ELEVEN
“So, I’ve gotta tell you, I think Ben is perfect for you,” I said that morning to a sleepy Eric as we got coffee in Liverpool Street Station.
“Nuh-uh, don’t do that shit. You’re better than this.” He took a large bite of his muffin, sunglasses on, looking both effortlessly cool and incredibly hungover. “Every straight girl wants the only two gays she knows to get together. The fact that we both sleep with men is not enough of a connection.”
“Good enough for your usual hookups,” Tola quipped, reapplying her lipstick using the camera on her phone. Today it was a lavender color, blocky like a crayon. It matched the lilac fanny pack worn over her denim dungaree minidress. She looked like she was off to a festival, and yet the minute she handed anyone a card with the words Social Media Expert, they’d get it. I, of course, was in my usual black with my usual lipstick. I’d added a pair of gold lightning bolt earrings just for a bit of boldness. Teddy Bell needed to know I wasn’t messing around.
If I could convince the old dinosaur to stay, even though I thought he was an uninspired husk, it would be a triumph. I wanted to return like a conqueror, to throw down his business card on Felix’s desk tomorrow morning and say, “See, didn’t even break a sweat. Give me the branding role, you know I deserve it. Let me run the team! I’ve got this!”
But I was glad I had the guys with me for support. Teddy Bell was not an easy man to have a conversation with. There was a reason Hunter always met him on the golf course, half-lit and willing to pay for flattery. But I could handle it, I knew I could.
“It’s not like that. I just think he’s wonderful,” I said, turning the conversation back to Ben. “And seeing as you’re going to meet him in a few minutes, I thought I’d pre-warn you.”
“Fine.” Eric flicked his hand at me. “Go ahead, pitch him.”
“What?”
“He’s a product you think will change my life, pitch him.”
“Great hair, horn-rimmed glasses, fit, like if the class nerd suddenly started putting in time at the gym. Knows great places to eat and is funny without being bitchy.”
Eric raised an eyebrow. “Why does that last bit feel like a pointed attack?”
“Because it is,” I laughed. “He’s just really nice, and he has his life together. He loves his flat and he’s got a sweet little beagle, and he knows how to make a great cocktail.”
“So what’s wrong with him? Why’s he single?”
Tola raised a perfect eyebrow and looked unimpressed. “What, so every single person is damaged goods?”
“Um, yes,” Eric sighed, “obviously. Look at us. Except you, Tola, you’re just young and living your life.”
Tola nodded and resumed fixing her makeup. “Thanks, babe.”
“Hey!” I half laughed. “Excuse me!”
Eric looked, pushing his sunglasses down his nose. “Do you really want me to start on you?”
I sighed. “The only thing that might be wrong with him is that he’s so loyal to Dylan, even though the company is a shambles.”
He snorted. “Ah, one of those fake weaknesses that’s actually a positive trait. You are too much, Aly, really. Leave me to my meaningless sex and let me get my own dog. I’ll be my own happy ever after, thank you very much. I don’t need some sad setup.”
That was when I saw Dylan across the concourse. He was wearing a similar suit to that first time I saw him with Nicki. Blue with a striped shirt, but this time his collar was done up, and he wore a navy tie and an anxious frown. He looked professional, and I didn’t let my thoughts stray any further than that. Though I liked that he wasn’t completely clean-shaven; it gave him a little edge.
Next to him, Ben looked stylish in his own way, subtle brown tweed trousers and waistcoat, a cream shirt, and his hands in his pockets as he walked along. Simply handsome, like he’d just walked out of a 1940s movie. Timeless. I waited for Eric’s response, and I wasn’t disappointed.
His jaw dropped. “That was who you were talking about? The fair one?”
I nodded, and he grasped my hand.
“I want him.”
“He’s not a pony,” Tola snorted, but peered over her own shades. “Cute, though.”
They paused and waved across the concourse, and I was thrilled to see Priya hurrying through the crowds, looking effortlessly cool in blue flared linen trousers, white trainers, and cream shirt, huge sunglasses on her head. I waved and grinned, so pleased she’d be with us after all.
“I apologize for every stupid thing I said before,” Eric rambled as they approached. “Please be nice!”
“Not that you deserve it,” I said out of the corner of my mouth, through a gritted-teeth smile, turning to face them. “Hi! Excited for a day of geeking out over tech stuff?”
“You have no idea.” Ben kissed my cheek and gave me a warm smile. “I’ve wanted to go every year and we never quite got round to it, did we, Dyl?”
Dylan nodded, that nervous look on his face as he squared his shoulders. “Should be good.” He paused and looked at me, taking in my sixties-style black dress with the Peter Pan collar. Tola called it “Boss Bitch with a dash of whimsy.”
“You look nice,” he said, and the surprise in his voice made it clear he hadn’t intended to say anything at all. I waited for some sort of punch line, but there was none, so my silence sort of hung there, making it awkward.
I recovered and gave him a sarcastic salute. “Only the best for you, boss.”
Dylan frowned at me as Ben guffawed, and I realized I’d just snapped his olive branch in half. Oops. I turned to Priya, desperate to shift the focus elsewhere.
“You made it! You look amazing!” I grinned, and she twirled, hands raised like a princess.
“Amazing what you can do when you haven’t got a little shit monster spitting sweet potato all over you.” She smiled back, and nudged the boys with her elbows. “Besides, these guys get to do all the fun stuff. I didn’t want to miss out this time.”
“I’m glad! This is Tola. That’s Eric.” I gestured. “My colleagues.”
“Her lackeys,” Eric corrected as he looked at Ben, a slight pout appearing that I’d never seen before.
I noticed Ben consider him, before pointing out Tola’s fanny pack. “I love it, it reminds me of clubbing in my twenties. Only the essentials.”
“Exactly,” Tola said, seamlessly opening it and reaching in. “Gum, anyone?”
“Ooh, me!” Priya held her hand up and stepped toward Tola. “You look like a woman who has all the answers.”
Tola grinned. “I like that a lot.”
We took over an area of the train, and I tried to stop my leg twitching. I was going through my notes on Teddy Bell, what to say, how to play it. I’d made flash cards to remember all the points, so I knew I could change tack if he didn’t go for my first approach. The others all sat at the table opposite, and I gave myself space, saying I needed some time to focus and prepare. They all seemed to be having fun, even Dylan. Watching him with my friends and his, I could forget the tension between us. Like he could be the old him, as long as I wasn’t involved.
“Is that BigScreen?” I heard a voice and looked up to see Dylan sliding into the chair opposite me and picking up one of my flash cards. “Teddy Bell.”
“You know him?”
“They call him ‘Dinosaurus Tech.’ ” He shrugged, eyes focused on the table, hands splayed over the cards, as if when he looked up the truce would be broken. “Most companies fall away when they don’t adapt, and his will, too, eventually. It’s too expensive to produce the machinery, so he hasn’t got many competitors. No need to be innovative or creative. No one snapping at his heels, or making him wonder if he’s making the right decisions.”
“No, not unless you count my colleague who came on to his wife,” I said lightly, tapping the cards with my forefinger.
“Ah, you’re on damage control. Of course.”
“Of course?”
“Fixing other people’s messes,” he said, “classic Aly.”
He lounged back in his chair, arms stretched above his head. It was so odd to see him look so young, dressed like a grown-up but slouching like a teenager.
“Teddy’s known for his ego. He wants what other people have. Sounds like him and your colleague have that in common,” he said. “You want to dangle something exclusive in front of him.”
I wondered if Nicki knew how astute her boyfriend really was. I nodded my thanks, desperate not to breathe the wrong way and screw it all up. The last few moments had felt like a balm.
“Will you take my advice?” he asked, and I nodded.
“Thanks.”
He tapped the table twice and went to move, but paused. “I took your advice, too.”
I saw Tola and Priya watching us carefully. “About what?”
“You said Nicki uses social media as a form of connection. She gives people something, even if it’s just her opinions.”
He slid his phone across to me, and there was his first social media post: a photo of him making a face, holding a giant block of cheese. Hi, my name is Dylan James, and I really like Gouda.
I snorted, but by the time I looked up, the phone was whipped away, and he was down the aisle in search of coffee. But it felt like a tiny moment of progress, and I let it warm me. Tola tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, and I shook the smile from my face. Dylan was a project, he was taking my advice, and we were going in the right direction. That was all I needed to focus on. Well, that and Dinosaurus Tech.
Priya rested her chin on her hand and looked at me, as if she was trying to figure me out.
“What?”
“Absolutely nothing.” She grinned. “Just pleased to see my boss taking some much-needed direction, that’s all.”
You and me both, I wanted to say, but didn’t want to jinx it.
When we got to the conference, it was a messy free-for-all over croissants and coffee until the talks started. I beckoned Tola and Eric over to me, speaking quietly.
“We’re throwing them in at the deep end. They don’t know how to talk about what they’ve got. Keep an eye on them and send them a life jacket when necessary.”
Tola paused. “What about the other side of this deal?” She hummed the wedding march. “Business first, relationship chat with booze on the way home?”
Eric perked up, his gaze on Ben. “Well, that sounds like a brilliant plan.”
“Put your tongue back in your mouth. I thought you wanted real connections? You were tired of the hookups,” I reminded him.
“I am. I can still nurture a crush. They’re few and far between these days. Let me enjoy something!” Eric whined.
“Be a professional.” I nudged him with my elbow, then guided Dylan, Priya, and Ben over to someone I recognized. “Laney, hi! How’s it going? Have you met EasterEgg Development? They’re working on a counseling app for teens I think is going to fit so well into the self-care and resilience through tech market—zeitgeist for this year, right? Guys, why don’t you tell Laney a little more about it?” I turned back to them with a wide-eyed smile. “I’ve gotta run, but I’ll catch you later!”
“Knock ’em dead,” I said quietly to Dylan as I walked past and gave Tola a look. Don’t let them drown, but don’t jump in until they’re going under. In the meantime, I had a dinosaur to find.
Of course Teddy Bell had one of the last slots of the day, and so I had a lot of time to get nervous in between pivoting Dylan and Ben through the crowd and trying to actually do some work.
Felix called me, frustrated and wanting an update. “He won’t turn up until his slot, never watches anyone else’s talks, so you’ll have to get him after.”
“As I’ve discovered,” I said. “How’s our Prince Charming?”
Felix laughed. “Happy as a lamb. Although he’s sad he’s missing out on a golf buddy. I’ve taken him off the BigScreen account. He’s working with Matthew on the hair gel stuff. You’ll run BigScreen from now on.” Yes. Take that, you lazy, philandering, posh git with your too perfect hair and your terrible spelling. “You can handle that, right?”
“Of course,” I said, confident. I was pretty much redoing all of his work anyway.
“On a trial basis, Aly. After all, we don’t want you so busy you can’t take on further responsibilities, do we?” Felix said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Absolutely.” I grinned. “Is there anything else you want from me whilst I’m up here? I’m just checking in with our clients when I see them.”
“You’re a star. That’s all. Call me when you’ve spoken to Teddy.”
Felix was being entirely too nice to me, but I supposed that if I fixed this situation with Teddy before the Big Boss found out, I’d be saving his bacon, too.
I took a moment to check my work emails, for some reason hoping there might be some apology or appreciation from Hunter, but no. There were two emails from Matthew, asking what I thought of the print visuals and if I thought his tweet would go viral. The problem with some people was that they thought too small, too detailed. I was a fan of worrying, but sometimes you had to use your instincts. I’d been telling Matthew that since he joined, but he just didn’t trust himself yet.
I walked back over to see Tola watching from the coffee station as Dylan, Ben, and Priya chatted to someone from Google.
“How’re they doing?” I said as I sidled up, pouring myself a coffee.
“I think they might have actually perfected it. First one this morning was a rambling mess. Now they’re natural, calm, know what makes their thing cool.” Tola nodded with approval. “Good job.”
“That part isn’t the hard part.” I sighed, looking at Dylan.
He did look more relaxed, a smile on his face, a curl from his hair falling onto his forehead. His jacket hung over a chair, his sleeves were rolled up, and I watched as he spoke with his hands, explaining with enthusiasm. It was nice to see.
“Too much,” Tola said suddenly, “the staring, I mean.”
I blinked and looked at her in shock. “What?”
Her mouth curled into a smile. “Eric? Looking at Ben like he’s an ice cream that’s about to melt? Why, who did you think I was talking about?”
She knew exactly what she was doing.
“Don’t be mean. You’re not the one walking around with a ghost from your childhood who refuses to acknowledge you.”
“Oh, he does, babe. Just not when you’re looking. He has known where you are this entire time. The boy would make a good private detective. Maybe that’s why he hates social media, too much attention.” I tried to follow what she was saying, but the announcement came over the Tannoy for the next speaker, and I wanted to see what Teddy had to say. Plus, I had to catch him after his talk.
I signaled to the guys that I was going into the talk, but they seemed to take it that they had to follow me. And of course, as we were sliding into the aisles, Tola held back, forcing Dylan to sit next to me. He immediately crossed his arms, eyes focused on the stage. Great.
If that was how he was going to be, I wasn’t going to acknowledge him, either. I sat up straight, hands folded delicately on top of the notebook in my lap, attentive even as the stage was empty.
“Of course, star pupil,” he said under his breath, still not looking at me.
“Paying attention is polite,” I replied.
“There’s no one even up there yet,” Dylan said.
“Well, clearly I didn’t think I was going to get any riveting conversation from you,” I hissed. Because you won’t look at me. You won’t let me exist.
“Stop getting your knickers in a twist for a second. I can tell you exactly how this thing is going to go,” Dylan said, and turned toward me.
“What thing?” I breathed, hopeful.
We’re going to do this back-and-forth we do, Aly, and then we’re going to go back on the train and drink a bunch of stolen beers and laugh because we’ve both been so pigheaded. And then we’re going to be friends again, because I’ve missed you and you’ve missed me.
“Teddy Bell. He does this same talk every year,” Dylan whispered. I tried to stamp down on the disappointment.
“I thought you’d never been.”
“I haven’t, but you don’t need to, it’s legendary. Look around, the room is half-empty and the only people in here are the newbies to the industry. They don’t know what they’re in for. Someone uploads the video every year to YouTube. The only thing that changes is the color of his shirts.”
I snorted, turning my head toward Dylan. “Doesn’t surprise me. He’s not a man who likes change.”
Our eyes briefly met, as if in talking we’d forgotten we were meant to be angry at each other. I started turning away and could feel myself starting to blush. I’d forgotten how blue his eyes were.
He carried on talking, eyes back on the stage. As if he could pretend he was just talking to himself.
“He’ll open with how he started the company, even though it’s not a good story, then he’ll brag about how much money they’ve made, talk about how no one in the industry does what they do, which isn’t true, use the word ‘innovator’ a bunch of times, and then compare himself to Churchill and Steve Jobs in a truly awful double whammy to finish.”
“You guys really didn’t need my help at all, did you? You know what you’re doing.”
He paused and I saw him press his lips together, like he was trying to stop himself. “Sometimes you play a part for so long you forget it’s acting.”
And before I could ask anything else, darkness fell, and the stage lit up.
Dylan was completely right. Teddy droned on using the same tired language he’d been using for years, even the exact same PowerPoint presentation I think someone in our office had designed for him over a decade ago. And as I watched this little man stand with his chest puffed out and his legs apart, talking about how successful he was, how much money he made, I wondered if I even wanted this account. Maybe making Hunter deal with him would be punishment enough. But I deserved that promotion. Whether I wanted to or not, I was getting Teddy Bell onside.
He ran over by five minutes, and when everyone was squirming in their chairs because there were no questions, he asked himself some. When it finally ended to applause that could only be described as “polite,” I made a beeline for the front of the stage.
“Mr. Bell,” I said warmly, hand outstretched. “Great talk.”
“Why, thank you, young lady,” he said. “I think I know you from somewhere.”
“My name’s Aly Aresti, I’m from Amora Digital, your marketing firm? I’ve been working on your account for a few years now.”
He raised an eyebrow. “So I suppose you’re here to give me a spiel about loyalty?”
“I’m just here to offer our sincere apologies.” I held my hands up to show I was unarmed, before launching into my prepared talking points. “Personally, I’m embarrassed that we even need to have this conversation. What Hunter did was incredibly inappropriate, and the whole company is mortified.”
He frowned. “Is that right? So you think it’s terrible, what young Hunter did?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
Bell gave me a shrewd look. “I’ve been in business a long time, and forgive me for saying, but you seem a little naive.”
“I’m sorry?”
He made a gesture with his hands, like he was trying to find the words. “The world is a complex place, Miss Aresti, you can’t always trust the people you expect. I like Hunter, he reminds me a lot of me at that age. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Old enough to know better than to give inappropriate attention to a client’s spouse. So I take it you’re not upset with the situation, and I’ve wasted my journey here to apologize?”
That rattled him, as I’d intended. But it also let him know he was so special. I’d made this trip just for him. He’d dine out on that story for a few days, about how important he was that I’d been sent up to hunt him down and fall on my sword.
“Of course I’m upset, I’ve been betrayed!”
Now was the time for the understanding nods and equivalent shushing noises.
“Of course, and we are incredibly sorry for the disrespect. I’ll be taking over as your direct contact at the agency, and you won’t have to see Hunter again.”
He looked at me with a new level of respect, vaguely impressed. “Well, hasn’t that worked out well for you, Miss Aresti? Perhaps you’re not so green after all.”
“I’m not—”
“Nothing to be embarrassed about, my dear, it’s important to be cutthroat in business. So often, women are the best at the machinations and backstabbing that are necessary. It’s the way of the world.” He smiled at me, and I tried not to shudder, painting my face as serene and polite.
“That’s a . . . unique take on it, Mr. Bell.”
He waved away my words and stepped forward, taking my arm. “Teddy, please. Now, what is the agency willing to give me for the inconvenience and embarrassment?”
I smiled at him. Now we were talking my language. I launched into all the things I was already doing for his campaign, but framed it as if they were added. More advertising space, more print, more this, more that. He nodded and smiled, but I could tell he had no idea what we did for his company, he was only focused on the freebies. Funny how the ones with money always were.
“And, of course, Mr. Bell, when you get back to your office tomorrow morning, you’ll find a really excellent limited-edition single malt sitting on your desk. I know you’re a Glenfiddich man. Just a small thank-you for seeing me today.”
I watched as he smiled and grinned my work grin. You’re so special, so important. I had him. He thought he was the shark, but I was. I wanted to run a victory lap. Even as he shook my hand and told me he was looking forward to working together further, I was visualizing striding into Felix’s office tomorrow morning.
Bell was shaking my hand, his other hand on my arm, when I felt someone brush past, separating us. I turned in shock.
“Teddy! Teddy Bell, how fantastic.” Dylan arrived out of nowhere, leaning in to shake his hand, and somehow positioning himself between the two of us. “I see you’ve met my branding consultant, isn’t she brilliant?”
I wanted to tell Dylan none of this was necessary, but couldn’t get a word in.
“Do I know you, son?” Bell peered at Dylan in distrust.
“Dylan James, EasterEgg Development,” he replied smoothly.
“I’ve been hearing that name around a lot today.”
“Well, that’s good news. But we actually met last year, at the polo, I think it was? You know my girlfriend, Nicki Wetherington-Smythe.”
Bell’s face relaxed, and he actually looked sincere for a moment. It was an odd experience.
“Ah, little Nicolette, of course. She grew up into such a beautiful girl. And so successful.”
I nodded, about to try to remove us from the situation, but Dylan held his hand up behind his back, a silent warning to hold on.
“Yeah, you go way back with her Uncle Artie, right?”
Bell’s smile dropped and his voice took on a new tone. I didn’t like it. “We’re acquainted.”
“Well, Artie loves our Aly here.” Dylan put an arm around my shoulders, and I squeaked in surprise, stiff as a board. “Really invested in her personal happiness and her career. After all, she’s so clever, so many great ideas.”
“Oh, lots of great ideas,” Bell said faintly and then recovered himself. “She’s going to be running my account from now on.”
“Well, then, you’re incredibly lucky! We’ve only managed to hire her for a few weeks, but her input has been invaluable. I can’t imagine what a huge company like you could do with all that talent. We’re small fry, but you guys, you could really dominate the market.”
“We already do,” Bell said stiffly, but I could tell he was bored of the conversation.
“For now, but you’ve always gotta be one step ahead, right?” Dylan said with a smile, then looked at his watch. “Sorry, Teddy, was great to chat, but I’m going to have to steal Aly away. We’ve got a train to catch. Did you get everything you needed from her?”
Bell looked between the two of us, trying to understand the relationship, but eventually gave up.
“I look forward to our next meeting, Miss Aresti. You’ve impressed me.” He looked at Dylan, distrustful. “Make sure you continue to make good choices.”
He walked off, and we watched silently until he’d exited the conference room. I pulled away from Dylan’s arm.
“What the hell was that?” I huffed, marching away toward the exit.
“You clearly needed rescuing! You’re a people pleaser, and that man is . . . not a good guy. Who knows what could have happened?” Dylan ran a hand through his hair, half yelling.
“I know what could have happened because I was the one running the situation.” I kept my voice low. “You realize I’m a grown professional? I’m actually quite good at my job. Which you might notice if you weren’t undermining me at every possible moment.”
Dylan shook his head, clenching his teeth. “This isn’t about me. I know that guy. I know exactly who that guy is. What he’s capable of.”
I met his eyes. “But you don’t know me.” Anymore. “You don’t know what I’m capable of.”
I took a breath and raised my chin. “I am a valued and respected member of my team. I took this task because I thought I could get you guys something out of it. You’re welcome, by the way.”
“What is happening right now? I thought I was helping!” Dylan threw his hands up. “I don’t get this.”
“You don’t get this? You’re the one playing whatever weird game this is!” I tried not to screech, but I saw him chuckle before he could hide it. Oh, great. Now he’d won the game.
He took a breath, stepping back from me, hands up. I’m retreating, don’t shoot.
“Look, Aly. I didn’t mean to suggest you couldn’t handle yourself.” He paused. “The way he was crowding you, I assumed . . .”
I nodded, trying to regulate my breathing. We’d come so close to finally acknowledging everything, and the chance was passing us by. “Okay, fine. Let’s move on. What was all that stuff about Uncle Artie?”
Dylan snorted and looked at the floor. “Artie is a bookie Nicki’s dad uses. I think he used to work in the stock market, an old Italian guy in a three-piece suit and bowler hat. Proper gent.”
I twirled my finger to say, yeah, go on.
“Rumor has it Artie’s mafia, and he’s very protective of the womenfolk. Doesn’t like to hear of any scummy behavior, capiche?”
Jeez, how did Nicki keep that connection from the reality TV shows and celeb mags?
“And is he mafia?”
Dylan shook his head, snorting. “He’s just watched The Godfather a few too many times. I think he started the rumor himself for a little bit of drama. It’s really boring being retired, apparently.”
I snorted. “Okay, well that’s . . . interesting. But Bell was a perfect gentleman, he was completely professional.”
“Hmm.” Dylan clearly didn’t believe me. “Just make sure your meetings are group ones, that’s all I’m saying.”
I sighed. “You really know how to make a girl feel like her work doesn’t matter, you know?”
He snorted. “What do you think I’ve been trying to do all week?”
I laughed, too surprised to respond, and he grinned at the look on my face.
“So are we good to go now?”
“Was there anything else you wanted from here?” I asked as we started walking, side by side, a tender peace negotiated.
“Well, now that you mention it, I think we should sneak some of the happy hour complimentary beer for the train ride home.”
I laughed, desperate to say classic Dylan or of course you do.
But instead I just nodded. “Sounds exactly like what a good start-up would do. Shoestring budget and innovation.”
Something loosened between us after that. As if we didn’t have to keep circling and growling at each other. We knew we were safe enough for the time being. As long as we didn’t mention the past.
On the train journey home, I became part of the group, welcomed in among the laughter and teasing. Eric still had his eyes glued to Ben at all times, to the extent that I wanted to tell him he was getting a little creepy. Ben kept giving him these searching glances, as if he was trying to figure out who was underneath. Priya kept looking at them, and back to me, as if to confirm that something was definitely going on there.
“So how are we going to punish Hunter?” Tola asked, and I growled a little. Dylan popped the cap off another beer bottle and handed it to me. I was still getting used to him being polite. It was odd.
“Thanks.” I paused. “Um. Well, obviously I need to get this promotion and then have the power to boss him around all the time. I might also shred all his cravats.”
Eric laughed. “Aly, guys like Hunter . . . he’ll still be turning up asking you to do things and acting like he’s doing you a favor, no matter your title. It’s the level of privilege. It’s inbuilt.”
“Oh.” I frowned. “So I’m going to have to kill him?”
“Your best bet is placing some sort of heiress in front of him so he fucks off to Dubai to live the life he’s always expected. One with minimal work, minimal consequences, and lots of shopping.” Eric laughed.
“I’d watch that movie,” Priya said, then yawned. “I mean, I’d fall asleep halfway through and miss the ending, but anything with a manipulative woman and an idiot man is a winner.”
“Does Nicki have any heiress friends?” Ben smiled and Dylan laughed.
“I think most of her friends are from TV, not the heiress circuit.”
“The KLP,” Tola said, almost wistful. “It’s amazing what she’s done, becoming a name in and of herself. I did one of my college presentations on Nicki. It was called ‘From Cat Shit to Top Dog.’ ”
“You’re kidding!” I turned to her, grinning. “I didn’t know that!”
“Well, it was a short course in social media, it wasn’t like a whole uni thing.” Tola shrugged and smiled, before turning to the others. “I focused more on life experience than grades. But now I kinda wish I’d had the chance for that. Everyone else always talks about uni like it’s the best time.”
Nope. I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s true for everyone. Besides, you went off to New York by yourself at eighteen and became a costume designer. Beats living on noodles and reading Kafka.”
Eric shook his head, too. “I liked the studying, but . . . I spent a lot of time trying to be what other people wanted. It wasn’t what I imagined.”
“I dropped out,” Dylan said suddenly, making eye contact with me. “I’d been excited at the beginning, but it became clear that I wasn’t good enough and I wasn’t as interested as other people. I didn’t fit. I just felt stupid all the time. So I dropped out and moved in with some random guys.” He paused, before laughing to the others. “Which, if you’d seen the state of what was growing in that kitchen, wasn’t exactly a prime choice, either. But it was good, stopped me wallowing. Stopped me worrying that . . . that I’d disappointed people who’d believed in me. I felt like I’d let them down.”
He waited for me to say something, and I offered half a smile. “If you did the right thing for you, then no one has any right to be disappointed. Besides, I bet all those people had idealized views of university life anyway. Look how far you’ve come without it.”
Everyone else looked at us, falling silent.
Ben was the first one to break. “Okay, what’s happening here? You guys have been mortal enemies since you set eyes on each other, and now everything is friendly. What gives?”
Dylan shrugged. “I guess I just needed to see Aly in action to trust she knew what she was doing.”
“And I just needed Dylan to trust I knew what I was doing,” I supplied, backing up the lie.
Priya and Ben exchanged a look but said nothing.
Tola raised an eyebrow at me, coughed. She was right, we needed to get on with the relationship stuff. Three weeks to perfect a business pitch was fine. Three weeks to ensure a proposal was harder.
“What’s Nicki up to today?” I said, changing the subject so quickly I was surprised they didn’t get whiplash. “She seems like a busy woman.”
Dylan sighed, looking out of the window. “Well, I woke up at six to her talking to her fans again, this time about her favorite pajama brand for an ad. Then she videoed herself washing her face from a bunch of different angles, and I left just as she was setting up her bedroom for some sort of photo shoot including three hundred pounds’ worth of rose gold foil balloons and a puppy she rented for the day.”
Tola’s eyes widened in alarm, but she tried to soften his clear derision. “That must take so much effort.”
“You mean getting up at five to do her ‘natural’ makeup so she can wash it off in her ‘ordinary morning routine’?” Dylan laughed, peeling at the label on the beer bottle. “I just didn’t realize how much of social media was a lie before. People would say, ‘Oh, that’s fake,’ and I’d think, ‘No, why would it be, who would go to all that effort?’ And then I realized: Nicki would.”
Ben nudged him. “Yes, poor you with your rich, famous, beautiful girlfriend who takes you to insane restaurants and on fancy holidays and provides you with wonderful branding consultants.”
Dylan suddenly looked at me, as if remembering I was on another team. God, if only he knew.
“It’s not that I’m not grateful, I just . . . I thought even with influencers, even with someone who’s a bit famous, there’d be parts of your relationship that weren’t on display.”
“Yeah”—Ben clapped him on the shoulder—“that thirty-minute Instagram story she did on your sex life last week was a bit harsh.” He grinned widely, laughing at Dylan’s face. “I’m joking! See, she has boundaries!”
“Maybe . . .” I started, then paused, biting my lip, as if I wasn’t sure whether to share my idea. Whether we were there yet in our delicate truce. I waited for Dylan to push me, and of course he did.
“Maybe?”
“Maybe she would back off a bit if you give her a little of yourself in front of that audience? She’s a woman in love, she’s proud of you. Pop up and say hi in one of her videos, and maybe she’ll step back with some of the other stuff. After all, you’ve made such good progress with your first post.”
I offered him a soft smile, and he didn’t quite return it, but the hard set to his mouth wasn’t there anymore.
“And it might be good for the app, right?” Tola added, building on what I’d said. I smiled at her, grateful. “Nicki’s got millions of followers. It’s easy to dismiss it when it’s your girlfriend, but that’s literally what influencer marketing is for. Get her to build a real buzz.”
Dylan looked to Ben, seeming to converse with him telepathically. Priya shrugged at me like she was used to this mind-melding during her workday.
“It’s just . . . it’s ours,” Dylan said eventually. “It’s our thing that we worked on. And we think it’s going to help people. Nicki might make it . . . trivial.”
Priya winced a little, and I resisted doing the same.
Oh god, we had bigger problems than I realized. Most people weren’t exactly on the road to proposing to partners they thought trivialized their life’s work. Surely this couldn’t be what Dylan wanted, and it wasn’t fair of me to push and sculpt and scheme?
The question was, how far was I willing to go?
The last hour of the journey took on a different feeling, it was almost timeless. It had softened, from the laughter and excitement of free beer and a day well spent, into something else. Ben and Eric spoke in soft tones, laughing and whispering. Eric looked lit up, like he’d never been so beautiful or alive. Even when I first met him, when he had that whole “I’m the king of the world” vibe going on, he hadn’t looked like this. He was glowing with possibility. Tola had walked off down the carriage, on the phone to one of her friends, arranging what club she’d meet them at. She’d rock up tomorrow, tell us she’d been partying till six a.m., and have no clue of how a real hangover could devastate you. Priya had her headphones in and looked more comfortable than anyone should curled up in a window seat on a train with their eyes closed. She said she’d take sleep wherever she could get it. Dylan was swiping through music choices.
I’d been frowning at my own phone, trying to make my way through a theory-heavy marketing article, when the battery died. I huffed, chucking it down on the table. I looked out of the window, then back at the table again. How did I forget a charger? My leg was already jittering at the idea of not having any way to be productive.
Then I saw an earphone on the table in front of me. I looked up at Dylan, and he nodded. When I heard what he was listening to, I couldn’t help smiling. The same whiny teenage rock we’d loved years ago. This could have been a playlist we’d made back then, sitting on the school bus with one strand of the earphones each, listening on his Walkman, then my CD player, then his MP3 player. The music barely changing with the technology. Always one set of earphones, heads pulled together as we nodded along.
The nostalgia was so visceral it gave me a stomachache.
Dylan slid his phone across to me. “You choose the next track.”
Then he looked out of the window again, like it wasn’t happening. Like he hadn’t offered me the smallest way back to our past.
That was how we passed the final hour home, revisiting the music we used to love, smiling out of the window, and pretending it meant nothing at all.