CHAPTER 16
Maria
Colin had been quiet since he’d picked her up, which made Maria nervous, given what he’d been up to for most of the day. Though he volunteered nothing, she knew he was thinking about the flowers. As she watched him respond to her small talk with a distracted air, she felt a pit growing in her stomach. By the time they pulled into the restaurant’s parking lot, she couldn’t contain herself any longer.
“Who sent the roses?”
He shut off the engine and told her what he’d learned.
She frowned, thinking about it. “If it wasn’t Ken, and you don’t think Ken hired him, then who is it?”
“I don’t know.”
She turned toward the passenger window. Beyond the glass, she watched an older couple walking into the restaurant, all smiles. Without a care in the world.
“I saw Ken again yesterday when I was meeting with Barney,” she said in a wavering voice. “Other than the fact that he was acting a little distracted, he was completely professional. In fact, he barely seemed to notice me at all. It almost makes me think…”
That it’s not Ken. She could tell by Colin’s silence that he’d been able to complete her thought.
“Let’s try not to worry about it tonight, okay?” he said.
She nodded, feeling the tension in her shoulders. “I’ll try. It’s hard not to.”
“I know,” he said. “But you should probably take a moment to prepare yourself for Lily. I adore her, but she does take some getting used to.”
Maria forced a smile. “That’s a backhanded compliment, you know.”
“Guess who I learned it from?”
It took Maria only a second after entering the restaurant to identify Lily. Almost as soon as she and Colin had stepped through the door, a perfectly coiffed, ravishing blonde with eyes the color of turquoise glided toward them. She wore a stylish midlength dress and a strand of pearls. Practically every man in the restaurant turned to watch her pass. Evan, who was dressed preppy stylish and could have passed for someone still in college, trailed in her wake. Maria noticed his air of breezy confidence; he was clearly comfortable allowing Lily the limelight.
Lily’s smile never faltered, and as soon as she got close, she took Maria’s hands in her own. They were remarkably soft, like a silky baby blanket. “It is an absolute delight for me to have the pleasure of your company this evening! Colin has said so many wonderful things about you.” By then, Evan had reached her side. “And oh, dear! Where are my manners? I’m Lily, and this handsome man beside me is my fiancé, Evan. It’s so wonderful to meet you, Maria!”
“Hi there,” Evan said with genuine warmth. “And please don’t be offended if Lily doesn’t let me get a word in the rest of the evening.”
“Hush now, Evan,” Lily scolded. “There’s no reason to give our new friend the wrong impression about me.” She returned her gaze to Maria. “Please try to forgive him. He’s as sweet as can be and more intelligent than he lets on, but he went to State and he was in a fraternity. You know what that means.”
“At least my university was coed,” Evan countered.
“And as I’ve assured him repeatedly,” she responded, nudging Maria, “I will never hold that flaw against him.”
Despite herself, Maria smiled. “It’s nice to meet you both.”
Still holding Maria’s hands, Lily turned to Colin. “Colin, you must admit that you weren’t being fair to Maria at all when you told me about her! She’s absolutely breathtaking!” Then back to Maria: “It’s no wonder that you’ve been all that Colin has been able to think about lately. You must know that you’ve been the topic of discussion every time we’ve spoken in recent weeks, and I can certainly understand why.” Letting go of Maria’s hands, she kissed Colin on the cheek. “You’re very handsome this evening. Did I buy you that shirt?”
“Thank you,” Colin said. “And yes, you did.”
“And that’s a good thing, don’t you agree? If I wasn’t around, you’d probably be wearing one of those awful T-shirts with slogans on them.”
“I like those shirts.”
She patted his arm. “I know you do, bless your heart. Now, shall we head to the table? I’ve been on pins and needles all day and I want to know absolutely everything about the woman who already has you wrapped around her little finger.”
“I’m not sure that’s quite true,” Maria protested.
“As true as due north. Colin—despite his stoic demeanor—is actually quite expressive in his emotions once you’re familiar with them. Now, shall we?”
When she turned for the table, Colin shrugged at Maria, as if to say I told you so. While Maria had become acquainted with the Southern belle debutante phenomenon among the sorority girls at Chapel Hill, Colin was right: Lily took it to a whole new level. Maria initially assumed it to be partially an act, but as they settled into wide-ranging conversation over dinner, she gradually changed her mind. What was interesting was that as much as Lily could talk—and the girl could talk about anything—she could also draw out information simply by the way she listened. She had a way of leaning forward slightly and nodding when appropriate; making noises of empathy or sympathy, followed by probing questions. Maria never once had the sense that Lily was trying to think of the next thing she wanted to say while Maria was still talking, and to her surprise she even found herself telling Lily and Evan about the delivery of the roses and its aftermath. At that, the table went quiet, and Lily impulsively covered Maria’s hand with her own.
Later, while the two women were freshening up in the restroom after dinner, Maria caught Lily’s reflection in the mirror.
“I feel like I did most of the talking,” Maria said. “I’m sorry about that.”
“There is absolutely no reason to apologize. You have a lot going on in your life right now, and I’m flattered by your trust in us.”
Maria added some lipstick before her voice softened. “You weren’t surprised by what Colin did, were you? With the photo and tracking down where the roses came from?”
“No,” Lily answered. “That’s who he is. When he loves someone, he’ll do anything for them.”
“It feels like half the time, I’m still trying to figure him out.”
“I’m not surprised,” Lily said. “At the same time, since you were so honest with Evan and me, you must know that prior to dinner, my loyalties lay completely with Colin. I wanted to meet you so I could make sure that you were everything he said you were.”
“You really care about him.”
“I love him like a brother,” Lily admitted. “He’s very important to me. And I know what you’re probably thinking. We couldn’t be more different, and I didn’t understand what Evan saw in him at first, either. All those tattoos and muscles and all the violence in his past…” Lily shook her head. “I must have visited Evan four or five times before I ever said a word to Colin, and when I finally did, the first thing that came out of my mouth was that I thought he should find a new place to live. And do you know what Colin said to me?”
“‘Okay’?” Maria mimicked, and Lily laughed.
“He does that with you, too? Bless his heart. I have been trying to break that habit to no avail, but lately I’ve come to admit that it suits him. At the time, I do remember being offended. I complained to Evan and he promised to talk to Colin, but only on the condition that I talk to him first. Which of course I refused to do on principle.”
“So who ended up breaking the ice? You or him?”
“Colin did. I’d purchased Evan a television for his birthday around that time, and it was in the trunk. Colin happened to come across me struggling with the box. He immediately offered to help. He brought it in and asked if I wanted to have it mounted or left in the box. Which was something I hadn’t thought about. I told him that Evan would do it, but he sort of laughed and said that Evan wouldn’t know how to do such a thing. The next thing I knew, he was on his way to the hardware store, and twenty minutes later, he was mounting it on the wall. He’d also picked up a big ribbon and bow, and it was that, more than anything, that made me wonder whether there was something about him that was worth getting to know. So we talked. It took about thirty seconds of asking him questions before I realized that he wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met before.”
“Colin said you recommended that he go back to college. And that you helped him with his studies.”
“Someone had to. The poor man hadn’t cracked a book in years. But he made it easy, because once he’d decided to go back, he was determined to do his best. And he’s intelligent. Despite having moved from school to school, he must have picked up something along the way.”
“And he’s Evan’s best man?”
Lily pulled a tissue from her purse and dabbed at her lipstick as she nodded. “Yes. Of course, my parents are absolutely aghast at the idea. As far as they know, he’s Evan’s friend, not mine, and they continually hint that I should keep my distance. The first time my daddy saw Colin, he actually flinched, and my mama has gone so far as to suggest that he shouldn’t even be invited to the wedding, let alone be the best man. Even when I tell them that he’s my friend, too, they pretend they didn’t hear me say it. They are rooted in their ways and I will always be their precious child, bless their hearts.”
“My mom and dad weren’t too thrilled with Colin, either.”
“It’s understandable. But unlike my parents, I’ll bet yours will give him a chance and eventually change their minds. I did, after all. Even now, I sometimes have trouble understanding it. In all candor, Colin and I don’t have much in common.”
“I’d have to agree.”
Lily smiled, straightening her pearls before turning to Maria. “Still, there’s something about that heartfelt honesty of his, coupled with not giving a damn about what other people think about him, that just gets to me.”
Maria couldn’t help smiling in agreement.
“You must believe me when I tell you,” Lily added, “that he’s much less rough around the edges than when I first met him. It’s been an extraordinary effort on my part.” She winked. “But there’s no reason to thank me. You ready? I’m sure the lads are already pining for us.”
“I don’t think Colin pines.”
“He’s pining,” she said. “He might not admit it, but he is.”
“I wasn’t pining,” Colin said on the way to his car. Up ahead, Lily was walking with Evan toward his Prius. “I was talking to Evan about my fight.”
“The one in Myrtle Beach?”
“No. The one next weekend.”
“What fight?”
Colin filled her in, then added, “Evan will be coming. You should come, too.”
“Will Lily come?”
“No,” Colin said. “Fighting’s not really Lily’s thing.”
“I’m surprised it’s Evan’s thing.”
“He always goes to my fights. He enjoys them.”
“Really? He doesn’t seem the type.”
“And what type is that?”
“People who resemble you,” Maria teased. “Big muscles and tattoos, but mainly people who don’t look like they’ll faint at the first sign of blood.”
He smiled. “Do you want to come?”
“Sure. But the same rule applies. You can’t get too beat up or it’ll bring back memories of the first night we met.”
“Okay.”
“You say that now, but the way you talked about Johnny Reese, you might not be able to guarantee it.”
“No guarantees,” he conceded. “What did you and Lily talk about when you were in the bathroom?”
“Mainly we talked about you.”
“Okay.”
“No follow-up questions?”
“No.”
“How can you not be interested in what we said?”
“Because that was between you and Lily. It’s not my business. And besides, it couldn’t have been too bad, or you wouldn’t still be holding my hand.”
“So what kind of club are we going to?”
“All I know is that it plays eighties music. That’s one of Lily’s quirks. Evan told me that listening to Madonna was the way she rebelled when she was a teenager.”
“Huh. Not much of a rebellion…”
“Not to you or me. But to Lily’s parents? I’m sure they wrung their hands for years. They don’t like me much.”
“Maybe you should invite them to a fight,” she said. “That’ll probably change their minds.” She heard him laugh as he opened her door, the sound continuing as he rounded the car to the driver’s side.
Despite the blaring sound of REO Speedwagon, the scene at the club wasn’t at all what she expected. Instead of divorced women and balding men in their forties trying to relive their youth, the club was populated primarily by students from the university; Maria half expected to spot Serena with her friends. Groups of college girls were dancing in clusters, singing or lip-syncing to the music.
Colin leaned closer to her ear. “What do you think?”
“I feel old,” she admitted. “But I like the music.”
Evan pointed toward the bar, and Colin nodded before reaching for her hand, maneuvering her around tables and groups of people to the thronged bar area. When they were finally able to get the bartender’s attention, Colin ordered water—no surprise there—Evan ordered a beer, and both Maria and Lily ordered sea breezes. Halfway through their drinks, a song by Madonna started to play and a delighted Lily clapped before leading Evan to the floor. Suddenly thinking, Oh, what the hell?, Maria grabbed Colin’s hand and they followed.
The evening sped by as they danced to sets of three or four songs in a row, stopping only for the occasional break. Maria ordered a second sea breeze, and though she hadn’t finished the first, she felt giddy and flushed. For the first time in a week, she’d actually been able to enjoy herself.
At half past eleven, they were able to commandeer a small table for the first time. They were taking a break and debating how much longer to stay when a young cocktail waitress appeared holding a tray of drinks. She placed another sea breeze in front of Maria.
Maria waved it off. “I didn’t order this.”
“Your friend ordered it,” the waitress explained, straining to be heard above the music.
Maria shot Colin a quizzical look. “You ordered another drink?”
When he shook his head, she turned to Evan, who seemed as surprised as Colin. Lily also appeared confused.
“Who ordered it?” Maria asked.
“Your friend from the bar,” the waitress said, turning her head in that direction. “The one in the baseball cap.” She leaned in. “He told me to tell you that he was upset that you didn’t like the roses he sent you.”
Maria gasped; a split second later, she saw a sudden movement as Colin jumped up from the table, causing his chair to tip over. In the moments that followed, Maria was only able to register a series of images, like snapshots caught in a strobe light:
Colin taking two steps toward the waitress, his jaw beginning to clench… closing in so quickly that she dropped the tray of cocktails…
Evan and Lily getting up from the table, their drinks sloshing over them…
Bar patrons turning their way at the commotion…
Colin demanding that the cocktail waitress tell him exactly who it was at the bar, ferociously angry, repeating the question…
The waitress backing away, terrified…
Bouncers beginning to move toward them…
Evan taking a step toward Colin, his hands raised…
Maria was frozen, rooted to her seat, the waitress’s words ringing in her ear. Baseball cap… He was upset you didn’t like the roses…
He was here. He’d followed her. He’d been following her all along…
It was hard for her to breathe, a waterfall of images, the world collapsing inward.
Bouncers pushing through the crowd, moving with frightening speed…
Colin shouting, demanding to know more about the man who’d ordered the drink…
The waitress backing away, beginning to cry…
Bystanders beginning to surround them…
Evan pushing forward and grabbing Colin’s arm…
Lily moving toward Maria…
Maria felt someone place both hands on her shoulders and begin helping her from her seat. She didn’t have the energy to resist, and all at once, she realized that Lily had been the one to whisk her to her feet. She could hear Colin shouting, even as Evan continued to tug hard at Colin’s arm, the waitress crying out in terror, strangers circling, with bouncers close behind.
Stranger in blue shirt: “What the hell’s going on?”
Colin, to the waitress: “What did he look like?”
Stranger with spiked hair: “Chill out! Leave her alone!”
Waitress, through her tears: “I told you that I don’t know! He was wearing a hat! I don’t know!”
Stranger with tattoos: “What the hell’s wrong with you?”
Evan: “We gotta go!”
Colin: “Was he young or old?”
Waitress: “I don’t know! Twenties or thirties? I don’t know!”
Evan: “Now, Colin! Come on!”
By then, Lily was leading Maria quickly from the table, and out of the corner of her eye, Maria saw Evan jerk Colin off balance. Colin reacted instinctively, twisting free immediately and quickly regaining his equilibrium, his hands ducking into fighting position. His face was red and tense, the muscles in his neck taut; for an instant, he seemed not to recognize Evan.
“Colin! No!” Lily screamed. Evan took a step backward, and as quickly as it had erupted, Colin’s rage began to dissipate.
By then, the bouncers had reached them, and as Maria watched, Colin slipped his hands behind his back, clasping his left wrist with his right hand. A bouncer grabbed both his arms, looking as angry and adrenaline-filled as Colin had been a moment earlier.
“I’ll go with you,” Colin said. “I’ll go.” Then, to the waitress, who was still crying, he said, “I apologize. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
But neither the waitress nor the bouncers cared; Colin was dragged outside and it was only a few minutes later that a squad car arrived, blue lights flashing. Shortly thereafter, a dark sedan pulled up.
“Who’s that?” Maria asked, standing with Evan out front, arms crossed. Lily had gone back into the club a few minutes earlier. In the parking lot, Colin stood with two officers, one of the bouncers, and a man in a well-used sport coat who was chewing on a toothpick.
Evan’s tone betrayed his concern. “Detective Margolis. He’s been waiting for Colin to screw up again.”
“Why?”
“Because he thinks Colin should be in prison.”
“Is that going to happen?”
“I don’t know,” Evan said.
“But he didn’t do anything,” Maria protested. “He didn’t even touch her.”
“Thank God, or he’d be cuffed by now. And he still might be, unless Lily can work her magic.”
“What’s she doing?”
“Solving the problem,” Evan answered. “That’s what Lily does.”
In time, Lily emerged through the front doors, stopping to shake hands with one of the bouncers who had dragged Colin out. She smiled ingenuously as she approached the officers.
Maria watched as Margolis caught sight of her and held up his hand to stop her. Lily ignored him, pressing on until she was close enough to be heard, and for an interminable few minutes, both Evan and Maria watched, wondering what Lily could possibly be saying to him. Eventually, one of the officers followed the bouncer back inside the club while Margolis and the other officer remained with Colin. Margolis was obviously furious, but still no move was made to cuff Colin. The events of the last half hour caused Maria’s thoughts to ping-pong, wreaking havoc on her emotions. She’d been followed to the bar, which meant she’d been followed from the restaurant, which meant she’d been followed from home.
He knew where she lived and he’d followed her here.
Her breath caught, and she distantly registered Evan’s voice.
“Are you okay?”
She squeezed her upper arms. She wanted Colin to hold her, yet she was angry that he’d lost control. Or was she afraid for him? She wasn’t sure.
He knew where she lived and he’d followed her here.
“No,” she admitted, realizing that she was shaking. “I’m not.”
She felt Evan slip an arm around her.
“It’s pretty messed up, that’s for sure. If I were you, I’d be a wreck.”
“What’s going to happen to Colin?”
“He’ll be all right.”
“How do you know?”
“Because Lily looks calm and Margolis looks pissed.”
Maria studied the two of them, realizing that Evan was right. But everything had gone wrong tonight.
A minute later, the officer who’d gone into the club returned to Margolis’s side. They spoke for a couple of minutes before both officers reluctantly headed back to their squad car. By then, Lily was hurrying toward Evan and Maria. Evan let go of Maria to encircle Lily in his arms.
“No charges,” she said. “They’re letting him go.”
“What did you do?” Maria asked.
“I spoke to the waitress and the manager, and I simply told them the truth,” Lily replied. “That you were being stalked, and that Colin overreacted because you’ve been frightened, and Colin thought you might be in danger. They were surprisingly sympathetic. Especially once I gave the waitress an extra-large tip, paid for the drinks that were spilled, and offered the manager a little extra for his trouble.”
Maria stared at her. “You bribed them?”
“I did no such thing. I merely did my best to rectify the situation in a way that satisfied everyone involved. By the time the officer came to speak with them, they were both adamant that no charges be filed. Still, I will admit there was a moment when I wasn’t sure it was going to work again.”
“Again?”
“It isn’t the first time this has happened,” Evan said.
Margolis dogged Colin’s footsteps as Colin approached their group. To others, Colin probably appeared as controlled as he always did, but she noticed something in his expression that hinted at an understanding of how close he’d come to losing it all. He moved to her side as Margolis studied each of their faces. Colin stared back, unfazed, as did Evan and Lily.
“The dynamic duo strikes again,” Margolis sneered. “How much did it cost you this time?”
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about,” Lily lied sweetly, her accent as sultry as ever.
“Of course you don’t,” Margolis said. “I wonder what the manager and the waitress would say if I put them under oath.” He let the comment hang, with all its implications, before finally going on. “But there’s no reason for that, is there? Now that you’ve rescued your good friend Colin again.”
“There was no need to rescue him,” Lily drawled. “He did nothing wrong.”
“That’s funny. Because I recall something like this happening on at least two other occasions when you two were there.”
Lily feigned confusion. “Are you speaking of those other occasions when Colin happened to be out with us and, again, did nothing wrong?”
“Keep telling yourself that. You’re just postponing the inevitable. Colin knows who he is. Just ask him. He’ll tell you.” He turned toward Colin. “Isn’t that right, Colin? Since you like to convince everyone you’re as honest as the day is long?… Even though you’re always on the verge of exploding.”
Maria saw Colin’s eyes narrow as Margolis jerked his head at Evan. “You need to thank Evan here for pulling you away when he did. Had even one of those guys around you touched you, you and I both know that we would suddenly be spending a lot of time together, with you back in the cage and me telling the DA to throw away the key.”
“Colin didn’t touch anyone,” Evan interjected.
Margolis shifted the toothpick to the other side of his mouth. “I was thinking more along the lines of assault. I was told the waitress was terrified by the fact that Colin was screaming at her, and I’ve got a dozen witnesses in there who could vouch for that.”
“He just wanted to know who sent over the drink,” Maria protested.
As soon as Margolis’s eyes met hers, she felt herself flinch. “Oh, that’s right. Because of the so-called stalker, right? I’ll make sure to review the report for you.” Maria said nothing, regretting she’d chimed in.
“Oh, wait. You haven’t filed a report? Have you even talked to a lawyer?”
“She is a lawyer,” Lily said.
“Then it’s even stranger, don’t you think? All lawyers do is file reports.” He turned toward Maria. “I’ll tell you what, though; if you ever do get around to it, ask for me, okay?”
“Leave her out of this,” Colin growled.
“Are you telling me what to do?” Margolis demanded.
“Yes,” Colin said.
“Or what? Are you going to hit me?”
Colin continued to stare at him before reaching for Maria’s hand. “Let’s go,” he said, beginning to walk away, Evan and Lily close behind.
“Go ahead,” Margolis called out from behind them. “I’ll be around.”
“How much do I owe you?” Colin said.
“Let’s worry about that later, okay?” Lily answered.
They’d followed Evan and Lily back to Evan’s place, the four of them congregating on the front porch. It had been a quiet ride, Maria’s thoughts too fragmented for conversation, and Colin in no mood to break the silence. Even now, Maria felt like an observer to her own life.
“What the hell were you doing tonight?” Evan demanded. “We’ve talked about this! And Margolis is right! What would have happened if Lily and I hadn’t been there?”
“I don’t know,” Colin answered.
“You damn well know exactly what would have happened!” Evan ran a hand through his hair. “Why the hell do you keep doing this? You’ve got to learn to control this thing.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t say okay!” Evan shouted. “Like Lily, I’m sick of you saying that all the time, because it’s a cop-out! I thought we’d gotten past this last year, after that guy accidentally spilled his drink on Lily.”
“You’re right,” Colin said evenly. “I made a mistake. I lost control.”
“Gee, really?” Evan spat out. He turned, starting for the front door. “Whatever. You two deal with him for now. I’m done.” The door slammed behind him, leaving the three of them on the porch.
“You know that Evan’s right, Colin,” Lily said.
“I wasn’t going to hurt her.”
“That doesn’t matter,” she said, her voice soft. “You’re big and strong, and when you’re angry, people can sense the innate violence within you. The poor waitress was cowering and crying and you wouldn’t let up until Evan put everything he had into pulling you away. And then, I was almost certain you were going to hit him.”
Colin’s gaze dropped to the ground before slowly coming up again, and for a moment, his confidence was gone. In its place Maria saw shame and remorse, maybe even a flash of hopelessness.
“It won’t happen again.”
“Maybe,” Lily said, kissing him on the cheek. “You said that the last time, too.”
She turned toward Maria and offered a hug. “And I’m absolutely certain that all of this must feel both overwhelming and terrifying to you. If someone was stalking and taunting me, I would have already been off to Charleston by now to hide out with my parents, and knowing them, they’d send me out of the country. I’m just so sorry for what you’re going through.”
“Thank you,” Maria said. Suddenly exhausted, she barely recognized the sound of her own voice.
“Would you like to come inside?” Lily asked when she pulled back. “I’m sure Evan is calmer by now, and we can work through some options or ideas… or we can just sit and listen if you feel like you need to talk.”
“I wouldn’t even know what to say,” she said.
Lily understood, and with a gentle click of the door as it closed behind her, Maria and Colin were alone on the front porch.
“I’m sorry, Maria,” he mumbled.
“I know.”
“Would you like me to bring you home?”
In either direction, most of the houses were already dark.
“I don’t want to go home,” she said in a small voice. “He knows where I live.”
Colin stretched out his hand. “C’mon,” he said. “You can stay with me.”
Leaving the porch, they walked around the side of the house, toward the downstairs entrance. Once inside, Colin turned on the lights as he led the way. Hoping for any distraction from the lingering knot in her stomach, she took in the room. Average sized, with a kitchen off to the right and a small hallway directly ahead that no doubt led to the bedroom and bath. Surprisingly neat, without clutter piled on the coffee table or on the counters. Neutral color scheme for the furniture, with no photographs or personal items, like no one lived here at all.
“This is your place?”
He nodded. “For now. Can I get you something to drink?”
“Just water,” she said.
Colin filled two glasses in the kitchen, bringing one of them to her. She took a sip, suddenly remembering that she was being followed and seeing again Colin’s anger as he’d demanded answers from the waitress, his muscles tense. She remembered the split second after Evan had jerked him off balance and the utter wildness and uncontrollable fury in his expression.
“How are you feeling?” he finally asked.
She tried to force the image away and realized that she couldn’t. “Not good,” she said. “Not good at all.”
Neither of them seemed to know what to say to the other in the living room, nor later, when they were in bed together. Instead, simply needing to be held, Maria rolled over, resting her head on Colin’s chest, conscious of the lingering tension in his body.
She’d hoped that by staying here, with Colin beside her, she’d feel safe.
But she didn’t feel safe. Not anymore. And as she lay awake, staring into the darkness, she was beginning to wonder whether she ever would again.
In the morning, Colin drove Maria home and waited in the living room while she showered and changed, but he didn’t join her for brunch at her parents’. He understood that right now, she needed to be alone with her family, a haven of stability and predictability amid a life that suddenly felt wildly off course. He walked her to her car and while they embraced, she found herself holding back slightly.
At the house, her parents were oblivious, but Serena figured out something was bothering Maria as soon as she stepped inside, something Maria didn’t want to share with her parents. Serena played along perfectly, maintaining a stream of commentary as they cooked and ate, filling any silences with the sound of her voice and keeping the conversation from drifting toward anything serious.
Afterwards, Maria and Serena went for a walk. As soon as they reached a safe distance from the house, Serena turned and said, “Spill it.” On a bench beneath an elm tree with leaves that had begun to turn gold, Maria told Serena everything that had happened, reliving the terror of the past several days, and when she started to cry, Serena began to cry as well. Like Maria, Serena was upset and scared; like Maria, she had more questions than answers. Questions at which Maria could only shake her head.
After lunch, Serena and her parents headed off to Maria’s uncle’s house, an informal family get-together like countless others, but Maria begged off, claiming she had a headache and wanted to take a nap. While her dad accepted the explanation without question, Maria’s mother was dubious, though she knew enough not to press her. On the way out the door, she hugged Maria longer than usual and asked how things were going with Colin. The sound of his name brought a sudden wellspring of tears, and on her way to the car, Maria thought, I’ve officially become a basket case.
Even concentrating enough to drive was strangely difficult. Despite the traffic, all she could think was that someone was watching her, waiting for her to return… or maybe he was even following her now. Impulsively, she changed lanes and made a quick turn onto a side street, her eyes glued to the rearview mirror. She turned again, then once more before finally pulling over. And though she wanted to be strong—pleaded with God to help her be strong—she found herself bent over the steering wheel, sobbing.
Who was he and what did he want? The nameless, faceless man in the baseball cap—why hadn’t she looked for him? All she remembered were shadows and fragments, nothing at all…
But there was more, too, something that kept her anxious and on the verge of tears. Without thinking, she put the car in gear and started driving, eventually making her way to a quiet stretch of Carolina Beach.
The day was cool and the breeze held the nip of the coming winter as she walked the sand. Clouds had rolled in, white and gray, and it felt like impending rain. The waves rolled in calming rhythm, and as she walked, she finally felt her thoughts beginning to settle long enough for a bit of clarity to emerge.
She wasn’t on edge simply because she was being followed. Nor was she merely reliving the fears she’d felt for Colin as he’d stood with the police officers with the rest of his life hanging in the balance. She saw now that she was also afraid of Colin, and as sick as the thought made her feel, she couldn’t push the feeling away.
Knowing that she needed to talk to Colin, Maria drove to Evan’s. When Colin opened the door to his apartment, she saw that he had been studying at the small kitchen table. Though he invited her in, she declined, the interior of his place appearing suddenly claustrophobic. Instead, they went to Evan’s porch, each taking a seat in a rocking chair as the rain began to fall.
Colin perched on the edge of his seat, forearms resting on his legs. He looked tired, the last twenty-four hours obviously taking a toll. He did nothing to break the silence, and for a moment, Maria wasn’t even sure where to begin.
“I’ve been on edge ever since last night,” she ventured, “so if I’m not making much sense, it’s probably because my thoughts are still jumbled.” She drew a breath. “I mean, I know you were just trying to help me. But Lily was right. Even though I believe you when you say that you weren’t going to hurt the waitress, the way you were acting told a different story.”
“I almost lost control.”
“No,” she said. “You did lose control.”
“I can’t control my emotions. The only thing I can control is my behavior, and I didn’t touch her.”
“Don’t try to minimize what happened.”
“I’m not trying to minimize it.”
“What if you get angry with me?”
“I would never hurt you.”
“And like the waitress, I might end up terrified and in tears anyway. If you’d acted like that toward me, I’d never want to talk to you again. And then, with Evan…”
“I didn’t do anything to Evan.”
“But had it been anyone else who grabbed you—a guy you didn’t know—you wouldn’t have been able to stop, and you know it. Just like Margolis said.” She made sure to hold his gaze. “Or are you going to lie to me for the first time and say I’m wrong?”
“I was scared for you. Because the guy was there.”
“But what you did didn’t make it better.”
“I just wanted to find out what he looked like.”
“And you don’t think I do?” she said, raising her voice. “But tell me this—what if he’d still been there? Just sitting at the bar? What would you have done then? Do you honestly believe that you were capable of having a reasonable conversation with him? No. You would have overreacted, and right now, you’d be in prison.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You already apologized.” She hesitated. “As much as we’ve discussed your past and as much as I thought I knew you, I realize that I don’t. Last night, you weren’t the guy I fell in love with, or even a guy I would have dated. Instead, I saw someone that—in my past—I would have gladly put away.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “All I know is that I don’t have the energy to start worrying that you’ll do something dumb and throw your life away, or that you’ll end up frightening me because something inside you suddenly switches on.”
“It’s not your job to worry about me.”
At his comment, she flushed, all her fears and anxieties and anger rising to the surface like an air bubble moving through water.
“Don’t be a hypocrite! What the hell do you think all that was about last night? Or the past week, for that matter? You hid out on a roof for hours to take pictures of my boss, called every florist in the city, and drove two hours to show a stranger a photograph! You did that because you were worried about me. And now you’re saying that I’m not allowed to worry about you? Why is it okay for you to worry, but not for me—”
“Maria—”
“Let me finish!” she demanded. “I told you that what was happening to me wasn’t your problem! I told you to let it go! But you were dead set on doing whatever the hell you wanted… And okay, maybe you did talk me into letting you take the photos. Because you made it sound like you knew what you were doing—like you could handle it. But based on last night, you obviously can’t! You were almost arrested! And then what would have happened? Do you have any idea what that would have done to me? How I would have felt?”
She pressed her fingers to her eyelids and was trying to organize her thoughts when she heard her cell phone ring. Pulling it from her pocket, she recognized Serena’s number and wondered why she was calling. Hadn’t she said something about going on a date?
She answered and instantly heard the panic in Serena’s voice, the words spilling out in rapid Spanish.
“Come home now!” Serena sobbed before Maria could say a single word.
Maria felt her chest constrict. “What’s wrong? Is Dad okay? What happened?”
“It’s Mom and Dad! Because of Copo! She’s dead!”