CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Rosie
Lina shook her head.
“What?” I whispered. “What’s that exasperated look for?”
We were in our favorite café in Manhattan, hours after Lina had shown up at her apartment and learned of Lucas and my arrangement, and demanded we meet again in the evening to talk.
Not just talk. But talk. Away from the men.
“Don’t what me,” Lina answered, exhaling forcefully for what had to be the hundredth time. “You know what. I go on my honeymoon for a few weeks and when I come back, I find you all… cozy and homey with my cousin.”
“You’re right,” I told her, because she was. “We should have told you about it from day one. I feel terrible, Lina. Awful for occupying your apartment like this without you knowing.”
Lina groaned. “It’s not that I’m upset about, Rosie.”
The impulse to come in Lucas’s defense resurfaced, but I told myself to push it down. I had officially known the man for close to three weeks, so it wasn’t my place, I guessed. I’d said enough this morning. “What is it, then? What is it about Lucas and I being friends that bothers you so much?”
“I love him, okay?” She held both hands up. “Out of all my cousins, Lucas is the one I’m closest to. So, when I say I love him, I don’t mean it in a ‘I put up with him because he’s blood’ kind of way. He’s like the big brother I never had. And that… I don’t know. Maybe that’s part of the issue. The idea of him getting between us and hurting you makes me want to cut his—”
“Okay.” I stopped her there, before she started throwing threats around again. “First of all, no one’s getting between you and me, okay? I’m serious.”
She nodded.
“Now,” I continued. “Why do you assume he’s going to hurt me? Is that related to whatever Lucas juju you mentioned this morning?”
Lina shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Can you explain it to me? Tell me why?”
Lina’s hands draped around her coffee mug, bringing it to her lips. “Fine.” She took a sip before continuing: “Lucas’s superpower is making people love him, and as annoying as he was when we were kids, he is lovable. Sometimes. And trust me, I know he has a pantie-dropping smile, and that he’s good-looking in this… easy way. And I also know he can be funny, too, okay?”
“Okay,” I murmured. Because he was all those things. On top of the many, many other things that made me like him so much.
Lina tapped her nails on her mug. “He is all of that, and yet he’s never brought a woman to a family gathering. He’s never had a serious relationship. Not since… I don’t know, high school?”
“Lorena Navarro,” I was saying before I knew what I was doing.
“How the heck—”
“We talk,” I said quickly. “He mentioned her name.”
I looked behind her, pretending I was inspecting the beautiful flowers adorning the window, because, God, I was getting so good at this “lying by omission” game I was playing. And the skill didn’t feel good. I hated myself for it. But how could I tell Lina that her fear was in fact a disaster waiting to happen? That Lucas’s juju worked, and that it worked so well, his magic was actually helping me with my book? That today, after Lina and Aaron had left I’d been finally writing? That a nozzle had been turned on and a stream of emotions and ideas and inspiration was starting to pour out?
Lina frowned but seemed to buy my explanation. “It’s not like he’s been in a place long enough for a relationship to stick. And with all those tournaments all around the world, he spends six months away and then he’s back home for another six. Or just three. Or who knows. So, I guess it makes sense that he’s never settled down?”
No one has ever broken his heart, he’d said.
And yet, no matter how much he traveled, it seemed like a wonder to me that no one had snatched him up so far.
“Him being here, on vacation, it’s no different,” Lina continued.
I thought back to last night, Lucas confiding in me about his injury. No one but me knew that his break was permanent.
I needed to be careful with my choice of words. “How is it not different?”
“Who’s saying he won’t use his juju on you? You’ll giggle. He’ll smirk. You two will do the nasty. He’ll leave. And boom.”
I swallowed, the thought of him leaving making me dizzy for all kinds of reasons. “And boom, I’ll get hurt?”
“Yes, exactly. And I’ll have no choice but to murder him.” She blew air through her mouth. “And as I mentioned, he’s kind of my favorite. And I… ugh, I really don’t want to. Not when I’m actually worried about him.”
I didn’t say anything, waiting for her to continue.
Lina’s mouth fell. “I think there’s something wrong. Abuela told me she caught him having a panic attack. Before his trip.”
My chest hurt at that. At the thought of such a solid, strong man undergoing such a thing. It made me wonder what had happened to him exactly.
Sadness coated my best friend’s face when she continued. “Apparently it was Taco that went to fetch Abuela and brought her to Lucas. Thank God he had emotional support training.”
“He does? I had no idea, Lucas never pos—” I stopped myself, catching my slip on time. “Lucas never said anything. Neither did you.”
Lina nodded. “When Taco was a pup, he was placed with one of Abuela’s neighbors, a retired policeman that suffered from PTSD. The man passed away soon after.” She sighed. “Heart attack. The family was so devastated that they couldn’t deal with a pup on top of everything, so Abuela offered to take care of him for a few weeks. In one of Lucas’s visits, the two of them met and, well, they fell in love with each other. When weeks turned into months and the family wasn’t showing any signs of wanting to take care of Taco… Lucas adopted him.”
“So, it wasn’t Lucas who named him?” I said, when in reality, this story was making me feel all kinds of new things for Lucas.
“Oh no.” Lina chuckled. “That was the man’s granddaughter.” She shook her head. “Anyway, after the panic attack, Abuela suggested he take a trip. A change of scene to clear his head.”
“And he came to the States,” I concluded, and Lina nodded. I felt my throat work as I tried not to let everything I was feeling affect my voice. “I’m sure that whatever it is, Lucas will come around and tell you. He loves you guys, and maybe he just needs time to do it on his own terms.” I paused. “Sometimes, when we’re in pain, we need to come to the realization on our own that we need help. Before we can ever accept it.”
Lina’s hand reached out across the table and grabbed mine. “Ugh, you really are wise, best friend.”
I wasn’t. I really wasn’t. But I gave her a smile and hoped she’d still love me when I told her everything that I was keeping from her about Lucas.
“Anyway.” Lina waved her hand in the air. “Are you sure you don’t want to come stay with Aaron and me? There’s a spare room and more than enough space in his apartment. Our apartment, now.”
“I’m sure,” I told her confidently. The last thing I wanted was to disturb two newlyweds.
“All right. If you’re sure.” She shrugged, checking the time on her phone. “It’s getting late, and I told Aaron I’d help him with dinner.”
“Yep, let’s go.” I braced my hands on the table and pulled my chair back. “I should get back, too. Lucas has probably started with dinner already.”
Lina tsked. “That’s why you don’t want to leave him for us.”
I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I played dumb. “Huh?”
She cackled. “I don’t blame you. Lucas is an amazing cook. He’s somehow elevated Abuela’s recipe book to a whole different galaxy. Tía Carmen is always trying to get him to audition for one of those cooking shows.”
I smiled at the idea of Lucas on TV. God, he’d win the damn thing and everyone’s hearts in a heartbeat.
“Oh.” She caught my attention with a waving hand. “Before I forget. Do you have plans for Halloween?”
I grabbed my jacket from the back of my chair. “You know I don’t.”
Lina joined me at the side of the table, her lips twitching with a devious smile. “Well, you might now.” She grabbed her own jacket and slipped her arms in. “Aaron was invited to a—brace yourself—Masquerade Ball. Next Saturday.”
My eyebrows shot up my forehead. “Fancy.”
“It’s really a costume party, but you New Yorkers have a sexy name for everything. Anyway, it’s one of the charity things he gets invited to every year, but never attends. You know Aaron.”
“Yeah, I can imagine how dressing up is not his thing.” Or socializing, in general. “But I’m guessing Aaron is going to RSVP yes to this one? For you?”
“And it barely took any convincing,” Lina bragged, a glint in her eyes. “My husband is kind of the best.”
Her face brightened. Just like it always did when she talked about him.
That sharp bite of longing returned. It was quick but threw me off balance all the same.
Unaware, Lina continued, “The organizing committee was so happy he was attending, that they sent him two extra invitations.”
Oh. “I don’t know, sweetie. I’m—”
“You’re under a deadline, I know.” Lina seemed to consider something. “Did you re-download Tinder? Like I suggested?”
The tips of my ears turned warm. “No, I didn’t. I somehow found a different… method. It’s a long story that I can tell you tomorrow because we’re in… er… a rush now.”
She looked skeptical. “Is it working?”
“Yes,” I confirmed without thinking. Because it was. It so was.
“Then,” Lina pointed out with a smile, “maybe you can afford to take this one night off? Have a little Halloween fun? Fun is good for the mind.”
We started for the exit of the café, and I heard myself say, “You have two tickets, right?”
Lina sighed. “Does that mean you want to bring my cousin?”
I pinned her down with a hard look.
“Are you sure you two are not… doing smoochies? You know you can tell me if you are, right? Even after everything I told you, and even if he’s my cousin and that would be a very gross conversation.”
“We’re not,” I quipped. “And where are you learning all these expressions and euphemisms? They’re either old-school or… weird.”
“I have my ways.” She shrugged. And before getting to the door, she gave me one last glance. “So, Lucas and you are not an item. Right?”
“No,” I answered as casually as I could. “That’s never been in the cards for us, Lina.”
The first thing I noticed as I walked into the apartment were the two women fussing over Lucas at the stove.
“Hello… everyone?” I greeted the room, getting three head turns—Lucas, our neighbor Adele, and her daughter, Alexia. “This is a surprise. A good one.”
“You’re back,” Lucas said. “Finally.”
Ugh. That finally made me feel so… hopeful, that it almost distracted me from the confident way he strolled in my direction.
When he reached me, he leaned down slightly and said just for my ears, “We have company, as you see. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course,” I answered, taking notice of how close he was standing. How he towered over me. I swallowed. “Adele is always welcome, you know that.”
His brows furrowed momentarily. “Did my cousin give you a hard time?”
I shook my head. “No, she’s just…” Worried. About me, about you, too. “She means well but the whole thing caught her by surprise. I set her straight, and I didn’t… I didn’t really tell her about the experiment.”
I couldn’t bring myself to say dates. Lucas seemed to notice my hesitation, because a thoughtful expression dimmed the lightness in his eyes.
I watched his gaze trail down my body in almost an absentminded way, as if he wasn’t aware of what he was doing.
“All right,” he said, grabbing the grocery bag I had forgotten I had in my hand. “You’re just in time. I needed to throw these in the pan right now.”
Oh.
That was why he was looking down. That was where the finally came from.
He’d texted me to get some parsley and fresh red chili peppers if I had the chance. He’d been waiting for the ingredients. Not for me.
And that was okay. I didn’t have a reason to be disappointed. I—
Lucas brushed a quick kiss on my cheek, my thoughts coming to a halt at the contact. “Thanks for picking these up,” he said. “Now, come on, dinner will be ready in a minute.”
One moment his lips had been touching my skin, right there, barely an inch from my mouth, and the next, he was striding away leaving me… dumbfounded.
Because he had kissed me. On the cheek.
As friends, I reminded myself. Because in Spain, friends kissed friends on the cheek all the time. Roommates did, too, when friendly.
Trying really hard to ignore the way that tiny patch of skin still tingled, I followed him to the island to chat with the women. “Hi, guys, how are you doing?”
“Hi, Rosie,” Alexia greeted me with eyes that were like her mother’s. “We’re doing okay. Now.”
Adele ignored her daughter’s sideways glance. “This young man here is cooking dinner for us.” She looked over at Lucas, who was back at the stove. “He said he knows what he’s doing and made me promise I’d sit down and stop nagging him about everything.”
“Which you didn’t,” her daughter muttered, placing both hands on Adele’s shoulders and ushering her to a stool. “So, how about you stop hovering around us like an opinionated fly and get off your feet, huh?”
Adele mumbled but took a seat, and a satisfied Alexia returned to Lucas’s side, seemingly engrossed by my roommate’s cooking.
The first time I’d met her, I hadn’t been able to get a good look at her. Mostly because I’d been standing on the kitchen counter, terrified out of my mind by the rat. Also distracted by the fact I had just been dancing with Lucas—had been in his arms minutes before Alexia had knocked. But now, I noticed that she was in her early fifties, making Adele a little older than I’d initially thought.
Lucas looked at me over his shoulder and said, “Have a seat, Ro.”
Ro.
That nickname, again. Doing silly, silly things to me.
“I’m okay,” I replied, keeping the effect in check as best as I could.
“I’m sure you are. But it’ll be good for your back. I’ve seen how tense those shoulders are from writing all day.” He followed that with a quick wink, leaving me no choice but to obey before I fell on my ass.
I’ve seen how tense those shoulders are.
I took the only other stool left in the kitchen and sat next to Adele.
“Good,” he muttered before returning to the pan at the stove. “Okay, ladies, a few more minutes and this will be ready.”
A happy sigh left all of us at the same time.
I laughed and when I looked in Lucas’s direction, I caught Alexia’s eyes on me, holding back a smile. “You’re a lucky girl, Rosie.”
My puzzled expression must have given away my total confusion because she explained, “Men like Lucas are hard to find.”
I started nodding but stopped myself quickly. “Oh no. We’re just friends. We’re not together. Just roommates. Friends.”
Alexia’s brows rose, and her eyes bounced to Lucas, who said in a confident voice, “Best friends, soon enough.”
“You keep saying that,” I murmured. “But either way, us living here is all temporary. I’ll return to my apartment and he’ll…” I trailed off, having a little trouble finishing that, “go back home. To Spain.”
Lucas’s motions seemed to come to a stop for a moment before he resumed chopping parsley.
Alexia nodded. “Too bad, really. We could use a man like him around.” She sighed. “The way he all but ran to Mom’s rescue… He really is a true hero.”
“What rescue?” I asked. “Did anything—”
“I was barely rattled, dear.” The old woman pursed her lips. “No need to fuss.”
“My mother here,” Alexia remarked, “left a pressure cooker sitting on the stove and went to take a thirty-minute bubble bath.”
Adele exhaled loudly. “The thing was malfunctioning. And the long baths are good for my bones.”
“Lucas must have heard the explosion,” Alexia explained, ignoring her mother. “Because when I got here to bring Mom her prescriptions, I found him scraping stew off the walls with Mom.”
“It was a small explosion,” Lucas finally said. “And it was no problem.”
“See?” Alexia laughed. “He won’t even take the credit. And believe me, that was a lot of cleaning. It was splattered all over the place.” She shook her head. “Guys like him…”
“Are very rare to find,” I finished for her.
Lucas’s motions halted again, making me wish he wasn’t facing away and I could see his face.
Something occurred to me. “So that’s why you guys are over for dinner?” Not only had Lucas gone to Adele’s rescue and helped with the cleaning but he’d offered to feed them afterward.
“Yes.” Alexia beamed. “We both were a little rattled after that. My wife will pick us up in an hour, though,” Alexia added. “Mom will come to stay with us for a few days, right, Mom?”
Adele sighed. “Not like I have a choice anyway.”
“Anyway,” Alexia said, angling her body in Lucas’s direction. “I have to admit that I’ve been driving myself crazy trying to figure out what apartment all these rich and distinctive scents came from every evening I’ve visited Mom. Most people do takeout around here.”
Lucas stepped back, turned off the stove, wrapped a cloth over the handle of a large cast-iron pan, and lifted it in the air.
“It was all Lucas, yes,” I said, not wanting her to get any ideas about my cooking talents.
He walked to the island, where Adele and I were, and placed the pan between us. Seared steaks dressed with red chimichurri glistened under the kitchen light, making my stomach growl.
Alexia joined us at the table, and with only two stools available, I jumped off mine and offered it to her. “Please, sit. You’re a guest.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to—”
“Rosie can sit with me,” Lucas announced.
Frowning, I turned around and found him holding a folding stool in his hand. “Where—”
“Found it behind a cabinet,” he said, unfolding its legs. “Just the one, so we’ll share it.”
“I don’t know…” I eyed him as he flopped down.
I couldn’t sit in his lap, could I? He had an injury I didn’t know the extent of.
As if he had a way to peek into my head, he gave two firm pats to his left thigh. “This one’s fine,” he said. “Now come here, Ro. Let’s eat, I’m starving.”
It was the determination in his gaze that pushed me forward. The way he looked at me like I’d be doing something for him if I gave him this one thing. So, I walked all the way to where he was and I let myself fall on his lap. In a nanosecond, Lucas wrapped a strong arm around my waist and squeezed lightly. “Cronut you,” he said, so low I almost missed it.
And that code for thank you that was just ours, did something to me, something powerful and not at all expected. Something that made me wish it was code for something other than thank you.
I tried to focus on the amazing food laid out in front of us instead of on the man whose lap I was currently sitting on. “This all looks incredible, Lucas.”
I felt more than heard his sigh of relief, right there, very close to my ear. And my body immediately reacted to the contact of his breath against my skin. So much that he probably felt it because he told me, “Eat.”
“Oh Lord, these sweet potatoes.” Alexia moaned. “What’s this sauce? Yogurt with…”
“Roasted garlic, lemon, and tahini,” Lucas answered as he drizzled some of the sauce Alexia was praising over my potatoes.
Alexia stoked her mouth with a new bite. “You roasted the whole head with the potatoes. Then used it for the sauce?” Lucas nodded and she added, “Well played.”
And just like that, Alexia took over the conversation, interrogating Lucas about each and every step he had followed with the searing of the meat, the red chimichurri, and what I’d discovered was our dessert: rhubarb and pear milhojas. Which happened to be an absolutely delicious twist on a Spanish dessert.
“Okay,” Alexia said once all the food was gone and the dessert plates were wiped clean. “I suspected you knew what you were doing, but I had no idea you were this good.”
Lucas answered with a grunt and a shift of his body that brought me further into his lap. I tried to shift away, but his arm secured me against his chest, every part of me that was in contact with every part of him coming alive.
“So, what’s your deal, Lucas?” Alexia pressed, while I tried to catch my breath. “You work at a restaurant back in Spain? Attending cooking school by any chance?”
Lucas let out an incredulous laugh. “None of that. I never considered cooking school. Never had… the time, I guess.”
“You could go, now. If that’s what you wanted,” I said, not able to help myself. “You’re an amazing cook, Lucas.”
His hand tightened on my waist, his body heat now impossible to ignore. His tone softened when he told me, “Thank you, Ro. But… I don’t know. I’m a little old for school.”
“You’re not too old.” Alexia’s eyes narrowed. “Where did you learn to cook like this? The all-butter flaky pastry from the milhojas was divine and definitely not store bought. And that wasn’t your first time prepping a sirloin. I’ve seen sirloins being assassinated by people who attended school.”
Lucas’s palm fell on my thigh, making me catch my breath. “I learned from my abuela, my mother… I don’t know, everywhere. I’m self-taught, I guess. I like to experiment, try new things. There’s a wild amount of information online. So, I just… you know, learned on the go. Nothing fancy or worth comparing to someone with an education. Or someone with any real talent. My call is—was something else.”
I disagreed, Lucas wasn’t defined by one single thing, but I remained quiet and let my hand fall on top of his. He twined his fingers with mine, and I swore all my nerve endings flared at that simple contact.
Which was why I almost missed Alexia’s next words.
“I’m the executive chef of Zarato, so I know what I’m talking about. You are talented. Cooking school wouldn’t be a walk in the park, because it never is. But it’s not out of your reach.”
“Oh, whoa,” I breathed out. Turning to look at Lucas over my shoulder, I explained, “Zarato is the hotspot in the West Village. People wait months to get a reservation. I think it’s in the top three restaurants in New York right now.”
Alexia chuckled. “Top five, but the competition is savage in Manhattan, so you never know where you’ll drop down to when the next year rolls.”
She was being humble. If even I—someone who didn’t know a thing about cuisine and only dined out on occasion—had heard of and longed to live the Zarato experience, that meant the buzz around the place was as strong as it could get.
“That’s truly amazing,” Lucas said, and I could hear in his voice that he meant every word. He turned to Adele. “You must be so proud of your daughter.”
“I couldn’t be any prouder,” Adele answered, her eyes watering. “But you know that don’t you, Mateo?”
A silence settled around us at Adele’s words, who had remained quiet during dinner, the atmosphere immediately turning heavy with the reminder of Adele’s looming illness.
“Yeah,” Lucas finally said. “Of course, we are.”
Alexia threw an arm around her mom, squeezed her shoulders, and mouthed a thank you at Lucas. Then, she said more firmly, “And Lucas, I’m serious. I know how to spot talent. That’s how I met my wife. She started low in the kitchen, all raw potential, and now she’s the sous chef at Zarato, so you never know.” She tilted her head. “You know, I think you two should come. It’ll be on the house, for everything you’ve done.”
Oh, oh wow.
“You don’t have to, Alexia,” Lucas answered, voicing my thoughts. Although I could hear a spark of curiosity in his words. “It’s really okay.”
“I insist,” she answered firmly. Then, she pulled out a card from her bag, placed it on the table, and added, “Rosie will love it.” As if that fact changed something.
And Lucas’s hand left mine and reached out for the card.
It was much, much later, well into the night, when a noise woke me. It was like a whimper, but deeper. Guttural.
At first, I thought I was dreaming, but then, the sound came again. That time louder. More urgent.
I sat up in bed, surveying the dimly lit space, stopping where I knew Lucas would be asleep on the couch. Only he wasn’t. He couldn’t be sleeping, shifting so restlessly.
Another whimper left him, now tangling with his rocky breathing, and it froze me on the spot. Because it sounded like… like he was struggling to get air into his lungs. Like he couldn’t breathe.
Icy fear propelled me off the bed and forward. Until I was kneeling on the floor by the couch.
I whispered, “Lucas?” But Lucas thrashed from one side to the other as my hands reached out to his shoulders. I rose my voice to a gentle but firm tone. “Lucas, wake up.”
He muttered something, but it must have been in Spanish, because it was something I didn’t understand.
With all the gentleness I could muster, I trailed my hands up, all the way to his cheeks. “Lucas, please. You need to wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”
His jerky motions came to a sudden stop, and his eyes blinked wide open, revealing two brown wells of fear.
My chest constricted at the sight, finding it hard to put up a calm front for him, and even harder not to think about how much I cared for him and how much I hated seeing him in pain.
“You were having a bad dream,” I told him, the nerves creeping into my voice. “But it’s all right, now. You’re awake.”
His gaze started clearing very, very, slowly. But the fear, the despair, was still there. Etched into his expression.
My grip on his face grew a little desperate. “You’re fine. It was a bad dream, but you’re okay,” I repeated.
Lucas’s palm fell on top of my hand. His skin was cool, damp.
“Rosie,” he breathed out. “You’re here.” No explanation, no smile, no attempt to brush it away with a joke.
“Scoot over,” I told him, so I could climb on the couch with him.
Without a word Lucas moved as much as he could while remaining on his back. I lay down, facing him, tucking myself into his side. I locked one of my arms around him. His shirt stuck to his chest.
“I’m all sweaty, Rosie. I—”
“It’s all right,” I said, scooting even closer and letting my fingers draw soothing circles over his chest. “I like my men sweaty and sleepy,” I told him. “So go back to sleep. I’m here now.”
Lucas didn’t say a word, didn’t move a muscle. He didn’t even try to squeeze me against his body, like he had done so many times before. And that was okay. Because right now, he was the one who needed me. So I stayed right where I was. My body hanging on the very edge of the couch as I warmed his body with mine. My touch and voice somehow soothing him back to sleep.
Only when his breath fell into a slow rhythm, did I relax. But I stayed awake for a long time. Thinking, keeping watch, I recalled my conversation with Lina. Lucas, always on his own, isolating himself now, not confiding in anyone. I thought about how he always gave away his smiles so selflessly. About how much he had given me in the short amount of time we’d known each other. And as I held him, I couldn’t help but wonder if someone had ever done the same for him.