especially if she was talking about something important.
I came to a stop on the sidewalk and waited until she met my gaze. “Do you want to date him? Aiden?” I asked, keeping my voice as light as I possibly could. Because if that was the reason, I wanted to hear it. I needed to hear it. “You want to go on real dates?”
I wanted to take back the word real, because whatever had happened between us, on those two experimental dates or even at the Masquerade Ball, hadn’t been faked, forced, or not real in any way. But I’d used it, because if she wanted real dates with other men, who was I to stop her?
But Rosie didn’t seem to mind my use of the word and I’d be lying if I said that that didn’t sting. “Maybe I want the real thing. Not with Aiden, but maybe I want the real dates.”
Of course, she did.
And that felt like a sucker punch to the gut.
Could I even give her that? No, I couldn’t when I was leaving. I wanted to give her things I didn’t have.
Something must have changed in my expression because her brows furrowed in confusion. “The three experimental dates we’ve gone on have been more than I could have asked for.”
“Two dates.” I carefully placed a hand at the small of her back and resumed walking. “We’ve only gone on two, Ro.”
“I thought we were counting the masquerade as one.”
I retracted my arm, readjusting the strap of her laptop bag on my shoulder just so I wouldn’t do something stupid. Or reckless. “Why? I didn’t plan anything. In fact, I didn’t do a single thing.”
Phase three. Infatuation. Intimacy. Seduction. I remembered those three points perfectly. I’d been thinking about them a lot.
“You did, Lucas,” she said, returning her gaze to the sidewalk ahead of us. “In phase three, the physical connection takes the wheel. The infatuation becomes tangible, a breathing living thing between the two… parties. It’s about breaking that barrier that holds you back and letting go. See if that person pulls you in enough to want to move things forward. Let them progress into physical intimacy.”
“I see.” I didn’t just see; I felt it in my pulse. I felt it drum in my body.
Rosie chuckled and it was soft and self-conscious. “I don’t think I’d ever been properly seduced,” she told me, as if that wasn’t supposed to make me want to howl at the moon like a lunatic. What the hell was wrong with me? She continued, “Like, sure, all men I’ve dated have said or done things to get in my panties. Successfully, I may add.” And that didn’t do anything to appease the beast, if my knuckles turning white around the bag were anything to go by. “But never, like, you know. What happened.”
What happened.
Before I knew what I was doing, I had come to a stop again. “Rosie—”
“I don’t want to make this weird,” she said, stopping a step ahead of me. “Because I’m sure it was like a lapse in judgment or whatever.” Her cheeks turned pink. “I mean, I literally had to force you to look at me. But it still counts. Research is research.”
That was what she thought?
“Force me?” I spat out, stepping in her direction. “You think you had to force me to look at you? In the name of research?”
“You don’t have to explain anything. And I shouldn’t have phrased it like that, either.”
My teeth ground. My disbelief turned to frustration, because how could she ever think that I—
“Rosie,” I said, making sure I was coming as close as possible to her without touching her. Because if I did, I knew it’d be game over for me. “If we weren’t friends,” I told her, voice like gravel. “Good friends like we are, best friends”—I watched her eyelids flutter shut—“I would take you somewhere dark and rip your clothes off with my teeth without caring to have a good reason. Just so I could see you, have you to myself.”
Rosie’s lips parted, and when her tongue came out and wet her lips, it almost became physically impossible for me to hold back any longer. God, I wanted to touch her, lick her, kiss her everywhere.
I stepped away in a brisk motion. Then I moved forward again, and as if compelled, I grabbed her hand.
“Count the Halloween party as an experimental date if you like,” I told her, leading her forward with me. “But we shook on four. We agreed four dates.”
Her fingers tightened around mine.
“So, I already planned for the next one,” I continued. “I was going to tell you to keep your schedule free on Thursday.” I remembered Aiden Castillo’s great news. “Or if you want to pack on Thursday, I can help you and we could postpone. I guess—”
“No,” she finally said, and the way that word left her mouth made me look over at her. “Thursday night is okay. It’s a date.”
Nodding my head, I ripped my gaze off her and clamped down my mouth before I said something stupid, like how neither of us had called this fourth date experimental.
A few minutes later, we were climbing the stairs to the apartment, Rosie’s hand still in mine, when she called. “Lucas?”
“Yeah?”
“I hope… I hope this makes you happy.”
Puzzled by her words, I frowned. My mouth opened just as we entered the hallway and I spotted the door of the apartment, which was thrown wide open.
Shouting came from the inside and then, a blur of black fur was shooting in my direction.
“Pero qué cojones—”
I was toppled over, my ass landing on the cold floor, and a soft, energetic ball of warmth settled in my lap.
“¡Te dije que lo sujetaras!” came from the apartment.
I looked down, the familiarity of this, of the furry ball currently curling around me hitting me like a freight train. “Taco,” I said, hearing the surge of emotion in my voice. “Taco, chico. ¿Qué haces aquí?”
My Belgian shepherd jumped out of my arms and circled around me before returning to my lap and placing a wet kiss on my cheek.
I tried to mumble something, but words had really been knocked out of me. All I could feel was happiness at seeing my pup, at having him here with me.
Placing a hard kiss on top of his fur, I released him and let out a strange laugh myself.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” I patted his side. He whined. “I’ve missed you, too, chico.”
God, and I had. So much.
Slowly, I started making sense of my surroundings, and I wasn’t surprised when the first thing my eyes found was Rosie. She was standing a couple of feet to my right, her eyes watery despite the bright smile adorning her beautiful face.
“Taco’s here,” I told her, as if she couldn’t see that.
She nodded, that big smile widening.
Her eyes darted to my bad leg, as it stretched on the ground in front of me.
“I’m okay,” I whispered before she asked. “I’m more than okay.”
And she nodded again.
“Hermanito,” a voice I hadn’t been expecting called. “Este perro es incontrolable.”
Little brother, this dog is unmanageable.
“Charo?” I croaked. She was here, too, leaning against the frame of the door. Two new heads popped up behind her.
“Surprise!” Lina shouted, Aaron behind her. “Fine, we’re not a surprise. Charo and Taco are the surprise. We’re here just for fun and giggles. Also, to ask you for joint custody of Taco? Please? Maybe not tonight, but tomorrow?”
“But—” I started, then stopped myself. “How?”
Charo’s flaming red hair swayed when she shrugged. “I was feeling in the mood for a little adventure, and you know Tía Tere? Well, her best friend’s cousin is a flight attendant and—”
“Charo,” Lina chimed. “No te enrolles.”
My sister sighed. “Ay, anyway. We flew in to see you. Especially Taco, who will stay with you. I’m only spending a couple nights with Lina and Aaron and then I will fly to Boston, where my friend Alicia moved last year after—”
Lina elbowed my sister, making her stop again.
Taco, who had calmed down by now, was curled between my legs, nudging my leg, and my palm fell on his head without much thought. I petted him between his ears. “How did you fly him in? How—”
“Well…” Charo cut me off with a wicked smile. “It’s funny that you ask that.”
I frowned and Lina said, “We made sure he was safe and comfortable.”
Shaking my head, I was about to say thank you and tell them that this meant the world to me, when Charo said, “Rosie took care of everything.” And my head swiveled in her direction. Her eyes were wide. “She was the one who did all the research we needed to fly Taco in the cabin. She even took care of most of the paperwork, paid for Taco’s ticket. Actually, us coming to the States was her idea.”
Rosie blushed when she murmured, “That was supposed to be a secret, remember, Charo?”
“Ay mujer.” Charo laughed. “You’re family, there’s no such thing as secrets when we’re family.”
You’re family, she’d told Rosie.
And my chest swelled with that possibility.
“You did this, Ro?” I rasped. “For me?”
Rosie shrugged. “Lina mentioned Taco had emotional support training, and with Charo’s—”
“It all worked out,” my sister interrupted her. “No need to get into all the details.”
I swallowed, my brain trying to put the pieces together.
I had noticed how Charo had stopped Rosie from saying more but I couldn’t see past what Taco being here meant. Rosie had done this. For me. To make me happy.
I wanted to lay myself at her feet because no one had ever done something so thoughtful for me. Something this personal, something that had been designed to bring only me happiness.
I wanted to pull her into my arms and thank her, worship her, make sure she knew how grateful I was. Fuck. I wanted her. Now more than ever.
Taco barked, snapping me out of those dangerous, dangerous thoughts. Rosie took a tentative step toward Taco, her hand outstretched. “Can I?”
“Of course. He doesn’t bite,” I said. And when she sidled up beside us, I added so only she could hear, “Me, on the other side? I could eat you right up.”
Rosie snorted, as if I’d been joking. I hadn’t been. I’d start at her mouth.
Then, she said very quietly, “I want him to like me.”
“Rosie,” I told her, aware of the group assembled nearby. “Taco will—”
He pounced on Rosie, bringing her down to the ground.
“Love you,” I finished, watching him plant kisses all over her face. Rosie laughed like it was the best thing to ever happen to her. “Taco will love you.”
A pang of the emotion I’d been experiencing earlier tonight was back, and I couldn’t believe it myself, I wouldn’t have if I weren’t feeling it in my gut.
But as I kept my eyes on Taco and Rosie, it was impossible to deny that I was jealous of my dog for being in her arms, free to plant kisses all over her face.
Ah, jealousy. My old friend.