18
APHRODITE
I don’t end up reading. Instead, I hold my book open and watch Pandora circle my living room. She’s as curious as a cat, touching the little trinkets I have arranged on the floating shelves by the door, sifting through the books on my bookshelf, even testing out each of the couches and chairs. She does it all without a smidge of self-consciousness. I like that a lot.
I should be seducing her right now. She knows more than she’s saying just by virtue of being Hephaestus’s best friend and living in Minos’s household. If I’ve learned anything through the years, it’s that even the most steadfast asshole will forget themselves when they’re doped up on good sex. It’s a tactic I’ve used more than a few times, with great success.
It would work on Pandora.
Our little interlude in Hades’s club all but proved it. I spent far too much of today thinking about how sweetly her lips had parted and how lovely the lust-glazed look was in her dark eyes. “I want to keep you.”
Pandora stops in the middle of flipping through a book filled with monster-fucking art. “Excuse me?”
I hadn’t meant to say it aloud, but now that I have, I’m not about to backtrack. “You feel this connection, too. I realize we’re somewhat on opposite sides of things, but I’ve never let a little thing like a person being an enemy stop me from taking what I want. I want you.”
She slowly turns another page. “Even if I admitted to feeling a connection with you… Eris, I’m not for keeping. I’ll never be the type of person who feels comfortable with monogamy.”
I laugh. I can’t help it. “No, I don’t imagine you would be.” I lean forward, drawing her gaze from the book to my face. “You’re too invested in new experiences to limit yourself to one person.”
She eyes me as if testing for a trap. “Even if you were fine with that, there’s still Theseus between us. I like you quite a bit, Eris, but he’s my best friend. If you two can’t come to some kind of peace, then there can be no you and me.”
I lean back and shut my book. I’m not normally one to let my emotions get the best of me, but I want more time with Pandora. Not just to get whatever information out of her. Not just to use her to hurt my husband.
I feel parts of me unwind in her presence. She’s gone through so much and still manages to keep a light about her that feels downright magical.
It could be that I’m playing right into her hands—into Minos’s hands—by indulging this attraction, but… “What about a compromise?”
“What compromise?”
This is a fool’s bargain. I don’t care. I lean forward and prop my elbows on my thighs. “When it’s just you and me…it’s just you and me. No politics. No mining for information. No public power plays. Just us.”
Pandora laughs. The sound fills the room like afternoon sunlight. “Come now, Eris. I may not know you well, but even so, I’d put good money on you sticking to that agreement for only as long as it suits you.”
She’s right. I shrug. “We’ll have plenty of fun in the meantime.”
“You’re unrelenting.” She purses her lips and flips another page. “It’s not a good idea.”
No, it’s certainly not. I push to my feet and cross to slide the book out of her hands. “Nothing about this has been a good idea. That hasn’t stopped either of us yet.”
“If you’re trying to get into my pants, there are easier ways.”
It would be simpler if that was all I wanted from Pandora. I do want that, but I’ve also enjoyed the time we’ve spent together in the last two weeks. I like that she laughs too loud and doesn’t care who else is in the room. I love the way she seems perpetually willing to see the glass as half-full, no matter the circumstances. She’s soft and she’s sweet and yet she’s not weak. I can’t steamroll her. I like that, too.
Part of me whispers that the only reason I’m pushing so hard for this is because I’ve lost Adonis, but it’s not quite the truth. That relationship was worlds different than what Pandora and I might have. Even if she’s technically part of Minos’s household, she stands outside the power structure. She’s not Olympian. She’s enemy by association, but not actively working to hurt the city I love.
With Adonis, things were never simple. Even when we were alone, part of me was always aware of what our relationship looked like from the outside. What it meant. He might not have ambitions to be one of the Thirteen, but his proximity to me, especially after I became Aphrodite, made him a power player.
And power players are not to be overlooked or underestimated when it comes to the damage they can cause, even unwittingly.
Even in our relationship itself, he and I were always so intense, hot and cold and never anything in between. Before meeting Pandora, I would have said that something warm and easy and simple would be the antithesis of what I wanted.
I was wrong.
For the first time in weeks, I’m not thinking about my next move or how to manipulate those around me into cleaving to my end goals. I’m just…relaxed. Because of her. “How about this?” I tuck a long strand of her dark hair behind her ear. An excuse to touch her, and it takes far more effort than I would like to admit to withdraw my hand instead of cupping her jaw and tilting her face up. “We won’t have sex.”
“What?”
I nod, even though I have my doubts about this plan. “We know we fit there, even if we haven’t indulged nearly as much as I’d like. Give me a chance to prove we fit elsewhere. No monogamy. Open communication.” This is probably a mistake. It might feel simple when we’re alone, but I’m Aphrodite. Who I take to bed is anything but uncomplicated. It will give Pandora power…if she chooses to take it.
She narrows her eyes. “You’re serious.”
“Yes.” I hope to the gods I’m not making a mistake, but it’s too late to back out now. I’ve lost Adonis. I’m playing out an intense game of political chess with my husband, which isn’t helped by the fact that last night’s sex confused the situation more than I want to admit. Adonis was right to freak out about my sleeping with Hephaestus. I don’t know how to deal with the fact I did, so I’m just ignoring that it happened in the first place.
Pandora is still staring at me like I’ve grown a second head. My skin heats in something like embarrassment, so I grab her hand and pull her toward the couch. “Let’s start now. We’ll watch a movie.”
“A movie.”
“Yes, that’s what normal people do on dates.” I’m pretty sure. I tend to prefer ridiculously expensive dinners and dancing, interspersed with sowing chaos in the political parties the Thirteen host on a semi-regular basis. It’s always more fun to do it with a partner in tow, even if they’re only there to observe. The shared experience is fun to deconstruct later that night after we’ve fucked all the restless energy out of ourselves.
But sex is currently off the table with Pandora.
A movie seems like a safe enough bet. I’m sure I can manage to keep my hands to myself and prove that I’m serious about this with her. Probably.
“Okay, fine. Let’s watch a movie.” She points at me. “But only because I really don’t want to go back to Minos’s place.”
“You really aren’t a fan of his, are you?”
“That is severely understating things.”
I almost offer to set her up in her own place, but that’s too much, too soon. She’s not even sure if she wants to watch a movie with me, and I’m standing here wondering if she’ll let me pay for her rent. I give myself a mental shake. “Let’s see what’s streaming.”
In the end, I let Pandora pick, though I have cause to regret it when she lands on a horror movie about a haunted house. I don’t mind gore and I’ve sat through more thrillers with Perseus than I care to admit, but there’s something about ghosts that gets beneath my skin.
Maybe because I have my own haunting me. Some living, like my little brother. Some dead and gone, like my mother. I don’t think of her most days, but when the old grief rises, dull and throbbing like a poorly healed wound, it always catches me unaware.
And my father? He haunts me in an entirely different way. The longer I hold the Aphrodite title, the more I see why he did some of the things he did. When you have so much power at your disposal, it’s so easy to trample those around you. My aims might be slightly more noble than his—protection of this city, rather than personal gain—but that doesn’t change the outcome.
I’ve hurt people, just like he hurt people. Without hesitation. Without regret. I’d do it again if the situation required it.
Growing up, I never thought I’d be in danger of becoming the monster who terrorized my childhood, and yet it’s a future that feels inescapable now.
“Eris?”
I glance down to find Pandora watching me with a worried expression on her face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” It’s even the truth. I am fine. My heart hurts over losing Adonis, but not enough to change my path. I’d probably shed a tear if I had cause to trample Pandora, but I’d do it without blinking if Olympus required it.
Gods, I really am a monster.
“Do you have a blanket around here? It’s a little cold.”
I’m pathetically grateful to get up and pull out one of the throw blankets I keep in the chest under the television. I pause to flip off the overhead light and then walk back to the couch.
Pandora takes the blanket from me and shakes it out. “This will work.” I barely have a chance to sit down before she’s cuddling up against me and tossing the blanket over us both. She exhales gustily. “Perfect.”
The comforting weight of her stills the worst of my circling thoughts. There’s no point in worrying about what cruelties I’ll be required to enact in the future. It’s not right now.
Right now, I have a beautiful woman half-draped over me. I relax by inches. Pandora smells lovely, and she snuggles more firmly against me when I drag my fingers lightly through her hair.
I’ve just decided that maybe I should seduce Pandora properly when she gives a light snore. I shift back enough to see her face. Sure enough, she’s sleeping. I’m not prepared for the protective urge that surges up inside me with enough strength to steal my breath. She trusts me enough to sleep on me. Not because she’s drunk, but because I’m here and she feels safe.
I settle back against the couch and tuck her more tightly against me. “I’ll keep you safe, Pandora. I promise.” I hope to the gods I’m not going to make a liar out of myself.
The movie ends with everyone dying in increasingly horrific ways, and I switch on a sweeping period piece that I like to watch when my mind needs a break. Occasionally, it’s even enough to coax me to sleep, but after a full eight hours last night, my tiredness doesn’t evolve into anything other than gritty eyes and a cranky temperament.
Morning comes far too soon and Pandora shifts against me and lifts her head. She blinks those big, dark eyes at me. “I fell asleep.”
“You seemed to need the rest.” I ease to my feet. My arm is asleep and my hips feel a little wonky, but it’s worth it. “You’re more than welcome to stay, but I need to go in to work today.”
She yawns, as cute as a kitten. “I won’t overstay my welcome. I should check on Ariadne and make sure she’s left her room sometime in the last twenty-four hours. Sometimes she gets hyperfocused on a project and forgets little things like food and showering.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask what kind of projects, but I just got done promising to keep prying questions away from this relationship. “You like her.”
“She’s a good girl.” Pandora stands and stretches. “Sheltered and a bit spoiled, but it hasn’t soured her. Minos mostly ignores her and I think she prefers it that way.”
I can’t understand that, but then, I’m a very different person than Ariadne. I make a mental note to touch base with Eurydice and see if she’s made any progress prying Ariadne out of that shell. “I’ll text you later.”
Pandora bites her lip and shifts a little. “Okay.” She hesitates and then rushes forward to press a quick kiss to my mouth. Before I can change my mind again, she’s gone, slipping out of my living room. A few seconds later, I hear my front door shut.
Normally, after a sleepless night, no matter how used to them I am, it takes a truly outstanding amount of coffee to put a little pep in my step. Not this morning. I feel strangely buoyant as I get ready to go into the office. The nature of my title means I don’t have giant holdings like Demeter or soldiers like Ares or a team of engineers like Hephaestus. I prefer it that way.
I wonder what my dear husband was up to last night?
I push the thought away. He managed well enough on his own, and I wouldn’t trade that quiet time with Pandora for anything. I’ll worry about him later. Right now, I’m going to enjoy my good mood and the good weather.
The morning is nice, the air crisp with just a tease of winter’s chill. Far too nice to take the car. Besides, after what happened to Athena, it’s especially important that the Thirteen don’t hide. We have fought our battles in the court of public perception, but the stakes have never been higher. The average Olympian won’t stoop to murder, no matter how delightful they find the fantasy of being one of the Thirteen, but it would take very little for the tide of public opinion to turn against us and for the people to start rooting for our assassins.
We’re facing down a rabid creature; one flinch and it will tear out all our throats.
There aren’t many people out and about, just a scattering of professionals making the trek to work. Several of them eye me, but I’m used to that. I’ve grown up under the watchful eye of the entire city. Paparazzi were snapping photos of me on the grade school playground. There was a particularly disgusting set of people who did countdowns to when Helen and I turned eighteen. As an adult, there’s always someone staring or, if they’re brave, asking for a picture or an autograph. There’s even a particularly robust fanfic community devoted to shipping me with anyone I look sideways at.
It’s just how my life is.
I make it to my office without having to directly deal with anyone. It’s a small building compared to the ones that tower around it, but I like to think that’s because we have nothing to prove. People who come through my doors need a service only I can provide.
I took the Aphrodite title because I wanted the power, even if the last bitch who held it only gave it to me to sow discord. I never expected to enjoy the work.
Sele looks up as I slip through the door. They’re a petite person with medium-brown skin, truly outstanding cheekbones, and black hair they keep in a funky short style. Today they’re wearing a long-sleeved black garment that I don’t clock as a jumpsuit until they move around from behind the desk. “Morning.”
“Morning.”
They eye me. “You look…oddly happy.”
“Thank you, Sele, I’ll take that backhanded compliment.” I shake my head. “Especially when you usually tell me that I look tired.”
“Because you usually do look tired. Really, there’s a reason I gave you those sleepy-time teas.” They arch an eyebrow. “Also, there’s someone here to see you.”
That gives me pause. “Already? We just opened the doors a few minutes ago.”
“He was waiting outside. Kind of sad, really. You should cut the poor guy a break.” They move back behind the front desk and tap a button of their keyboard. “Also, there are a bunch of requests for matches that came in overnight. I just sent them to you.”
“Thanks.” I sense movement behind me and turn to find the very last person that I want to see on this morning. My promise of a very good day goes down the drain before my eyes.
My husband is here.