CHAPTER TWO
Lindy had a hard time believing her childhood letters to Santa had any significance to her current messy life. Nevertheless, she was curious, and reached for the letter at the top of the box.
Opening the envelope, she pulled a single sheet from inside and spread it out on the table. In her childish, awkward print, she’d written:
Dear Santa,
Please bring me a daddy.
Lindy
Lindy glanced at her mother and smiled. “I didn’t ask for toys? I can remember wanting a bike around that time.”
“That came later. All you wanted that Christmas was a dad.”
“I don’t remember any of this.”
“Honey, you were only five. You’d started kindergarten, and for the first time noticed that the other children had fathers and you didn’t.”
Lindy shook her head. She had little recollection of that Christmas. What she did remember was that bike. As she thought back, she realized her mother was right in that all she had asked for was a dad.
“I remember when I read your letter. No way was I going to be able to give you a father. My heart sank,” her mother said. “The only man I’d ever loved had left me. I hadn’t heard from him since the day I told him I was pregnant. Through some friends of mine, I learned he’d married someone else shortly after you were born.”
“We were far better off without him.” Lindy believed that with all her heart. She wouldn’t have had the father who loved and raised her if this sperm donor had stuck around, although at the time she understood how his rejection must have badly hurt her mother. Over the years, Lindy hadn’t wondered about him herself. Because she was loved by the dad who’d adopted her, she’d never felt the need to know anything about the man responsible for her birth.
“We are much better off,” her mother agreed. “Of all the things you might have asked for, a father was the one thing I couldn’t give you. It broke my heart.”
“Oh, Mom, I’m so sorry.”
“You need to understand. That year, Christmas was bleak. My parents left to spend the holidays with my brother in Kansas, and it was just the two of us. With everything in me, I wanted to make this special for you, because you were going to miss Gamma and Papa.”
Lindy knew how dearly her mother loved Christmas, and how hard it must have been for her to be alone, instead of with her family. And then Lindy had to ask for the one thing her mother couldn’t provide.
—
Relaxing against the back of the chair, Ellen’s memories returned to that fateful Christmas. With her parents gone, she was alone over the holidays for the first time in her life. She’d done everything she could think of to make it as perfect as she could for her little girl. With a single income, making ends meet was difficult.
Christmas Eve she sat up until nearly midnight, wrapping the few gifts she was able to put under the tree for Lindy. All the while, she regretted that she wouldn’t be able to give her beautiful daughter the one thing she’d so desperately wanted—a daddy.
Trust was a huge issue with her, after what happened with Robbie. He’d said all the right things, lavished her with compliments, seduced her, and then, once he got what he wanted, he changed. His calls became infrequent, and when he did show up there was only one thing that interested him. All the signs were there, only she’d been blind. So blind. His promises were empty, and when she learned she was pregnant, the truth hit her square between the eyes.
How grateful Ellen was for her parents, who loved her and helped support her through the pregnancy. After Lindy was born, they’d helped her get into a small apartment. Robbie had abandoned her and claimed he wanted nothing to do with his daughter. With that attitude, Ellen made the painful decision to cut him completely out of their lives. Robbie was more than happy to sign away all parental rights, which meant he didn’t need to pay child support. Consequently, Ellen struggled financially.
Still, she’d been determined to make this a good Christmas for her daughter. Due to her parents’ generosity, there were plenty of gifts under the tree for Lindy to open.
Christmas morning, Lindy roared out of bed and raced barefoot to the Christmas tree, sliding toward it like she was running for first base. “Can we open gifts now?” she pleaded.
Ellen brewed herself a cup of tea and smiled as Lindy opened one small gift after another.
“Mommy, look, Gamma and Papa got me a baking oven!”
“Wonderful. You can bake a cake for our Christmas dinner.”
Lindy set the gift aside and reached for another package. Tearing away the wrapping, she groaned a sigh. “It’s underwear.”
“Yes, look how pretty it is.”
“No one is supposed to see it, though.”
Ellen constrained her amusement. “You’re right. You shouldn’t show anyone your new pretty underwear.”
After three or four presents, Lindy settled back on her feet and looked expectantly at Ellen.
“What’s the matter, honey, don’t you like your gifts?”
Lindy was quick to nod. “I do. I wanted that bake oven forever and I love the new game and my puzzle. But Santa didn’t answer my letter.”
“I know, honey, and I’m sorry. Do you want to play with your new game?”
Lindy was quick to agree, and the two played several games before Ellen cooked them breakfast. Afterward, they watched Ellen’s favorite Christmas movies and they talked to her parents and brother in Kansas City. Joe asked if his gifts had arrived, and when she said they hadn’t, he apologized for mailing them off so late.
When they were off the phone, Lindy mixed up the batter for a small cake to bake in her new oven.
Because it was just the two of them, Ellen roasted a chicken for their dinner. The scent of it drifted through their apartment.
“Chicken is my favorite,” Lindy said, as she patiently waited for her cake to finish cooking. She sat in front of the tiny oven and stared at it, watching the small timer tick away.
“Chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy.”
“And peas,” Lindy insisted.
“And peas.” Lindy liked to squish them up with her potatoes and then add the gravy.
It was while she was peeling the potatoes for their dinner that the doorbell rang.
Before Ellen could put down the knife, Lindy was on her feet. “Mommy, Mommy, maybe it’s Santa.”
Before Ellen could stop her, Lindy raced to the front door and threw it open. “Did Santa send you?” she asked, with wide-eyed expectation.
“I believe he did,” the man said, as Ellen stepped out of the kitchen.
“Are you my daddy?” Lindy asked. She whirled around, her eyes bright with joy. “See, Mommy, Santa got my letter after all.”
Ellen’s face flushed red with embarrassment, and she avoided looking at the man in the doorway.
“Ellen?”
She glanced up and stared. “Phillip? What are you doing here?” She didn’t mean to sound unwelcoming. She’d known Phillip in high school and hadn’t seen him since they’d graduated.
“I work for UPS.”
She should have realized that, as he was dressed in his brown uniform. “You deliver on Christmas?”
He shrugged. “All the other drivers are married with families. I’m single and volunteered to do the deliveries, thinking some little girl might be waiting for a gift from Santa.” With that, he handed the package to Lindy. “I believe this one is addressed to your mom and you.”
Lindy grabbed hold of the boxed gift.
Phillip smiled. “I should confess I recognized your name and saved your package for last.”
“Please come in where it’s warm,” she said, when she realized this was his last stop. Ellen remembered that Phillip had always been shy.
“It’s just the two of you?” he asked, looking around.
Ellen nodded. “Mom and Dad are with my brother in Kansas City.”
Lindy was sitting on the floor, opening the package, which was from Lindy’s godmother. Inside was a doll for Lindy and another package wrapped for Ellen.
“I suppose you’re in a rush to get back to your family,” Ellen said.
Phillip shook his head. “My parents are with my grandparents in Yakima.”
In other words, he was alone on Christmas, too. “It isn’t much, but would you like to join us for dinner?” Ellen asked. “I mean, if you want. No pressure.”
“I’d like that more than I can say.” His eyes held hers and they were filled with promise.
Shaking her head to clear the memories, Ellen’s gaze returned to Lindy, who was staring down at the letter she’d written all those years ago.
—
“Dad arrived that Christmas Day,” Lindy whispered.
“Yes, it was your daddy, the very daddy you’d asked Santa to bring you.”
“I don’t remember writing Santa,” Lindy said, running her finger over the clumsily drawn letters. “But I certainly recall you and Dad dating and how patient and kind he was to me.”
“Don’t you remember me saying your dad was the best Christmas present I ever received?”
“Yes, but I had no idea his arrival that day had anything to do with my letter to Santa…I mean, that’s a stretch, isn’t it? More of a coincidence.”
“You might not think so, if you read the remainder of the letters.”
“I will, but I want to hear more about that Christmas when I was five.”
—
Oh, the memories. Phil had returned for dinner after dropping off the UPS truck.
Once again, Lindy hurried to the front door, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside the house. Ellen had the table set and had refreshed her makeup. She remembered the shy looks he’d given her back in school. He’d never asked her out. If he’d found the nerve, she would have gladly accepted.
“Mommy’s a good cook,” Lindy told him. “Almost as good as Gamma.”
Lindy led him to the sofa and then sat down next to him. “I’m five and I can read.”
“You must be very smart.”
“Do you want me to read you a story?”
“I would.”
Ellen was flustered. “Lindy, let’s wait until after dinner, okay?”
She looked disappointed but agreed. “Okay. I got pretty underwear for Christmas, but Mommy said I’m not supposed to show it to people.”
“Your mommy is a wise woman.”
Ellen coughed. If she was wise, she wouldn’t have ended up as a single mother.
“She’s pretty, too.”
“Yes, she is,” Phillip agreed. “I’ve always thought so.”
For the next several minutes Lindy chatted away as if she’d saved every experience from the first five years of her life to tell him. He was wonderful, patient, and attentive.
And that Christmas Day was only the beginning. Phillip quickly became a part of Ellen and Lindy’s life. And as Ellen had so often said, he was the best Christmas present ever.
“And then later, Dad adopted me,” Lindy said.
“That he did. We were married the next summer, and within a few months after our wedding, he legally became your father.”
“I’m pretty sure I know why you saved that letter to Santa,” Lindy teased.
“Open the next one,” her mother urged.