Chapter 11
Clarabella
The soft knock has me looking away from the mirror to the door. I pick up the bottom of my dress to turn and start walking to the door. All I wanted was a couple of minutes to push down the nerves, the jitters, but all I got were a couple of seconds. I guess I should be happy that they gave me at least that. "You've been gone for one minute," I say, pulling open the door, expecting it to be one of my sisters, but it isn't. It's a woman standing there, holding a baby in her arms. She has long black hair in a braid, the tail over her shoulder. Her brown eyes look very tired and are bloodshot to show that she has been crying. "I'm sorry,” I say, confused as to why she is here. "Are you lost?" I look around the empty hallway, wondering if she is stuck, but it's empty, the side door still closed.
"No," she says, her voice coming out soft, and the baby squirms in her arms. She looks down at the baby wrapped in a blue blanket. I don't know much about babies, but I don't think this baby is very old. "You must be Clarabella." She says my name, and the hand that is still holding the door handle is now in a death grip. My heart starts to speed up a touch as the blood feels like it's draining through my body. I can't explain how I know this will be a moment I remember forever, but I do.
"I am," I confirm to her, my arm dropping from the handle of the door. My body feels as if it's slowly detaching, and I'm watching a movie. A movie that I don't want to be a part of. Like a horror film, when you scream, “don't go in the building,” but they go in there anyway. That is exactly how I'm feeling now. My mouth suddenly goes dry when I ask the question my head has been screaming since I opened the door and saw her. "And you are?"
"I'm Louise," she replies softly. "May I come in?" she asks, and my head screams no, but my mouth doesn't catch up with my head.
"Sure," I say, moving my dress out of the way to give her some space to walk in. "Are you a friend of Edward’s?" I ask, thinking that maybe she is here for the wedding, but her attire of black leggings and a white T-shirt tells me otherwise.
"You can say that," she responds and stops in the middle of the room. Her head moves around, taking in everything before she says, "I need a minute of your time, and then I'll be gone." She turns to look at me. The tears run down her face freely as she holds the baby close to her chest.
"Are you okay?" I ask, suddenly worried for her. "Do you need water or something?"
She shakes her head. "This would be a lot easier if you weren't so nice to me," she admits, her voice cracking as she looks down at the baby in her arms. The love is written all over her face.
My hands start to shake now, my head putting the pieces together, but my heart does not believe it. "Listen, I don't know what is going on," I say. The sound of my heart beating fills my ears. "But as you can see, I'm about to walk down the aisle."
Her eyes roam from my head to the bottom of my dress. "Oh, I know," she says, smiling. "Trust me, I know."
My head is spinning right now, and I'm two seconds away from telling her to fuck off, but there is something inside me that stops. "My name is Louise." She repeats her name, and she just looks at me. I say her name in my head, trying to place her, but come up empty. "Well, from what I see on your face, I'm assuming you don't know about me." I can't answer her, nothing comes out, but my head shakes from side to side. "This is Edward," she announces, looking down at the baby, and everything stops in time. I feel the air in the room stand still. Time literally stands still. The only thing that doesn't stand still is the beating of my heart. "He's a month old today," she says, her voice filling with pride.
The feeling I had before comes back tenfold. My hand goes to my stomach now as it dips and rises. Almost as if the storm is coming, and my stomach is the waves picking up. I think I'm going to throw up. Louise doesn't wait for me to talk. Instead, she just goes ahead and continues her story.
"I met Edward four years ago," she starts. "I fell in love with him after the first date." She wipes the tear rolling down her face. "I never had anyone treat me with so much love and affection before. He was the Prince Charming that they talked about in Disney movies." I try to swallow, but my mouth is dry, and the lump in my throat grows bigger and bigger. My dress feels like it is squeezing my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. "He took me home to meet his parents, and they didn't exactly approve of me. I didn't have an education like they thought I should. My parents were in and out of my life, and I was a server." I swear my breathing comes out in pants now, or at least that is what it feels like.
"So he decided to hide our relationship, and I agreed with him at the beginning. It made it better, to be honest, there were no disapproving phone calls when we were together. No one to tell me exactly why we couldn't be together. We were living with each other, and his family had no idea." I close my eyes for a minute, each and every single word that she is saying is like a stab to my heart. Every single word sinking in more and more, and the only thing I think is that it's all been a lie. "But then they found out, and they gave him an ultimatum. It was them or me." She takes a big breath.
"So he chose them. Even though I hoped he would choose me and stand up to them. I knew that the choice would be them. After all, Edward was living off them. They supported him; they still support him. They would cut him off if he didn't break it off with me." My head spins around as I think back to the conversation I had with him about his family, especially his parents. I met his parents only a handful of times because they traveled so much. His father was a retired stockbroker, and his mother was a stay-at-home mom. "So, he moved me into a little apartment an hour away from them, and every single Thursday night, he would show up and stay until Monday." I swear the room is spinning, but it's just the beginning of the tip of the iceberg.
"When I told him I was pregnant, he was happy, so happy." She smiles through the tears at the memory she has of them. She leans forward and kisses the baby on his head. "I don't know why but I thought having his baby would change things. But one week turned into another week. Every single time he promised he would tell his parents about the baby, he came back and said it wasn't the right time. There was never a good time. But then, six months ago, he started acting strange." My knees start to shake, knowing that this is when we met. "And standoffish, I thought it was because he was nervous about the baby. But then the weekend trips would be canceled at the last minute, and instead, he would come by during the week. I knew in my bones that something was going on. So a month ago, I followed him one day and saw you walking out of your house. He ran up the stairs to greet you and handed you a bouquet of sunflowers." The memory of that day comes back, he was gone all week and was supposed to come back on Wednesday, but his trip got extended. The sunflower bouquet was in his hand as he apologized over and over again. "I drove back home that day. My heart broke that he was lying to me. Broken that I put all this faith in him, and every single time he just broke my heart. Broken that the family I envisioned giving our son was over. I think all the stress and the nerves pushed me into labor. I called him as soon as I was admitted to the hospital. It went straight to voice mail, and when he finally called me back, I was almost five centimeters. He made it there in time to see Edward being born." She looks down at her son, who sleeps in her arms as she sobs.
The memory of that day again, piecing all together; he walked out of the room two hours after he got home, and when he walked back into the room, he was as white as a ghost. An emergency had come up, and he had no choice but to go. I never even questioned him, never even thought anything of it. I was a fool. "I tried to keep my calm, but with all the hormones in me, I confronted him about you, but he said it was just a fling. He would end it with you, and then the three of us would be a family. I was stupid and naïve to think he was telling me the truth. But he started coming around more and more, spending all week with me. A couple of weeks ago, he was in the shower, and his phone beeped." I can't even imagine what she saw. "There in the middle of my living room while I was nursing our son, you sent him a message informing him that he needed to go for his suit fitting so it would be ready for the wedding.”
"Oh my God." That’s the only thing I hear, and it's from Shelby and Presley, who are now standing in the doorway. Louise looks over at them, and the fear fills her face, and I can tell she wants to run.
"These are my sisters." Those are the only words that come out of my mouth. "Come in and close the door, please." My voice is almost robotic as Shelby and Presley come in, closing the door behind them. Shelby's eyes never leave me as Presley walks over to the table and grabs a water bottle. "How much did you hear?" I ask them, not sure I can see them through the tears filling my eyes.
"Enough to get the whole picture,” Presley confirms, handing me the water bottle, and my hand comes up, but it's shaking like a leaf. I can't even hold the bottle, so I shoo it away.
"I'm sorry," Louise whispers as her shoulders start to shake. "He doesn't know I'm here, and to be honest, I don't know what he will say, but I figured that if it were me and I was marrying Edward, I would want to know."
Shelby looks at her. "Do you want something to drink?" she asks her, and Louise just shakes her head.
Louise reaches around her and grabs a white envelope out of her back pocket. "I didn't know if you would believe me"—she holds the envelope for me—"so I had these printed so you would see."
My hand moves on its own accord, reaching out for the envelope. It's almost similar to the one that I opened not too long ago with the diamond bracelet. I pull open the flap in the back and take out the stack of pictures. The first one is of Louise and Edward with the baby in her arms. It was when she gave birth to him. Edward with his arm around her shoulders as she holds the baby to her chest. The tears stream down her face. I take a minute to look into his eyes, wondering if I would see anything, but nothing is there. I slip to the next picture, and it's Edward wearing shorts, sitting on a couch with the baby on his chest as he bends to kiss the child's head.
The last picture is of their gender reveal, both of them holding something in their hand as blue confetti falls down on them. Her face is filled with happiness as well as his, and when my eyes find the date, I almost drop the picture because he proposed two days later.
"My number is on the back of the picture," she says. "I know you must be in shock, and it's a lot to take in. I don't know if you'll marry him or not." She shrugs. "All I know is that you deserve to know." She moves the baby, placing him up higher. "I'm going to go." She looks at my sisters and then at me. "Thank you for not kicking me out," she tells them, and they just smile sadly at her. "I've been the second choice for a long time." She smiles through tears. "I won't be that anymore. I deserve better." She kisses her son's head. "He deserves better." She takes one more look at me and then turns to walk out of the room. The door closes behind her at the same time that the pictures fall from my hands.