Chapter 17
Bennett
"What the fuck is going on?" I hiss to the empty room and toss my phone on the couch next to me. I'm sitting on the couch in my living room in the dark. After driving from Presley's mother’s house, I made my way back to Presley's house, thinking maybe I missed her on her way home. But when I pulled up and walked up the steps to ring the doorbell, I found all the lights off. I punched in the code on the door and walked in as I called her name. I took the steps two at a time and found her bedroom in darkness. There was no sign of her in the house. I slammed the front door behind me as I got back in the car and went to her office. Maybe she went there to grab her car, I tell myself, trying to keep the bad thoughts at bay. "Pick up, pick up, pick up." I willed her every single time I called her, but all I got was her voice mail.
My heart calmed down when I pulled into the parking lot and saw her car still there. She was probably working since she took some time off this afternoon. But it was only for a moment. When I ran up the steps to the front door, it was locked. I walked around to the back like a creeping Peeping Tom, only to find that everything inside was closed and dark. I went back to my house, hoping maybe she was there waiting for me, but all I came home to was a house that smelled like a field of flowers.
I put my head back, rubbing my face with both my hands, the knots in my stomach getting bigger and bigger as the seconds feel like hours. "Where are you, Presley?" I ask the empty room, hoping that maybe by saying her name, she will magically appear. I get not answering my calls when she was with her mother, but I know she's not there, and something in me tells me something is wrong. Or it could be my head playing tricks with me. Either way I'm about to get desperate enough to call her mother, and that isn't going to be good for anyone. I think about calling Travis, but what am I going to say? "Your sister isn't answering my phone call." It sounds so juvenile
I grab the phone again from beside me, dialing her again, expecting it to ring four times before going to voice mail, but this time, it doesn't. The minute I hear someone say, “Hello," I sit up and my heart speeds up again.
"Presley?" I say her name even though I know it's not her. She probably lost her phone, which is why she hasn't been calling me.
"No, it's Clarabella." Everything in me turns cold, yet I have no reason for it. The way she is talking is very soft and feels as if she's trying not to be heard.
"Hey." I try not to sound so anxious. “Sorry I didn't recognize your voice. I was looking for Presley." I swallow the lump that has now moved from my stomach to the middle of my chest, and now it's stuck in my throat. “Is she there?"
"Yes," she says, and I hear rustling on her end. “But she can't come to the phone right now."
I'm about to say what the actual fuck out loud, but instead, I reel it back in, but not as good as I had it planned in my head. "Okay," I snap. “What the fuck is going on?" I close my eyes, ready to kick myself for how that came out.
"She's," she whispers softly and then I hear the sound of her heels clicking on the floor. “She's with the doctor." The hairs on my neck stand up when she says those words.
If I thought I was ready for whatever she was going to tell me, I was wrong. My feet are moving even before I realize what is going on. I'm out the door and in the car. “Where are you?" So many things are going through my head, but none of them good. All of them bad and all of them lead me to be without one of them, and I can't even fathom that thought. The thought alone feels like razor blades cutting into my flesh.
"She's going to kill me," Clarabella huffs, and I can hear her voice tremble, and my heart breaks. "I don't—"
"Clarabella," I cut her off. “You can either tell me where you are," I say between clenched teeth as I back out of the driveway, “or I call your mother." I know it's a low blow, but I have no choice. “And then spend the rest of the time calling every single hospital until I find her."
"Wow,” Clarabella says. “I'm at Memorial." She names the hospital, and I don't even know if I say goodbye. All I know is that I hang up. I rush over there, and the whole time my head is screaming that she didn't call me. Why didn't she call me? I shake my head, and the fear that I had before now turns into nerves. I pull up into the emergency parking lot and pull in the first open spot I find. Grabbing the keys and my phone, I don't even know if I close the door before rushing to the entrance.
I run all the way to the door, rushing in sideways as the door opens at a snail's pace. I look around the room with brown chairs everywhere, not seeing Clarabella. My eyes look everywhere to see if there are signs to direct me to maybe a maternity ward. I look down at my phone, calling Presley, but it goes straight to voice mail. I take a couple more steps into the room, and when I spot a woman sitting behind a glass window, I walk over. “Excuse me," I tell her, and she looks up from her computer. “I'm looking for Presley Baker.”
"Are you family?” she asks as she turns to the computer.
I swallow before answering her. “I am not."
"We can't give out personal and confidential information to non-family members," she tells me, and I know that she is sticking to protocol, but right now, all I can think about is getting to Presley.
"They just called me from here,” I lie just a bit. “I'm the father."
She looks me up and down, and it feels like she's judging me for not being here before now, and if I were here, I would probably be doing the same. "Wait here." She pushes away from the desk and gets up, going I don't even know where. I run my hands through my hair. Taking my phone out of my pocket, I call Presley, but it goes straight to voice mail this time, and I'm about to throw the fucking thing against the wall when I hear my name being called.
"Bennett." I look over and see Clarabella coming out of a hallway. Her face is streaked with tears as she pretends she is okay. I look around to see if Presley is with her, but she's alone.
"Where is she?" I ask. My mouth suddenly goes dry, so dry I can't swallow.
"She's being monitored," she shares, and I take a step toward the hallway, and I'm stopped.
"Clarabella." I say her name, almost hissing. “You can tell me where she is, or I go to jail finding out where she is. I'm at my fucking wit's end right now."
She holds up her hands. “I know," she says softly. “I'll take you to her." She turns, and I follow her, not saying another word.
As I walk down the white corridor, I scan all the rooms looking for her. My head is going around and around with all these questions, but no answers are given. When Clarabella stops, she looks over at me. “I know you are freaking out, but go easy in there."
I just nod at her, not sure how my voice is going to come out. I'm also not prepared for what I'm walking into. I step into the room after Clarabella, seeing Presley sitting up in the hospital bed. "Hey," Presley says when she looks at me. I can see the dried tears on her face. She looks pale, and her hand is on her stomach, and I have to wonder if everything is okay.
I stop mid step looking at her. She's even wearing a hospital gown. “I would have come sooner," I tell her, still not going to her. Not sure I can.
"I'll give you two a minute,” Clarabella says, looking at Presley and then giving me a sad smile on the way out.
"Why didn't you call me?" is the first thing that comes out of my mouth. The pressure on my chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it while a tiger comes by and rips my heart out.
"It was no big deal." She tries to smile but nothing comes. "I was spotting a bit, so I came here to make sure that I was okay." My stomach that was in my throat has now sunk to my feet.
"You were spotting a little bit." Not sure I understand what is happening. "You were bleeding."
"Yes," she answers and wipes the tear off her cheek. “But the baby is fine." She answers the question I've been dying to know. "The doctor came in and checked me before and we heard the baby's heartbeat." She puts her hands on her stomach. “He's going to monitor me for a couple of hours." She shrugs, trying to pretend that it's nothing. “So like I said, it was no big deal."
"It wasn't a big deal," I repeat her words, my voice staying monotone. The picture of her coming here scared out of her mind flashes before my eyes. The other picture that flashes before my eyes is me not being here with her. The thought is almost too much to bear. I should step out of the room and calm myself before we talk about anything else.
"Yes, there wasn't a reason for us both to freak out." She avoids looking at me and looks down at her stomach.
"I thought we were doing this together.” When my voice comes out almost broken, her eyes fly up to mine as she looks at me in shock. Her eyes look into mine, and I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I love her. I also know that she will never love me like I want her to.
"We are doing this together," she reassures me, but the only thing I can focus on is that she went through this without me.
"But then this happens, and you don't even call me." The tears fill my eyes. “You don't send me a message." I shake my head. “I drove around looking for you, worried. I had no answers. I had no idea that all this time you were here going through all of this, and I was none the wiser."
"I didn't think…" she says, and I hold up my hand to stop her from talking. The more she talks and tries to make this not a big deal, the angrier I get.
"Unless you did think and didn't care." I laugh bitterly, knowing that this moment is the moment I've been dreading. The moment that I knew would somehow come, yet didn't want it. The moment that makes my heart shatter in my chest. "I've been a fool all this time."