matthew
I walk into my house, tossing my keys on the table by the door before making my way to the couch. Throwing myself onto the couch, I put my head back and close my eyes, letting out the biggest sigh of relief.
Fuck, today has been brutal. I walked into practice not knowing if anyone would ask me, but why would they? I went on the ice, did what I had to do, and then got my ass out of there, knowing I had to go to Sofia. I don’t know what Helena was going to do or if she was going to call her, but I wanted her to hear it from me at least. How fucking dumb did that even sound? I wanted my ex to find out from me that the wedding she was planning was now cancelled. I practiced what I was going to say the whole ride there. How I was going to tell her that it was cancelled and ask her to sit down with me for a minute. I was almost there until her boyfriend walked in the room. I rub my hands over my face as I laugh, thinking how this is like a soap opera.
I’m about to lie down when the front door swings open. “Honey, I’m home.”
“Matthew.” I hear my father hiss at my uncle. “Too soon.”
“You can take the stupid out of the guy, but you can’t keep the guy from being stupid,” my uncle Max says, and I can’t help but silently laugh. For the first time in a while, I feel okay, or at least that things are going to be okay. I mean, I don’t think anything is going to be okay until Sofia and I sit down and finally fucking talk. She can keep evading me for as long as she wants, but sooner or later, we are going to have a discussion. A discussion we should have had two years ago.
“That makes absolutely no sense,” my uncle Evan says, and I get up, walking over to the entrance.
Looking down, I see the four of them are walking down the hallway like a boy band. “What is going on?” I ask them and look over to make sure no one else is walking in the door.
“You called,” my father reminds me, when he’s close enough, he grabs me by my neck and pulls me to him. “I called Evan.”
“Who called me,” my uncle Matthew says, hugging me once my father lets me go, after the hug he slaps my arm.
“And we all know that he doesn’t go anywhere without this one,” my uncle Evan says. “M&M for life.”
Matthew and Max both moan. “That fucking nickname will probably be on my tombstone.”
“Oh, it will,” Evan assures him, slapping my arm, “even if I have to spray-paint it.”
My father heads to the living room while my uncle Evan heads to the fridge, as Max and Matthew walk over to look out at the yard. “What’s going on?” I look at all of them. “It looks like an intervention.”
“Bite your tongue,” my father scolds. “Come and sit down.”
“Yes, come and sit down so we can hear all about it,” Evan says, walking over to the couch, sitting on the other side. “We should order pizza or something.”
“This isn’t a slumber party,” Max says, sitting down next to him laughing.
“I was also going to add in beer,” Evan says to him.
“Come over here.” My father motions for me with his head.
I groan, throwing my head back, knowing I’m going to actually have to tell him the whole story. I walk over and sit next to my father. “Should we, I don’t know, get something to drink?” Evan says to us.
My father and I both yell, “No!”
“Jesus,” Matthew says, holding up his hands, coming over and sitting next to Max. “Okay, so what’s going on?”
I put my elbows on my knees and take a deep inhale, my head hanging forward. “I don’t know how to put this,” I start, “it’s just, we decided.”
“We?” Matthew asks and I close my eyes, knowing that with the four of them, there is no way I can get away with anything. If one lets me off the hook, it’s just because the other one knows he’s going to get me. It was always like that growing up. We would get away with it with one of them, and as soon as we would celebrate our victory, the other one of them would sweep in and crush our souls.
“We started the wedding planning.” I look up at the guys as they just stare at me, waiting for more. “And, I don’t know, it’s just like everything she picked would be the opposite of what I would have wanted.”
“You called off your wedding because you didn’t have the same decoration taste?” Evan asks, almost laughing.
“It was more than that,” I say. “It just…” I shake my head and look down at my hands that are gripped together. “It felt wrong.”
“It’s better that you did it now,” Matthew says, “than get divorced later.”
“That’s what I told her, but she didn’t take it as well,” I tell the guys and then take a deep breath. “There might be more.”
“There might be or there is?” Max asks as he puts his elbow on the arm of the couch.
“Well, I didn’t know she was looking for wedding planners.” I look at them and then to my father, who hasn’t really said much. “We went for our consultation and—”
“Did you fuck your wedding planner?” my father says between clenched teeth, and I just stare at him and shake my head. I mean, I did screw her, but not recently. He lets out a huge sigh of relief. “I would hate to have to kick your ass.”
“I would do it for you,” Evan says, glaring at me, and I just shake my head, not sure that by the end of this, he won’t kick my ass.
“I walked in, and Sofia was there.” I say her name out loud and my uncle Matthew is the first one to hold up his hand.
“Sofia?” He repeats the name, making sure he heard right. “The Sofia?”
“The Sofia.” I say her name in a whisper.
“The woman you were in love with?” Max asks and my chest gets tight and all I can do is nod at him.
“But you guys broke up?” my father asks and I take a deep inhale.
“We did,” I admit, “sort of.”
“Sort of?” Evan says and I just stare at him. “Oh, there is so much more.” He points at me. “And I have a feeling I’m going to have to kick your ass.”
“I have the same feeling,” Matthew agrees, glaring at me, and when I look at Max, he just shrugs.
“No one is kicking anyone’s ass,” my father declares. “You never told us.”
“I guess there is no time like the present.” I rub my face and get up, the nerves getting the best of me. “We were at an away game,” I start, thinking back to the fucking day I wish never fucking happened. “We won by the skin of our teeth and the guys wanted to go and celebrate.” I can hear their voices clear as day in my head. “Let’s just go and have one drink, they said, and I knew I should have just said no and gone home. But I didn’t, of course, I was like, one drink and then I’ll leave.” I start walking the room, pacing. “Especially since I knew Sofia was waiting for me to take her out.” I close my eyes. “We were going to go celebrate her getting into Chicago events.” I look at the guys, who still don’t say anything to me. “I kept checking my phone and then the guys there were relentless, ‘Stay, have one more.’” My hands go into fists. “‘Stop looking at your phone, Petrov.’” The burning starts in my stomach. “‘You’re so pussy-whipped.’” I look up and close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. “So I kept drinking with them to show them I wasn’t pussy-whipped.” The minute I say the words, all four of them groan. “Needless to say, I was shit-faced, and when I got home, she was there waiting for me all dressed up. Her face was filled with worry because she couldn’t get a hold of me.” I swear I have to rub my chest as I see her face again, like it was just yesterday and not two years ago. “She was frantic with worry since I never answered her calls or texts because my phone had died somewhere along the way. She tried to walk away from me and I—”
Max gets up. “Did you touch her?” He asks the question, and if I didn’t know better, I think he would have hit me first and asked the question after if I wasn’t related to him.
“Of course not,” I reply, and he sits back down. “But I wasn’t kind to her either. I told her to stop complaining and then I broke up with her.”
“While you were drunk?” Evan asks. I refuse to look over at my father for fear I will see how disgusted he is with me.
“Yes.” The word comes out in almost a whisper, but loud enough that I know they all hear me.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Matthew curses. “But you went to see her the next day, right?”
“No, there is more,” I admit, and his head goes back, and he lets out a hiss. “My friends were there telling me I didn’t need her. She was holding me back. She had no right to be pissed at me, it was my night.” I wish I would never have listened to them. “So after she stormed away from me, I went into my room and packed up all her shit.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “And dumped it at her door that night.”
“You fucking idiot,” Matthew says, “you fucking, fucking idiot.”
“I know!” I shout “You don’t think I fucking know this? I got up the next day and it was all a blur. Like, I remember bits and pieces, but when I sat up in bed, I saw all of our pictures gone. I saw my bedside table where she kept all her stuff on it empty.” I want to vomit, just like I did that day two years ago. I got up out of bed and I was going to go over to her when the doorbell rang. I ran, thinking it was her, but instead it was one of her guy friends and he had a box in his hand. The box I left at her house. I thought for sure it was her stuff back, but he shoved it in my hands, and when I looked in, it was all of my stuff. I was destroyed, but when I turned around, all the guys were there.” I shake my head. “I let my pride win.”
“Oh, Matty,” my father says softly, and I look over at him and he has his own tears in his eyes.
“Your pride?” Matthew says, his voice going higher. “Have you met her family?”
“Yes,” I admit to him. “Only her parents.”
“You did her dirty like that?” he hisses, shaking his head.
“I didn’t do her dirty like that,” I finally say, and even I know I did her dirty like that.
“You threw away two years because you had shitty-ass friends, and you caved under peer pressure,” Evan states calmly. “Did you even love her?”
“More than anything,” I admit for the first time ever, my voice breaking. “I called her a couple of times, but her number was changed,” I also admit for the first time. “I tried to go see her, but she was gone by then.”
“Helena,” my father says, “did she know?” I just shake my head.
“No, when we walked into the room, she pretended she’d never met me, and I did the same.” I sit down, thinking about how fucking nuts this is. “She acted like I was a stranger.”
“You love her.” My father doesn’t even skip a beat. “You can say what you want about Helena and whatever bullshit excuses you want to tell yourself to make you feel better.” He doesn’t mince words. “You were dumb and stupid.” He looks down. “Trust me, if anyone knows anything about caving to peer pressure, it has to be me.” My father has been clean and sober since before me and he never, ever hid it from me or shoved it under a rug. “But, son, think about it. You are living your life, and the minute you see her again—your whole life is shaken.”
I want to tell him he’s wrong, but I can’t. I let his words sink in. “You have to admit your faults, and from the story you told me, you better fucking be ready to fucking beg her to talk to you again.”
“Dad, I tried,” I explain to him. “I was early one day, and I tried.”
“After what you did to her, you’re lucky she didn’t cut off your testicles and make potpourri out of them,” Evan says, and my father laughs.
“You have to stop listening to Zara,” my father urges. “You tried, and she didn’t listen. That doesn’t mean you are off the hook. Then you have to prove to her that you aren’t the asshole who broke her heart because you wanted to be manly.” I’m about to tell him I know, but he holds up his hand. “Whatever the outcome is, you have to close the book, the story is still waiting for an ending.” His words make more sense than I could have.
“You met her father?” Max asks, and I nod my head. “You’re lucky he didn’t come after you.”
“What’s her family name?” Matthew asks.
“Barnes,” I say, “Sofia Barnes.”
“Why does that name sound familiar?” Matthew says, earning a moan from Max, who rolls his eyes.
“You don’t know everyone on the planet,” Max declares.
“Casey Barnes,” Matthew says, and I look over at him.
“That’s her grandfather,” I say, shocked that he actually knows him.
“You fucking dumbass.” Matthew jumps up, then looks at my dad, who just stares at him. “CBS Corporation.”
“The security firm?” I ask, and he puts his hands on his hips. His jaw tightens, and I swear I see a tic in the vein on his forehead. “That’s her grandfather?” I ask.
“Holy shit,” Evan blurts from beside Matthew, his phone in his hand. “This guy is—” He looks up at Matthew.
“He could make you disappear, and not even I would be able to find you,” Matthew states, and I swallow down. “Everyone, calm down.” We all look at him, then look at Max, because he’s the only one who can reel him in. “You think I’m powerful?”
“One,” Max says, getting up, “no one thinks you’re powerful except for Karrie.” He holds up a finger. “And two, if she told him, he would have already been paid a visit.”
“Is he in the mob?” I ask, my hands going into my hair.
“You wish,” Evan says. “This guy trained with the Navy SEALs for fun.” He laughs and I look over at my father, I’m sure the blood has now drained from my face.
“Everyone needs to just relax,” my father says, getting up. “Max, please take him out of here before his head explodes.” He points at Matthew, who just shakes his head.
“I’m going to ask around,” Matthew comments, “put out some feelers.” He looks at us, and Evan just laughs at him getting up.
“Oh, Tony Soprano, time to get you home and in a robe.” Evan slaps him on the back before looking at me. “You better make this right.” All I can do is nod at them because I know if I don’t, I’m going to have these four kick my ass along with her family.