9 It took years for Dominique to stop beating herself up for staying with Nzinga for as long as she did – nearly three years, three years how could she have been so weak when she'd been so strong, and was again after she left her? grateful to go back to the self she had lost after Spirit Moon, she stayed with Gaia's lawyer friends, Maya and Jessica, who welcomed her the afternoon she arrived with a meal of fresh salads and a peaceful little yellow room at the back of their expensive property overlooking their orange and lemon grove that first night Dominique felt disoriented, Nzinga was still in her head, in fact she squatted it illegally for a very long time she often had nightmares of her coming at her through the bedroom window brandishing the hunting knife she'd had when they met, which she'd kept under the mattress
the next day Maya and Jessica asked her what she'd like for dinner, Dominique wasn't used to having a choice, spent ages deliberating; in the end they indulged her wishes and barbecued a meat medley of burger, turkey drumsticks, sausages, pork, lamb chops and steak – with salad after a few bites she ended up running to the loo to throw up, returned and picked at the salad that evening she stayed up late with the two women who'd met each other at art school, swapped their careers as impoverished artists to pursue corporate law, forwent job satisfaction in order to earn big bucks and work eighteen hour days that killed their creativity they planned to retire at fifty, resurrect their artistic selves, if it's not too late they were enthralled to hear about her theatre and clubbing life in London, admired the fact that she and Amma had chosen a creative path even when it was financially unstable and they'd probably never be homeowners or have a pension Dominique sat with them in their warm grove drinking delicious wine late into the night it was like a sedative was wearing off and she felt herself surging with energy she was hyper, she was high, she was coming back to life.