Chapter Seventeen
Natalie woke up for the second time that day, but now it was midafternoon and she was gritty-eyed and disoriented. Her argument with August in the wee hours of the morning felt like a dream, but the queasiness in her stomach told her no, it had definitely happened. She’d attempted to people before coffee, before her brain fully woke up—and she’d acted like a bozo.
Had she really stormed off in a sheet because he wouldn’t initially explain his phone call? Dear God. This marriage was supposed to be a business arrangement. She’d been the one to propose it. And on day one, she’d acted like some kind of jealous lover.
Furthermore, she’d slept in his bed.
As far from a business agreement as one could get.
Nervous energy—and a dire need for distraction—forced Natalie out of the comfortable mess of sheets where she’d fallen asleep around six A.M. Slowly, she creaked open the guest bedroom door and peered out, finding Menace staring back at her curiously from the middle of the kitchen table. But no August. Thank God. She needed to thoroughly wake up and get ahold of her long-lost faculties before coming face-to-face with her husband again.
Retreating back into the bedroom for clothes and her toiletries bag, she closed herself in their shared bathroom a moment later, sighing as the heavy aroma of grapefruit snuck up and ambushed her. Memories rushed in from the last time she stood in this shower, getting pleasure from August. Scenes, naked ones, bombarded her, making her movements clumsy as she twisted the handle, setting the water temperature to scalding.
She went through the motions of showering—only allowing herself one or two itty-bitty sniffs of August’s homemade soap—while contemplating her new role as a fake wife and employee of Zelnick Cellar. Her title didn’t have to be in name alone. She could help this place run successfully. At the very least, she had a whole month to give August a running start.
Natalie turned off the shower, climbed out, and got dressed in a pair of shorts and a loose, long-sleeved shirt. She went back to her room, dried her hair, and left the house with a purpose: find a way to help. She should just stay locked in the guest room and pray for her trust fund to promptly arrive in her bank account. But she’d spent so much time laughing off August’s attempts at winemaking when the cause was a good one. A worthy one.
And maybe she wanted to be a part of it somehow.
Maybe his happiness meant a little something to her.
Natalie stopped in the entrance to the production barn when she saw August standing before the row of barrels, stirring the settled yeast. The temperature in the barn was slightly warm for this time of year and there was every chance it was affecting his process. Granted, he didn’t have the budget for a more advanced facility, but they could certainly find a way to cool down the barrels by a few degrees. Had he tested the nitrogen content of the grapes?
August turned suddenly, his expression going from surprised to slightly guarded. “Sorry, what was that?”
Voicing her private thoughts out loud without being aware of it was a fun new habit. “I was just wondering if you’d tested the nitrogen content. Of the grapes.”
She wanted to go closer. Wanted to peer into the barrels herself and sort through the tools on the nearby table, just to see what he was working with, but August’s stiff shoulder muscles cast an invisible barrier. Or maybe she was imagining that?
Sure, he’d asked her to stay out of the barn. But that was prewedding and they’d been in the midst of an argument. Had his request been serious?
“Um . . .” She squared her shoulders and tried again. “How soon after the first racking did you remove the layer of gross lees?”
“Gross what?” After what felt like an eternity, August cleared his throat. “Are you talking about that thick layer of shit that appeared on the surface after I pressed the grapes and put them in the barrels?”
She exhaled. “Yes.”
The fact that they were on the same page relaxed his shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess . . . about a week.”
Problem number one detected. The gross lees should be racked off after one or two days. But she didn’t say it out loud. She simply nodded when he looked back at her over his shoulder.
“I’ve got this, Natalie,” he said. “It’s all right if you want to go back to the house. Or . . .”
“Oh,” she said, a little caught off guard. She was no stranger to going toe-to-toe with August, but he’d never outright dismissed her. “I thought we were going to dig into the issues you’re having with production.”
“Yeah. It’s just, uh . . .” He coughed. “It’s just that I feel like I have to do this for Sam alone. It’s my responsibility. I want the responsibility.”
Natalie ignored the wound that formed in the center of her belly. Just like Corinne and Julian, August wanted things done a certain way and it did not include Natalie. She was not welcome. Both vineyards could be sinking into the red and still, her assistance would not be required. Same old story. But why did it hurt more that August wanted to manage on his own? That he didn’t want any help—her help—with the winemaking? She was used to her family being dismissive of her efforts but August . . . again, he wasn’t supposed to push her away. It stung, even if she understood that his grief over Sam caused him to react in ways no one could fully comprehend.
Setting aside the hurt, she took a moment to try to see things from his perspective. He’d gone on this mission for his best friend. August was the only one standing here who knew what Sam wanted. “I haven’t lost anyone close to me, but I think grief can be expressed in a lot of different ways.”
August’s shoulders drooped a little, his eyes casting guarded gratitude in her direction. “I wouldn’t talk to the guys about Sam’s death. I didn’t even tell anyone but my CO that I was coming here, buying the vineyard. I didn’t want any of them to ask to be involved. Isn’t that fucked up?” He rubbed at his throat. “It’s just that I was closer to him than anyone else and . . .”
“You want to carry all the weight yourself.”
“Yeah. If I give anyone else some of the weight, it feels like a cop out. Or like I’m shirking responsibility. So I just have to do it alone.”
Natalie marveled over the fact that she could experience such a piercing sense of sympathy for someone she’d once thought was a bumbling ogre. Occasionally still did. “Do you think he would want it this way? You carrying all the weight?”
August stopped in the middle of nodding. “No.” He let out a gust of breath. “No, he definitely wouldn’t. But that doesn’t change anything.”
“Yeah,” she said softly. “You have to do it your way, August. You’re the only one who knows what that is.” They stared at each other across the barn for several moments, before Natalie realized she was the intruder. Was he waiting for her to leave so he could continue? The possibility made her speak a little too quickly. “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to work. Sorry for acting like a jealous wife this morning.”
“I liked you being a jealous wife—” Immediately, he backpedaled. “No, wait. No. I didn’t mean that. I didn’t like you being jealous, but I loved you expecting more from me.”
A weight slowly traveled from her throat to the center of her chest.
He said the most impactful things sometimes. And he meant them.
But the poor bonehead couldn’t see that simply letting her help would have the biggest impact of all. Explaining that to him would force him into sharing before he was ready.
Maybe he would never be ready.
“Oh well.” The barriers she’d been too tired to engage at the crack of dawn were now up and running, thank God. She stepped backward out of the barn with her chin raised. “I’m going for a walk. I owe Claudia a call back—”
“Wait a few minutes,” he said quickly, fumbling the long wooden spoon a little. “I’ll come with you. Show you around.”
“No, thanks. I’m fine to go alone.” Before she could turn away from his frown, she remembered something and she snapped her fingers. “Oh wait. I’ve been meaning to ask you. Does this property have a wine cave?”
“Uh . . . yeah.” He swiped a wrist across his forehead, but the frown remained. “Yeah, there is an entrance at the rear of the event barn. Or what was going to be the event barn.”
“You had one event.”
“And I sold negative three bottles of wine. I’m not even sure how that math is possible.”
“Half of one ended up on your face.”
“Negative three and a half. I’m coming on your walk.”
She waved him off. “I can find the cave myself.”
“I haven’t been down there in months, but I remember there is no lighting and the stairs are steep—” He started to fan his armpits. “I’m sweating thinking about you in the cave alone. Just give me a second to wrap up here.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I know my way around a cave—and I have my flashlight app.”
“Wait for me,” he growled.
“No.”
This whole argument was beginning to feel like it had a hidden meaning, and she’d woken up this morning—the second time—and decided to uncomplicate their relationship. The more time she spent with August, however, the more convoluted their responsibility to each other seemed to become. And they’d been married less than twenty-four hours.
God save us.
He followed her across the dirt path between the two barns, taking off his gloves and leather apron as he walked and leaving them on the ground in his wake. Ridiculous.
She picked up her pace.
He matched it.
And now they were running, because nothing made sense anymore.
“Goddammit, Natalie.”
She rounded the corner of the event barn and spied the concrete staircase with the rusted metal handrail. “Why can’t you understand that I don’t want company?”
“Too bad. You’re getting it.”
“I like being alone when I’m in the cave.” When that statement sounded confusing to her own ears, she tried to clarify. “The one at Vos, I mean.”
He was right behind her now. Mere steps. “How much time do you spend down there?” They were even now, damn his long legs. “And what the hell for?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Sounds like it does matter.”
“No.” She stopped abruptly at the top of the stairs and turned to face him. “I mean . . . it doesn’t matter. That I’m down there. No one ever notices I’m gone.”
“I’d fucking notice,” he shouted down at her.
She fantasized about punching him in that moment. Hard. She truly did. That he could be so caring and protective, but still not realize how much it burned when he locked her out of his grief, out of his winemaking—it was frustrating. And since when did she let him have that power over her? How did he manage to sneak inside her and rearrange things?
“You don’t notice as much as you think you do,” she said, pushing him back a step, then stomping down the concrete stairs toward the cave entrance. After a moment, his tread followed behind her and without turning around, she could sense his poor man-brain working overtime. She almost felt a trace of pity. Almost.
Natalie opened the door slowly and welcomed the scent of earth and mold. Being that this cave hadn’t been used in a while, there was more dust in the stale air that escaped, but the cold, familiar darkness was welcome nonetheless. She opened her flashlight app and shined it in front of her, noting that August was right. The stairs were treacherous. But they were dry and the handrail wasn’t rusted as it was outside. She felt safe enough to venture inside, descending slowly into the underground.
“Natalie . . . ” August said thickly. “Hold on. I think I should go first.”
“I promise you, it’s okay. I’m not scared of a bat or two.”
“Bats?”
“Sure. They love caves. You could have a whole colony down here—”
“You’re going too fast. Slow down.”
Ignoring his odd tone, Natalie swung the flashlight left and revealed a long, oval-shaped room. Cobweb-covered racks lined the wall, empty, and discarded bottles of wine littered the stone floor. More darkness lay beyond in what looked to be a second, smaller room. “Oh my gosh, this is incredible, August. You could fix this up and have private parties down here. Or you could make it a storage room. There are so many different techniques . . .”
She trailed off when she realized August hadn’t answered her in a while.
Pausing midway down the stairs, she turned, using her flashlight to illuminate his face—and found him white as a ghost. His eyes were closed, sweat clinging to his forehead.
“August,” she breathed, alarm gripping her windpipe.
“I’m sorry. I don’t like this. I don’t . . .” He reached for the center of his chest, almost like he expected something to be there. Then he smacked at his waist, his outer thigh. Searching for a gun, she realized. Obviously coming up empty.
That was when the situation they were in started to register differently. They were in near total darkness, traveling into an unfamiliar space. Did this remind him of being in battle?
Did this remind him of . . . what happened to Sam?
“Natalie, I just need you out of here, okay?” he rasped haltingly.
“Yes. Yes, okay.”
She started to retreat up the stairs as quickly as possible, but August met her halfway and scooped her into his arms, jogging the rest of the distance and into the sunlight. He took the outer concrete steps two at a time, at which point his legs just seemed to give out. Still holding her in his arms, he dropped into a kneel in a shaded patch of grass and instinctively, Natalie curled herself around him. She wrapped every available appendage around this shaking man and clung, moisture pooling in her eyes.
“I’m sorry. Oh my God. I didn’t . . . it never occurred to me the cave might bring back bad memories—”
“Of course it didn’t occur to you. It shouldn’t.” His voice just sort of unraveled into her shoulder. “I don’t want you thinking about terrible shit like that.”
Natalie tightened her arms around his neck and slowly, slowly, he laid them down sideways in the grass and she could feel that his T-shirt was soaked in sweat, his heart still going a million miles an hour. “I shouldn’t have barged my way down there. I was just trying to find a way to help where I wouldn’t be in the way.”
He blew a rocky breath into her hair and pulled her closer. “You’re not in the way, but I appreciate that.”
She stroked his back with her fingertips and he sighed, the tension in his muscles ebbing slightly. “Has this happened before?”
“No.” He cradled the back of her skull in his hand and pressed her face more securely to his neck, as if the position comforted him. “No, I left the team after Sam died. I didn’t see any more combat. I couldn’t. There are dreams occasionally, but no flashbacks or panic attacks. Nothing . . . this fucked up.”
“This isn’t fucked up,” she whispered fervently.
He made a sound like he didn’t believe her. A long minute passed, his pulse beginning to slow. Then he said, “Winemaking was the heart of him. He wanted it so bad. And I already . . . I failed him once, Natalie. I wasn’t supposed to let him die. I was supposed to protect him.” A heavy swallow. “He wouldn’t have let it happen to me.”
Natalie’s tears were soaking into the shoulder of his T-shirt now, a torturous wind in her middle. “I’m not a soldier, August, and I don’t know anything about war, but I know your character. And I know if you’d had the slightest hint of a threat to anyone you love, you’d have done something to stop it. I know that like I know the sun will come up tomorrow.” She kissed his salty skin. “It wasn’t your fault.”
They held on to each other tightly in the afternoon sun, time passing without measure. Natalie pushed the lingering sadness she felt about August refusing her help as far away as possible, weighing it down with sympathy and understanding. And an encroaching, never-experienced-before feeling that was too scary to name.
Chapter Eighteen
Going to dinner at his mother-in-law’s house.
August never thought he’d be so excited.
He and Natalie were dressed in business casual attire as they walked out of the house together and called goodbye to the cat. August opened the car door for Natalie so she could slide into the passenger seat and balance a homemade pie on her lap. This was the kind of evening that made the marriage feel real, and goddamn, he loved it, especially since they’d been orbiting each other without touching or speaking much since yesterday.
When he’d lost it in the wine cave.
Yeah, there hadn’t been a lot of conversation since they’d spent hours clinging together outside the event barn, inhaling each other’s exhales, her heartbeat like a song that he could follow out of the darkness. There’d been a lot of staring, however. A lot of passing each other in the kitchen or on the way into the bathroom and looking. Wanting to touch.
August knew damn well Natalie was waiting for him to make a move—and believe him, not taking her to bed was unmitigated torture, but if yesterday had proven anything to him, it was that he needed Natalie to be in his life permanently. He needed to take this slice of time seriously and not get distracted by her smoking-hot, one-of-a-kind rack. He needed her for sixty years, not sixty minutes. What else was a man supposed to believe when the idea of her getting injured made every molecule in his body scream like a child who’d accidentally walked into a theater playing It?
Descending into that cave had been eerily similar to entering the hideout with Sam three years ago. The same dusty waft of decay, the silence and pitch-blackness of it all. And all he could think was I can’t lose her, too. I can’t.
It would be so satisfying to make love and forget about all the obstacles in their path to matrimonial bliss, but if he took that route, he’d wake up one day and she’d be leaving for New York. His dick would have gotten a workout, fine. But she wouldn’t be any closer to loving him back. Or believing they could go the distance.
At this rate, cheesy eighties songs were writing themselves, but who could blame him when she looked so gorgeous in his passenger seat, her left knee bouncing up and down in a nervous gesture that threatened to upend the pie.
“Hey.” He took his right hand off the steering wheel and brushed his knuckle along the outside of her knee, which turned out to be a big mistake, because Lord God almighty, she was smooth and that kneecap would fit right into his palm. Focus. “Are you nervous because Ingram Meyer is going to be there? Because we’ve got this, Natalie. By the end of the night, he’s going to be so positive that we married for love, he’s going to send us a second wedding gift. Fingers crossed on a chocolate fountain.”
She appeared to be on the verge of rolling her eyes, but cut him a sly look instead. “You know, the one from Williams Sonoma doubles as a fondue pot.”
He smacked the steering wheel. “Are we positive no one bought us one of those?”
“Hallie took our gifts home, and opened and arranged them. Not a single chocolate fountain that doubles as a cheese cauldron, but then again, I wouldn’t put it past Julian’s girlfriend to steal it for herself. She once robbed a cheese shop in broad daylight.” She nodded solemnly at his incredulous eyebrow raise. “How are you so confident we’ll convince Meyer?”
Because if that man can’t see I’d die for you, he’s blind.
“I’m great at dinner parties. Although in Kansas, we call them barbecues.”
Her laughter was kind of dazed. “Dinner with my mother in her formal dining room is far from kicking back with a cold one in someone’s backyard.”
“That bad, huh?” His stomach begged him not to ask the next question, but hell, he did it anyway. “Did you ever bring your ex-fiancé home for dinner?”
“Morrison? No.”
“Fuck yeah.” His fist pump was so involuntary, he almost punched a hole in the roof of the truck. Pull back, tiger. “I mean, I’m glad you didn’t have to go through the whole sticky process of detaching your family from the dude, as well. You know how that goes. You don’t just break up with someone, you break up with their family and friends. Such a mess.”
Natalie stared.
Any second now, she was going to call him on that fist pump and the bullshit that followed. Instead, she asked, “Do you . . . know how that goes? Have you had serious girlfriends?”
Somehow, August got the sense that this was a dangerous topic. “My father used to say that women ask questions they don’t really want answered, and it’s our job to figure out which ones are safe and which ones aren’t. And we will always be wrong.”
Natalie scoffed at that, readjusting the pie on her lap. “What are you implying? That I don’t really want to know about your past girlfriends?”
“I can relate, princess. I want to hear about this Morrison prick about as much as I want a staple gun pointed at my nuts.”
“You asked.”
“I live with a woman now. Maybe she’s rubbing off on me.”
“Whatever. Just answer the question.” She chuckled.
Oh no. That chuckle was deceiving.
Trust your gut, son.
Or was it his dick? Because his dick said to tell Natalie anything she wanted to know. Give her anything she wants without delay.
“Yeah, I had a serious girlfriend,” he said slowly. Cautiously. “One. In high school. She lived next door. Matter of fact, I think she’s still in the house beside my mom and dad.”
“What was she like?”
O-kay. Natalie was still smiling. This seemed fine. “Carol? She’s a sweet, down-home Kansas girl. Her pickles won a blue ribbon at the state fair.”
“Oh.” The smile looked a tad forced now. “Wow. She sounds like my total opposite.”
Hold up. Things were getting dicey.
“Why did you break up?”
“Natalie, are you sure that pie isn’t too hot on your lap? I can—”
“I mean, if she’s so sweet, what happened?”
“Did I say sweet?” That was just what his mother always called Carol. A sweet, down-home Kansas girl. It must have stuck. “Well. She wanted to settle down and get started on a family right away, and I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted to serve.” He recited these truths very slowly. “So she gave me back my class ring and now she’s married to the church pastor. Last time my mother updated me, they have four kids.”
“Oh.” Natalie slumped back in her seat. “And you’re happy for her?”
“Of course I am. Why?”
“It sounded like she was the one who got away.”
“No, that was my next girlfriend.” He winked at her. “Just kidding, princess.”
“You know, I’m holding a pie,” she said calmly. A few beats passed and he started to sense he wasn’t in the clear yet from the dangerous nature of this conversation. “But speaking of pie, I’m just . . . curious. You’re very good at . . . you know. Indulging in a little pie yourself. So when did all this practice occur—”
He was already shaking his head. “Natalie.”
“I’m just saying, it couldn’t have been with the pastor’s pickle-making wife.”
“This conversation ends now. I only have eyes for your pie.”
“Just tell me,” she cajoled.
“No.”
“We’re both adults!”
“Oh my God, I . . . yeah, okay. Fine. I lost my virginity when I was twenty-two. Kind of late and thirteen years ago, Natalie. The girl was a friend of a friend’s girlfriend and I can’t even remember her name, but she . . . she looked at it and said, You better learn how to make a woman stupid before you even think of bringing that thing into the mix. She showed me a few tricks and I listened. Okay? And that is the end of this conversation.”
“Are you sure you don’t remember her name?” She had the nerve to sound disappointed. “I was hoping to send her a Christmas card.”
“Very funny.” His face was on fire. “I can’t believe I told you that.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re my wife. You’re supposed to believe I’ve existed only for you since day one.” In his self-directed irritation, he’d become a loose cannon and could no longer keep himself from erupting. Maybe he was worried that his confession had put doubts in Natalie’s head or maybe he was just tired of keeping the truth to himself. But for whatever reason, he chose the moment they pulled up outside of the Vos estate to spill his guts. “And when I look at you, I swear I have. Existed just for you all this time. It feels like I have.”
She was utterly beautiful and vulnerable in that moment.
Also pale and full of terror.
Awesome.
“Are you just . . . are you method acting because we’re getting ready to fake it in front of Ingram Meyer, or—”
“Nope. I meant what I said.” It was an understatement. A massive one. But her visible fear told him to rein it in. “I have feelings for you, Natalie.”
She opened her mouth, then closed it. Glanced over his shoulder, where he could hear the front door of the house opening. Footsteps approaching. “Can we talk about this later?”
* * *
I have feelings for you.
Natalie walked into her childhood home trying desperately not to fumble the pie. Her fake husband had just admitted to having feelings for her. What kind of feelings? They didn’t get that far. Did he mean lust? Did he mean he cared about her? Because she’d already sort of sensed both of those things, but they weren’t supposed to speak about it out loud. That made it real. That made it something they would have to deal with.
“Do you want me to carry the pie?” August asked, resting his fingertips against the small of her back. Goose bumps sprung to life on the nape of her neck as a result, her eyelashes fluttering, thanks in part to the conversation they’d been having leading up to his confession. She’d gone from jealous to turned on faster than an upside-down roller coaster loop. Perhaps she was in the minority, but a man who listened to a woman’s advice on sex, going from pupil to master? That was unforgivably hot, no matter which way she sliced it.
Still, she wasn’t supposed to get tummy flutters over phrases like I only have eyes for your pie. Yet here she stood. Fluttering and flushed and trying to come to terms with this huge presence in her life now having feelings for her on top of everything else.
Maybe even her own feelings for him. Big, daunting ones.
“No, it’s okay,” she whispered. “I’ve got it.”
“Do you want me to carry you and the pie? Those heels look uncomfortable.”
Briefly, she glanced down. “I used to wear shoes like this every day of the week.” She used the pie to gesture at the dining room ahead, where voices could be heard, including one belonging to Ingram Meyer. “The heels make me feel more confident. I . . . need some confidence at family dinners.”
August searched her eyes, nodded—and Natalie was flooded with the strangest sense that he’d seen exactly what was going on upstairs in her noggin. “I got you, princess.”
She blinked up at him. “You’ve got me?”
“What did I say in my wedding vows? I will take your side in every argument, unless it’s with me. Were you listening or just standing there looking like a goddess?”
She was blinking very fast now. “I was listening.”
“Good.” He leaned down and nudged her forehead with his own. “I got you.”
It took Natalie a moment to realize they’d walked into the dining room together, but the extended silence finally registered. They hadn’t immediately taken their eyes off each other and now everyone—Corinne, Julian, Hallie, and Ingram—was observing them curiously. It was a slow, reluctant peeling of gazes and she felt almost delirious over being that close to his mouth without getting kissed. She watched as August finally focused on Corinne, who stood stoic at the head of the table, offering her a grin. “Hey, Ma.”
Natalie caught the ghost of a smile before Corinne rolled her eyes. “Come in. Dinner is almost ready. We’re having lamb.” She extended a hand toward the man sitting to her left, who for once didn’t have a straw hat perched on top of his head. “I’m sure you’ll remember Mr. Meyer from the wedding.”
The loan officer gave a lazy salute with his wineglass. “Lovely to see you again.”
“Likewise,” she and August said at the same time.
Corinne pointed at the pie in Natalie’s hands. “Who made that?”
“August,” Natalie said. “Obviously. Or I’d be carrying its remains in a ziplock bag.”
She only vaguely noticed August frowning down at her. Why? It was no secret she couldn’t make food to save her life. By refraining to do so, she saved everyone else’s. And hadn’t he made fun of her about her lack of kitchen skills as recently as yesterday?
Corinne remained standing until August and Natalie took side by side spots at the table, then everyone was seated.
“So,” Hallie half squealed, leaning forward. “What have you been doing together since the wedding?” Corinne coughed and Julian smiled into a sip of wine, and immediately, the curly-haired blonde jogged back the question. “I-I mean, besides . . . besides getting to know each other better a-as husband and wife . . .” She winced, obviously realizing she’d only dug the hole deeper. “I mean—”
“Well. I’ve been working on my fermentation technique,” August slipped in smoothly. “When Natalie isn’t working on her laptop, she’s been exploring the grounds. Settling in.”
That wasn’t the greatest start toward convincing the loan officer of their undying love, and August seemed to realize it right away. He reached for her hand under the table, where no one could see, and squeezed it, appearing trapped in his thoughts.
Meanwhile, Ingram Meyer swirled the ruby-red contents of his glass. “Natalie is technically an employee now at Zelnick Cellar, is she not? With her vast array of winemaking knowledge, she must be a huge help to you.”
There was a wrenching sensation below Natalie’s collarbone and she reached for her water. A huge help? Not likely. He wouldn’t even let her in the door. August watched her sip water with a deep groove between his brows, then visibly shook himself into answering. “She . . . yes, she’s got a lot of knowledge to offer. I’m very lucky.”
“I’m sure she’s going to be more of a help on the administrative end of things,” Corinne tacked on without missing a beat. Two women hustled out from the kitchen and started forking salad onto one of the smaller plates in each setting. Corinne said something to one of them, then redirected her attention to Ingram. “My daughter has a head for numbers, and I’m sure that will be a major advantage for Zelnick Cellar. As far as the production side, her company title will likely run along the lines of official taste tester.”
Natalie had just forked up a bite of salad, but paused while everyone chuckled at Corinne’s jest, though she noticed that August didn’t laugh. At all. “It’s true. I know how to stay in my lane. Especially if it’s the checkout lane at the wine store.” More laughs. But none from August. “Zelnick Cellar might give Vos some stiff competition in a few years.”
Corinne raised an eyebrow at August. “Wouldn’t that be something?”
“It sure would,” Ingram agreed. “I’m sure a small business loan would go a long way toward making that future a reality.”
Corinne gave Natalie a meaningful look.
“Yes,” Natalie said to Ingram. “It would.” When August said nothing, she squeezed his hand under the table, and he nodded once without meeting her eyes. What was going on with him? He knew this dinner was important. Well, if he wasn’t going to make it count, she would show up for the both of them. “It’s not so far-fetched, actually. I’ve never seen anyone so dedicated to teaching himself the art of winemaking with so few tools at his disposal. August came to St. Helena with a dream and a serious work ethic, while so many just show up with millions of Silicon Valley dollars and state-of-the-art equipment, and they never truly understand the finer transformations that take place within the grape. But August continues to try and fail and try again—and eventually he’s going to get it. I know he is. And when he does, it’s going to be amazing, because he’s doing it by hand. By the sweat of his brow. It’s going to mean something more than money.”
She’d gotten so lost in her speech, she didn’t realize Ingram had lowered his glass to the table and was regarding her seriously. Minus the smirk for once. “We should all be so lucky to have someone believe in us the way you believe in your husband, Ms. Vos.”
“Mrs. Cates,” she corrected with a flustered smile. And there was no way not to be flustered when August was using his grip on her hand to pull her closer, all but physically dragging her into his lap. “Stop it,” she whispered.
“No.” His voice had thickened. “People sit on other people’s laps at barbecues.”
“I told you, this isn’t a barbecue,” she whispered back, laughter in her voice. “Barbecues don’t have salad plates.”
“I don’t acknowledge salads. I see nothing.”
Outright giggling now, Natalie slapped at his tugging hand and August finally settled for having their chairs pressed together, their outer thighs flush. Finished with their impromptu play fight, they tore their eyes off each other and found the room riveted.
“Anyway,” Natalie said seriously, with a quick smooth of her hair, “I foresee great things.”
“So do I,” August agreed, looking down at her.
But she had a feeling they weren’t talking about the same thing at all and the possibility made her heart hammer. Made it hard to look at him directly. He was so much.
Corinne finally broke into the extended silence they’d left in their wake. “So, Ingram. Julian and I have been looking into the value of aerial crop monitoring. Of course, I’m not sure this is the season for it. We’re in a rebuilding year after all.”
Julian sighed and set down his wine. “Yes, we’re in a rebuilding year, but that’s even more of a reason to make use of the technology . . .”
Natalie perked up. Ever since Julian had brought up VineWatch, she’d been examining their company history and playing with numbers and statistics. To be honest, she’d been doing this research while she should have been working on strategy for her upcoming client meeting. The one taking place in New York on Friday—four days from now. She couldn’t help but be fascinated, though.
“Natalie,” August said suddenly, “aren’t they talking about the company you’ve been stalking on your laptop for the last few days?”
Everyone’s attention swung toward Natalie.
He’d . . . noticed what she was doing on her laptop?
“Uh . . .” Beneath the table, August placed his hand on her thigh and the warmth was somehow exactly what she needed. “Yes. I did look into VineWatch.”
“And what are your thoughts?” Julian asked, openly curious.
“Natalie isn’t really up to speed on what’s happening here at Vos,” Corinne remarked. “The technology might be cutting-edge and right for some of the more thriving wineries, but we’re not ready for it quite yet.”
“With all due respect, Mother, by the time you’re ready, you’ll have to play catch-up,” Natalie said, shocking herself. She started to wave off her own statement, but August squeezed her leg beneath the table again, nodding at her once. Slowly, she set down her fork and wet her lips. “VineWatch offers a way to reduce the winery’s environmental impact by conserving water and allocating fertilizer in a manner that helps eliminate significant waste. It detects diseases that could potentially spread throughout the region and affect other wineries.” She paused, a little surprised to still have everyone’s attention. “I think it’s great that Vos is rebuilding, but it needs to rebuild correctly and that includes embracing new science. Responsible science. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t simply be considering them as a service provider, I would be looking to invest, because someday very soon, this kind of technology is going to be a requirement for winemakers, not a fun side option.” She straightened her water glass. “I’ve been in contact with their chief operations officer. As it happens, they are bringing on an investor already. A competitor of yours. The tax breaks alone being afforded to green companies will make their investment worthwhile times ten—and they will be called visionaries while everyone else piles on after the fact.”
Natalie sipped her water.
No one said anything for several moments.
She glanced up at August to find him looking . . . awestruck? Corinne’s jaw was hanging open halfway to her salad plate and unless she was hallucinating, Julian wasn’t bothering to hide his pride. Hallie was gleefully topping up everyone’s wineglass.
It was the first time she didn’t feel like a child in her childhood home.
“Well.” Her husband slapped a hand on the table. “Now that we’re all satisfied that my wife is freaking brilliant, it’s time to break out the baby photos, if you don’t mind.”
* * *
There were not enough baby pictures.
One measly album? A thin one at that?
August was outraged.
Where were the bad haircuts and Little League photos? His mother would have had Natalie on her couch in the den for a week methodically going through each year of his life on film, and Natalie deserved that same consideration. To Corinne’s credit, the lack of photographic evidence of what must have been a beautifully impish daughter seemed to give her pause.
“There has to be more,” said his mother-in-law, attempting to refill Ingram’s wine for the third time since dinner ended. To put it bluntly, the guy was soused. They’d won him over before the main course and he’d let his guard down, but the closer they got to the end of the evening, the more August’s guard went in the opposite direction.
When Ingram refused the refill and stood up, slapping the straw hat back on his head, everyone stood with him. Everyone but August.
“Tonight was a pleasure, as always,” he said, shaking Julian’s hand. Kissing Corinne’s. “The only thing that could have made it better was Dalton’s presence. St. Helena surely misses that man. I hold out hope that we’ll lure him back from Italy sooner or later.”
Corinne maintained her smile at the mention of her ex-husband. Meanwhile, Natalie sent August an eye roll, and he loved that. He loved that they were sitting beside each other on the couch, his arm around her shoulders, and now she was gifting him little nuggets of exasperation. Still, his dread remained and a moment later, he knew why.
“I’m quite satisfied that this is a strong match between two upstanding young people. I only wish Dalton were here to see it for himself,” Ingram said, tipping his hat. “I’ll file the necessary paperwork in the morning to release Natalie’s trust fund.”
August expected Natalie to thank him. To stand up and cheer. Something.
Instead, her chest seemed to be cranking up and down. “And . . . a meeting with August to speak about the small business loan? Could that be arranged, as well?”
“Yes, of course,” Ingram replied, having no idea that August didn’t require a loan any longer. No, the investment from his CO had arrived in full that very morning, hadn’t it? “Though my calendar is jam-packed this week. I’ll take a look at my schedule when I arrive at the bank tomorrow morning.”
Finally, Natalie exhaled. “Thank you.”
August’s throat was on goddamn fire. Their plan had worked. Natalie was going to get her money. That was what he wanted. But it put her one step closer to no longer needing him.
When Natalie blinked up at him and said his name softly, August realized he was staring into space, imagining the desolate world he’d be living in when she left. She’d get her trust fund and forget his name within a year or two, while he was still hung up on the real one who got away.
Unless.
Unless he could find a way to convince her they were great together before Friday. Before she left for New York. Because once she had that investor in her pocket, it would be over.
Not ready to admit defeat in any way, shape, or form, he drew Natalie onto his lap, dropped his chin onto her head, and flipped back to the start of the baby picture album.
“Again.”
Chapter Nineteen
It was a startling contrast, the way August could let her get close in some ways, but he continued to doggedly fend her off in others. Last night at her mother’s house, they’d been each other’s one-person hype squads. They’d comforted each other with touches and . . . God, at some point it started to feel like she was actually introducing her husband into the family. She’d forgotten about their arrangement right up until Ingram stood to leave for the night.
She’d wanted to forget again on the ride home, but the silence was too deafening.
Was he waiting for her to announce her returned feelings?
Was he waiting for her to announce she wanted him as her real husband?
Reading August was next to impossible this morning, when he was working in the barn with the door closed, a clear sign to stay out. She wasn’t welcome there. And it was too much of a reminder of how she’d been raised. Allowed to participate only when it was convenient for everyone else and there was no chance she’d screw up.
Maybe she would screw up his operation, even worse than it already was.
After all, she’d flamed out brilliantly in New York.
If he were hurting her intentionally, maybe she could find the heart to be mad at him.
But really, he was just a stubborn, determined man who saw only the goal, not sparing any thoughts about who he climbed over to reach it. And instead of being mad at him, she missed him. Missed sitting shoulder to thigh with him like she’d done last night. Missed the sound of his big, obnoxious laugh—and it had been only one day.
Whether she’d hurt him by protecting herself and not vocalizing her feelings or he was shutting her out, she still wanted to hear that laugh. She wanted this time with him and she wanted to experience it to the fullest because it . . . made her feel a way she couldn’t admit yet. Not without questioning her vision for the future.
Natalie’s attention drifted away from her laptop and around the kitchen, landing on a package of cookies above the stove. Should she make August some food? Heaven only knew the last thing he’d expect was for her to bring him a snack.
An idea struck. A perfect way to hear his laugh again.
She closed her laptop and made sure the door was locked, then she spent the next forty-five minutes setting her plans in motion.
At one time, she’d been known in this town as the prank queen. But it had been a while since she’d played a prank. Funny how the series of pranks excited her more than the chance to guarantee a billion dollars in financing, but that was a problem for another day. For now, she desperately needed to lighten the tension between her and August. And in the process, she’d get him back for making her dance to “Brick House” at their wedding.
Close to an hour later, Natalie plated the cookies she’d been working on, schooled her features, and walked out to the barn. She stopped just inside the door and watched August pulverize the grapes like they’d stolen his bike. Shaking her head, she picked up the cookie on the right edge of the plate and nibbled on it, bumping her hip against the creaky barn door to draw his notice.
When he turned, Natalie was caught off guard to find him looking a little haggard. She considered calling off the whole plan she’d hatched, especially when he saw her and brightened, that weariness vanishing without a trace. Like maybe he’d been out here feeling just as unbalanced as she’d been at the kitchen table.
“Hey,” he said, taking a rag out of his back pocket and mopping his brow. An eager step forward. “You found my Oreo stash.”
“Mmmm.” She took a proper bite out of the one in her hand. “I’m not sharing. I just brought these out here to taunt you.”
At her customary barb, she saw relief landslide down his entire body and it made her stomach hurt. She was right. He’d been out here feeling just as terrible.
“You brought me out a snack, princess. That counts as cooking.”
She rolled her eyes. “No, it doesn’t.”
“Anything you put on a plate is a culinary creation.”
“Stop trying to walk back your bad cook insults. It’s not working.”
“You’re smiling. It’s working.” He came closer and snatched one of the Oreos off the plate. “How about this? In our household, if it’s on a plate, it’s considered an entrée.”
Trying not to look too smug, Natalie sighed. “If you insist.”
“I do.” He sank his straight white teeth into the Oreo and chewed. “Hey, that’s my second ‘I do’ in less than a week—” He froze. Chewed a little more. Then doubled over and spat the chewed-up glop onto the ground. “Christ, what did you do? Replace the frosting with toothpaste?”
“The old Colgate switcheroo,” she confirmed over his dry heaving. “Too easy.”
“Tell that to my esophagus,” he choked.
A laugh blew out of her.
August looked up and smiled, his teeth caked in cookie, turning her laugh into a full-body guffaw. “You realize you’ve incited a war,” he said.
“Yes, sir. The only war in which I can—and will—beat a Navy SEAL.”
He threw back his head and let out a punctuated ha. “Not in your wildest dreams.”
She checked her manicure. “I hope you have good medical.”
“You are toast, Natalie. Pumpernickel. Rye. Sourdough. Toast.”
They were standing at the entrance of the barn, grinning at each other like dummies. Natalie didn’t want to acknowledge how much steadier she felt already. So she wouldn’t. Nor would she acknowledge the fact that she wouldn’t always have the option of going out to the barn and antagonizing him until they got to the other side of whatever was bothering them.
For now, though . . . thank God she did.
Because the thought of being anywhere else made her shudder.
She’d have to get over it. Another day.
Natalie turned and speed walked toward the house, feeling almost buzzed from the giddiness. She couldn’t seem to stop giggling under her breath, the lightness in her chest almost sweeping her up off the ground. Must be the prank. Had to be the prank.
“You know, in my high school yearbook, I was voted Most Likely to Replace Your Hand Sanitizer with Glue.”
August’s laughter boomed across the front yard. “Oh yeah? Well in my high school yearbook, I was voted—”
“Class Clown. Fart Champion. Guy We’ll Miss the Least.”
“Wrong, princess. Most Likely to Surprise You.” There was a short pause. “I do think that was in reference to the fact that I used to sneak up behind people and fart, but still.”
She had to stop halfway up the stairs to the house, because she was almost blinded by tears of mirth. They were streaming down her face, her sides trembling. This was definitely worth the time she’d taken to lick the frosting out of five Oreos. Especially when August followed her into the house a moment later and turned toward the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower and then it’s on. You’re not getting the best of August Cates.” He traveled halfway down the hallway and stopped. “You didn’t do anything to the shower, did you?”
“What could someone do to a shower?” she asked innocently, sitting back down at her laptop. “I’m going back to work.”
Eyes narrowed into slits, August turned again and, a second later, closed the bathroom door. Natalie bit down hard on her lower lip, listening to him open cabinets and slowly pull back the shower curtain, as if wary of a snake jumping out. She even heard him uncapping the shampoo bottle and taking a big sniff of the contents, which she had to admit was pretty wise.
Just too predictable.
Calmly, she stood up from the table, opened the drawer containing the plastic wrap, tore off a long piece, and attached it across the hallway entrance. She squinted an eye to judge August’s exact height and left the plastic there, waiting. That was when she heard the shower start, the pelting spray interrupted by his large frame.
And the resounding “What the fuck?” that carried though the house, sending the cat skidding from one dark hole to another.
Ready to explode from excitement, Natalie sat down at the table and pretended to type, but kept one eye on the hallway. Sure enough, August burst out of the bathroom a moment later, towel wrapped haphazardly around his hips, blinded by the chicken bouillon cube she’d hidden in the shower nozzle. And just like a dream, he walked straight into the plastic wrap, the film clinging to his slimy features until he tore it off.
“Something wrong, honey?” she asked with mock concern.
“You’re . . .” he sputtered, turning in the direction of her voice while searching the immediate area for something he could use to wipe his face. “You’re a criminal.”
Natalie gasped. “That’s no way to speak to your bride.”
“Fine. You’re a criminal bride. Coming to CBS this fall.”
All right, that deserved a paper towel. When was the last time she’d laughed this hard? Or didn’t feel like the uncertainty of the future was hanging above her head like a hundred-pound sack of fish guts? “Here,” she said a little breathlessly, standing up and handing August the paper towel roll he kept on the counter. “I think you’ve had enough. For now.”
“You, on the other hand . . .” He swiped at his face hastily, cleaning his eyes off enough to pin her with a predatory look. “Haven’t even begun to feel the wrath.”
“Oooh, look at me. I’m shaking.”
“You should be.”
There had to be something terribly wrong with Natalie that she’d never been more attracted to anyone in her life—and he was currently wearing chicken-flavored slime and his mouth probably tasted like mint hell. Yet if he kissed her in that moment, she would have been moaning for him to take her to chicken town in a heartbeat.
Gulping through the humiliation of that, she swiped the screwdriver off the counter where she’d left it, handing it over. “For the showerhead.” She shrugged. “I don’t think they make a tool big enough to fix your pride.”
He shook his head slowly. She expected a hot take to come out of his mouth. Instead, she got “Sam would have adored you.” His gaze carried over her face, as if memorizing her features. “That’s not a prank.”
“Thanks. Thank you,” she sputtered, because she couldn’t think of anything else. Or process thoughts into words when an erosion was taking place inside her.
Looking sort of at a loss himself, August turned on a heel and creaked back toward the bathroom. “Sleep with one eye open, princess,” he shouted before closing the door.
She caught his smile right before it closed.
* * *
August was cooking something on the other side of her bedroom door.
It smelled incredible.
She didn’t trust it.
After round one of the Prank War, they’d retreated to their battle stations. He’d gone back outside and flipped his tire for a while before occupying the kitchen with so much presence that she’d fled like a coward to stop herself from doing something stupid like sliding between that thick, badass body and the counter, leaving the rest up to fate.
It was getting darker outside and there seemed to be some correlation between the sunset and her libido. The damn thing had a personality now and it wanted to know why it hadn’t been pampered since their wedding night. She definitely hadn’t exfoliated and lotioned herself to death hoping something might accidentally happen again. Of course not.
They were in the midst of a war!
What was his first move going to be?
She didn’t know his prank style yet. What if he shaved off one of her eyebrows? That was exactly the kind of nonsubtle action her husband would take. Had she gotten herself in too deep? Why was exhilaration spinning in her tummy like a Ferris wheel? Who got this much enjoyment out of a fake husband? Was she doing it wrong?
Obviously, yes.
A ping on her laptop signaled an incoming email. She was on the verge of assuming it was an advertisement when she noticed Claudia’s name. Why was her business partner emailing her so late? With no subject line?
Frowning, Natalie opened the email and found a short message: Sorry if I’m the first one to tell you, just didn’t want you to be blindsided this week. Below that cryptic statement was a link to a New York Times article.
No, an engagement announcement.
For Morrison and his new girlfriend.
Her whole body beat once, a tingle at the crown of her head. Mostly out of shock. After that, she waited for the jealousy to rise up and drag her under.
It never did.
They were like two fictitious characters on the screen, smiling and two dimensional and so far away. What did those two people do for fun? Probably not a prank war. They definitely wouldn’t dance to “Brick House” at their wedding. But she hoped they had their own versions of those activities. She really did. Like, wow. She actually found herself truly hoping they would be happy. How evolved was that?
Thanks for letting me know, Natalie typed back. I’ll send a fruit basket.
She hit send and sat on the edge of the bed for another moment, still a little wary of the total lack of shits she gave over Morrison’s being engaged. What did that mean?
A gruff rendition of “Love Train” being sung in the kitchen drew her attention. She set her laptop on the bedside table and promptly forgot about the news. It was time to face her fate. No more putting it off. Whatever comeuppance was in her future, she would take it like a woman and immediately begin plotting revenge. Would it be sugar replaced with salt in an evening coffee? Or maybe even an old-school whoopee cushion. That smacked of August—
As soon as she opened her bedroom door, a bucket of water turned over and rained down on her head. It was like that famous scene from Flashdance, except she wasn’t wearing a sexy leotard and the absolute soaking wasn’t voluntary. No cinematic value whatsoever.
Standing at the stove and laughing like a psychotic hyena, August snapped a picture with his phone. “Photographic evidence. Bet you wish you’d thought of that.”
Natalie was still rendered speechless by the deluge. Not to mention, the fact that her embarrassment was now immortalized digitally. But when the bucket came loose from the door frame and plunked her square on the head, she thought on her feet, grabbing onto the opportunity for quick revenge with both hands.
“Ouch.” Her hand flew to the spot where the empty bucket had connected and sucked in an unsteady breath, blinking rapidly, as if holding back tears. “Ow, my head. Ouch.”
August went still as a statue, the blood draining from his face. “Oh my God.” He dropped his phone and it bounce-skidded under the table, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?”
She gave a long, brave sniff and looked at her hand, wincing like she’d spotted blood. “I . . . I don’t know. I probably only need a few stitches.”
“Stitches?” August roared, stumbling into the table and upsetting the saltshaker. The poor man looked on the verge of passing out. His hands were shaking as he turned off the stove burners with jerky movements, reached for a dish towel, and stomped toward her, chest heaving up and down. “Come here, princess. Oh fuck, I’m so sorry. The bucket wasn’t supposed to fall.”
“I’m feeling a little faint,” she rasped, pitching to one side and clinging to the doorframe of her bedroom. “Do you think it’s a concussion?”
“No,” he breathed, horrified. White as a sheet. “No, no, no . . .”
Okay. Jig’s up. The man had suffered enough.
Right before he could tug away her hand to examine the nonexistent wound on top of her head, Natalie smiled. “Gotcha, babe.”
It was like watching an air mattress deflate in fast motion. The air just sort of blew out of him and he doubled over, bracing his hands on his knees. “That’s not funny, Natalie,” he wheezed. “I thought I split your head open.”
“You do. But only with migraines.”
He lifted his head, his complexion still lacking in color. “You’re really okay?”
Suddenly her heart weighed four hundred pounds.
And was roughly the size of a watermelon, the whole thing seeming to pry apart her ribs and protrude from her chest. Perhaps she needed an ambulance after all. “Yes, I’m okay. I was just getting you back.”
“Consider me gotten.”
He commenced a breathing exercise—in, in, out, in, in, out—she suspected was designed to calm him. And it was just barely working. Come to think of it, she was having a pretty difficult time breathing, too, her heart galloping like a Derby winner.
I’m falling for my husband.
Hard and fast.
Might even be well past . . . fallen for him territory.
Oh shit.
And he wiggled a little deeper into her heart when he straightened suddenly and crowded her into the doorway, brushing around the wet hair on her head gently, looking down at her from above. “I just need to check for myself,” he said, his warm breath on her forehead. “I don’t see anything. Thank God.” He closed his eyes, pressed their foreheads together. “You scared forty-six years off my life.”
“That’s a very specific number,” she whispered, staring at his mouth.
Did it always look so delicious?
Yes. Always.
“That’s the number of fights we’ve had since we met,” he said, almost to himself, his lips lingering on her forehead. Kissing the center and remaining there for long seconds. “Which, coincidentally, is the number of times I’ve wanted to kick myself afterward. And bad news, I don’t see me learning my lesson anytime soon. I’m a glutton for punishment.” He brushed her hair back from her shoulder. “Yours.”
Her knees wobbled like they might send her splattering to the ground. “I’ll do my best to keep meting it out.”
“Good.”
Natalie wet lips that had become parched, despite the fact that a bucket of water had been overturned on her head. “I better get out of these wet clothes.” She tilted back her head so their mouths could rest on top of each other and just like that, they were struggling to breathe. “Want to help me?”
August swallowed audibly, then took a long inhale and exhale through his nose. “It’s not a question of wanting to. I always fucking want you. Every minute, every hour of the day.” The words weren’t even finished coming out of his mouth when she kissed him, their mutual groans coming from deep within. “But I told you the night we got married. Before we go there, I want to know you’re not going to wake up with regrets. Don’t you dare roll over in my bed tomorrow and act like this was a one-night stand. It’s not.”
“What is it?” she whispered against his mouth, almost terrified of the answer.
Funny, he didn’t look scared at all. Only determined. “We’re going to find out.” The determination flickered a touch and some vulnerability shone through. “Tell me how you feel about me, Natalie.”
Her heartbeat spread to her entire body, pulsing in every limb, every hair follicle. “Oh my God, who just puts somebody on the spot like this?”
“I’m done wondering.” He backed her into the bedroom one slow step at a time. Mouth to mouth. His fingertips traced gently down the sides of her face, her throat. Then they took hold of the neckline of her T-shirt and tore it straight down the middle, making her cry out. “I’m done obsessing about you every waking second and having no idea if you’re obsessing about me, too.”
She stared down at her ripped shirt in shock, eyes shooting back up to meet his increasingly intense ones. “Do you want me to obsess about you?”
“Yes.” With gritted teeth, he unsnapped the front of her bra and tugged it down her arms, throwing it clear to the other side of the room, along with the remains of her shirt. “Maybe you’ve been with men in the past who don’t want to label shit or be tied down. Well, that’s not me. Not when it comes to you. I want you to count the minutes until we’re breathing the same air again, the way I do.”
There was quicksand shifting beneath her feet, preparing to suck her down. “W-we only married for money—”
His mouth stamped down on hers at an angle and she went from protesting the existence of her own feelings to kissing him eagerly, whimpering into the possessive stroke of his tongue. “Go sell that lie somewhere else, princess,” he rasped, pulling her yoga pants and panties down to her knees, dragging his nose upward over her stomach and between her breasts on the way back to looking her straight in the eye. “Now am I just giving you head again? Or are you going to admit how you feel about me so we can fuck like animals?”
Her sex gave a very dramatic, very enthusiastic clench in favor of the latter. But speaking of animals, her heart was still hammering like a jackrabbit. Just admit how she felt? Who did that? Obviously people who had never been on the receiving end of a No thank you, I’ll pass.
Natalie stood poised on the edge of a canyon being asked to walk a tight rope to the other side. But the longer she looked into his seeking eyes, the steadier that rope became until it turned into a full-fledged bridge. “I do it, too,” she whispered in a rush. “I count the minutes until we’re breathing the same air again.”
“Okay.” He wrapped his arms around her, his relieved exhale blowing her hair in several directions. “Damn. Okay. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“That? Was like standing in the woods smeared in honey.”
His chuckle was halting. “Brave girl.” He smoothed his palms down her naked hips, back up the sides of her rib cage, his lips moving on the side of her neck. “My girl.”
In that moment, it was the truth. Her body belonged to him. Her heart lay defenseless.
Just asking to be mauled.
When his strong hands finally closed around her breasts, Natalie’s neck lost power, her head tipping back on a breathy moan. In one swift movement, his ropy forearm wrapped around the small of her back and he knelt on the mattress, dropping her down beneath him. Her yoga pants were around her knees. Never taking his eyes off her, he pulled her pants and underwear down the remaining distance, letting them slap wetly onto the floor. They joined the rag that used to be her shirt as he licked her nipples. Just once each and she was shaking.
“Have I told you lately that your tits are insane?” he murmured into the valley between the two mounds, his thumbs brushing circles around the puckered peaks.
“On our wedding day.”
He lifted his head, grinning. “Took away the nerves, didn’t it?”
Don’t smile back. Don’t—
Too late. She was beaming like a headlight. “It shifted my priorities. From trying not to faint to trying not to sock you in the junk.”
“My junk is deeply grateful.” Eyes twinkling, he winked at her. “And I promise to make you deeply grateful for my junk.”
The laugh snuck out before she could trap it. “You’re such a bozo.”
“I’m your bozo.” The words were half muffled because he closed his wet mouth around her right nipple and suctioned lightly. His tongue provided friction at the same time and God, God, her legs jerked up around his hips, her back arching in a half-moon shape. He used his mouth on her breasts for so long, lapping and biting softly and thumbing her peaks, she almost reminded him they’d agreed on sex. But when she started to grow hot and agitated, she realized—once again—that this man knew exactly what he was doing.
“August.”
His hand slid up and cupped her face, tongue still working, working, working her swollen nipple and now . . . there was some kind of tugging cord between said nipple and her core. It vibrated and hummed, sending reverberations throughout her body. “Hmmm?”
“Can you please.”
“Please?”
“Be inside me now?”
The movements of his tongue were so slow and savoring, she was caught off guard when he lifted his head and she found his pupils taking up nearly his entire irises. “I’m not entering the palace without paying homage to the queen, Natalie,” he said, out of breath.
“What does that mean?”
“It means . . .” He licked up the hollow of her throat, all the way to her mouth, capturing it in a blistering kiss. “I thought I’d blown my chance to have you like this. I’m not sure how I was able to go on living. Still a mystery.” He sank his fingers into her hair, angled her head, and took her mouth in several slanting kisses that scrambled her brain, all while his big, fully dressed body kept her pinned hard to the mattress, his thickness trapped between their bellies like a taunt. “Bottom line, I’m not going in like some eager young puppy. Bad as I want to unzip my jeans and give you hell, princess, if your life doesn’t flash in front of your eyes when I finally get my cock inside you, I don’t deserve to call myself your husband.”
Natalie mentally reeled.
Opened her mouth to disagree that unzipping and giving hell was a negative thing.
But August had already stripped off his shirt—oh, the muscle—and rolled over onto his back. “Come here.” He ran his tongue along his bottom lip, that broad chest beginning to heave faster and faster. “Let me lick it.”
Her brain had gone offline. “I don’t understand.”
August either didn’t hear her or was choosing to ignore her confusion, because his teeth were sinking into that glossy bottom lip now, his palm stroking the ridge in his jeans. “Christ, just thinking about you sitting on my face might finish me.”
“You want me to—”
“I’m not above begging.”
Forget the fact that she’d never done that before. Not from the top position. But she’d experienced the force of nature that was August’s tongue on their wedding night and the memories were not just glorious, they were fresh. He didn’t need to beg. He didn’t even need to ask her twice. She straddled the mile-wide mountain range that was his chest, whimpering when he took two rough handfuls of her backside and dragged her onto his mouth.
Dragged.
Grinding her there. On his stiff tongue.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, she would never again underestimate the effects of nipple stimulation. There was no awkward moment or easing into the act of being pleasured from below. Not when he’d already gotten her this wet, this sensitive. There were only the desperate writhes of her hips, the shallow, hiccupping sounds emanating from her throat, August’s moans, and the wild urgency to climax.
He entered her with his tongue, pushed it as deep as possible—and her womb itself constricted, her thighs going rubbery. “Oh my God. Oh my God.” His middle finger teased her rear entrance, that magical tongue driving in, out, in—and goodbye reality, she was now a resident of the stars. She rode on a rainbow unicorn over the Milky Way and waved at an astronaut. Her body was still in the bedroom, thighs squeezing the sides of August’s head, fingers clutching shakily at the headboard while wave after wave of pleasure rocketed through her lower body, tightening and releasing muscles, brutalizing her in the best way possible.
Even after the orgasm crested and she came back down the other side, she was still trembling, her skin speckled in sweat. She actually had to blink several times to align her vision again and look down into August’s face. And he was so turned on by her reaction to what they’d done, so visibly heated, that somehow, against all odds, her own lust rose back to the surface. Unrecognizable, eager sounds fell from her mouth as she scooted backward down his body and found he’d already lowered his zipper. Taken his shaft in his hand.
“The pill, you said?”
“Pill. Yes.”
“Doctor said I’m good, Natalie.”
“Same.”
“No condom?”
All she could do was shake her head.
“Then sit,” he growled through his teeth.
Speaking of eager young puppies, that’s exactly what she did—taking his thickness all the way home, not stopping until he shouted her name.
Deep, so deep.
Fragments of light exploded behind her eyes, her hips moving of their own volition. In a split second, they were fulfilling his promise of fucking like animals, her sex, never wetter in its life, bringing him inside over and over again, her butt slapping down on the top of his thick, hairy thighs.
“Don’t stop, don’t fucking stop,” he panted, fingertips digging into the meat of her butt cheeks, his lower body slamming upward to meet the breathless bucks of her hips. “If you squeeze up around my tongue that goddamn tight when you come, can’t wait to feel how you grip that dick. You’re going to ride it until I find out.”
“Uh-huh. Yes, August.”
Oh yeah. This was the new her, apparently. Obedient as all get-out.
How else was she supposed to behave when this man had unlocked secrets to her pleasure that she didn’t even know were being held prisoner? He was magic. And his erect penis, God help her, was pure perfection. Normally Natalie would have called it too large. She had called it that at first glance. But the foreplay—the mothereffing foreplay turned that . . . eight? Nine-inch? . . . monster into a jungle gym. And it had a curve in it. She actually had to throw her hips back to accommodate that slight bow and in doing so, her clit rubbed against the solid, so solid base of his sex, turning her into a moaning, sweating mess.
“There’s a lot happening on your beautiful face, but nothing coming out of your mouth.” He sat up suddenly and she whimpered, because every time this man moved, she found a newer, better angle with which to happily torture herself. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he demanded against her mouth. “While you’re fucking me so fucking good, Natalie, say what’s on your mind.”
“I love your dick,” she blurted in a rush, holding on to his shoulders so she could maneuver herself even faster. “I love it.”
His eyes were almost black by now, upper lip curled. “What do you love about it?”
Why was she shaking so violently when she wasn’t even having an orgasm? Did this man give her pre-orgasms? Was that possible or should she donate herself to science? “It’s . . . y-you made me ready for it,” she gasped. “With your mouth.”
“When I sucked your tits?” He spanked her hard and she screamed into his shoulder. “Or when I stuck my tongue in your pussy?”
Actual moisture was beginning to overflow from her eyes, her teeth chattering. So good, so good, so good. “Both!”
“Tell me the truth. You thought I would throw you into missionary, come in sixty seconds, and fall asleep. Didn’t you?”
“Yes. No,” she babbled, rocking furiously in his lap. “I-I don’t know.”
“Not with my wife.” Without warning, he flipped Natalie onto her back and drove her up the bed with one savage pump of his hips. “I’ll be earning the right every single day to come inside pussy this good.”
The orgasm slapped harder this time and she soared, loving it, loving being objectified and fucked and revered all at the same time. It was in the way he leaned down to kiss her, letting her know with that cherishing stroke of his tongue that he would be there to take care of her when it was all over. That he adored her.
She could feel that.
He made her feel it.
Now she wanted to return the favor. “You’ve more than earned it,” she whispered, scraping her fingernails along his scalp. Raked them down his back and his eyes glazed over. Then she contracted the intimate muscles between her legs and watched his control stumble, his jaw flexing, a stuttered version of her name tumbling out of his mouth. “Although . . .”
“Yeah?” he asked hoarsely, hips moving faster. “Yeah, princess?”
She positioned her mouth against his ear, flexed again, and buried her nails into his back. “Do you really need to earn anything when I want your come so bad?”
“FUCK,” he bellowed, gripping onto the headboard with his left hand, yanking up her right knee in his other one. The bed creaked ominously beneath them, faster and faster, while he worked through his finishing thrusts, finally flattening her with a snarl and filling her with liquid heat. She took hold of his ass cheeks and yanked him in tighter, purring in his ear. He cursed, panted, and groaned through a renewed series of pumps, their flesh connecting and smacking, hands straining to touch, to gain purchase. From above, his huge body dominated her smaller one in a way she instinctively knew she would crave for the rest of her life.
Moments later, they were nothing but a tangle of sweaty limbs, their labored breathing slowing in the small room. August’s mouth traveled along the slope of her shoulder, kissing her beneath the ear as his fingers twined themselves with hers. “Holy shit,” he muttered into her hair, sounding completely dumbstruck. “Holy shit.”
“Hmmm.”
“Seriously, I should get a medal for staying hard that long. You . . .” He rolled her closer, nuzzling his mouth into her neck. “I’ve needed you.”
“I’ve needed you, too,” she whispered, a sting creeping in behind her eyes.
He lifted his head to frown down at her. “You sure that falling bucket didn’t hurt you?”
Natalie felt herself plummet deeper into the feelings that had been building for this man and wouldn’t seem to stop, despite their very opposite objectives. Despite the outward reasons they’d married and the different directions they were heading. “I’m sure.”
Her heart gave a heavy thud, so intense that she reached out suddenly for the glass of water on the bedside table, just for something to do with her hands. In the process, she bumped her laptop and the screen brightened. She barely noticed at first. Not until August tapped her bare hip. “Who is that?”
“Who is who?”
August pointed over her shoulder at the New York Times engagement announcement still very much visible on her screen. The glass of water paused halfway to Natalie’s mouth.
Chapter Twenty
Every time things between him and Natalie started to feel right, a snake had to slither through the grass, jump up, and bite him square in the testicles. Swear to God. As soon as her shoulders stiffened, he knew something was up. And he knew he wouldn’t like it.
A significant part of August didn’t want her to confirm the identity of the suited, smiling golden boy in the photograph, because he’d already put it together. Central Park spread in the background gave it away. That fucker with the whitest teeth he’d ever seen was Natalie’s ex-fiancé. They’d just had sex so incredible that he’d heard “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” by the Beatles playing when he came and this was going to ruin it, huh?
“Who is who?” Her question lingered in the air, her eyes zipping to the screen, widening, the glass of water stopping before she could take a sip from it. “Oh.”
“Oh?”
She took a long drink from the glass and set it back down on the bedside table. “That would be my ex, Morrison, and his new fiancée.” Her smile was tight and brief. “I wasn’t internet stalking. Someone sent me the announcement.”
“When?”
Jerky shoulder shrug. “I don’t know, a little while ago.”
It was all coming together now. His stomach pitched first, followed by the scraping out of his chest, leaving it hollow.
No, not totally hollow.
There was a big billow of green smoke wafting in, carrying jealousy on its back. Sticky, grimy, and impossible to escape. “A little while ago, as in, right before you asked me for sex.”
“Asked you for . . .” She opened her mouth and closed it, nose wrinkling up. “I don’t understand where you’re going with this.”
August lunged off the bed to his feet, zipping himself back into his jeans with numb fingers. “You need me to spell it out for you?”
“Apparently I do.” Her voice had grown louder to match his. “Yes.”
Unable to stand the sight of Morrison’s smiling face another second, he crossed to the other side of the bed and closed the lid of the laptop. “You were feeling shitty about your ex getting engaged and I was a convenient ego boost.”
That marked the first time he’d ever rendered Natalie speechless.
And it didn’t feel a tenth as good as he expected it to.
In fact, it felt the opposite of good. It was awful.
She stared up at him for several beats, then seemed to blink back tears while turning her face away. “Get out of my room.”
It took him a moment to find his voice. “Deny it.”
“No, you have it completely right. Everything I said about having feelings for you was a big, elaborate lie so I could get some ego-boosting sex.” She stood up and shoved him toward the door, but he didn’t budge an inch. Couldn’t seem to move at all. “Doesn’t that sound exactly like me?”
Nope.
Nope, it certainly did not.
Now she was covering herself with a pillow. Hiding from him.
Apologize. Right the hell now.
“Tell me this isn’t one of the reasons you’re going back to New York,” he growled instead, because he had obviously lost full control of his faculties. The green smoke growing thicker and thicker inside his chest was manning all battle stations. This finance guy was utterly perfect for August’s wife—who he was fucking in love with, by the way—and the whole time they’d been making love, she’d been sad about the asshat marrying someone else.
She’d just turned him inside out in that bed and the possibility she’d been on a different page was eating him alive.
“I am not required to deny anything to you,” Natalie said, lips barely moving. Uh-oh. Now there was a whole slew of snakes gunning for his balls, fangs out. “Nothing has changed between us. The original agreement still stands. We’re in this for the money and that’s it. Now get out of my room.”
His heart climbed up into his mouth and he swallowed it, the whole aching mass of it getting stuck in his throat. “Once I’m out, it’s going to be really hard to convince you to let me back in.”
“Oh, you have no idea, shithead.”
“I’m jealous, Natalie,” he said hoarsely. “I’m jealous.”
“You know what, August? I don’t care. You don’t get to say whatever you want because you’re feeling a particular way. That doesn’t excuse anything. You have to learn to take the information given to you by your brain and stop your mouth from interpreting it first.”
“Because it hurts your feelings.”
“Yes,” she whispered, then seemed to regret it. “No. Out.”
More than anything, he was angry with himself in that moment. Pissed beyond measure. Frustration built higher and higher, any remaining thread of control slipping from his fingers. He couldn’t do anything right. Couldn’t make Natalie happy for longer than a few measly minutes at a time. Couldn’t do justice to Sam’s dream. Couldn’t interpret brain shit, either, apparently. What good was he doing anyone?
Giving Natalie breathing room was probably the right thing to do, but he couldn’t seem to make himself leave the room. He simply remained there, an inanimate object with his hand on the knob. No, he couldn’t walk away. That’s what they’d both done at the end of every fight, since the beginning, and it had hurt their relationship every time.
He’d lose her unless something changed.
Her feelings were hurt because of him, and he wasn’t just going to abandon her.
August turned around. “What can I do to make this better, Natalie?”
Her chin snapped up. “Besides light yourself on fire?”
“Preferably.”
“I don’t know, August.” She sighed.
“Tell me how you feel right now.” He ventured a cautious step toward the bed. “That seems like a good start.”
“Mad.” For a second, he thought she might leave it at that, but she threw up a hand and let it drop. “A little empty.”
A hoarse sound left him. And it occurred to him that storming away was definitely easier. This was the hard part. Hearing what he’d done wrong and how he’d hurt her. Was that what made a marriage last? Doing the hard shit? “Why empty?”
“Because I was . . .” She glanced down at the messy sheets. “I let myself trust you and you didn’t trust me back. You made me drop my armor and then, I don’t know, it’s like I’m being punished for it.”
Her words dug into him like slivers of glass. Christ, that was worse than he’d imagined. What would he have learned by now if he’d just spoken to her like this after all of their arguments? He’d be wiser than Doctor Strange. “God, I’m sorry.”
“I know.” She laughed without humor. “That’s the thing. I know you’re sorry. I know that so many of your choices aren’t made to hurt me, even though they do.”
So . . . many of his choices?
What else was he doing to hurt her?
He racked his memory bank and came up with nothing. “Natalie, what am I . . .” Out of nowhere, an idea lit up the nether regions of his brain. “I can read you the rest of my wedding vows. Will that make you feel better?”
Was that reluctant interest he sensed? “There was more?”
“Yup. Don’t move.” On a mission now, he jogged through the house, which sent Menace into near hysterics, and barged through the half-open door of his bedroom. Where did he put them? Where?
Bedside table.
August snatched up the yellow, lined piece of paper and ran back out of the room, skidding to a halt a few seconds later at the foot of Natalie’s bed.
He cleared his throat dramatically, but she wasn’t ready to smile yet. Fair enough. He’d be lucky if she simply lost that hollow look in her eyes by the time he finished reading.
Don’t ever hurt her feelings again, you son of a bitch.
“You can call me no matter where you are and I’ll come. That’s where I left off, right?”
She nodded.
Good. He loved knowing she remembered exactly what he’d said at the altar.
“Okay. Natalie Vos, I vow to hug you when you’re sad. Encourage you when you’re down. And take the blame for a fight if it means we don’t go to bed angry.”
“No way.” She snorted. “It doesn’t say that.”
He flipped the paper around and held it out, so she could see he was reciting the vows verbatim. “Read it and weep, princess.”
She glanced at the page, then studied her nails, trying and failing to hide a glimmer of interest. “Anything else?”
“Yeah.” He pressed a knee into the bed. Then another. Walking himself closer to her despite the growing stiffness in her shoulders. “If I ever make you cry, you get to give me a purple nurple. Says it right here in bold print.”
“I’m not crying.”
“You were close,” he said miserably. “I hated it.”
“Don’t come any closer. I’m not purple nurpling you.”
“Those are the vows.”
“You didn’t say them in front of God. They don’t count.”
“I just said them in front of a goddess. They count.” He threw aside the piece of paper and tackled her backward onto the bed in a bear hug that made him feel like crying. If he’d left, if he’d walked away after the fight, he wouldn’t have his arms around her right now and that would forever be the wrong choice. He needed to keep his arms around this woman come hell or high water.
When she sniffed a little, he reached for her hand, bringing it up between them.
Pressing her fingertips to his nipple.
“Make it count.” His wife didn’t need the reminder. She secured two knuckles around his nipple and twisted with nothing short of savagery until he yelped, discomfort shooting through his pec. “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.”
She twisted harder.
“Natalie! SHIT.”
Finally, she let go. And had the nerve to look innocent when he lifted his head to show her his incredulity. “You asked for it,” she said, blinking up at him. Smiling.
He’d made her smile. After a fight.
The bliss of that almost eclipsed his pain. Almost.
“I’m afraid to look down and see if my nipple is still there,” he choked out.
She yawned. “Male nipples don’t really serve a function anyway.”
They laughed and he held her tighter, turning them bodily onto their sides and molding himself around the perfect back of her. “That does it,” he growled into her neck, kissing her soft skin in between each word. “You have to sleep with me tonight. That’s your punishment for trying to kill me.”
“Oh my God.” She elbowed him in the ribs. “I had no idea I married such a big baby.”
“I’m probably bleeding,” he muttered, tucking his knees up behind hers, smiling when she snuggled him back. “We good, babe?” He pressed his lips to the back of her neck. “Please tell me we’re good.”
Little by little, the tension left her muscles until she was completely relaxed in his arms and his heart constricted in response. “We’re good, August.”
He believed her.
But he also believed his dick/gut and it was telling him they were far from out of the woods. New York was still on the horizon. Not to mention the investment from his CO he’d neglected to tell her about. And earlier, hadn’t she said I know that so many of your choices aren’t made to hurt me, even though they do? Whatever she was referring to, his eyes needed to be more open to it now. He’d do better.
Because he wanted to fall asleep holding her forever.
Chapter Twenty-One
A boom of thunder jolted Natalie’s entire body upright in bed, August’s heavy arm dropping from around her shoulders down into the sheets. Within seconds, that muscular limb was curling around her thigh, hoarse, unintelligible murmurs coming from her husband. No doubt about it, the man was beautiful when he slept. A big, cozy brute with obvious morning wood. She’d expect nothing less—
Another roll of thunder seemed to shake the entire house. With a gasp, her gaze flew to the window. The storm sounded like it was coming from their backyard. Her distress must have finally woken August because he sat up beside her in bed, bare chested, his brow chiseled with concern. Instantly on alert.
After a quick glance at the window, he studied her face. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Bad storm,” he said, pushing a set of fingers through his bedhead. “We might be stuck in here all day.” That same hand disappeared beneath the comforter and she knew exactly what he was doing under there. The flex of his forearm muscles gave him away. “Can’t think of a single thing we might do to occupy ourselves. Can you?”
A little over a week ago, she would have taken an immediate jab at him. Claim she was calling the police to request immediate evacuation. Or ask in mock horror if they’d be forced to drink his wine if they ran out of rations. But now, she simply turned wet, already starved for August’s weight on top of her, the friction their warm morning skin would make as he moved. Slow at first. Then hard. Then fast and ferocious.
They would talk after that.
They had to talk.
Either they stopped ending up in bed like this, acting like a real-life married couple or . . .
Or they adjusted their plan from one month to . . . longer?
A goose egg stuck in her throat. Dear Lord, the very idea was scary.
What if she actually tried to make it work with this man who she had deep, messy feelings for? What if they remained married permanently? It would require a lot of shifting. Her expectations and aspirations and . . . well, everything. She’d have to reimburse Claudia for all of her time and hard work, make sure her friend wasn’t left hanging. She’d have to find . . . a purpose here. The financial sector didn’t operate out of Napa. Wine was her only option and so far, August had only thrown up roadblocks to prevent her from helping.
He hadn’t yet carved out a place for her in his daily life. Starting each morning, he’d shut her out while he worked, instead of accepting her help. Letting her in.
Perhaps his rejection was unconscious, but he did it nonetheless. Explaining her reservations to August would only force him to make changes too soon and she couldn’t fast-forward his grief process. But could she gamble her entire future on him letting her in eventually? What if he didn’t and she signed up for another life like the one in which she’d been raised? Always being kept on the periphery of the Vos family, never let into the inner circle.
August leaned over, skating his mouth over hers. Urging her down into the sheets and coming down on top of her, licking into a moaning kiss that shot bullet holes through her worries. “Woke up starved for that thing between your legs.” He groaned into her neck. “Not sure if you’re still a little pissed from last night, so I’m asking very nicely if I can eat it.”
She really should give him another purple nurple for referring to her vagina as that thing. Unfortunately, she liked all the words coming from his mouth and wanted more. Immediately. “Yes,” she murmured, letting her knees fall open while his mouth trailed eagerly downward—
Natalie’s phone rang on her bedside table.
“No,” August wailed. Directly against her sex. “Please God, no.”
There was no way to trap the giggle. Any other time, she would have ignored the call, but she happened to glance over and see Julian’s name on the screen. Her brother wouldn’t pick up a phone unless there was a good reason. She had to answer.
“Sorry, it’s my brother,” she said, pushing her fingers through her husband’s hair. When August admitted defeat and rolled over, misery etched in every line of his face, she finally picked up her phone and hit talk. “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me,” came her brother’s voice from the other end.
“Julian, hey—”
“Are you watching the news?”
“What?” she pulled away from the phone momentarily to check the time. Nine A.M. “No, I just woke up. Is something happening?”
“Yes. Is August there? He’s not answering his phone.”
Natalie frowned, a weird sort of clinch happening in her middle. “He’s here. I’ll put you on speaker.” She tapped the screen. “Okay, you’ve got both of us.”
“There’s been a flash flood in St. Helena,” said Julian, without preamble. Brisk, as usual, but slightly choppy. “There’s helicopter footage on the news. A whole road turned into a river and there’s a minivan stuck in the middle of it.” He paused. “Kids and a mom.”
“Oh my God,” Natalie breathed, tossing aside the sheets, her feet finding the cold floor.
“Search and rescue are dealing with similar situations all over the region. They’re bringing in reserves from other counties, but the roads are causing delays. The police are at the scene, but their first attempt to reach the van wasn’t successful—”
August pulled up his pants and disappeared from the bedroom.
Just boom. Gone.
His feet pounded across the floorboards of the kitchen. The creak of a door opening and closing in the hallway, a distinct click she recognized as the linen closet. Was he taking a shower? Or was that wishful thinking? Because she had the sudden fear that her fake-for-now husband was heading straight to a flash flood.
“He’s . . . I don’t know what he’s doing. Hold on.” With Julian still on speakerphone, Natalie jogged from the bedroom with her stupid heart lodged in her throat. “August?”
She found him in the hallway. But this man was a stranger.
Gone was his golden retriever, tongue lolling out, lazy beers at the lake kind of demeanor. He’d been replaced with a soldier. His expression was hard, focused, the movements of his hands precise and efficient. And from somewhere in the linen closet she’d opened multiple times, he’d unearthed a gigantic backpack. He checked the contents now, nodded, threw it on his back, and strode for the door.
“You’re going?” Natalie moved like a ghost in his wake. “You’re going.”
“I’m going,” August said without stopping.
“He’s going,” Julian echoed, sounding relieved.
Relieved? Natalie felt like someone had shoved a stick of dynamite into her chest. Her feet were barely functioning, but she ran after August, anyway, barefoot in a nightshirt. Outside. Within seconds, she was soaked to the skin. So was August, though he seemed almost at home in the rain, cutting through it like some kind of deadly assassin in sweatpants and no shirt.
He was going to help the family stuck in the flash flood.
Just like that.
Her heart was torn in two directions. Obviously, she wanted those children and their mother to be rescued, but she’d seen what nature was capable of four years ago during the fire. Floods were dangerous. He was one man—not a team of SEALs.
Was he going to be all right?
Natalie hung up on Julian, blood pounding in her temples. She watched August climb into the driver’s seat of his truck and didn’t even hesitate before springing to the passenger side and throwing herself into the vehicle.
“Out,” he barked, pointing at the house, intimidating her for the first time ever in their entire acquaintance. But not enough to send her out of the truck to watch him drive off into the storm from hell.
“No. I’m coming. I can’t just sit here w-wondering if you’re okay.” Warm, salty moisture splashed down her cheeks, like a cartoon version of crying, and she batted the tears away with shaky fingers. “Don’t make me do that. Please.”
“Natalie . . .” He shook his head, rested two fists on the steering wheel. “If it comes down to rescuing you or literally anyone else in this fucking world, it’s going to be you. I’ll be focused on you. I won’t be able to think about anything else.”
“I will be fine. I will make sure I’m fine.” She put on her seat belt with difficulty, because her fingers were going numb. “We’re wasting time.”
A beat passed.
With a curse, he gunned the truck in reverse and shot down the tree-lined driveway while her heart pumped in time with the windshield wipers.
* * *
It was so much worse than she’d imagined, and she’d been picturing the apocalypse. No fewer than two dozen emergency personnel vehicles were parked at haphazard angles along the road leading to the flooded street. A helicopter circled overhead. The occupants of news vans were fighting with police officers to gain entry to the cordoned-off scene. And all the while, the deluge continued to pour, thunder and lightning arguing with each other in a way that suggested they were in the thick of this storm.
August screeched the truck to a halt at the police barrier, the window already rolled halfway down. “Petty Officer Cates, formerly of SEAL team five. I can help.”
They waved him through and he hit the gas.
“H-how exactly are you going to help? Do you have a plan?”
“Nope.”
“Fuck oh fuck oh fuck.”
“I’m trained in swift water rescue, but I need to assess the situation up close from the ground level. See what kind of landscape and manpower I’m working with. And then I’ll have a plan.” He hit the brakes and threw the truck into park. “Your plan, Natalie, is to stay in this truck or so help me God, it will be the worst fight we’ve ever had,” he ended on a shout.
“I’m not scared of a fight,” she shouted back. “I’m scared you’ll get hurt.”
August took a long look at her face, seeming to register her terror for the first time. How polite of him. And he momentarily softened, cupping the side of her face. “I’m adding it to my wedding vows. I won’t get hurt. It’s written in stone now, just like the rest of them.” He kissed her hard and took one last look at her face. “My God, I am fucking crazy about you.”
With that, he shot from the truck with the backpack over one shoulder, leaving her reeling, her heart bleeding profusely. But instinct kicked in a second later and Natalie moved into the warm spot left behind by his body, watching him through the windshield, the scrape of the wiper blades suddenly becoming the soundtrack to a horror film. He shouted at a group of huddled men, joined them. After a brief exchange, they moved as one big unit toward the top of the road—and that’s when their location finally registered.
She’d taken this shortcut a million times throughout her life. When town was jam-packed with tourist traffic, this road was a way to avoid it. Elevation wise, she supposed it was much lower than the surrounding area, but that fact had never seemed important until now.
Up ahead, August disappeared around a bend in the road with the huddle of rescue workers and without her husband in view, everything inside her screamed to throw herself out of the truck and sprint after him. But she would not distract him in a dangerous scenario like this. Absolutely not. If he made a mistake and got hurt or killed because of her, she would never forgive herself. She was staying in the damn truck.
But there was no one around to stop the truck from creeping forward a little.
Just so she could keep tabs on any developments.
August had left the motor running, so she put the truck into drive and inched slowly around the police vehicles and their flashing lights, stopping when the very top of the rushing water came into view below.
And her blood ran cold.
The van was halfway submerged in turbulent water.
Teri Frasier, Zelnick Cellar’s one and only customer, and her triplets were holding on to one another for dear life on the roof of the van.
For the first time, she noticed a man on the scene with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, wearing what looked to be a sodden suit. His hysterical tone reached through the rain and windshield and though the voice was muffled, Natalie somehow knew it was Teri’s husband. Helpless, watching the water slowly rise around his family.
“Oh no. Oh no.” A chill rent through Natalie, making her shiver even harder than before. Her rickety breaths were causing the windshield to fog up so she turned on the defroster, retreating into the seat and pulling up her knees to her chest. “Please, please, please, August. Get them. Get them and be okay. Please.”
A few minutes later, a yellow raft approached from upstream and there was August, steering it, two officers behind him. They’d put August in a helmet, but the life vest was obviously too small for his king-sized body, so it just hung on him loosely, flapping open in the wind. He shouted something at Teri, smiled, and she nodded.
“I love you,” Natalie whispered. “I love you. Come on. Please.”
The timing was barbaric. Why did she have to realize she loved the big lug right before he was about to do something life threatening? It couldn’t have happened while he was cooking eggs or trying to reason with the cat? Natalie was never more positive that she hadn’t loved Morrison, because this big, wild, terrifying feeling had happened only once in her life.
Right now. For August.
She understood now. Love turned the heart into a liability. If something happened to him, she’d never get the damn thing to beat properly again. It seemed to be beating for him now.
Time seemed to freeze when August reached the side of the submerged road. From his backpack, he pulled out what looked like . . . a grappling hook? He raised it high and buried it in the dirt and rock formation that ran along the road, twisting and screwing it into the earth. One of the officers leapt out of the raft onto the rocks and worked to secure it further, wrapping the attached cable around his forearm several times. August threw the excess cable to the other side of the road, where a waiting officer caught it, securing a latch to the front of his vehicle.
As soon as the man turned and gave August a thumbs-up, he jumped into the raging current of water and Natalie almost puked.
It carried him several feet toward the submerged van and she started to cry, the heels of her hands digging into the hollows of her cheeks. Hard enough to hurt. But her breath caught as August stopped suddenly and Natalie realized he’d hooked himself to the center of the cable that ran perpendicular to the road.
“Okay,” she breathed, shaking uncontrollably. “Is that okay? Is that good?”
No one was there to hear her nonsensical questions. Or hear her chant her husband’s name over and over again, her fingernails digging into her knees, the seat. The fact that the truck smelled so heavily of grapefruit wasn’t helping. Or was it the only thing helping? She didn’t know. She could only hold her breath as August moved toward the minivan, instructing Teri and the three children to climb onto the hood of the van, which was partially beneath water.
The woman hesitated, visibly nervous to step into the water at all, but whatever August said seemed to reassure her and finally, she stepped in, handing the first of the three children to him. He took off his life jacket and wrapped the small child as tightly as possible with the belt, then he put the young boy on his back and started moving toward the side of the road by pulling himself along the cable, hand over hand. Natalie could see he was talking to the crying child and more than anything, she wondered what he was saying. Probably just the best things in the world, because he was August freaking Cates.
When the child was reunited with his father, Natalie expelled a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, her heart still fluttering as fast as a hummingbird’s wings.
“What the hell. I’m married to, like, Captain America or something.” She sniffed, the scene blurring in front of her. “I can’t watch this three more times. I can’t.”
But she did.
By the time it was Teri’s turn to hop on his back, the woman no longer looked worried. Her kids were out of danger.
And then it was over. The rain continued to come down in buckets, but it was over.
At which point, nothing short of an act of God could keep Natalie in the truck.
Chapter Twenty-Two
August trudged up onto the shore, sweatpants waterlogged, skin scraped from the debris that had passed him in the water. He accepted a blanket from one of the emergency workers and waved off the applause, relieved and gratified enough just to see the Frasier fivesome reunited. But he had one destination in mind. The truck. The woman.
Getting her the hell out of there and back into his house, where it was safe.
And he didn’t need to wait long to reassure himself she was all right, because Natalie was running toward him in her nightshirt.
It was the most beautiful thing he’d seen in his entire life—and easily the most terrifying. They were still in a volatile situation with the rain continuing to come down at an alarming rate. If the road behind him could be flooded in seconds, the one they were standing on could, too. Don’t get him started on landslides and falling trees and power lines coming down.
“Get back in the truck,” he called, his voice hoarse from shouting.
Of course she kept coming. Didn’t slow down at all.
The nightshirt clung to her, black hair stuck in damp curlicues to her neck and cheeks. No shoes. Was she hoping to round off this fine fucking morning with a tetanus shot? Or was she more of a hypothermia girl?
If only she wasn’t the most beautiful sight he’d ever beheld in his life, maybe he could hold on to his anger. But he was aching everywhere, all over his body, for her touch, because he’d had the same recurring thought during the rescue.
What if the last time I saw her, I was shouting at her? What if that’s how she remembers me? After all, there was always risk involved with every mission, no matter how big or small.
Around ten yards away from August, she stubbed her toe on the road and the dinner they’d eventually gotten around to eating around midnight nearly came back up.
“Natalie,” he growled, ready to admonish her for leaving the safety of the truck when he was damn well on his way to be with her, anyway. But the lecture died in his throat when she leapt into his arms with a sob, her body shaking like a washing machine during the spin cycle. “Hey.” He kept his voice as soft as possible, but it was thicker than pancake batter. “Everyone is okay, princess. Everything is fine.”
“What the hell,” she strangle-whispered into his neck. “Like, what the hell?”
August carried her over to the open passenger-side door of the truck, but he walked slowly, because there was nothing in the goddamn universe better than holding this woman, except for maybe holding her in a safe, dry location. “What’s the matter? You’ve never seen a flash flood before?”
She clung harder. “No!”
“Civilians.” He sighed, tickling her ribs a little. “Stay off this road during storms. The elevation puts it lower than the creek bed.” She said nothing, so he poked her. “Promise me, Natalie.”
“Okay. I promise.” She leaned back a little and her puffy eyes and red-tipped nose nearly made him stumble. “Of course, if I ever got stuck out there, you’d just strap on a harness and come rescue me. Totally calm and casual, as if you’re heating up a microwave dinner.”
He took stock of his body, cataloging the chaotic buzz at the base of his throat, the vibrations in his fingertips. The rippling of his heart, which whipped into breakneck speed at her words. “For the record, I’m not calm. I’ve got enough pent-up adrenaline to flip this truck and maybe run a half marathon. If you were the one I had to rescue, Natalie . . .” He shook his head, and kept right on shaking it until he probably looked insane. “I wouldn’t have been coolheaded enough to put on the harness. I’d have jumped in and swum.”
The picture she’d painted in his head—of herself stranded on the island of her blue car in the middle of a swift current—made his arms and knees weak, so he set her down sideways on the passenger seat before he did something humiliating, like collapse in the middle of the road. He was attempting to rein in his stampeding adrenaline and it took him a moment to notice how she was looking at him. Softly, with teeth-marked lips and eyes heavy with moisture, her breasts shuddering up and down. Vulnerable in a way he’d never seen her before. Walls down.
“I don’t think one month is going to be enough anymore,” she said haltingly, swiping at her eyes and hiccupping through a gulp of air. “We might need to renegotiate our terms.”
Oh shit. There went his heart. Booming like a cannon. Did she mean what she was saying? Or was she shaken up over the water rescue? He didn’t care. He just wanted his bride. “Forget negotiations.” He leaned down and pressed their foreheads together. “I don’t need any fancy language to know you belong with me.”
She gave him a tearfully dubious look. “It’s not that easy.”
“I don’t want easy,” he said through his teeth. “Neither one of us wants easy.”
“So . . . what? I can’t just . . .” The rain was so loud on the roof of his truck, he had to press his ear almost to her mouth to make out the next part. “I can’t just . . . give up New York.”
August’s lungs flooded with oxygen so fast, he got lightheaded. The way she said those words didn’t sound all that confident. No, she sounded open to negotiation. As in, she was considering the alternative to returning east? Holy hell. “Yes, you can. You can stay with your husband, who would throw himself into a flood for you.”
“That’s . . .” Was she having trouble breathing? Should he perform CPR? “That’s extremely romantic, but we’re probably jumping the g-gun because we just went through something scary.”
He shook his head. “I can’t believe that all it took was a standard water rescue to make you consider staying.”
A watery laugh burst out of her. “There was nothing standard about that. You were heroic. You were . . .” The muscles of her throat worked. “You could have died.”
“Me? Nah. I’m too stubborn.” Why did his response seem to upset her more? Was her lip trembling now? God, he didn’t like that. Not at all. Make her laugh. “Out of curiosity, how scary does living with me permanently sound to you? On a scale of TV dinner to flash flood.”
Not even a beat of hesitation. “Like back-to-back flash floods.”
“Thanks for your honesty,” he responded dryly. “We’ll try and work it down to a summer storm with no possible fatalities.”
Her attention dipped to his mouth and the damn thing went dry, like she’d snapped her fingers and wished it. “I love that,” she murmured. “I love some parts of the storm between us.” For long moments, they looked into each other’s eyes. Hers were uncertain, but hopeful, and so beautiful, so fathomless, a chicken bone seemed to be stuck behind his jugular. And it only doubled in size when her legs parted, ever so slightly on the seat, allowing his hips to move in closer to her heat. “Am I really considering staying longer than a month? I don’t have a real job, my family could take me or leave me, and you . . . we barely get along—”
“We are the fucking dream team and you know it. We got this.”
“Not yet. Not completely.” She closed her eyes. “Right now, this very moment, we do, though. I’ve got you. You’ve got me. Can you please bring me home and take me to bed?”
Frantically, August performed another check of his vitals and found the adrenaline hadn’t ebbed whatsoever. If anything, it had skyrocketed at the very real possibility that Natalie might consider staying in St. Helena. That he might actually have a shot at turning their marriage from one of convenience to one that would last.
Forever. Forever, if you asked his heart.
Or his dick. Because the damn thing was forever a backseat driver that wouldn’t be silenced. At the mere suggestion of sinking into Natalie’s warm, wet pussy, dude was growing like Jack’s magic beanstalk. Fuck. He was going to love on that thing so hard, he’d snap the headboard in half. Unfortunately, he might snap the girl of his dreams in half in the process. “You need to give me twenty minutes to flip my tire when we get home.”
Puzzlement knit her forehead together. “Huh?”
“The leftover adrenaline, Natalie. I need to work some of it off first or . . .” He pointed at the apex of her very smooth, very spreadable thighs. “I’m going to offend the queen.”
She did a double take. Squinted one eye. “Wait, so I’m the princess and my vagina is the queen?”
“And I’m her loyal subject. Yes.”
Silence fell.
But it was interrupted a moment later by her laugh.
A clear, musical sound that twisted his chest up in a knot and forced a hoarse chuckle from his own mouth. Foreheads flush, their bodies shook with mirth in the middle of the still-raging storm. “You’re such a weirdo,” she gasped.
“You can learn to live with it.”
She nodded, turned serious. “Maybe.” Her fingertips traveled down the front of his torso and he saw actual stars when they tucked inside the waistband of his sweatpants. “I don’t want to wait for you to flip the tire.”
“Need to flip the tire. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Do you think this is turning me off?”
“I don’t know. I just stay one hundred percent honest with you and hope for the best.”
“Oh dear,” she whispered, brushing her lips along his jawline. “That turns me on, too. We’re not even going to make it home.”
Jack’s magic beanstalk was almost at full height. “Tire.”
“Forget the tire,” she purred, touching her tongue to his earlobe.
Colors and shapes blurred in front of his eyes. “What t-tire?”
Footsteps approached from August’s right and he moved on instinct, stepping back from the V of Natalie’s thighs and pushing her knees together. There was only one person that had the privilege of seeing her panties and that person had been reduced to monosyllables.
Someone slapped him on the back.
“Thank you again for your assistance, Cates.”
August looked back over his shoulder to find one of the police officers holding his hand out for a shake. But thanks to his beanstalk being at full maturity, he could only turn partially and slap his hand into the officer’s waiting palm. “Don’t mention it.” The guy just stood there nodding and grinning, shifting in his boots. Oh man, August knew that look. He was seconds from getting invited out for a beer with the bros. “I need to get my wife home before she catches a cold.”
Natalie ran a knuckle down his happy trail and he almost swallowed his tongue. “The only thing I’m going to catch,” she whispered for his ears alone, “is this di—”
“All right, you take care, man. Let’s have a beer sometime,” August blurted, pushing Natalie’s legs into the truck, his blood thickening like hot gravy. At this point, he didn’t even care who saw his boner, as long as he got the woman home in the next ten minutes. Rest in peace to his headboard. In a few long strides, he was around the front bumper, diving into the driver’s side and reversing through the maze of emergency vehicles. “Oh, you are going to get it, Natalie queen princess Cates.”
She slid gracefully across the front row of his truck, pressing her mouth to his shoulder. Kissing, licking . . . and biting down in way that sent his balls up into his throat.
“Fuck.”
“Yes, please.” She gripped his cock through the wet material of his sweatpants and in one big, shuddering breath, he fogged up every single window of the truck. “And I don’t need you to take it easy on me. Our make-up sex was interrupted this morning. Maybe it should be a little . . .”
“Rough.” He fumbled for the defroster with a growl. “You have no idea how bad you’re making it hurt, princess.”
That magic hand of hers started to stroke him up and down. “Pull over and show me.”
“Natalie,” he groaned, trying to blink away the tiny dots of light spinning in front of his eyes. “I think you might be short-circuiting my brain.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, not looking the least bit contrite. Jesus, what was coming next?
When she stripped the soaked nightshirt over her head, he had his answer.
In a mere scrap of panties, she resumed jacking him off, but this time her hand had entered the end zone. It was inside his sweatpants doing the Lord’s work, playing with his balls and tugging on his cock gently, with a grip that increased in pressure, then got rough.
“Son of a bitch,” he hissed through his teeth, forcing himself to breathe and focus on the road. If he crashed his truck with Natalie in the passenger seat, he’d probably die from the horror alone. “I can’t pull over into the woods, Natalie. I’m not risking you getting struck by lightning or . . . God, another flooded road—”
“I’m safe as long as you’re with me.”
Now she was stroking his ego, too? He was man enough to know when he’d lost a battle. “You’re damn right you are, princess.”
Her hand was going for broke now. Was someone singing opera in the rear cab of his truck or was that all in his head? “Taking a quick break from our argument to let you know this is the best hand job I’ve ever had in my life. And about ninety-nine percent of those were performed by me, an expert on my own dick. You’re absolutely nailing it.”
Those lips curved into a smile against his jaw, her low-pitched hum coursing through him. “You know what would feel even better . . .”
“Your pussy? Yeah, it’s pretty much the only thing I’m capable of thinking about.”
“Pull over,” she cajoled, cupping and massaging his balls.
August gritted his teeth and searched for a break in the trees. There was one around here somewhere. He’d used it to make a K-turn a hundred times after forgetting to buy cat food at the store. Come on, come on. Point of no return. He was going to come in his pants.
There.
Every ounce of blood in his body was located in his lap, making his dick so stiff that he was dizzy by the time he parked the truck, threw open the driver’s side door and dragged Natalie across the seat. Out into the rain. He couldn’t get a breath, couldn’t think about anything but getting inside her, where it was warm and he belonged and she’d get pleasure. Christ, he wanted that more than anything. To bring her off so hard she’d be delirious for a week. “All right, let’s go.” Door closed, he lifted her up against it and pinned her there. Rough enough to rock the vehicle. You’re twice her size. “Natalie, I . . . the adrenaline . . .”
“I know what I’m doing,” she breathed, arching her back. Giving him a long, hot look at her tits. Those stiff, rosy nipples. “I know what I’m in for.”
“Just to clarify, though . . .” My cock is going to explode. “Very rough sex. With me. Now.”
“Yes.”
“No foreplay.”
“No,” she said, her tone reedy. “Please. Please. I want you to use me to get rid of the adrenaline. Now, August.”
Her panties were ripped to one side, his sweatpants shoved down and he entered her in one fast, upward punch of his hips. And a series of images from his life flashed in front of his eyes. Learning to ride a bike, Hell Week, shopping for socks that would actually fit his big-ass feet. Not a single moment in his existence compared to this. Filling up his woman and finding her soaked as fuck, on the verge of coming from one thrust. “Damn, princess,” he grunted, rattling the window of the truck with a series of quick drives. “Speaking of flash floods—”
“No.”
“Sorry.”
Their mouths locked into a kiss and she heaved a broken sound from her throat that made him feel sick with need. And she was ill with want, too. He could tell by the way she closed her eyes so tight during their breathless kiss, her legs wrapped so securely around his hips, he swore they were becoming a part of him. The way she had an orgasm almost immediately, her eyes flooding with anticipation, then going utterly blank, head falling back against the window, thighs quivering uncontrollably. “Oh Jesus, August, yes. Yes. Harder.”
This woman was a treasure. His hips were moving in a battering rhythm, cock harder than a fucking mallet, her ass squeaking up and down the wet door of his truck, and she was asking for more. “Anything you want.”
“No, anything you want.” She was shaking so hard mid-climax, he almost couldn’t make out her words. “That’s what I want.”
“Oh yeah?” The tether inside him loosened and he snapped his teeth against her ear. “I want you to bend over like a good girl so I can hit it filthy from the back. How about that?”
August learned something about their relationship in that moment.
This woman didn’t let him get away with jack shit.
Not unless he was giving her orgasms.
So apparently he’d be doing a lot of that.
August pried Natalie off the side of the truck and wrenched the driver’s door back open. She dropped her legs from his waist and spun around, gripping the edge of the seat, hips tilted up, her panties half in tatters. He tore them the remaining distance down her legs, licking the crack of her ass on the way up, which was something he wouldn’t mind doing every hour for the rest of his life, especially when she moaned and inched open a little wider. She panted his name, her smooth back puffing up and down. And hell, he was powerless to do anything but lick that pretty pucker some more, pressing between those tight cheeks and worrying his tongue against it. “August.”
“Mmmm.”
She squirmed back against his face. It was truly a thing of beauty. “August.”
If he kept this up, he was going to try something he had no goddamn business trying today, when he couldn’t be slow or gentle to save his life. “Coming, princess.”
He lunged to his feet, pressing forward over Natalie’s back and jerking her up onto her toes, her ass tucked like a dream into his lap. Then he reached down and pushed his cock home, shuddering over the enthusiastic way she welcomed him. She cried out and lifted her butt, giving him that deep access he needed so bad his nuts almost swore out loud.
“God, I love fucking you,” he growled against her spine, gripping her hip in his right hand, holding on to the steering wheel with his left. “I love fucking my wife. I feel it in my chest, you know? It’s never been like this. It’s never going to be like this again for either of us. All right? We found it.” He pressed his mouth to the nape of her neck. “You love fucking your husband.” His palm slipped downward from her hip, delving between her pussy and the edge of the seat, massaging her clit with two fingers. “Say it back to me.”
She heaved two big breaths, tweaking her hips back to meet his fast and furious pumps. “I love fucking my husband.”
“Why?”
“It’s so good. It’s just so good.”
“That’s not all that’s good, Natalie.” He took his left hand off the steering wheel and plowed it into her hair, tugging her head back. Locking eyes with her from above. “It’s good outside of bed, too. You know it is. We’re just figuring it out. I . . .” This was what he’d secretly been worried about, all hopped up on adrenaline. Saying those three words too early. Scaring her. Don’t push for too much too soon. “I need my wife. I’ll always fucking need my wife.”
Her breath caught and she blinked rapidly several times. Her response probably could have been delayed until later. There was a lot going on, between the pouring rain, thunder, the fact that he was thrusting into her body like humankind depended on him hitting that release button. But she surprised him, moved him, by pushing her back up against his chest, nuzzling her hair into his hand until his fingers loosened automatically to stroke her face. “I need my husband so badly, too.”
Oh boy.
That did it.
His dizziness increased due to the palpitations of his heart and the pressure between his legs. It was system overload. Desperate to bring her with him, never wanting to go anywhere without her ever again, he rubbed her clit the way he knew would roll her eyes back in her head—and with a pair of strangled moans, they lost it. August dropped his face into the valley of her neck and came like a motherfucker, roaring through some rough punches of his hips, making her scream, kicking that second orgasm into overdrive until they were in a heap, draped over the front of the driver’s seat.
He kissed her hair with what little strength he had left. “As long as you need me, Natalie, I’m with you. Whatever you decide, whatever happens, I’m your goddamn man.”
“I know.”
Several seconds ticked by, his chest swelling with every single one. “I love that you know.” I love you. He kept those words from running loose by dragging his lips along the slope of her shoulder. She’d admitted she needed him, that she wanted longer than a month. He needed to be grateful and patient. For now. “Going to take you home—our home—and do everything I can to make sure you don’t forget.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Natalie would say this for August.
He was making a very convincing case for staying in Napa.
She’d lost count of how many times they’d made love last night—the only marathon she’d ever participate in. They’d collapsed into bed after returning from the water rescue that afternoon, their naked skin pressed together head to toe, limbs intwined like they’d never let go. Hours later, she’d woken up aching for him. Aching. So badly that tears had escaped her eyes while she rode him, his fingers buried and twisting in her hair, his hips slamming upward while they feasted on each other’s mouths.
The rest of the night and subsequent morning—a lot of which had been spent together in the shower—were a blur. But this wasn’t. He was back in the barn without her, and it hurt more and more every time. And maybe it shouldn’t. He’d hesitated in the doorway a few hours ago, doubling back and suggesting she help with the administrative side of Zelnick Cellar, like Corinne had suggested . . . but it felt a little like being placated. Or distracted.
So much of August’s heart was made up of honor, but it was all tangled with Sam’s memory. The way he toiled over the wine on his friend’s behalf. The labor was his heart. But locking her out of the process meant he was still guarded. Not letting her in the whole way. And she was truly done settling for half measures when it came to love. That was what she’d gotten from her family, her friends, her colleagues, and Morrison.
It was all or nothing now. With August.
Maybe this was another definitive sign that she loved him.
Full trust was all she could accept.
She needed to focus on the positive—they both continued to evolve within the relationship.
He’d stuck around without storming off during their most recent fight. He’d made vows. Beautiful ones. Built her up in front of her family. Made her feel safe and cherished. Made her laugh. Told her he needed her.
That he was her man.
Did that mean she could simply call Claudia and shut down their concept in its tracks? Her last remaining New York friend had been loyal enough to promise to leave her job and come on board with Natalie. She’d done a ton of leg work over the last month, filing paperwork to register them as a business, making endless calls to find willing investors.
Now it was Thursday morning, one day before the scheduled meeting with potential investor William Banes Savage. This could be liftoff for them. The payoff.
Was she really ready to scrap their blood, sweat, and tears . . .
Not to mention the comeback she’d been dreaming about for months?
Her eyes strayed to the locked door of the barn, an impossible-to-miss dagger twisting in her breastbone. Was he making progress in there? Could she help in a roundabout way—and distract herself from life-altering decisions in the process? Yes. She’d call the bank and set up his loan meeting with Ingram Meyer. That wouldn’t step on August’s toes, would it?
Then she would call Claudia. Let her know that the plan to return permanently to New York was slightly less firm now. That way, if by some miracle she decided to stay, Claudia wouldn’t be blindsided. They would have time to make sure her livelihood was protected.
Secure in her plan, Natalie picked up the phone and called the bank.
“Hello. This is Natalie Cates for Ingram Meyer, please?”
A moment later, Ingram’s familiar voice filled her ear. “Mrs. Cates—I had a feeling I would be hearing from you. I assume you noticed the new zeroes in your account. Unless there is some kind of delay, the money should be there by now.”
Zeroes.
Account.
Her trust fund. She’d actually forgotten to check if it had been transferred.
If that didn’t tell Natalie her heart was here with August, nothing would.
“Thank you. Yes. I’m sure it’s fine.” She looked across the front yard to find August stepping out into the sunlight, pouring a thermos of water over his head. An unexpected swelling hit her in the dead center of her chest, her heart pumping so fast she struggled through an indrawn breath. Love. For better or worse, she was in love. “I’m actually calling about the loan appointment for August. Are you sure you can’t sneak us in this week?”
* * *
August watched Natalie approach from the house and everything in his head went momentarily silent. Kind of like dropping from a helo into pitch-black water, everything just cut out except for the sound of his heart. Boom boom boom. If he got lucky enough to watch his bride walk toward him on a regular basis for the next sixty years, he’d . . . die a happy man?
No, not quite.
As long as she was breathing, he’d be negotiating for more time with the man upstairs.
Surely God would understand. Natalie was his finest masterpiece.
“Hey,” he said, feeling totally and utterly tongue-tied in the presence of her looking so . . . relaxed. Soft in a loose denim dress with gold buttons down the front, hair in some kind of knot that looked like it could fall out at any moment. Maybe if he kissed her, it would just tumble down? Hell yeah. Sounded like a great idea to him.
You won’t persuade her to stay with sex.
What was the key ingredient? What was he failing to give her? The answer seemed just within his reach, but the elusive thing always slipped away before he could define it.
She distracted him from his troubled thoughts with a smile. “Great news. I got us an appointment tomorrow morning to meet with Ingram about the loan for Zelnick. Eight thirty. He’s going to sneak us in before business hours, since he has meetings for the rest of the day.”
And August’s stomach hit the dirt.
Right.
He still hadn’t told her about the investment from his CO.
That he didn’t need capital from the bank at all.
From the beginning, this had been about Natalie getting what she needed. Would she believe that, though, after so many men in her life had used money to control her? August wanted to trust that Natalie knew better than to think that about him. That he was different. But right now, when he’d just gotten her to consider staying in Napa, was not the time to spring a falsehood on her. Anything that might cause her to make the East Coast her final decision. They’d made a deal—and he’d been lying by omission the whole time.
If she left now, when they were so close to finding common ground, he’d fucking break.
So what did he do here?
If they went to the meeting, Ingram would take a look at his bank account and question why he needed funds when his numbers were already healthy, thanks to his CO. And if he didn’t go to the meeting, Natalie would question him.
Come on, universe.
He just needed a little longer to make sure she was his—permanently.
“August?” she prompted, her smile turning puzzled.
“Yeah, princess. Tomorrow morning at eight thirty sounds good.”
* * *
August had a habit of asking Sam for advice when he had no idea what to do. So that was where he went in the wee hours of the morning. He left the most incredible woman on the planet sleeping naked in his bed—painful, by the way—and he made the drive to the cemetery, making sure to leave enough time to get back for the bank appointment.
If he went through with it and didn’t end up calling Natalie to cancel. Maybe it was wise to tell her the truth in front of witnesses.
The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon when August sat down exactly five feet and nine inches from Sam’s headstone, not wanting to sit on his friend. He wasted no time burying his head in his hands and blurting out everything that had taken place since the morning of the wedding. “If I had one wish, it would be for you to meet her, man. She is such a badass.” Christ, he was welling up. “It feels like . . . one misstep and I’m going to lose her. I hope it doesn’t feel this risky forever, but even if it did, I would stick like glue. She’s worth walking through an endless field of landmines.” He blew out a breath. “Tell me what to do about this bank meeting, man.”
Usually, he could conjure Sam’s voice out of thin air. Imagine what his friend would say. But this time, his imagination didn’t comply. The sound of his friend’s voice was growing more and more faint; he couldn’t get the tone right, had no idea what advice Sam would give him—and the lack of reassurance and fogginess of Sam’s memory was too much on top of everything else.
He lay back in the grass and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths so his emotions wouldn’t run away with him. Not when he needed to be present this morning, because establishing his marriage to Natalie was his sole focus.
But when he closed his eyes, the stress of indecision caught up with him.
And he fell asleep dreaming of Natalie’s smile.
* * *
8:52.
No August.
Natalie looked down at the screen of her phone, willing him to return her calls. Or one of the numerous texts she’d sent. They were late for the loan meeting with Ingram and honestly, they might as well not even bother going inside now. Ingram had only a thirty-minute window to spare and much of that was gone now.
This wasn’t like him.
Then again . . . maybe it was?
They’d been married for only six days. Maybe it was totally within his character to leave before she woke up without any prior warning. And not just to push his tire—but to leave. Off the property. She’d gone looking for him around the house and in both barns, the unsettled feeling in her stomach yawning wider by the moment. Was something wrong? Did he have an emergency? Why didn’t he wake her up to help?
Then she’d finally found the note, attached to her favorite coffee mug.
Went to see Sam.
Until that moment, she’d never speculated on when August might bring her to see Sam. Or if he ever would. But as close as they’d been yesterday and last night, the way she’d been so vulnerable with him, August going to the cemetery alone felt a little like being shut out. Again. Perhaps it wasn’t a rational reaction, but tell that to her heart while it sank like a setting sun. August had a whole private part of his life, his grief, and he guarded it like a lion.
It was a part of him she’d never touch. She just had to accept that.
She’d just given herself to this man, not only in name now, but emotionally.
Less than a day later, she felt as if he’d dropped her without a safety net.
Reluctantly, she started her car and pulled out of the parking space in front of the bank. She didn’t feel like going home, though. To August’s house. It was too quiet without him there and she was looking for some reassurance, not more questions.
To be fair, she should have known that the Vos estate was the last place she should go. Maybe she was a masochist or maybe she had a tiny bit of hope that her relationship with Corinne was getting stronger. She’d surprised her mother with her research on VineWatch, right? Plus, if she and Corinne could relate to each other about anything, it was a man disappointing them. So home she went, with a frisson of hope in her chest.
It was doused the moment she pulled into the circular driveway and she saw two hybrids parked outside. The VineWatch logo was silk-screened onto their windows. Two men and one woman in khakis and navy blue polo shirts had just alighted from the vehicles. And Julian and Corinne were approaching them to shake hands.
She’d obviously just crashed their meeting.
A meeting they were having without her. As if she should be surprised.
Yet, she was? Obviously, she still had the capacity to be hurt by her family, because her stomach turned completely around and all she could do was stare.
Julian must have caught sight of her, because he was suddenly standing beside the driver’s-side window, signaling for her to roll it down.
“Hey,” he said warmly. “I’m glad Corinne decided to invite you to the meeting. I told her—”
“She didn’t invite me,” Natalie said dully. “I’m here by accident.”
If that didn’t sum up how she felt about everything, this entire day, maybe her entire life at this very moment in time, nothing did.
Julian straightened his tie, openly befuddled. “I see. She didn’t want to interrupt your first week as a married couple with business. For the record, I knew you’d want to be here—”
“It doesn’t matter, Julian,” she said, sounding numb. Feeling hollow.
What am I doing in this stupid town?
Nothing had changed. She would always be the odd one out. In her family. In her marriage. New York was the only place she’d ever been a consideration to others. It was the only place her input had ever been valued.
Not here.
Never here.
“I have a business meeting tonight in New York, so I’ll be wining and dining a tech billionaire at Scarpetta if anyone needs me,” she said, putting the car in reverse, blowing off her brother’s request that she stay and talk. She ignored the phone when it started to ring on the way home, too. August. When her mother started calling, as well, she turned the device off altogether. And it felt good. It felt good to slip back into that mindset of her early twenties, when she’d needed no one but herself. Natalie against the world.
They wouldn’t even miss her.
Thank God she’d never called Claudia to cancel the meeting with William Banes Savage.
As soon as Natalie walked through the door of August’s house, she opened her laptop and swapped her midafternoon flight for the next possible plane to New York. Feeling in control for the first time in months, she sent the boarding pass to her phone and tucked the laptop into her purse. One hour until she needed to leave for the airport and August still wasn’t home. Was he having a hard time with the visit to Sam?
Not my problem. He’s made that clear.
Pain carved a slice out of her chest, calling her a liar. She had to pause in the act of packing her small carry-on bag in order to breathe. It seemed that shutting herself off from August wasn’t going to be an easy process. Not like it had been before, with her ex. With every ex, really. If recovering from breakups was an Olympic sport, she would have medaled in all events. Vaulting over the truth. Sprinting away from accountability.
She wouldn’t win gold so easily in the August relay race.
Her chest was a dumpster fire. And leaving for the airport without saying goodbye wasn’t going to give her the vindication she wanted. The way she kept staring at the front door of the house, hoping he would walk through it, made that obvious.
The barn caught her eye through the window. Off-limits. She wasn’t allowed to go in there and mess with his fermentation process.
Well, too bad.
Natalie shoved her feet into some flats and stomped out of the bedroom, stepping over the sprawled cat on her way to the front door. She yanked it open, hating the way hope that August’s truck would be parked outside rose in her chest. It was not. There was nothing but an empty slab of concrete decorated with oil stains.
With her heart in her mouth, she paraded into the barn. She was surprised to find that the farther she ventured into August’s off-limits workshop, the more the bowstrings inside her chest loosened. Sure, she didn’t have his express consent to be in there, among his things, but she’d never consented to him making her fall in love with him, only to be compartmentalized. Kept at a distance. Close but not too close, the way her family kept her.
August wasn’t supposed to do that to her, too.
Natalie realized she was staring across the rows of oak barrels through a veil of tears. Her nose was on fire and those flames followed a trail of kerosine to the dead center of her chest, lighting up that sad, suffering organ and turning it to ashes. Partially.
Some part of it must have remained beating, because she swiped at her nose and pulled out the stopper from the first barrel, immediately recognizing the need for filtration.
Nobody wanted her help, especially August.
Well, that was too damn bad, wasn’t it?
* * *
I fell asleep. How could I fall asleep with her waiting for me?
How could I do that?
When August pulled into his usual spot outside the house, his stomach was already a bubbling cauldron of acid. Because she wouldn’t answer his calls, they went straight to voice mail and now, her blue hatchback was gone. Natalie’s car. Was gone.
He dove out of the truck and without missing a beat, started shouting, “Natalie.”
She wasn’t inside the house. He knew it, because if she was anywhere in the vicinity, he would feel that welcome presence. Despite that intuition, he almost kicked down the door of the house, because his fingers wouldn’t work well enough to unlock it, shouting her name the whole time.
When he got inside, it was dead silent. Menace sat perched on the edge of a dining room chair, her expression nothing short of a narrow-eyed accusation. Panic rising, he took out his phone and called Natalie, cursing a blue streak when it went to voice mail again. Maybe she’d just gone to Vos Vineyard? Maybe she’d been pissed off at him enough to move some of her things back to the guest house? Because, yeah. His wife was not in the bedrooms or the bathroom and her fucking toothbrush was gone‚ a fact that made his windpipe shrink to the size of a pinhole.
“No. No, no, no . . .”
Julian would know if she’d gone to the guest house.
He’d call Julian.
August didn’t notice his hand was shaking until he hit the number for Natalie’s brother. “Yes?” answered the professor on the second ring.
“Is Natalie there?” August barked into the receiver.
“She was. But she left.” A long pause, some creaking. “That was over two hours ago. She’s not answering your calls, either?”
“If she was, I wouldn’t be calling you!”
“Good point,” Julian said—and August really, really didn’t like the fact that this normally unflappable dude sounded worried. “All right. Take a deep breath. She was obviously upset, I just didn’t think she’d really leave—”
“She’s upset because I missed our meeting at the bank this morning. I know. I went to visit Sam and I couldn’t hear him anymore and I fell asleep. She wouldn’t just leave because of the meeting, though. Would she? She’d be here to fight with me. She’s supposed to be here.”
Julian remained silent a little too long.
“What?” August asked, dread curdling his blood.
“Corrine and I had a meeting with VineWatch this morning. It started just after nine A.M. When Natalie showed up in the driveway, I assumed she was here for the meeting. But my mother hadn’t invited her.” He cursed under his breath. “I should have done it myself.”
August was frozen in the middle of the kitchen floor. “Why wouldn’t you invite Natalie to a meeting with VineWatch? She knows that company inside and out. Better than both of you put together.”
“You’re right. She does.”
How was he still breathing with a fifty-ton anvil sitting on his chest. “So . . .” His swallow got stuck. “So you’re telling me I missed the appointment at the bank. And then she showed up at Vos and found out you were having a meeting without her.”
My wife.
My wife.
We crushed her. I crushed her.
August was back outside now and the chill of panic had taken firm hold of his jugular and both lungs. Barn. She wouldn’t be in the barn, but he had to look anyway.
He’d asked her not to go in there. Now he was desperate to find her inside.
Funny how fast things could change.
No. It wasn’t funny at all. He’d asked her to keep out of this place where he performed the ritual of winemaking in honor of his friend. He’d refused to involve her, just like her family. Pushed her away where it counted, while expecting her to come closer physically and emotionally. All the while . . .
He’d been the one putting up the barrier.
“Oh my God, I’m such a fucking moron.”
“August . . .” Julian sighed. “I haven’t told you the worst part. She said she was going to New York. Having a dinner meeting at some place called Scarpetta. It’s hard to tell if Natalie is being serious sometimes, but obviously . . . she went.”
Jesus. No. In the middle of the barn, August’s legs weakened. He dragged his hand down his face and viewed the barn and all of his equipment through raw, gritty eyes.
No wonder my wine sucks. It needed her. I needed her.
He was no better than her family. She’d tried so hard to get in, to be important to them, until eventually she gave up. He’d been so outraged on her behalf. Who could keep their distance from someone so incredible and smart and dynamic and lively . . . ?
Meanwhile he’d done the exact same thing.
He’d rejected her help. He’d rejected her. Denied them a chance to be closer because he insisted on feeling his way alone in the dark. He was like a man who refused to pull over and ask for directions, but a hundred times worse, because being valued, considered . . . it meant so much to his Natalie. He was supposed to be her safe place, but he’d been hurting her all along.
Now she was gone.
Somehow August knew something had changed before he even reached the row of barrels—and after pulling out a few stoppers, the difference was obvious. The wine had lost a lot of its cloudiness. Was less sluggish. And the taste wasn’t a 100 percent improvement—not so soon—but by God, it was a hell of a lot better.
She could have been helping all along. And his stupid pride had kept her locked out.
“I fucked up,” he croaked into the phone, falling forward onto his elbows. “I have to go.”
“August, wait.” August barely had the strength to keep the phone pressed to his ear. “It wasn’t so long ago that I almost ruined things with Hallie. I know you must feel like absolute shit right now. God knows I do—”
August wailed something unintelligible.
“My mother and I both owe Natalie a serious apology. But you’re the one who has to reach her right now. Act sooner than I did with Hallie. You’ll have less of a hole to dig out of.”
“I’ve been digging a hole from day one, man. I’ve reached China at this point.”
“Start climbing out of it now.” Julian paused. “Women have the capacity for forgiveness and compassion that men will never fully grasp. She might decide to spare your life.”
That’s exactly what it would be. Sparing his life. He could already feel the will to live deserting him slowly. “I’m in love with your sister. I love her so much.”
“We’ve established this.”
“She’s only been gone for a little while and I already miss her so much—”
“August, this is getting weird.”
“Okay. Sorry.” He cleared his throat, tried to put some steel in his voice, but it sounded suspiciously like a sniffle. “Later, man.”
“Goodbye, August. And good luck.”
August dropped the device and buried his head in his hands. “Goddammit.”
She’d gone to New York. Three thousand miles out of his reach.
Then you better get your ass to the airport, roared Sam’s voice, back and louder than ever. They probably don’t have any extra legroom seats left, but you’ll survive.
If August could have plucked those words out of the ether and crushed them to his chest, he never would have let go. Of course Sam had gone silent. August’s conscience had probably been blocking those mental echoes from coming through.
Come on, August, you can make this right. I believe in you.
That final dose of confidence from his best friend was exactly what he needed to sprint toward the house. If his wife was on the opposite coast, that was where he needed to be, too.
Chapter Twenty-Four
There was a low buzz in the back of Natalie’s head.
It had been there since she’d landed in New York. It was still there when she checked into the hotel, just off Park Avenue, and it was growing louder now as the potential investor spoke to her from across the polished table, talking about his recent trip to Mykonos. That was how these meetings worked. They didn’t talk about money or investment strategies, it was all social chitchat until the last five minutes. Up until that point, every tick of the clock was spent determining whether she had reached a high enough social standard to even associate with.
In the not-so-distant past, she didn’t even have to take meetings. Her portfolio did the talking. But that approach didn’t work anymore. Her company might have asked her to step down quietly, but after an extended absence and without a successful firm to back her up, her stock as a financier had dropped significantly.
“You wouldn’t believe the water,” said the investor, crunching into some kind of crostini with lobster salad on top. “We couldn’t tell where it ended and the sky began. We’re thinking of going back for Christmas. Too many tourists in New York in December.”
Based on her research, he was from Florida, but fine. Hate on people just trying to have a stinking vacation.
“Greece in December,” Natalie forced herself to respond in a bright, interested tone. “That’s the time to go, so you can avoid the heat.” Was that even true? Natalie didn’t know. She needed to get her head in the game here, but she couldn’t seem to concentrate. Had August found her handiwork in the barn? Was he angry that she’d overstepped his boundary or . . . maybe he was surprised he didn’t utilize her solution sooner and would use it, even if he didn’t come up with it himself?
Fat chance. He was too stubborn.
And it was really, wildly ridiculous to miss him so much that her body was sore.
Did they really sleep together for the first time this week?
It felt like they’d been making love for a century.
“Ah!” The investor broke into her thoughts by signaling someone over her shoulder. “I see one of my colleagues at the bar. Shall we settle up here and join them?”
My God, this whole night was getting away from her. She’d flown three thousand miles to secure a chunk of this man’s money. Claudia had busted her behind to pin him down for Natalie. Now that she finally had the chance, she was blowing it?
Natalie mentally shook herself and leaned forward. “Before we do that, Mr. Savage—and tonight is on me, of course—I would love to talk to you about the new venture—”
“Listen, Miss Vos, I’ll be plain,” he interrupted, wiping his mouth with the white cloth napkin and setting it aside. She could see the rejection coming a mile away and all she could think was I’m not Miss Vos anymore. I’m Mrs. Cates. “I appreciate the fact that you’ve flown all the way from Napa to take this meeting, but I’m not sure us getting into bed together is the best play for me.”
It took a physical effort not to openly gag at his phrasing. “I understand your hesitation completely, of course. I’ve been out of the game for a while, but that’s an advantage, not a drawback. I’m coming in with a fresh perspective. You’re going to get more than the same stale plays from me. Sure, my firm is the epitome of young, but you have a reputation as a maverick. You take gambles, as well. Early on in your career, you invested in microprocessors before that kind of tech became a standard addition to every portfolio.”
He smirked. “My gamble paid off.”
Those four words made one thing painfully obvious. Savage knew she’d been fired. Of course he did. News like that didn’t stay quiet in the financial sector, especially when she’d been such a visible force prior to disappearing. Tonight was the first time she’d looked anyone from the finance world in the face and had her demise addressed. It was a lot easier than she’d imagined it would be. Almost like the sting was gone. Being revered by power players was no longer the most important thing in her life. What was?
Or more specifically . . . who?
Natalie breathed through a wave of loneliness.
“Yes. It did pay off. But lately you’ve played it safe. See these men at the bar?” Briefly, she glanced over her shoulder and her stomach lurched. Morrison was there. Her ex-fiancé had just pulled out a stool for his new intended, the bartender setting cocktail napkins down in front of the pretty couple, saying something to make them both laugh.
Oh God, why hadn’t she chosen a different restaurant?
This was a typical haunt for analysts. She recognized several faces at the bar.
Natalie turned back around, praying her face wasn’t fuchsia. Keep talking. “To these men, safe equals stagnant. It makes them begin to wonder if there is a cash flow. Or nothing but dusty stacks languishing somewhere, waiting to be inherited. Is investing with me a gamble? Yes. But it’s also a signal to the sharks that you’ve got more than enough money. Money to set on fucking fire, if you want to. Maybe that’s the equivalent to investing with me. Ringing a bell that says, ‘I take risks, I know something you don’t know’? It opens more doors. It puts your name in someone’s mouth when they’re considering who to bring in on the investment of the century. It makes you fresh.”
Natalie sat back in her chair.
Familiar faces at the bar were staring. She could feel heat on her back. They were slowly noticing she was in the same establishment as her ex and his future wife. They were hoping to see fireworks. More than likely, they also knew she was there to court this man’s influence and were hoping to get a hint at the outcome. Sharks, indeed.
Had her spiel worked? It was difficult to tell. Savage no longer had his smirk, but he looked more irritable than inspired by her speech. He was wiping a corner of his mouth over and over again, unnecessarily, while considering Natalie closely. “I need a little more time to consider it,” he said finally, throwing down the napkin.
Okay. That was more promising than an outright hell no.
Where was the sense of victory? Or even hope?
Totally absent, that’s where.
She’d given the pitch her best effort. For herself. For Claudia.
Might as well admit it, though. She’d been hoping he’d say no.
“Thank you,” she said, reaching out to shake his hand firmly. The waiter set the leather booklet containing the bill in front of her and she dropped her card on top without looking at the price, on purpose, which brought the smirk back to his face. After the receipt was signed, they both pushed back from the table and stood. “I appreciate your time, Mr.—”
“You’ll join us for a drink before you jet back to wine country, won’t you?” He raised an eyebrow while flicking a glance over her shoulder. “Unless there’s someone you want to avoid?”
Obviously, he’d seen her ex arrive. This was either a test of her mettle or he just wanted to pay Natalie back for pointing out his lack of risk taking at dinner. “If I made a habit of avoiding uncomfortable situations, I wouldn’t be here right now at all.”
He inclined his head, as if to say, Prove it.
“One drink, then,” she said, tightly, turning on her heel.
It was worse than she’d expected. Every eye in the place was fastened on her. She’d rubbed elbows with most of these analysts and portfolio managers over the years at this very place, smiling while they gloated over their client list. Attended a couple of their weddings, even. Now she was nothing but tomorrow’s gossip at the office.
Making eye contact with Morrison was inevitable and everyone was watching to see how it would happen. No matter how she handled this, they would embellish the story or recast her as scorned and jealous. But in this moment, the only person who mattered was the investor she was trying to woo. Although, God, being tested by this dude was getting exhausting. She was beginning to lose sight of why it mattered.
She also just really, really wanted to go home to August.
Swallowing the fistful of tacks in her throat, Natalie followed William the remaining distance to the bar and let her gaze drift across to where Morrison was sitting with his fiancée. Giving them a wave and smile wasn’t nearly as hard as she expected. Actually, it felt kind of good. Like closure. But that didn’t stop everyone around her from whispering. Snickering in their single malt scotch. Having yet another laugh at her expense—
The thought died in its inception when someone else walked into the bar.
August.
August?
No, her eyes had to be playing tricks on her.
How . . . ?
It . . . was really him. There was no mistaking the giant ex-SEAL for anyone else. His wide shoulders had been wrestled into a navy blue suit jacket, his hair brushed back and semi-damp, his face clean-shaven. He sucked all the unwanted attention away from Natalie like an extra-large vacuum. Men who’d been hunkered over the bar stood up straighter now, as if commanded, trying to compete with August’s height and swagger.
Dear God, the swagger.
He walked in like everyone owed him a hundred bucks, but he was too lazy to collect.
Where had he found a tailor who could craft a suit big enough to fit three normal-sized men? And there was no use pretending it didn’t make him look like sex on two thick, tireflipping legs. Head to toe, her flesh flushed and turned tight.
I’m flustered. I’m actually flustered by my husband.
Probably because the last time she’d seen him, he’d been feeding her orgasms like candy. Just popping them into her mouth like Mentos.
More, please, sir.
Wait.
Natalie shook herself. What was he doing here?
Time slowed considerably when she met August’s eyes. He’d rounded the corner of the bar, striding in that overly cocky way right in her direction, and now she was actually jealous for the first time that night. Because that suit clung to his powerful body the way she wanted to—wrapped around every inch of him, tied in a knot and worn out.
When August was a few feet away, however, something else rippled through the lust.
Joy.
Flat-out joy to see him.
That she wouldn’t have to wait to be back in St. Helena. He was here.
He should have been here all along. They should have been together.
That was what the buzzing in her head had been trying to tell her.
Natalie held her breath as her husband came to a stop right in front of her. The loud conversation in the bar area had died down to a hum. Or maybe the waves crashing in Natalie’s head were drowning out the sound? And they crashed even louder when August leaned down and kissed her cheek, his hand landing possessively on her hip. Squeezing in silent communication. I missed you. Or was she projecting?
“Excuse me for a moment, Mr. Savage,” she managed, walking them out of earshot from her potential client. The scent of grapefruit washed over Natalie and she gulped it down greedily. “What are you doing here?” she whispered, pulling him closer by the lapels of his jacket, careful to keep at least an inch between their bodies. An inch they both, very obviously, were eager to eliminate if the rushing of exhales was any indication.
“You want the truth?” He turned his nose into her hair and breathed deeply. “I’ve been through Hell Week, injuries, training that nearly killed me, giving myself stitches without so much as an Advil. And none of it, Natalie, is worse physical torture than being away from you.”
Blood rushed to her ears and started pounding. Movements around them seemed to be happening in a dream, all grainy and distant. The inch between them shrank until it no longer existed, the fronts of their bodies meeting, pressing, the rate of her heartbeat tripling. “I would have been home tomorrow.”
“That isn’t soon enough. Another hour wouldn’t have been soon enough.”
If she didn’t armor herself immediately, she was going down. RIP Natalie. “I’m still angry at you for missing the meeting. For—”
“Shutting you out. Good. You should be. I fucked up. I’ve been fucking up since the start with you.” His fist twisted in the back of her dress. “I’m sorry. I’m not making excuses, but I went to see Sam yesterday and it wasn’t the same as it usually is. I can usually pretend he’s there talking to me and this time I couldn’t. I just sort of . . . shut off.”
Denial hit her like a truck. Oh . . . no. She’d left him to deal with that alone?
“Then I’m sorry, too, August.” Was everyone in the restaurant staring at them? How could they not be? But with their prying eyes shielded by the wall of August’s body, she was in a little I-don’t-care cocoon. “It’s hard to focus on that when you’re wearing this suit.”
In her periphery, she saw his eye crinkle at the corner, lips twitching. “Even better than my wedding tux?”
She sucked down another breath of grapefruit, then pushed him away slightly. On second thought, she tugged him a tiny bit closer.
I’m losing my mind.
August took hold of her indecisive wrists without a word and dropped his mouth to the space right above her ear, rumbling, “Babe.”
It was the equivalent of putting a pin in a balloon. She just unloaded. “I don’t think I’m going to get the investment and . . . instead of business, it just feels like another man using money to make me dance, you know?” She watched the lump move up and down in August’s throat. “Everyone is staring at me. They think I’m a joke. And Morrison just arrived out of the blue with his future wife, sitting at the bar, making me the live entertainment for the evening.”
August stiffened at the mention of her ex. “How do you feel about seeing him?”
He’d made himself vulnerable by giving her the truth when he walked in. She couldn’t do anything but return the favor now. “I don’t feel a thing.”
His chest shuddered up and down, tension ebbing from his burly frame. “And when I walked in?”
“I thought . . . you should have been here all along.”
A gruff sound left him, throat muscles shifting in a pattern.
He opened his mouth to say something, but they were interrupted by Savage.
“And who might this be?” asked the potential investor. Was it her imagination or had he intentionally dropped the register of his voice several octaves?
“Mr. Savage, I would like you to meet my husband, August Cates.”
“Husband?” The man reared back a little and he traded a glance with a few of the men behind him at the bar. “It must have been a whirlwind romance.” He put out his hand for August to shake. Her husband didn’t seem thrilled about letting her go long enough to conduct the greeting. “Call me William, please. Good to meet you. Sorry you couldn’t make dinner.”
August nodded. “Nice to meet you, too.”
Savage studied her husband. “Are you some kind of athlete or something?” he asked, rolling a shoulder.
“I’m a SEAL. Been retired just over three years.”
“You’re shitting me! A Navy SEAL.” The man dropped his drink onto the bar, with no awareness that it splashed onto the jacket of the closest patron. “When I was a kid, I wanted to be a SEAL. Talked about it until I was blue in the face. My father even set up obstacle courses in the backyard and called it toddler training. I’d love to hear some battle stories.”
Her husband looked down at her. “I’m sure you’ve heard plenty of them tonight from Natalie already, though, right? I don’t know a lot about the financial world, but a woman on Wall Street would have to fight harder than anyone, I imagine.”
Savage laughed. “Harder than a SEAL? I’m not sure about that.”
August’s eyes seemed to darken a shade. “It’s a different kind of fighting. And she has fought her way back here with almost no support. No one encouraging her to do it. God only knows where her inner strength comes from, but I’ll tell you something, it’s more than I’ve got. It’s enough to keep putting herself out there with no reward and I feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t take someone with that much bravery seriously.”
It took everything inside of Natalie not to burst into tears. He was right. She’d been kicking ass and clawing her way back and that effort had gone unacknowledged. By anyone. And she wasn’t the only woman who went about her daily grind only for people to expect more, so she liked to think all of womankind celebrated with her in that moment. When her husband finally got it. When he finally saw her.
The investor had gone from jocular to thoughtful during August’s speech. He turned his attention to her now. “If I trust you with my money, what’s your first play?”
Natalie took a deep breath and let it rip. “Obviously we’re going with a classic long/short equity strategy. We make the smart investments that put us ahead and give us room to play and then we short technologies, pharma, oil based on bold predictions and market trends. And I’m not just talking about the United States. We’re going to monitor markets and how consumers respond in every geographical location on the face of the earth, taking everything down to the fucking weather patterns into account. If your money isn’t tripled in the first quarter, I’ll give you back every cent of your initial investment.”
A muscle hopped in Savage’s cheek. August’s pride was evident in every line of his body, but she couldn’t risk looking at him or she’d lose her cool.
“I’ll move some numbers around and call you on Monday,” Savage said finally, holding out his hand for another shake from August, then he traded a shake with Natalie one more time and rejoined his friends at the bar.
“Holy shit, that was incredible,” August whispered to her out of the side of his mouth.
“Be cool. Pretend I go off like that all the time.”
“Done. But let’s get out of here, princess,” he exhaled. “These pants are too tight in the ball region.”
Natalie shook her head to hide the creeping amusement, breezing past her husband and beginning the journey toward the exit. “Only you would make the romantic gesture of flying across the country and ruin it with ball talk in, like, eight seconds.”
August followed so close behind her, she could feel his body heat through the clingy material of her dress. “Eight seconds is a lifetime when a man has no testicular circulation.”
“Is this a ploy?” she asked over her shoulder. “When we get to my room, you’re going to tell me you’re medically required to get your pants off as soon as possible?”
“Well, not now, since you’ve called me on it. I’ll have to save that idea for next time.”
“Next time?”
He grunted.
They were passing by Natalie’s ex and his fiancée. Both of them sipped their drinks and looked coolly at Natalie and August as they passed. Or maybe they were just wary? If she recalled correctly, she and her partner’s daughter had gotten along great at company functions. The situation itself was simply awkward. Just not for Natalie. For some reason, she felt totally comfortable stopping beside the couple, laying a hand on both of their backs, and saying a heartfelt congratulations. She’d never really loved Morrison, so what was the sense in begrudging the fact that he’d found love elsewhere?
Her ex smiled at his intended. She smiled back. Simultaneously, they thanked Natalie.
Then she took August’s hand and after a little tugging—August clearly wanted to say something to her ex—they continued toward the elevator that would bring them down to street level. “What were you going to say to him?” she asked as they stepped inside, the gold doors snapping together in front of them.
“I don’t know. All I could think of was Julia Roberts’s line in Pretty Woman. You know? ‘Big mistake. Big. Huge.’ But then you decided to be mature about the whole damn thing. Kind of caught me off guard.” He shrugged those big shoulders. “That’s probably a good thing. I’d rather be remembered for quoting something like Rambo. Or Happy Gilmore.”
“Wow. You really just summed up your whole personality in two movies.”
He grinned over at her. “Your turn.”
Natalie let her head tip back. Gone was the stiffness that had been building since she boarded her flight. Fun. She was having fun. Did she always have fun with this man, even when they were arguing? “Wall Street. And Bridesmaids.”
“Bam. Beautifully done.”
“Thank you.”
Without warning, August backed her up against the wall of the elevator, his mouth stopping just a whisper above hers. “You know I’m trying to follow your lead and be mature, but I actually wanted to punch your ex in the face, right?”
Deep down, she had. She’d known that like she knew her own name. “Yes,” she breathed.
“Good. Just so we’re clear.”
“Hmm.”
Her brain said, Sex. Sex right here and right now.
Unfortunately, the elevator doors opened to reveal a dozen people staring back.
With a muttered curse, August took her hand and led her through the throng of people, toward the street. “Where are you staying?” he asked, guiding her through the glass door of the building and out onto the sidewalk. It was a Friday night in a part of town where not a ton of bars were located anyway, so most of the pedestrians were working stiffs who’d stayed late at the office. But traffic roared by at its usual breakneck pace, horns bleeping expletives, music drifting out of car windows, passersby holding conversations on their phones.
“I’m one block down,” she called up to him over the street noise.
“Ah.” He nodded, pulling her closer to navigate the sidewalk traffic with a frown. “I’m all the way east.”
Natalie battled the disappointment. “You . . . booked a room?”
“Yeah, about that,” he answered slowly. “Believe me, I wish we were in a place where I could assume I’m staying in your room. Fuck. You have no idea. My dick is like the end of a hockey stick right now. You remember the way it curves when it’s hard . . .”
“Yes,” she all but panted. “I remember.”
“Good.” He tucked his tongue into his cheek for a second, seemingly to subdue a smile, but it dropped just as quickly. “It wasn’t right what I did.” She tugged on his hand to indicate they’d reached her hotel and they ducked into the lobby together. The city sounds were replaced with the soft murmur of conversation and piano music. But she could barely hear anything over August’s voice and the pounding of her heart, especially when he guided her to a quiet corner of the lobby and looked down at her with such earnest intensity. “I asked you to give up everything and stay in Napa. I asked you to drop your defenses for me when I wasn’t willing to do the same. I’ve been keeping you out, by refusing to let you help me solve my main problem at the winery. I see that now, Natalie. And I acted really fucking superior, like I had my end of this relationship all figured out. I didn’t. I was the weak link. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
He brought her hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles, leaving her heart fluttering wildly in her throat. Over his touch. His words. The perceptiveness of them.
She’d underestimated him yet again, hadn’t she?
“You have no idea how badly I want to come upstairs with you. Honestly, everyone in the lobby is about to see a grown man cry. My dick might just hop right off my body, assume a human form, and punch me in the face. But, uh . . .” He blew out a long breath. “I saw you in that bar tonight and you looked like you were in the right place, all classy and confident and polished. You knocked that motherfucker’s socks off. This is where you want to belong, if nothing else. I should have listened to you in the beginning. Maybe, uh . . . maybe I’m not the best thing for you. Natalie . . .” He leaned down, kissed her mouth gently, remaining there and breathing hard for a moment. Then, swallowing audibly, he took a step back, misery written on every one of his features. “I have to protect myself from getting in any deeper here, because you’re going to leave, maybe you should leave. And every time we’re together, you and me being apart seems more and more unthinkable.”
Being apart? He assumed her decision had been made to leave Napa. Permanently.
On the plane ride here, that was where her compass had been pointing. New York.
For good.
Now she wasn’t so sure. How could she remove herself from this man’s life when he’d walked in tonight and stitched her back together just by existing? She was deeply in love with August Cates and somewhere along the way, that started meaning more to her than a comeback.
A lot more.
Her indecision was causing him to suffer, so she needed to make a choice. Now. Tonight.
And when she looked up at this man, there really was no decision to make at all, was there?
Chapter Twenty-Five
So this is love.
A painful motherfucker.
That old saying, If you love somebody, let them go, actually had real-life applications and it was galling and horrible, to say the least. But Jesus, what he’d said was the truth. She fit into that bar full of millionaires tonight like sugar in coffee. A much-needed dose of sweet among the bitterness. Gorgeous and ready to take on the world—it was right there on her face.
He’d felt like a jackass walking in there, stuffed into his suit. Palms sweating.
The truth of why he’d come wouldn’t stay out of his mouth. Hell, telling Natalie how he felt about her was becoming this thing he needed to do to breathe. But taking her to bed knowing she would come back to this city one day soon and stay? Might as well perform open heart surgery on him without the painkillers.
Those fancy hotel elevators would take them upstairs. To a room with a really nice bed and, yeah, that business formal dress she was wearing would come off so easily. Just slide right down to the floor. He’d get on his knees and eat her out until her head spun. She wouldn’t be nearly as polished when he finished with her.
“August, about what you said . . . ” she began, then paused to arch an eyebrow. “I can tell what you’re thinking about.”
August sighed, resisting the urge to adjust his erection. “I doubt that.”
She blinked innocently. “You’re not thinking of going down on me?”
Now it was August’s turn to blink. And he did. About ninety-six times. “Did you not hear a word I said before? About protecting myself?”
“Yes, I did.” She took a long breath. “I heard you and I understand. You’re right. The more time we spend in bed together, the more difficult it would be to part ways.”
That sounded like a pretty damn good reason to go upstairs, now didn’t it?
August gnashed his molars together and tried to smile at the same time.
Everything hurt. His heart, brain, and dick were a trifecta of misery.
“I’ll wait here while you go upstairs.” He shoved both hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her. “Call me when you’re inside the room with the door locked. And a chair wedged under the door, too, princess. You wouldn’t believe how easy it is to disengage those little safety latches.”
“August—”
“Please, Natalie, you have to go. I’m losing my resolve. You have no idea how bad I need you right now.”
Because, God, she was beautiful. The whole lobby had to be staring at his wife. If he could tear his eyes off her for a second, he might be able to confirm. He’d have flown back and forth between coasts for the rest of his life, just to be standing there to hear her voice. He also knew a long-distance relationship between them would never work, because he’d resent every second away from her and he still had a responsibility to Sam. And now to his CO.
The reminder of his commanding officer forced him to recall what Natalie had said back in the bar. I don’t think I’m going to get the investment and . . . instead of business, it just feels like another man using money to make me dance, you know?
He’d come to New York to lay his faults at her feet, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her he’d kept a two-hundred-thousand-dollar investment a secret. She was already most likely leaving him, did he really have to make her hate him, too? Put him in a category with her father, the investor, and the ex-fiancé? His heart wouldn’t withstand the blow.
What was going on in her head right now? A groove had formed between her eyebrows and she appeared to be trapped between a rock and a hard place. Was this it? Was she going to end things right here and now?
“August, I need you to walk me to my room—”
“Natalie . . .” His tongue thickened in his mouth and his hands felt stupid because they weren’t on her. “I can’t do that and not come inside.”
Don’t think of their wedding night.
Don’t—
Too late.
He’d think of her mouth that night in his final moments on earth.
Right now, however, he needed to make it through a few more minutes. After which he would take a cab back to his hotel and get to his room as fast as possible. Then he would pull up those pictures that he’d added to his camera roll from social media and stroke one out to Natalie in her wedding dress. If that wasn’t a sign that he’d grown obsessed with this woman, nothing was. He actually got off remembering the moment she’d vowed in public to be his wife. That couldn’t be normal.
Natalie gripped the meatiest part of his arms and shook him. “August. I know. I know you can’t walk me to my room without coming inside.” She slid her palms up, along his shoulders and higher, cradling his face. It felt so incredible, he had to stifle a moan. “You don’t have to protect yourself. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’m coming home with you. To St. Helena. I’m staying there. With you. Because of you.”
What?
August’s lungs were suddenly empty, the lobby sounds dulling to a whisper around him.
Had someone slipped him an Ambien on the plane and he was dreaming this whole scenario, because he could have sworn Natalie just said she was coming home with him.
His entire body was one big pulse and he could barely gather his thoughts over the booming noise it made. “I don’t understand. You’re coming back to stay, even though I’ve been a jackass? Even though you have the trust fund? And the investor?”
“You’re better than all of those things,” she whispered, eyes shining.
He doubled over, bracing his hands on his knees, doubt finally giving way to joy, which spread through him like wildfire. “You better not be pranking me.”
“Take me upstairs and find out.”
They took a giant step toward each other at the same time, Natalie tucking her small, elegant hand into his larger one. Their fingers threaded together and held.
Christ, what a privilege. This was happening. It was actually happening.
The elevator ride to Natalie’s floor was a blur. He couldn’t even scramble enough brain power to kiss her, because it was all occupied with relief and shock and happiness. So much happiness. Doors opened, feet moved along a carpeted hallway, and with her room in sight, their official reunion imminent, his brain finally, blessedly came back online. Mostly.
When had he backed her up against the door? Their mouths were a breath away from touching, her tits flattened against his chest. He was burning alive with the need to give her an orgasm. Hearing her demands, feeling those fingers twist in his hair, her pussy clamping down—
“Stop thinking about it, August, and do it.” She licked into his mouth slowly, dragging his bottom lip through her teeth. “Bring me inside. Put me up against the wall.”
If a hotel guest happened by at that moment, they would have assumed Natalie was being mugged, he reached for her bag so fast. “Key, princess. Key.”
A desperate sound bubbled out of her, both of them fumbling to get the clasp open on her purse and locate the card. He slapped it up against the sensor, groaning when the light turned green, and walked her into the room, kicking the door shut behind them. As horny as August was, spurred on by her request for wall sex, he expected to be the aggressor.
He was wrong.
Natalie shoved the jacket off his shoulders and started to unknot his tie, abandoning the task halfway through to work on his belt, leaving the tie sagging around his neck. Spoiler: nothing else was sagging. A fact Natalie discovered a few seconds later when she unzipped his fly and stuck her hand inside, molding it around August’s cock.
“Oh my God,” she moaned, riding her palm up and down the length of him, making him pulse. Making him grow impossibly thicker. “I know I’m being redundant at this point, but I need you to know you . . .”
He pressed her up against the wall, dragged her mouth into a frantic kiss. I’m kissing my woman. Thank God. “What?” he said, breaking for air. “You need me to know what?”
Her eyes were glassy, dazed. Needy. “You have the best dick,” she whispered. “I mean, I-I was thinking about it on the plane. During a business dinner. If you mass produced a mold of this thing, a lot of people would be less angry.”
“Nah, but it’s just yours, Natalie,” he rumbled, hiking up the hemline of her dress with rough hands, so turned on now he was almost in pain. If she kept talking about how much she loved his cock, he was going to nut right there in her hand. “You don’t really want to share it with anyone else,” he said in between kisses, his hips pumping, pushing his length in and out of her perfectly tight fist. “Do you, babe?”
He tugged her panties down, over her knees, letting them fall to her ankles.
“No,” she gasped, trembling. “Never.”
She looked vulnerable after the admission, so he made his own, something inside him demanding he match her step for step. Emotionally, physically. At all times. “I was preparing myself to live off memories of you for the rest of my life. It was going to kill me.” He knelt down in front of her, drawing her right knee up and settling the arch of her foot on his shoulder. “Can’t believe I get to live off you, instead. Can’t believe you’re letting me live.”
The tenderness in her eyes undid him to the point of dizziness. “There’s no letting here. You’re the best decision I’ve ever made.”
A gruff sound left August, his desperation to be joined with this woman growing to the point of pain. He wanted to lock himself to her emotionally, physically. Any manner available. She was his wife and she’d soaked herself in anticipation of his mouth, his cock. The sense of responsibility to deliver, to give her pleasure and heal both of their wounds, had August surging forward and kissing her mound. Traveling lower. Pushing apart her flesh gently with his tongue and finding that bud, greeting it carefully, then with more vigor as her moans increased in volume and her fingers ripped at the strands of his hair. “August.”
“I know,” he growled into the next lick. “I know you love that.”
He trailed the fingertips of his right hand up her left inner thigh, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. While she was struggling to breathe, he traced the seam of her pussy with his middle finger, then tucked it deep, all while flicking his tongue against her clit. And she just sort of melted back against the wall, her flesh clamping around his knuckle, begging for a second finger. So he gave it to her in one possessive shove, then kept his digits pumping in and out of her while he stood, taking her mouth from above in a starved kiss.
“Against the wall, yeah?” he panted. “Been thinking about that?”
“Yes. Because you’re so strong,” she blurted, immediately shaking her head. “I don’t know why I keep saying these things out loud.”
“Keep doing it.” He lifted her up and pinned her to the wall, pressing their foreheads together and looking her in the eye. “Never hide from me.”
“I won’t,” she breathed, lifting her knees and settling them on his hips. “I . . . can’t.”
Victory and elation and a million other emotions rocked August.
My wife. My wife.
He punched his hips upward and sank deep, groaning into the wall beside her head while she whimpered through her first orgasm. “Left you primed for that one, didn’t I? You love the way I tongue fuck it.”
“Yes.” She continued to gasp and squirm between him and the wall, her thighs shaking around his hips, those golden eyes latched onto his. “More. More of you.”
“As much as you need.” He hooked his arms beneath her knees and started to drive hard. Fast. “As much as I need, too. Going to have you upside down and backward tonight, then carry you all the way back to California where you belong. In our home. With your man.”
“Yes.” She hiccupped, her thighs pressing in tight around his ribs, crying out when he yanked them open wider and increased the pace of his thrusts, boosting her up the wall with each one, her tits bouncing in the neckline of her dress. “Oh my God, it’s so good.”
“Mine is good?” He bit down on the side of her neck. “Crossed the motherfucking country for this tight wife pussy.” The way she clenched at that admission, growing wetter, hotter, around his driving flesh, burned away the last of his leftover self-preservation. There was only her. She was all he needed to survive and the truth of that, his truth, came pouring out. “Fuck it, I’m obsessed with you. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t. Give me the orgasm. Give it to me, princess. Yours. Come on. I fucking need it.”
Natalie speared her fingers into his hair and brought him in for a wild, almost animalistic kiss, eager little sounds coming from her throat. She was close, so close—and then her trembles turned to an earthquake, her lips releasing his to cry out, her body still getting pummeled up against the wall. His grunts turned to growls, his hips slapping upward between her thighs, eagerly experiencing her orgasm along with her. The throb and clench of his wife.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” August’s climax was like reaching land after parachuting at night into the ocean. For a while there, he thought he’d die, and then came the relief. Relief so utterly thorough, his legs almost gave out halfway through, but his body wouldn’t allow him to stop. He drilled her ass to the wall and held, shaking so hard his teeth chattered, muscles screaming from the strain. “Natalie. Christ. Oh Christ . . . I love you. I love you.”
His chest nearly caved in after saying the words, but he couldn’t hold them back, because they belonged to her. He belonged to her, and she should know it. Maybe she wasn’t quite able to say it back just yet. And that was okay. He should expect her to be hesitant after keeping her at a distance. He’d wait forever, for the rest of his life, for those three words from her, if necessary. For now, he should just be grateful she was coming home.
As soon as he’d finished completely, he stumbled on half numb legs to the bed, Natalie safe in his arms, and he lay down, pulling her as close as possible, kissing his way across her hairline. Her warm breath bathed his throat and he wrapped his arms tighter, drawing the duvet around their half-naked bodies as best he could when they were on top of the covers. “August, I don’t think you realize what it means to me that you came all the way here,” she said softly. “I don’t think you realize how valued and important that made me feel. Thank you.”
It took him a moment to swallow the sideways pencil in his throat. “You’re the most important person in my life, Natalie. You always will be.”
Her fingertips were busy for a moment in his chest hair, before they stilled and she exhaled slowly. “The day you rescued Teri Frasier and her kids from the flood . . . that’s when I realized I was in love with you, but when you walked in tonight, I . . . you felt like my husband. You were my real husband for the first time, and I loved you so much. I love you so much—”
“Oh my God.” August’s body moved on its own, tackling her into the pillows, covering her entire body with his. Holding her down as if to trap the words before they fluttered away. His heart was no longer beating in his chest. It was up in the clouds somewhere. There was a strong likelihood he was crushing her and wouldn’t that be ironic? Woman admits to loving man, is immediately smothered to death. But he wasn’t in control of his own body. It was fucking shaking, he was so humbled and grateful and in love. So in love he didn’t know how one body, even his big-ass one, could carry it all. “You love me, Natalie?”
“Totally. Completely. I love you, August.”
A warm balm spread across his soul. “We’re going home to run the winery together, okay? It’s ours as well as Sam’s. I’ll do better.”
She captured his face in her hands, her damp eyes looking into his equally moist ones. “I’ll do better, too. You’re not the only one who’s imperfect.”
“Agree to disagree.” He kissed her hard. “Tell me again that I’m your real husband.”
“You’re my real husband,” she breathed, a tear slipping down her cheek. “Now show me.”
When she rolled over and pressed her bare ass into his lap, he needed no further encouragement. He’d show her every single day, for as long as he lived.
Chapter Twenty-Six
The morning after they’d returned from New York, the air tasted sweeter, her chest felt lighter, and she was more optimistic than she’d been in a really long time. Not the desperate, edgy kind of optimism that came with trying to climb the finance world ladder, but . . . a calm sense that she was in the right place. That she might just be enough on her own without having to prove herself over and over again.
While waiting to board their flight at JFK, Natalie had called and explained everything to Claudia and offered to compensate her for all the time she’d spent working on their start-up. Of course, she’d accepted, because smart was smart. Natalie’s loyal friend may have even seemed a little happy that her marriage to August was going to stick. Not that she would ever admit it. Natalie had also left a message with Savage’s assistant letting him know they would no longer require the investment. Unless he fancied putting his money behind a winery with a one-star Yelp rating.
No word back yet.
Julian and Corinne had been waiting in August’s driveway when they pulled up, having been alerted of their arrival back in Napa via text from August. Her mother actually apologized—and meant it, unless Natalie was totally mistaken. Her mother genuinely hadn’t wanted to bother Natalie with business on “her honeymoon” but would be including her in all interactions with VineWatch going forward.
“Not only that, I’ll be grateful for your input,” her mother had said.
Yeah. The air felt different today. Easier to inhale.
Natalie stopped short in front of the production barn.
Even after August’s assurance that no part of the winery was off-limits to her anymore, she still couldn’t bring herself to simply walk inside. Her husband stepped into view inside the barn, waving at her from the dusky interior, a leather apron pulled on over his white T-shirt.
“Morning, princess.”
Warmth trickled through her at the husky familiarity in his voice and she had to force a sip of coffee past the lump in her throat. “Morning.”
He cleaned his hands on a rag a lot longer than seemed necessary, all while looking her over. “I was hoping you could help me out in here today.”
Her fingers flexed around the coffee mug, happiness popping like bubbles below her throat. “You’re sure?”
“Yeah,” he said gruffly, his attention falling to the wine barrels briefly, then shooting back to her eyes. “I need you.”
Natalie shook her head. “You can take some time letting me in, August.”
He looked prepared for that response, because his expression didn’t change one iota. His voice remained even, though the latter seemed to require an effort. “You’re in, Natalie. You’re in deep and that’s where I want you. I can’t do this for Sam by myself. I need you with me. I’ve needed you with me all along.” He paused. “That’s probably why I couldn’t hear him the other day. He was giving me the silent treatment until I pulled my head out of my ass. He’s back now.”
Natalie breathed in and out very carefully, positive too big of an inhale would snap her in half. “I’m so glad, August,” she whispered unevenly. “I’m glad he’s back.”
“I was trying to beat back my guilt for not saving Sam by doing this all myself, but the truth is . . . he never would have wanted that.” He looked around at the interior of the barn, as if seeing it for the first time. “He never would have wanted me to succeed at his dream . . . at the cost of you.” His eyes found their way back to her. “Because you’re my dream. He’d want me to have you as much as he wanted this place. And . . . I’m the one who is still here. He’d tell me to cut the shit, quit feeling guilty, and live this dream with my wife.”
It was hard to find words, let alone the right ones in that moment, so she simply spoke from the heart. “You were lucky to have Sam, August. But he was lucky to have you, too.”
“Thanks.” Clearing his throat, he shoved the rag into his pocket hastily. “Jesus, I can’t believe I ever asked you to stay out now that I want you in here with me so fucking bad, Natalie.”
“Okay, I’m coming,” she said breathlessly, desperate to stop his flow of words before he said something, a final thing that would make her crumble. “Okay.” She cradled her mug against her chest and approached him, her pulse ripping into an unruly rhythm the closer she came to August and his big leather apron. “You don’t have to be so dramatic.”
“I’m completely dramatic over you. Deal with it.”
She slipped past him into the production facility, the fronts of their bodies brushing together and making their breath catch. “If I have to deal with your drama, you have to deal with my speech about the intricacies of a grape.”
“Done.” He followed behind Natalie, leaving her almost no room to breathe. “I’m all ears. And muscles, because obviously. Lay your intricacies on me, princess.”
Natalie stopped in front of the racked barrels, noticing immediately that August had spent the morning filtering the ones she hadn’t had time to do on Friday.
She looked at August to find a serious expression on his face, arms crossed.
He wasn’t just paying her lip service, he was actively following her lead.
“Um . . .” She wet her suddenly dry lips. Why was her pulse going so fast? “Well. The character of a grape depends on a lot of factors. Climate, soil, whether the vines were stressed or understressed, the temperature at which they were picked and stored. I’m sure you’re aware by now of tannins. They provide texture. They give the wine structure.” She glanced back at the equipment behind her that was no longer in use. “You appear to have given the wine a short maceration time at a warmer temperature. That’s a good practice for extracting those tannins. Where you’re going wrong is the fermentation period.”
“The filtration helped,” August said without shifting his attention from her face. “I tasted some and didn’t want to curl up and die. But it still needs a lot of work.”
“Yes. We’ve removed the bacteria and excess yeast. But we need to continue to blend our wine. It hasn’t been given enough oxygen.”
“Sort of symbolic, isn’t it?” He swooped in and kissed the side of her neck, lingering there for a second, wetter one. “The blending of two lives . . .”
“Are you going to be this romantic all the time?” She gasped as his lips moved hotly over her ear. “Or is it all the bacteria talk getting you worked up?”
“I’m going to give you all the romance you can stand, Natalie queen princess Cates.” His smile was flirtatious against her mouth. “But mainly, it’s all the ‘our wine’ and ‘we need to continue to blend’ talk. It makes us sound like a team.”
“That’s what we are,” she whispered, her emotions vibrating like a tuning fork. “Isn’t it?”
“No, Natalie. Like I told you . . .” His forehead dropped to hers. “We’re the dream team.”
She smiled on the heels of their kiss. “I think you just named our first vintage.”
“First of many.”
* * *
A handful of days later, on the way home from buying August socks without holes—seriously, he didn’t own a single intact pair—Natalie had the craziest urge to pull over and buy flowers, too. The shopping trip was quite a departure from her usual routine of popping into one of St. Helena’s many wine stores around four P.M. for a bottle—and backup bottle—of Cabernet. Who was this person she was slowly turning into? She hadn’t even blow-dried her hair this morning, she’d just showered and let it dry in haphazard waves, because she couldn’t wait to meet August in the facility, where he was already up and working.
Each morning, while she drank her coffee, she watched him from the window of the house, smiling into every sip as he continually glanced over his shoulder, waiting for her to come join him. Visibly eager to have his partner in crime out in the barn at his side. She’d gladly given up her blow-drying time in the mornings just to watch it. Observe how much he wanted her company. How much he wanted her around, all the time.
Now, Natalie pulled onto the dusty shoulder, parked, and got out. She had groceries in the back of the car so August could make them dinner tonight, because some things would never change. She wasn’t going to become a chef, in addition to becoming a vintner. There was only one cook in the family, as evidenced by her pitiful attempt at eggs yesterday. Genius move, marrying a man who was accustomed to surviving on field rations—he’d choked them down without blinking and appeared only mildly seasick afterward.
On her way to the flower stand, her heart swelled so much that her entire chest felt like a struck funny bone. The gooey sensation melted down into her fingertips and tingled there. And she walked faster, wanting to get home.
Something inside her was healing at a rapid rate, not only because of this love stampede that had totally trampled her beneath its hooves. But because she’d pushed for exactly what she needed and deserved. She’d accepted nothing less and the reward . . .
It reminded her of the wild blooms that burst from all corners of the road-side stand. Colorful. Beautiful. Every time she looked at one of the bouquets, she saw something new, something different. She’d spent a long time on one side of a wall, with her fear of rejection, and August had been behind a different one. They couldn’t see each other until they’d both climbed over and met in the middle. In a sea of flowers.
Or grapes, as it were.
“What’ll it be? The roses or the lilies?”
Natalie’s head came up, a puzzled expression on her face. She hadn’t narrowed it down to two options yet. Was the flower vendor speaking to her?
A gentleman she hadn’t noticed before had approached from the opposite end of the shoulder. Wait . . . she recognized the man. It was August’s CO. Commander Zelnick. What was he doing back in St. Helena?
The commander glanced at Natalie from the corner of his eye and nodded politely, but he obviously didn’t recognize her—and no wonder. Last time she met the man, she’d been in a skirt and blouse with perfectly coiffed hair and makeup. Currently, she was in a loose pair of boyfriend jeans, a tank top, and no bra, with sunburned cheeks, and she looked like she’d just been through a wind tunnel.
She approached the CO slowly, intending to reintroduce herself and ask what had brought him back to St. Helena, but he spoke to the vendor first. “I’m not sure. I met her only once, but I think she’s more the roses type.”
Was it possible . . . he was here to visit August and those flowers were for her? More than possible. It was likely. Who else could this man know in a town where he didn’t reside?
As the flower salesman went about wrapping the roses in paper, Natalie approached, clearing her throat softly. “Excuse me, Commander Zelnick. It’s me. Natalie. August’s wife.” There was no way to stop the smile that spread across her mouth after saying those words, so she simply let it grow and held out her hand for a shake. “I think you’re buying me flowers?”
After a moment of clear confusion, he merely looked chagrined. “I’m sorry.” He shook her hand once, firmly. “I didn’t recognize you.”
I don’t recognize myself these days.
At least all the new, good parts.
Natalie nodded. “I thought as much.” She gestured to her dusty jeans. “We’ve spent some time out working in the vineyard today, cultivating the soil. I ran to the store to grab some ingredients for dinner—more than enough for three. I assume you’re on your way to see August?”
“I am. Have to keep a soldier on his toes.” He accepted the bouquet from the vendor, hesitated, then handed them to her with a slight blush, making her laugh.
“They’re beautiful. Thank you. And you’re right, I’m definitely the roses type.”
“Excellent.” He handed the man behind the counter a twenty and told him to keep the change. “I suppose I’ll see you in a few minutes at Zelnick Cellar. I’m interested to see how August has taken advantage of my investment. Maybe some new equipment, or . . .”
He trailed off, expecting Natalie to jump in with an answer. She didn’t have one.
Investment?
Obviously not picking up on the fact that she was stunned, the man continued on while unearthing his car keys from the pocket of his slacks. “I know it has been only a few weeks, but I’m eager to see what improvements have been made.”
A few weeks.
The commander had given August money? For the vineyard?
They’d been in such a happiness haze since returning from New York, they hadn’t really spoken about the missed appointment with Ingram at the bank. They’d made no move to reschedule. August hadn’t even brought it up. If his commanding officer had given August an investment weeks ago, had he ever needed a bank loan in the first place?
Had he been keeping a secret, too?
Had he even needed to marry her?
“What investment?” she croaked.
* * *
August took the rag out of his back pocket and swiped it across his sweaty brow, a smile curving his lips when he heard a car pull up in front of the house. Honey, I’m home. He’d been begging Natalie to utter that phrase just once and she’d refused, but he’d get it out of her eventually. Maybe tonight. Maybe now.
He stripped off his shirt.
Went to the back door and did a few pull-ups on the doorframe, hoping it would make his muscles pop. His wife was a sucker for these pecs, which was only fair, because he was a sucker for her. The week since returning from New York was not just the happiest of his life, it was the happiest of anyone’s life, and he’d fight whoever disagreed.
As if he could even locate enough irritation inside himself to throw a punch. He was all sunshine and doves below the neck these days. His wife was really his wife. She was happy with him. She actually fucking loved him back, this human work of art. With every passing day, he discovered more about her, too. Her ticklish spots, her very precise routine in the shower that involved around nine different products, all of which smelled like goddamn heaven, the silly voice she used to speak to the cat when she thought he couldn’t hear.
The hopeful way she talked about her family as they continued to reconnect, the intent way she listened, like she couldn’t wait to be his confidant, the way she sometimes just needed a rubber band for her hair. Seriously, he’d started keeping a collection of the little black bands on his wrist, because she could never seem to find one, despite the fact that they were everywhere in the house. Sometimes all he had to do to make her smile was hand her a rubber band so she could put her hair up in one of those crazy knots. The first time it happened, she’d looked at him like he’d just turned his chair around for her on The Voice.
They fought over control of the television remote.
They fought over a lot of things.
She couldn’t cook for shit.
And he loved her with the fire of a thousand suns.
Which made those fights end pretty damn quickly, because his chest started to sting and all he wanted was to make her happy again. It helped that she didn’t like fighting with him anymore, either. She’d grumped at him this morning before her coffee and two minutes later, she’d been crawling onto his lap at the dining room table with apology kisses. Leading to apology sex. His nuts were back in a knot right now, just thinking about how she’d pouted the word sorry against his mouth, straddling him.
Rocking just once on his lap and liquefying his brain.
Was it possible to marry her again? Or did he have to wait a certain number of years to renew their vows?
This phenomenal woman had snuck over barriers he didn’t even know existed inside him. She’d started helping him bring Sam’s dream to life . . . and slowly it was becoming their dream, too. Yeah, it was becoming theirs, and that was more than okay. It was his life now and he desperately wanted to go on living it forever.
August dropped down from the doorframe after a few more pull-ups, his brow knitting over the arrival of a second car. Who was that?
When he walked out of the barn, the person he needed to see was Natalie—and he did. Briefly. She glanced at him with a strange look on her face as she slipped into the house with a bunch of roses in her arms, shutting the door behind her. What the hell was that?
He started after her, stopping short when his CO climbed out of the second car.
“Cates.”
As always, his spine snapped straight at the sound of his commanding officer’s voice, but his mind didn’t follow. Not this time. Something was up with his wife. Why was his neck tingling like danger was imminent?
Commander Zelnick approached with his hands clasped behind his back. “I don’t mean to keep surprising you like this, Cates, but I never know when I’m going to get enough free time to drive up from Coronado.” He nodded at the barn. “I trust things are on their way to improving.”
“Yes, sir,” he said automatically—and it was the truth—but a hundred-pound weight had dropped in his stomach and something was prodding the edges of his consciousness. “Sir, would you mind waiting here a moment while I figure out my wife?”
He didn’t mean it to sound ridiculous, but his mouth wasn’t connecting with his brain. She’d stopped to buy flowers? For their house? Why did that make him feel like there was a potato sack race happening inside his chest? And why hadn’t she smiled at him?
Was something wrong?
Yes. Something is wrong.
He’d been avoiding thinking about it during their week of bliss, but with the appearance of his commanding officer, the monumental thing he’d been keeping from Natalie jumped up and dug its teeth into his jugular. Every time he thought he had gathered enough courage to tell her about the investment, he recalled the way her father and ex-fiancé had manipulated her with the contents of their bank accounts. Or her trust fund. Not to mention, the investor she’d met with in New York. How she resented their refusal to be straightforward about money.
A little longer, he kept thinking. I’ll tell her about the investment once some time has passed since my last fuckup. Really, it had been just over a week since he’d sent her running to the other side of the country. They were so happy. He’d just wanted more things about their marriage in the pro column before he added deceptive about money to the con side.
“Of course, go greet your wife,” the CO answered, laughing. “Didn’t recognize her at the flower stand. She looks different. Good different. Happier.”
“Thank you,” August managed, pulse rollicking. “Did you . . . you didn’t mention the investment, did you? I haven’t told her yet.”
The man only looked confused. “Why not?”
“It’s complicated.” August sort of just doubled over, catching himself with hands on his knees, releasing an unsteady exhale. “You did tell her. She knows.”
“It came up, yes.”
“Oh fuck.”
“Cates?”
“Sorry. Oh fuck, sir.”
This was bad. This was very bad.
His spleen was seconds from erupting, and he didn’t even know where his spleen was located. Or its function.
Fix it. Fix it now.
“I need some time with Natalie, sir,” he said, winded. “If you hear glass breaking or doors slamming, don’t worry, that’s normal around here.”
“Should I come back later?”
August took a deep breath on his journey toward the house. “That’s probably a good idea, sir.”
With a brisk nod, the commanding officer strode to his car, as if a battle awaited.
And it did. The big one.
Why the hell had August kept this from her for so long? Didn’t he know better by now?
August paused with his hand on the doorknob, then opened the door carefully, waiting a beat, just in case a plate or frying pan came flying at his head. “Princess?”
No answer.
Shit. I’m screwed.
Silent treatment from Natalie was so much worse than arguing, because he didn’t get to hear her voice and it meant her feelings were injured. Utter torture.
“Natalie,” he said, easing himself inside the house, “I’m sorry. I was going to . . .”
August stopped short just inside the door, because a sight greeted him that he wasn’t expecting. Natalie was standing in the middle of the kitchen, wringing her hands. She appeared to be . . . nervous? Why?
Did people get nervous before they asked for a divorce?
Probably.
Acid flooded his organs, so thick he could taste it in his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice in tatters. “I was going to tell you, but we’re so happy and I didn’t want you to lump me in with your father and Morrison and Savage. Listen to me, it’s not what you think. Yes, I accepted an investment from Sam’s father. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want your help with the bank loan. I wasn’t rejecting you, the way I did with making our wine. That wasn’t it at all, Natalie. I just wanted . . .” He strode forward and took her shoulders, stooping down enough to put them at eye level, alarmed beyond words to find hers full of tears. Christ oh Christ. I swore I would never make her cry again. “I wanted you to get your trust fund. Because you needed it and I love you. I wasn’t sure you would marry me if the deal was one-sided. I married you because the first time we met, you took my heart home with you in a doggy bag and never gave it back. I never want it back.” He was talking in circles. Get it together. “Keeping this secret wasn’t about pride. Or about making the winery a success on my own. I just wanted to do something important for the woman who is my reason for getting out of bed in the morning. It was all out of love. Nothing else.”
Several seconds passed in silence.
Then, to his surprise, she nodded.
“I have to tell you something, too,” she whispered, trembling in his hands in a way that was causing him acute distress. “Oh God, August . . .”
“What is it? We can handle anything.”
She sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “The day of the wedding, my father called and offered to release my trust fund.” She searched his eyes as the tears began to drip from her own. “I said no. Not because of my pride, either, but . . . because I wanted to marry you. I couldn’t put a name to how I felt about you at the time, but . . .” She swiped at her eyes, a sob sneaking out. “I loved you—I know that now. I know it so deeply.”
A rush of unimaginable happiness blew in and knocked him off his feet.
“Sorry, hold on.” August fell sideways into one of the dining room chairs, the piece of furniture skidding loudly under the sudden influx of weight. “I can’t breathe.”
Natalie knelt down in front of him, fingers rushing over him, as if to check for an injury. When she didn’t find one, she clasped his face in her hands. “August.”
“I’m here. I just can’t tell if I want to cry or throw up.”
“Don’t do either of those things.”
“Gotcha.” He took her face in his hands, too, marveling. Fucking marveling over this woman. He probably would still be reeling from the unexpected gift of her confession a hundred years from now. And as long as she was there to hold him, that would be quite all right.
Appearing dazed, she shook her head. “So, technically, we didn’t have to get married. We just . . . wanted to?”
“Incorrect. I had to marry you.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I know that I love you,” he rasped, kissing her hard, memorizing his wife’s tear-stained face and the affection radiating from her. “I know that no matter how it happened, it was right. I can’t breathe for loving you and loving you is the only way I can breathe.”
She shot off the floor into his lap, where she belonged, planting kisses all over his face, which he was all too happy to sit back and receive, his mind still struggling to play catch-up. God, if you’re listening, please, please give me a century just like this. “I love you just as much, August Cates,” she said, finally, against his lips. “Despite the fights. Maybe even because of them. Because there is no one more worthy of battling for.”
His wife, the love of his life, kissed him with tears in her eyes.
And at last the world made sense.
Epilogue
Eight years later
Over the course of eight years of marriage, Natalie had seen August mad plenty of times. They’d always been, and continued to be, hot-tempered individuals and they ran a successful winery together. Of course they argued. The beauty was in the forgiveness—and they did forgiveness really well. Whether they fought over temperature management of the wine or planting strategy, they didn’t stay mad long. One of them usually caved after five minutes of silent treatment. And she meant “caved” in the literal sense, because the wine cave was usually where they ended up engaging in frenzied apologies out of earshot of their employees.
Yes, she’d seen August plenty mad. But never so mad as today, when he found out their daughter’s dance partner hadn’t shown up for a recital.
“They’ve been practicing for five months and he doesn’t show up for the recital?” August started to pace, a handful of fingers shoving through his wind-blown hair, which now contained a dusting of gray at the temples. “How is she? Is she . . .” He waved his hands in a giant X. “Princess, don’t tell me she’s crying.”
They were outside the school auditorium in a huge group. Natalie, August, Hallie, Julian, Corinne, and her new husband. August’s parents were there, too, having flown in from Kansas for the big night. Truth be told, it was hard to keep August’s parents out of Napa. They’d discovered a late-in-life passion for Cabernet and were now the proud owners of summer linens and straw hats, fitting in seamlessly with the locals. August’s mother referred to her stylish new attire as her “wine pants,” and Natalie adored the woman to no end. After all, she’d raised the love of Natalie’s life. A man who’d taken to parenting like he was born to be a girl dad.
Which was a very good thing, because they had three.
Parker, the oldest at seven. Parks for short.
Elle, the youngest, at two.
Both were currently home with a babysitter—the same home where August had carried Natalie over the threshold. They’d simply kept adding on rooms.
The cat was still punishing them.
Samantha, their middle girl, was a very serious five and a half—and tonight was her jazz recital. Her older sister, Parker, played sports. August dedicated a lot of time to coaching her teams. When Samantha had expressed an interest in dance, he was very adamant that he give the same level of attention to his middle daughter’s interests, so she wouldn’t feel slighted. He might have stopped shy of teaching the dance class, but he’d asked so many questions at rehearsals that the teacher eventually started ignoring his raised hand.
“Naturally, she is a little upset, but we had some cookies and juice with the instructor, so she’s gotten her courage back,” Natalie said, laying a hand on August’s arm and drawing him close. “She’s okay. It’s not ideal, but she can still do the dance without her partner.”
“There’s a dip during the second transition, Natalie.” August looked at her long and hard. “She can’t dip herself.”
Her heart crawled up into her throat. “You know, she’s going to get through this. It’s going to be a good lesson. Life gives us lemons sometimes—”
“No one gives my girls lemons,” he said, visibly offended. “That goes double for my wife,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. “No one better be giving you any lemons.”
“No one is giving me lemons.”
Her mouth seemed to be distracting him from the problem at hand. “You look insane tonight, you know that, right?” he said in a lowered voice, his gaze traveling down the front of her burgundy silk wrap dress, his right hand lifting to squeeze her hip. “I was going to tell you when we arrived, but you sprung this whole missing partner on me. Damn, look at your legs. I could literally eat you alive.”
“Seeing as though our entire families are here,” she whispered, gesturing for him to keep his own voice down, “. . . that might have to wait until later.”
“You read my mind. Cave date tonight?”
“We might as well put a bed down there at this point.”
“Smart and hot.” He pressed his lips to the center of her forehead, his arms wrapping around her in a bear hug. “How’d I get this lucky?”
She took a deep inhale of his grapefruit scent and for a moment, there was nothing and no one but the two of them. This man whom she’d married under the guise of a marriage of convenience, but whom she’d been in love with all along. This man who’d become her best friend, business partner, biggest supporter, and co-parent. They were the best thing to ever happen to each other and neither one of them took it for granted.
Looking back, eight years had gone by at the speed of sound, and yet every moment was so vivid that she could replay them in slow motion. It was almost like living through those cherished memories twice. The evening they’d opened a bottle of their first vintage and it actually tasted decent? August had put Natalie on his back and run through the vineyard while she was still holding the open container. They were covered in wine by the time they collapsed and made love under the moon, the scent of grapes and earth filling her nose. Two years of hard work later, their wine had started pouring better than decent, and it was good timing, because she’d just found out she was pregnant with Samantha.
Funny, she’d never envisioned herself as a mother. Not until she met someone who reminded her she was fearless. Someone who imbued her with twice her strength, because they were a team. In everything. Made Natalie feel like such a vital part of a family that she started dreaming of expanding it. August’s response to her broaching the subject of having kids?
Princess, I thought you’d never ask.
They didn’t come out of their bedroom for a solid forty-eight hours.
Ten months later, August had passed out from sympathy pains in the delivery room and hit his head on a metal cart, resulting in nineteen stitches.
He still had the scar and claimed it made him even more attractive.
Natalie couldn’t exactly disagree. Who didn’t like a reminder that their husband had enough empathy and love in his heart that he could lose consciousness over it?
That was August. Empathy, love . . . and unconditional support. When she wanted to use her trust fund to buy shares in VineWatch, he’d supported her without question and watched proudly at her side as that investment quadrupled in the space of a year. She’d managed to convince Corinne and Julian to do the same, their faith in her healing a deep-down wound that had been lurking since childhood. The Vos family had definitely grown closer since then. Family dinners were messier, thanks to their girls. Julian and Hallie were also parents to a beautiful set of five-year-old twin boys. One of them was very serious and had a deep obsession with sharks. The other was wild to the bone and had once been found hanging from the dining room chandelier at Corinne’s.
One day in the not-too-distant future, these cousins were going to paint St. Helena red.
For now, they had a dance recital crisis.
“Do you think I should go talk to her?” August asked now as he smoothed Natalie’s hair. “Or am I going to make it worse?”
“You only make everything better,” she said automatically.
He dipped his head on a smile that was almost bashful. “You doing that thing where you rewind the past and get all sentimental on me?”
She pressed her lips together tightly and nodded. “Maybe.”
Slowly, his smile gave way to a serious expression. “If I had one wish, it would be to slow down my time with you, Natalie. A hundred years won’t be enough.”
If they kept this up, she was either going to swoon or cry in front of their entire family. With a big inhale, she straightened the collar of his dress shirt. “Go talk to Samantha. She needs you.”
He studied her face for a long moment, as if memorizing every feature, before striding away. Natalie didn’t know what made her follow. Maybe she wanted to provide parental backup if the waterworks started again. Or maybe she just wanted to witness a moment between August and their middle daughter. But for whatever reason, she crept in his wake toward the stage entrance and peeked in through the crack of the door.
There was Samantha, the spitting image of Natalie at that age, sitting on August’s knee in her emerald green sequined dress and matching mini top hat. As Natalie had feared, her lower lip was trembling again. As strong as her impulse was to enter the room and comfort her baby, Natalie remained in place. August had this.
“You know what?” Natalie’s husband gave an exaggerated look over both shoulders. “That kid always had snot in his nose, anyway.”
Samantha giggle-sniffed.
“They’ll say he has chicken pox, but we know the truth. He couldn’t keep up with you.”
“No,” said their daughter, always logical. “He could. It’s prolly just chicken pox.”
“If you say so,” August said skeptically. “Here’s what I know. I’m going to be sitting in the audience thinking about how brave you are. All of us will. You’re so brave, Samantha. Just like your mom. Remember that story I told you about her winning over that meanie in a suit in New York?”
“Yeah.”
“And the one about her marrying a big doofus so she could follow her dreams?”
Samantha gasped. “You’re not a big doofus.”
“I was. Still am sometimes. It’s a good thing you girls love me anyway.
“Remember when we were cleaning out the wine cave and a bat flew out. I screamed, but your mom didn’t even flinch. You get your bravery from her.”
Their daughter was quiet for a long moment, her tiny throat muscles starting to strain. “Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Do I have to be brave alone?”
“Hell no, you don’t,” said Natalie’s husband, no hesitation.
And that’s how August ended up dancing as Samantha’s partner in the recital, with a miniature green, sequined top hat pinned to his head, every move executed flawlessly. Yet another memory that Natalie would replay again and again for the rest of their lives.
Acknowledgments
When I sat down to write this enemies-to-lovers book, I asked myself, “What is the one thing I need to feel satisfied after a book about two people feuding? What is going to make me feel better after the harshly spoken words?” The answer came to me right away. I need irrefutable proof that the hero has loved the heroine all along. I hope you’ll agree that is exactly what we have here. August and Natalie are some of my favorite characters I’ve ever written—please enjoy them and their stubborn with a side of vulnerable ways.
Thank you so much to everyone who worked on this beloved book of mine, with a special thanks to my incredible editor, Nicole Fischer, who never fails to help a story sparkle. Thank you, as well, to Daniel H. who let me ask him questions about finance. I still can’t do math.
And as always, thank you to the best READERS on earth. Your tits look insane.
Love,
Tessa
About the Author
#1 New York Times bestselling author TESSA BAILEY can solve all problems except for her own, so she focuses those efforts on stubborn, fictional blue-collar men and loyal, lovable heroines. She lives on Long Island, avoiding the sun and social interactions, then wonders why no one has called. Dubbed the “Michelangelo of dirty talk” by Entertainment Weekly, Tessa writes with spice, spirit, swoon, and a guaranteed happily ever after. Catch her on TikTok @authortessabailey or check out tessabailey.com for a complete list of her books.
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Announcement
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Wreck the Halls
A fun, sexy Christmas romance coming Fall 2023
By Tessa Bailey
Secretly Yours
Unfortunately Yours
Bellinger Sisters
It Happened One Summer
Hook, Line, and Sinker
Hot & Hammered
Fix Her Up
Love Her or Lose Her
Tools of Engagement
The Academy
Disorderly Conduct
Indecent Exposure
Disturbing His Peace
Broke and Beautiful
Chase Me
Need Me
Make Me
Romancing the Clarksons
Too Hot to Handle
Too Wild to Tame
Too Hard to Forget
Too Beautiful to Break
Made in Jersey
Crashed Out
Rough Rhythm
Thrown Down
Worked Up
Wound Tight
Crossing the Line
Risking It All
Up in Smoke
Boiling Point
Raw Redemption
Line of Duty
Protecting What’s His
Protecting What’s Theirs (novella)
His Risk to Take
Officer Off Limits
Asking for Trouble
Staking His Claim
Serve
Owned by Fate
Exposed by Fate
Driven by Fate
Beach Kingdom
Mouth to Mouth
Heat Stroke
Sink or Swim
Standalone Books
Unfixable
Baiting the Maid of Honor
Off Base
Captivated
Getaway Girl
Runaway Girl
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
UNFORTUNATELY YOURS. Copyright © 2023 by Tessa Bailey. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
FIRST EDITION
Cat with bow tie illustration © lexlinx / Shutterstock
Cover illustration by Monika Roe
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.
Digital Edition JUNE 2023 ISBN: 978-0-06-323904-3
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-323903-6
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